Chapter 16
At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.
—Plato
Emma woke to total darkness and cozy warmth that she quickly realized was coming from Grayson sleeping next to her. They’d fallen asleep. Again! Damn it! “Grayson.” She nudged him. “Gray, wake up.”
“Oh crap.”
“Exactly. We’ve got to go.”
“Not yet.” His arm around her kept her from getting out of bed. “Five more minutes of this. Please?”
“It’s really late.”
“They’re sound asleep and will never know what time you came home.”
Knowing he was right, Emma forced herself to relax ever so slightly. She didn’t want to go any more than he wanted to let her.
“If I could have anything I wanted, I’d want to keep you and Simone here with me.”
His words were like a balm on the wound opening in her heart. “Thank you for telling me that.”
“Would you even consider moving? Your sister is here. I’m here… I know it’s crazy and too soon, but would you think about it? Simone loves it here.”
“I know she does. I do, too.” Emma sighed. “Our whole life is there, though.”
“Lives can be moved.”
“It’s hard for me to explain how important my network is to me and to making it possible for Simone to do the things all the other kids do. Not to mention, my job, health insurance, my dad…”
“I know it all seems insurmountable right now, and under normal circumstances, I never would’ve brought it up so soon. But these aren’t normal circumstances. We’ve found something here that I’ve never had with anyone else.”
“I haven’t either,” she said softly.
“The thought of letting the two of you leave later today makes me feel sick.”
“It makes me feel sick to think about leaving.”
“I haven’t done anything here that can’t be undone, so I’m not opposed to moving to New York.”
“You just left another city to move home. Your whole family is here.”
“If I got to be with you, I’d move, Emma. I’m not just saying that.”
Her eyes burned with tears. He made her want things she’d never thought she’d have, not in a million years. “Could we… maybe… take a little more time before we make any big decisions?”
“We can do whatever you want. I’m not going anywhere except to New York to see you next weekend.”
“Next weekend?”
“If I make it that long.”
Just that quickly, her sorrow turned to joy at knowing she would see him again—soon.
“I’ll get a hotel. Don’t worry. We’ll keep it all on the up-and-up for Simone.”
“Don’t get a hotel. Stay with us. We’ll make sure you’re back on the sofa by the morning.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes!” She laughed. “I’m very, very sure.”
“Are we being ridiculous for diving all-in to this so soon?”
“Probably.”
“All I know is I’m way past the point in my life where I have any desire to play games.”
“I never got to have that stage. I had to grow up awfully fast.”
“I want to give you everything you’ve never had.”
“Grayson…”
“Too much?”
“You’re making my heart beat fast.”
He laid his hand over her rapidly beating heart. “I’ve never made anyone’s heart beat fast.”
“Now you have.” She covered his hand with hers. “We should go.”
“I know,” he said, but he made no move to let her go.
Rather, he moved them so he was above her, gazing down at her with so much emotion that Emma couldn’t process it all.
Then he kissed her, making her forget about the late hour, her impending departure, the question he’d asked her and everything other than the pleasure she found in his arms.
He made slow, sweet, sexy love to her, as if they had all the time in the world rather than only a few hours before they would go their separate ways. For now, anyway.
She wished she could bottle the way he made her feel when he touched her.
He loved her with unrestrained passion that he didn’t try to hide or mask as anything other than exactly what it was.
The raw emotion she saw in his expression touched her deeply and had her clinging to him when she came harder than she ever had before.
He was right there with her, holding her tight against him as he lost himself in her.
It was, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful moments she’d ever experienced.
His lips brushing her cheek made her aware of tears that she hadn’t known were there. “Don’t cry, sweet Emma. We’re going to figure this out. Now that I’ve found you, I’m not letting you go.”
With her arms around him, she held on tight to his assurances. “I have to get back to the Abbotts’.”
“I know.”
She felt his reluctance as he withdrew from her and helped her up.
They took a hot shower together and got dressed in silence, the weight of the intense intimacy they’d shared hanging over them as they ventured into the predawn darkness.
By then, it was after four o’clock, and Emma felt ridiculously guilty for staying out so late.
“I’m sure you’re worried about offending my aunt and uncle, but after having raised ten children, there’s literally nothing that surprises them anymore.”
“I’d never want to take advantage of their hospitality.”
“You haven’t. Don’t worry. They’re super cool. They’d never think a thing of it. Besides, my uncle and grandfather have made it their mission in life to see us all married off. If that were to happen with us, they’d find a way to take full credit.”
His use of the word married in relation to them did crazy things to her insides, which were already a jumbled mess of emotion after the night she’d spent with him.
“I’ll pick up you and Simone around nine, okay?”
“Will that give us enough time to make a two o’clock flight in Burlington?”
“More than enough.”
“You don’t have to walk me in,” Emma said after they pulled into the driveway at the barn. “Go get some sleep.”
He raised his hand to her face and leaned across the console to kiss her. “I wish you could’ve stayed all night.”
“Me, too.”
“I’ll see you soon.” He kissed her one more time, lingering, letting her know he didn’t want to let her go.
Emma pulled back, smiled at him and opened the door to an icy blast. She jogged the short distance to the mudroom door and ducked inside, feeling like the naughty teenager she’d once been, sneaking into her parents’ home long after curfew.
