Chapter 13
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
—Robert Frost
Emma wished they could stay in this magical place forever.
Leaning against Grayson felt so natural and comfortable.
After years of flying solo, she’d fallen into coupledom with remarkable ease, especially since Simone had expressed her approval.
If only they weren’t due to leave right when things were getting interesting.
Though it would be hard to leave him, she had no regrets after the most amazing week of her life.
Who knew that when she came for Christmas and Hunter’s wedding that she’d meet someone like Grayson and have her entire life turned upside down in the course of a few unforgettable days?
Things like that didn’t happen to her. They happened to other people, like Cameron and Lucy. Not her.
Emma was pragmatic enough to know that one didn’t make major decisions after a whirlwind holiday romance.
That would be foolish, and she was anything but.
While she wasn’t about to write off what they had together as hopeless, she had to be realistic.
She and Simone had a life in the city. She had a job that paid the bills, put food on the table and provided affordable health insurance for both of them.
They also had the significant support of friends and other parents who made it possible for Simone to participate in a wide range of after-school activities and who covered for Emma when she needed an assist. Not to mention, her dad was nearby in case of emergencies and was always willing to lend a hand with Simone.
A single mother didn’t walk away from a network like that, not even for someone as appealing as Grayson Coleman. Was she tempted to say to hell with it and go all-in with him? Absolutely. Would she do it? Absolutely not.
She blinked back tears that couldn’t be blamed entirely on the cold. It sure had felt good to feel like a desirable woman again and to have someone to talk to about the things that weighed heavily on her heart, not to mention the laughter, the tenderness, the passion…
Emma took a deep breath of cold air, determined to keep her emotions in check, especially in front of Simone, who would tune right in to her distress. There was no hiding from a perceptive nine-year-old.
“There’s Will and Cam’s place,” Grayson said, gesturing to the log cabin, where a plume of smoke rose from the chimney.
“Can we stop to see them?” Simone asked.
“Ahh, they might be ‘busy,’” Grayson said, making Emma snort with laughter.
“Doing what?” Simone asked.
“Yes, Grayson, do tell us what they might be busy doing,” Emma said, smiling at him.
“Um, ah, well, they said something about doing the laundry today.”
Emma choked back a laugh.
“Oh, that’s boring,” Simone said. “I hate when Mommy makes me fold the laundry.”
“Folding is definitely the worst part,” Grayson said, giving Emma a playful glare that nearly had her laughing out loud.
A few minutes later, he drove the sleigh into the gates of the Stillman/Abbott Family Christmas Tree Farm, and after they’d traveled down a long road, he brought it to a stop in front of a big red barn.
“This is a Christmas tree farm?” Simone asked. “Like with chickens and stuff?”
“No chickens or cows. Just trees. You know the ones you see for sale in the city?”
She nodded.
“They come from places like this.” He gestured to the acres of trees planted in neat rows.
“That’s so cool. I never thought about where they came from.”
“You want to help me put the horses away?”
“If I can,” she said, scowling at the sling.
“There’s a lot you can do with one hand. Wait for me to help you down.”
He helped Emma down and then went around for Simone, lifting her off the sled effortlessly. Under normal circumstances, her fiercely independent daughter would’ve scurried down on her own and told him she didn’t need the help.
“Thanks,” she said.
“No problem.” He talked Simone through the steps of putting up the horses and stashing the sleigh. They’d removed the bridle on the first horse when Lucas appeared on a snowmobile.
He cut the engine. “Did you guys have fun?” he asked.
“It was so fun,” Simone said.
“Let me give you a hand with the horses,” Lucas said as he got off the snowmobile. “Maybe you can help us brush them.”
“Can I, Grayson?” she asked, looking up at him with big eyes full of excitement and wonder.
“Of course. You can be in charge of the brushing.”
Emma wished she could bottle him and take him home with her.
If only it were that simple. She kept a close eye on Simone to make sure she wasn’t underfoot or in danger of further injury, but she needn’t have worried.
Grayson kept an even closer eye on her and let her do as much as she could to help.
When they’d fed and watered the horses and stashed the sleigh inside the barn, Lucas said, “I was thinking about building a snowman, Simone. You want to help me?”
“Can I, Mom?”
“If you’re careful of your sore arm.”
