Chapter 9
Nine
“When you’ve seen beyond yourself, then you may find, peace of mind is waiting there.”
—George Harrison
Hannah arrived home to a large bull moose standing in her front yard, mooing loudly enough to wake the dead, and a younger moose inside her house, mooing back in anticipation of what she’d taken to calling the daily playdate.
In her car seat, Callie, who’d soon be one, joined in the mooing.
Nolan despaired that his baby girl had mooed before she’d talked.
Hannah was secretly thrilled that her daughter was growing up with the same love for animals that Hannah had. “Take it easy,” she said to Fred when she got out of the car.
He came right over to her, nudging her with his cold wet nose.
Nolan would lose his mind if he saw Fred that close to his pregnant wife and baby daughter.
But what he couldn’t seem to understand was that Hannah knew down to her soul that Fred would never hurt her.
How she knew that, she couldn’t explain.
She just did. She had such faith in him that she even let him nuzzle Callie, but only when Nolan wasn’t around to lose his shit.
Fred was family. They didn’t need to worry about him.
From inside, Dexter was making a racket and possibly damaging the new steel door Nolan had installed after Dexter had gotten a little too enthusiastic one day and split the wood door right down the middle.
Naturally, Nolan had taken advantage of that incident to remind Hannah of why moose belonged outside and not inside their home. And she’d reminded him that Dexter was part of their family, and as such, he had every right to split the door if the door could be split to begin with.
Nolan had been unamused, but he’d replaced the door anyway. Hannah was well aware that it wasn’t easy to be married to her, but, as she liked to tell him, he knew she was a loon when he married her.
“I had no idea the level of looniness I was signing on for,” he’d say every time she reminded him that he’d taken her on “as is.”
Hannah opened the door to let Dexter and their dog, Homer Junior, into the yard for their daily playdate with Fred.
Callie squealed with delight as the three friends greeted each other with jubilation that filled Hannah with joy the likes of which she’d once thought she’d never experience again.
It had taken many years, as well as Nolan, Callie, Homer Junior, Dexter, Fred and the routine that framed their days, to finally recover as much as she ever would from the devastating loss of her first husband, Caleb, in Iraq.
As she sat on the stairs in the cold December chill, holding her baby girl while the animals frolicked, Hannah was filled with contentment.
Today, however, her contentment was tinged with sorrow after hearing her father’s story.
She’d been curious all her life about his side of the family, about whether she had grandparents, aunts, uncles or cousins.
Now that she knew the full tale, she wasn’t sure how she felt about people who should’ve been close family to her and her siblings but were instead strangers.
What they’d done to her dad defied belief.
She held on tighter to Callie, who squirmed to get free and then let out a happy scream as Nolan’s truck came into view.
Her daughter was an unrepentant daddy’s girl.
When Nolan was out of the car and done scowling at the frolicking moose, Hannah let Callie go to toddle her way to him, her gait reminiscent of a drunken sailor.
Hannah had never seen anything more perfect than the way her husband lit up at the sight of his daughter, scooping her up and making her shriek with laughter that had both moose and Homer stopping their game to make sure their little girl was all right.
Seeing Nolan, they resumed their game.
Their little family was unconventional, but Hannah wouldn’t have it any other way.
“I see it’s the usual circus around here,” Nolan said as he leaned in to kiss Hannah. “No Savannah today?”
Hannah normally took care of Dani’s daughter during the week. “Dani’s parents are here for Christmas and staying at a B&B two towns over. They had her today. We just got home a few minutes before you.”
“From where?”
“Family meeting at the barn.”
“What’s that about?”
“I’ll tell you inside. I don’t want her out in this cold for too long, and Dex will be looking for his dinner.”
“What about my dinner?” Nolan asked with a grin. He cooked as many nights as she did, so he wasn’t being sexist.
“We’ll see about that, too.”
“Is everything okay, Han? You’re doing that thing with your eyebrows that happens when you’re wound up about something.”
Hannah loved that he knew her so well, he could read her moods with a single glance.
“Let’s go in.” She got up to lead the way, with Nolan carrying Callie as he followed her.
Knowing it was dinnertime, Dex and Homer were right behind them, leaving Fred alone in the yard to moo his protest over the end of playtime.
