Chapter 18
Eighteen
Maggie thought about Brayden and the things he’d said as she tossed and turned when she should’ve been sleeping and all the next day as she sleep-walked through work.
Kate had invited her to dinner, but she declined because she was so tired.
During the rough night, she’d relived the thing with Ethan and wondered if what was happening with Brayden had somehow triggered that memory.
She knew she ought to talk to a professional about the incident with Ethan, but the last thing in the world she wanted to do was relive it, even though talking about it might possibly help her get past it.
She had gotten past it. Since it happened, she’d relocated to Tennessee, helped to start Matthews House and was doing her best to make a difference for the community she served every day.
Things had been going along just fine until Brayden Thomas had shown up and tipped her life upside down. Was it fair to blame him for her current state of unrest? Probably not, but he’d stirred things up between them, and she’d been out of sorts ever since.
When he called that night, she declined the FaceTime call and texted him. Not feeling great. Going to bed early.
He wrote back right away. Feel better.
The next night, he didn’t call.
Maggie didn’t hear from him again while he was away, and was infuriated with herself because she actually missed talking to him. How was that even possible?
She and Thunder went for a ride every afternoon, which was the only comfort she got from her racing mind.
For whatever reason, her thoughts went quiet when she was riding.
Thankfully, after the nightmare of Debbie’s sudden death, things at the house had been relatively quiet for the rest of the week, as if the universe knew that Maggie needed a break.
She’d spent individual time with Corey as well as the other mothers, checking in with each of them as she did weekly about how they might transition to independent living over the next few months. Each of them had different needs and concerns, and Maggie did her best to provide support.
On Saturday night, she went to Kate’s for dinner that Jill was cooking for the new parents.
If she’d had her way, Maggie would’ve declined that invite, too, but they would come to her if she continued to hold her sisters at arm’s length.
So she showered, dried her hair, put on clean jeans and a lightweight top and went to Kate’s.
Besides, she hadn’t seen Poppy in days except for the pictures Kate sent daily to the family group chat, so she was in need of a baby fix.
As she drove, she hoped her sisters wouldn’t immediately tune in to the turmoil that had wrecked her concentration the last few days. She didn’t understand why she was so spun up. A nice, sexy guy had asked her out. Why the hell was she freaking out?
Maybe it was because she suspected this, with him, could be a big deal if she allowed it to be.
With everything else she was juggling, did she have the emotional capacity for him, too?
She wasn’t sure, and because of that, she should probably tell him the time wasn’t right for them.
But then they’d have to work together, which would be awkward, and ugh.
“I’m a freaking mess and nothing has even happened.” Hadn’t it, though? Through texts and phone calls and FaceTime chats, not to mention the time she’d spent with him before he left, something had definitely happened. He’d made it clear he wanted it to be more. And therein lay her problem.
She was so freaking conflicted.
After parking next to Ashton’s Jaguar, Maggie went in the mudroom door and kicked off her shoes. She walked into the kitchen, where Jill stood watch over the stove. Maggie looked to see what they were having. Spaghetti and meatballs. “Is there garlic bread?”
“Hi to you, too. And yes, of course there’s garlic bread. What do you take me for? A rookie?”
“Sorry to question you. I should know better.” After their mother’s accident, Kate and Jill had helped out with the cooking and had learned to feed a family much earlier than they would have otherwise.
“How’s it going at work?”
“A quiet few days, thankfully.”
Jill reached for her glass of white wine and leaned back against the island that housed the stove. “I’m sure everyone is still trying to wrap their heads around what happened. Have you heard how the kids are doing in Arizona?”
“Karen emailed me yesterday to say they’d arrived and the kids are doing as well as can be expected. They’re having a memorial service next week. Debbie was raised there and still has a lot of friends.”
“I wonder why she didn’t go home when things went south for her here.”
“Karen said it was probably because she didn’t want them to know that she was struggling. Debbie was always so proud, and after her husband left, things really unraveled for her.”
“It’s just so sad. I can’t stop thinking of her and her kids.”
“I know. Me, too. Karen said they got the preliminary results back from the autopsy, and Debbie had an enlarged heart. I guess it was undiagnosed. They’re pretty sure that’s what killed her.”
“Wow, the poor thing.” Jill released a deep sigh. “Are you doing okay through all this?”
“I’m good. The place keeps me so busy, I don’t have much time to dwell on what happened.”