“She can do the decorating,” Lucas said. “I’ll do the rolling.” To Simone, he said, “Run into the office over there and grab the snowman kit on the bookshelf.”
She took off toward the office.
“You and Emma want to take the snowmobile for a ride?” Lucas asked Grayson.
Was Lucas trying to give them some time alone? Was he really that perceptive, or were they really that obvious?
“What do you think, Em?” Grayson asked. “Want to go for a ride?” He waggled his brows and made her laugh.
“Um, sure. That sounds fun.”
Simone returned with the brightly painted box that she opened to show her mother the orange wooden carrot, the black buttons, red scarf and black felt hat contained within. “It’s everything we need to make a snowman,” Simone said. “How cool is that?”
“Very cool. Grayson was going to take me for a ride on the snowmobile. Is that okay with you?”
“Yep. I’ve got to help Lucas with the snowman.”
“Take your time,” Lucas said. “We’ll go upstairs to make hot chocolate when we’re done.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Emma asked him.
“I’m sure. I’m on vacation this week. Nothing but time.”
“Okay, then. You guys have fun.” She kissed Simone’s cold, rosy cheek. “We’ll be back soon.” To Grayson, she said, “Do we need helmets?”
“We’ll go slow.”
Since she trusted him implicitly, she got on behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.
“Hold on nice and tight,” he said suggestively.
Emma laughed and squeezed her thighs until they were snug against his backside.
He let out a low groan that made her giggle as he fired up the powerful machine and propelled them into a wide circular turn.
Emma waved to Simone, who was supervising Lucas as he rolled the first big ball of snow for the snowman.
“You’re not holding on tight enough,” Grayson said. “I wouldn’t want you to fall off.”
Emma smiled and rested her face and body against his back, holding on to him as tight as she could.
They took the same path they’d taken with the sleigh, around the outskirts of town. He surprised her when he pulled off the path and brought the snowmobile to a stop on a scenic overlook that faced Butler Mountain and turned off the engine.
“Why are we stopping?” she asked.
“Give me one second and I’ll show you.” He stood and turned to face her before sitting back down and reaching for her.
“Because I couldn’t wait any longer for this.
” He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her with hours’ worth of pent-up desperation that she returned in equal measure.
The deep strokes of his tongue had her straining to get closer to him.
“God,” he whispered against her lips, “what’re you doing to me?”
“Same thing you’re doing to me.”
“How am I supposed to let you go tomorrow?”
The softly spoken question brought tears to her eyes.
“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. We’ll figure it out.”
She shook her head. “There’s nothing to figure out. You live here. I live there.”
“I don’t live anywhere right now. I can get a job in New York.”
Emma pulled back so she could see his face. “That’s not what you want.”
“I want you. I want this. I want us.”
She shook her head. “Grayson, you just made this big change to simplify your life—”
“Then I met you, and nothing is simple anymore.”
“You’ve got a new apartment.”
“That I haven’t moved anything into yet. I haven’t done anything that can’t be undone.”
Her heart raced with foolish hope. “You can’t make decisions based on a few days.”
“I can’t?”
“No, you can’t. You were excited to move home, to be closer to your family, to simplify your life.”
“That was so three days ago. Everything is different now.”
“Grayson, you can’t—”
He kissed her again, making her forget the many reasons this could be a very bad idea and all the many more reasons it could be the best idea either of them had ever had. When they came up for air many minutes later, he said, “Give me some time to figure things out, okay?”
She tipped her head forward, resting it on his chest.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I’m afraid to get my hopes up.”
“Don’t be afraid. You can go home tomorrow knowing I want this as much as you do, and we’re going to find a way. I promise.”
She shook her head again. “Don’t make promises.”
“I never make promises I don’t intend to keep. Look at me, Emma.”
Drawing in a deep breath, she raised her head and met his intense gaze.
“I promise you it’s okay to have faith in me and in us.
I promise you it’s okay to feel hopeful and excited about what’s to come.
” He brushed a soft kiss over her lips. “I promise you this is not the end, but just the beginning.”
Her heart beat so fast, she felt light-headed. He made her believe anything was possible and all she had to do was have faith. She could do that if it meant more time with him, more of the way she felt when he held her and kissed her and made love to her. More. Just more.
“Do you believe me?” he asked.
“I want to.”
“You can. I swear you can.”
“We… We should go back. Simone…”