Thankfully, the dogs were upstairs with Linc and Molly and didn’t hear her come in.
She stepped into the kitchen and came to an abrupt stop at the sight of Max, seated at the kitchen table, giving baby Caden a bottle, a gentle lullaby playing on Max’s cell phone. “Oh, um… Hi, Max.”
“Hey.”
Emma’s face burned with mortification. “I… um…”
“No worries,” he said with a chuckle. “I won’t tell Mom and Dad.”
“This is so embarrassing.”
“I trust you had a nice time with Grayson.”
“Ahhh, yeah.” Could a person actually expire from humiliation? “We had a nice time.”
“He’s a good guy. One of the best guys I know. He was very helpful to me after Caden was born.”
“That’s, um, good to know.”
“Could I ask you something that’s none of my business?”
“Sure,” Emma said, wondering what was on his mind.
“When you first had Simone and knew you’d be raising her on your own, were you scared?”
Emma’s heart went out to him as she took a seat at the table. “Terrified.”
“I don’t know if I can do it.”
“Yes, you can. You absolutely can. You have this amazing family all around you. They’d do anything for you and Caden.
You can do this, Max. Will it be easy? No.
It’ll be the hardest thing you ever do, but it’ll also be the most rewarding.
I didn’t plan to have Simone when I did, but with hindsight, I wouldn’t change a thing.
She’s the best thing to ever happen to me, and he will be for you, too. I know it.”
“He is pretty great,” Max said, gazing down at his son sleeping in his arms.
“You can’t believe this now, but it’ll go by so fast. He’ll be almost ten before you know what happened. And another thing—he won’t always be as needy as he is now. Before long, he’ll be able to do a lot of things for himself, and you’ll feel like you can breathe again.”
“That’s very helpful. Thank you.”
“Any time. I’ll give you my number. You call me any time you need to talk.”
“That’s really nice of you.”
“I remember being right where you are, and I know how you feel. You’re not alone in this. Caden is so lucky to have a dad who cares so much about getting it right.”
“That’s all I want—is to get it right and to make sure he has the best possible life.”
“If those are your goals, you’re already a wonderful dad.”
“You really think so?”
His insecurity was so very endearing. “I know so.” She picked up his cell phone from the table and added her number to his contacts. “You call me any time you need a single-parent friend. Okay?”
“I will. Thank you so much, Emma.”
“Happy to help, and thanks for not ratting me out to Mom and Dad,” she said with a wink.
“If you only knew the secrets I’ve kept in this house. You think it’s easy being the youngest of ten?”
“You wear it well. I’m going to bed.” She nodded to Caden. “Looks like you’re good to go for a while, too. Sleep when he does.”
“That’s what everyone says.”
“Night, Max.”
“Night.”
Emma crept up the stairs and peeked into Simone’s room to check on her before going to her own room and closing the door, breathing a sigh of relief not to have encountered Molly or Lincoln.
As she got ready for bed, she thought about her conversation with Max as well as the night she’d spent with Grayson, the things he’d said, how he wished she and Simone could move to Vermont.
It was funny how that never would’ve crossed her mind until she came for Christmas, met Colton’s incredible cousin and had her orderly little world turned upside down.
She tiptoed across the hall to use the bathroom and brush her teeth, finally breathing easier when she was tucked into the comfortable bed in Hannah’s old room.
Sleep proved elusive, however, as she allowed herself to entertain the tempting fantasy that Grayson had suggested.
They could move to Vermont. She could find another job here.
The Abbotts and Colemans knew everyone. Surely they could help her find something.
They would have Lucy back in their daily lives, along with Colton and his big family.
And they would have Grayson… The very thought of spending every day with him, having him act as a father to Simone, sleeping next to him every night and making sweet, sexy love with him whenever she wanted…
Even after knowing him less than a week, she already knew she’d do anything to make that fantasy a reality.
But when she thought about her dad, alone in the city while both his daughters were six hours away, her fantasy crashed back to earth.
She couldn’t leave him. She wouldn’t leave him.
It would break his heart not to be able to see Simone any time he wanted and vice versa.
Emma couldn’t do that to either of them.
Her heart ached as the fantasy slipped out of reach.
Not only did she have her dad to consider, but her job and the benefits it provided that gave her peace of mind, the support network that had taken years to cultivate…
The life that had been lonely at times but mostly satisfying didn’t look quite so satisfying post-Grayson Coleman.
She couldn’t let that happen. She couldn’t allow a few days with a sexy, wonderful man to color her perception of the life she’d worked so hard to build for herself and Simone.
Emma tossed and turned and tried to find a position that was anywhere near as comfortable as she’d been sleeping in Grayson’s arms. At some point, she must’ve dozed off, because she woke to sunlight streaming through the window and realized she’d forgotten to draw the blinds during her early morning sneak-in.
Tears pooled in her eyes that couldn’t be blamed entirely on the ruthless glare of the sun.
Today they had to leave this magical place where they’d had such a wonderful Christmas break.
Tomorrow, she had to go to work. The dentists she worked for held Saturday hours that were always booked solid.
Simone had her friend’s birthday party. They had to pick up a gift for the party, and she needed to hit the grocery store, too.
Reality had a nasty way of intruding on a lovely fantasy, reminding her that no matter how wonderful the visit to Vermont had been, it was time to go home.