“Don’t even think about inviting him in here,” Nolan said with a scowl.
“You’re not allowed to tell me what to think about.”
“In this case, I am.”
“Just because you’re still mad that Dexter outsmarted you doesn’t mean you have to take it out on me.
” She took off Callie’s hat and coat and hung them on a hook by the door before removing her daughter’s tiny snow boots.
Once free, Callie took off running. They laughed at how she’d gone from barely standing to running in a matter of days.
“Are you ever going to let me forget that Dexter outsmarted me?”
“Not in this lifetime.” Hannah shot him a saucy smile over her shoulder as she headed for the kitchen to feed her boys.
A couple of months ago, after Dex had gotten a little too comfortable with life inside the house, Nolan had told her it was time to let him go before it was too late for him to learn the things he needed to know to survive in the wild.
Hannah had been heartbroken at the thought of Dexter living anywhere but with her, but she’d agreed to let him go—if that was what he wanted.
She’d let Dexter out into the yard for the first time without supervision to wait for Fred to come to play.
Hannah had stayed in the house and watched from the window, trying not to cry at the thought of Dexter leaving with Fred, who’d tried to lure him away before.
And when he’d sprinted after Fred, her heart had shattered into a million pieces. She’d sobbed so hard, she’d woken Callie from her nap early.
However, hours later, after they’d gone to bed for the night, Dexter had returned, smacking his hooves against the door.
Hannah had bolted out of bed and gone to let him in.
Much to Nolan’s dismay, he’d never tried to leave again.
She knew they’d have to figure out a different plan—or buy a bigger house—before Dex was fully grown, but for now, he slept on his oversized dog bed in front of the fire every night, ate from a bowl next to Homer’s and was part of their family, even if people (including her own husband) thought she was insane.
Maybe she was, but she loved Dex like family and was so thankful he’d chosen to stay with them, even if Nolan groused about it on a daily basis.
“So what happened at the barn?” Nolan asked, holding Callie as he cracked open a beer.
Hannah checked the crockpot of minestrone soup she’d made earlier. “You won’t believe it.”
By the time she finished telling him the whole story, he’d helped Callie eat her dinner of pasta and vegetables.
“That’s seriously messed up,” Nolan declared. “What’s your dad going to do?”
“He’s going there tomorrow, and we’re all going with him.”
“How come everyone is going?”
“Because we want them to see what came of the choice they forced him to make.” Even as she said the words, her heart ached with grief for her dad and what he’d had to give up to be with the woman he loved.
The story had touched her deeply as she tried to picture life without the two men she’d loved or being forced to choose between them and her parents and siblings.
The thought of it made her shudder.
And then Nolan was there with his hands on her shoulders and his lips brushing over her hair. “You’re upset.”
“Hearing what they put him through… It was awful. I always wondered why we didn’t see or hear about his family, and now that I know why…”
“You wish you didn’t.”
“Right. How can I be related to someone who’d do such a thing to his own son?”
“Aww, Han, you’re nothing like that. You have a baby moose living in your house. I think it’s safe to say those genes passed you by.”
She laughed through her tears as she turned to face him. “How do you always know just what to say to me?”
“I speak Hannah.”
Wrapping her arms around him, she leaned into him, thankful as always for his steady presence. “Thank goodness someone does.”
“I’m dirty, sweetheart. Let me go take a shower and change so we can continue this conversation.”
Hannah held on tighter, certainly accustomed by now to the scents of motor oil, gas and grease that came home from the garage with him. He told her she was weird because she liked those smells. “Don’t go yet.”
“I’m here.”
They stood there for a long time, until Callie squeaked, wanting to be released from the high chair.
“Are you taking my little girl with you on this trip?”
“I’ll have to since you’re working and everyone else is going with me. I could ask Aunt Hannah to take her, but I’d hate to be away from her even for a day.”
“I’ll take the day off if you want to leave her at home.”
“You don’t have to. I don’t mind taking her.”
“What am I supposed to do without my ladies tomorrow night?”
“Snuggle Dex?”
“That is not happening.”
“You will feed him, though, right?”
“Yes, Hannah,” he said with a long-suffering sigh. “I’ll feed him.”