“You look tired.”
Maggie had known her sisters would take one look at her and know something was up. “Maybe a little.”
“How’s the horse whisperer?”
“Fine. He’s still on vacation.”
“When does he get back?”
Maggie helped herself to a carrot from the salad on the counter. “Tomorrow.”
“Hmm.”
“What?”
“I’m wondering if you’re looking forward to him getting home.”
“I can’t wait to get the riding program started on Monday.”
“Don’t be obtuse, Maggie. I’m asking if you, Maggie, are looking forward to seeing him, Brayden.”
Maggie had never felt so tortured by what she ought to do and what she wanted to do, which, of course, her sister tuned in to.
“What’s going on, Mags?”
“Can I talk to you and Kate after dinner? Just us?”
“Of course.”
Maggie swallowed around the lump in her throat and nodded. They’d know what she should do. They always did. “Where is everyone?”
“Kate’s in the nursery with the baby. Reid took Ashton to the bunkhouse to look at something.”
“I’m going to check on Poppy before dinner.
” Maggie was eager to escape Jill’s knowing gaze and hoped she wasn’t making a mistake by confiding in her sisters.
But she needed to talk to someone about this situation, and there was no one she’d rather tell than them.
She was going to have to tell them everything—about what happened in New York with Ethan and about Brayden’s refusal to share what put him in juvie as a teenager.
They needed all the facts before they could advise her properly.
“Knock, knock,” Maggie whispered from the door to the adorable nursery Kate and Reid had put together for Poppy.
Not knowing the sex of the baby before her birth, they’d gone with earth tones and a warm shade of orange on one wall that also contained a mural with animals a friend of Kate’s had done. Kate was seated in the rocker, holding the baby.
“Come in,” she said. “We’re awake, aren’t we, angel?”
Poppy’s foot, which had snuck free of the blanket she was wrapped in, reacted to the sound of her mother’s voice with a dance kick.
Maggie came over for a closer look. “How’s she doing?”
“She’s amazing. Up all night and sleeping all day, but we hear that’s perfectly normal at first.”
“You must be beat.”
“I’m doing all right. I try to sleep when she does. That’s what the books say to do.”
Poppy looked up at them with big gray eyes.
“Does it seem like she already knows everything, or am I reading too much into the way she looks at us?” Maggie asked.
“I think she’s an old soul.”
“I can see that. She looks wise somehow.”
“I know! I said that to Reid last night, and he said, ‘Darlin’, all mamas think their babies are geniuses.’”
Kate’s impression of her husband was so spot-on that Maggie cracked up. “Does he know you can do that?”
“Oh yeah. I do it to his face all the time.”
“That’s awesome.”
“Not sure he agrees.”
“Are you kidding? He thinks the sun rises and sets on you.” Maggie had never seen a man look at a woman the way Reid looked at Kate.
At first, Maggie hadn’t understood how Kate could be attracted to a guy their dad’s age.
But after having spent so much time with them, she got it now.
There was no doubt the two of them were madly in love. Jill and Ashton were the same.
“I’m a lucky girl for sure. Even more so now that my sweet Poppy is here.”
“How’re you feeling besides being sleep-deprived?”
“Okay. I’m sore and my boobs are killing me, but I’ll be fine in a week or two. Every bit of it was worth having her.”
Maggie’s heart ached. She wanted what Kate had, what Jill had. None of it had come easily to them. She knew that, but still… She wanted her own happy ending. Which made her think of Brayden asking her out. “I asked Jill if we can talk, just us, after dinner.”
“What’s going on?”
“I need some girl time.”
“You got it. Is Poppy invited?”
“Of course. She’s one of the girls now.”
Jill came to get them for dinner, which was delicious, especially the garlic bread that Maggie had far too much of.
She helped Jill clean up the kitchen while the guys took Poppy for a bath.
Reid insisted he could handle bathing the baby on his own, and Ashton said he’d make sure his father didn’t mess it up.
“I’m not sure how I feel about this,” Kate said when the sisters were settled in the great room with glasses of wine for Maggie and Jill and iced tea for Kate, who wasn’t drinking while breastfeeding.
Maggie sat next to Kate on the sofa, while Jill was in a chair next to the sofa.
“He raised Ashton alone from the time he was two,” Jill reminded Kate.
“That was more than thirty years ago.”
“Some things you never forget,” Jill said.