Chapter 15 #2
“You can’t know that.”
“I do know that. I was alone for a long time after my wife died. I never imagined anything like this happening again for me, but then there you were, and here we are, and this is what I want. You’re what I want.” He tipped her chin up. “Admit you love me, too.”
She shrugged. “Maybe a little.”
His brows furrowed into an expression that had probably made his daughters, Lucy and Emma, quake when he’d directed it their way as children. It only made Hannah want to giggle because she knew she had nothing at all to fear from him. “Tell me the truth.”
As she looked at the face that’d become the center of her life over the last year, she couldn’t deny how she felt about him. “Yes, Ray, of course I love you, but I promised myself a long time ago I’d never again risk more than I could bear to lose.”
“You’re not risking anything with me but a lifetime of happiness. That’s all I want for you—and for myself.”
Hannah wanted that so badly, but in the back of her mind—always—was the lingering damage Mike had inflicted when he abruptly left her after nearly twenty years of marriage. Even after all this time, it still rankled her that she hadn’t seen the end of her marriage coming until it was too late.
“I’ll never do to you what he did, Hannah,” he said again. “You already know that about me.”
She did know that. Ray was as true blue as it got. He meant what he said, and his word was gold.
“Our kids…” Her Grayson would soon marry his Emma, and a mess between her and Ray would be a mess for them, as well.
“Are madly in love and thrilled they led us to each other. You know that, too.”
“I do, but if things were to go wrong between us—”
Ray kissed her. “Nothing’s gonna go wrong.”
“You say that now.”
“I say that forever.”
“I won’t marry you.”
He feigned offense. “I’m not asking you to, but I did hear you whisper to your sister that you’re thinking about asking me to move in. So why don’t you go ahead and do that?”
“Why would I want you to move in with me when you’re such a pain in the ass?”
“Because I’m a great cook and a god in bed?”
“Oh my Lord,” she said, rolling her eyes as she tried not to laugh her ass off.
“Am I wrong?”
“I refuse to answer that on the grounds you’ll use it against me forever.”
“You’re using the word ‘forever,’ which is a good sign.” He framed her face, kissed her again and compelled her to look up at him. “Ask me, Hannah. I promise you’ll never regret it.”
She already knew she wouldn’t regret it, but the fear loomed larger than it ought to. “I have to tell you something first.”
He looked at her warily. “What’s that?”
“Mike called me last week.”
“What’d he want?”
“To tell me that he’s in remission thanks to Gray donating bone marrow to him, and he’s been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting on his mistakes. The biggest of which, I guess, has to do with me and the children he left without a backward glance.”
“So he’s found religion after his life-threatening illness, has he?”
“Something like that. The kids have told me he’s reached out to them, too.”
“Why was he calling you?”
“To ask if I might be in a forgiving mood.”
Ray’s expression turned stormy. “Is he for real? More than twenty years after he split, he’s coming back to sniff around? I hope you told him to fuck off.”
She’d never heard him curse, let alone drop an F bomb. “I didn’t say it that way, but I let him know my door is closed and padlocked. To him, anyway.”
“Good,” he said, settling somewhat. “Takes some nerve to come back with his tail between his legs after all this time, just because he thought he was going to die and finally decided to take stock of his shit decisions.”
“You’re very cute when you’re pissed.”
“I must be downright adorable right now, then.” He put his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye.
“Listen, Hannah. You already know I’m a simple kind of guy.
I’m never going to overwhelm you with fancy words or grand gestures or romantic nonsense.
What you get with me is as simple as I am: love, honesty, faithfulness, family, companionship, laughter and a promise that I won’t split when it gets tough, which it certainly will at some point.
All I need to be happy is to wake up with you, see my daughters just about every day, get my baby girl Simone off the school bus every afternoon, help her with her homework and then come home to have dinner with you before we go to bed together.
If that’s what every day for the rest of my life looked like, maybe with a few more grandkids thrown in at some point, it’d be way more than enough for me. ”
“And you said you wouldn’t overwhelm me with fancy words,” she said, ridiculously moved.
He scowled. “There was nothing fancy about that.”
“And yet it was the fanciest thing anyone has ever said to me, because you mean it.”
“Hell yes, I mean it. It’s long past time you knew how terrific you are, how sweet, caring, loving, sexy and perfect.
It’s a goddamned shame your husband ever made you feel anything other than cherished, especially after you gave him the incredible gift of eight beautiful kids.
The man ought to be taken out to the woodshed and horsewhipped for what he did. ”
“Your words are getting fancier.”
“Shut up and ask me to move in with you.”
“You’re being kind of pushy, aren’t you?” she asked, amused.
“Ask me, Hannah.”
She gave him a coy look she wouldn’t have thought herself still capable of before he showed her the many things she was still capable of. “You wanna move in?”
“Hell yes. I thought you’d never ask.”
“You promise you won’t make me sorry I did, right?”
“Swear to God.”
That, Hannah decided as she melted into his fierce embrace, was about the best guarantee she could ever hope to receive.