Chapter 7
seven
. . .
Rachel
Am I really doing this?
I try to look at this clinically. I’m a single woman with needs. Jake is a single man, he’s incredibly good-looking, and for some reason, he keeps looking at me like he’s undressing me with his eyes. He may have flirted with Viv, but his eyes kept coming back to me.
I can totally have casual, no-strings-attached sex with my ex’s brother who’s giving me a place to stay. Right?
Leaving aside the fact that I’ve never been able to have casual, no-strings-attached anything before.
Right now, I don’t even care if this is a bad idea. I’m so far wound up, I’m about to spring out of my skin like a jack-in-the-box. Watching Jake dominate on the ice was a serious turn-on. I didn’t realize how hot it would be to watch him do the thing he’s best at.
Snow starts to fall as we make our way to the car, and I huddle deeper into my coat and then squirm closer to Jake. He wraps his arm around me like he doesn’t want to let me go.
For one night, I can pretend he likes me for real. For one night, I can pretend I’m not just another warm body to him. For one night, I can pretend I’m okay.
Inside the car, he cranks the heat and then sets his hand halfway up my thigh. His long, thick fingers dance along my inseam, tapping out a beat.
Heat ricochets through me, settling deep inside my core. I want this, want him. I can’t kid myself. Jake is gorgeous. I may have scoped out his Instagram, doing a deep dive. He doesn’t post photos with women.
That’s okay. I’m okay being anonymous. I’m okay being in his life without it being broadcasted to the entire world. He’s letting me into his house. I get to see the real him, unfiltered. That’s enough for me.
When we pull into the parking garage, Jake gets out and opens the door for me, then takes my hand in his. The ride up the elevator to the apartment is silent. His calloused palm feels good pressed up against my skin.
I’d like it even more on my bare skin—in other places.
Inside the apartment, he hesitates. “We should set ground rules,” he says. “Parameters.”
My eyebrow arches up. “Okay?”
“What do you want?”
That’s a loaded question.
I want to feel like myself again. I want to feel safe and secure. I want to know who I am and what I need—out of a partner, out of life.
But mainly… I want to get out of my head.
“I want to feel something,” I tell him. “Something that isn’t apathy or regret. I want to feel like myself again.”
He shucks his coat, laying it over his arm before moving to help me out of mine. He hangs them side by side in the front entry closet.
“I can do that,” he says. “I don’t want to make things uncomfortable for you.”
“You’re not.”
“Whatever happens…” He takes a breath. “It has no bearing on your staying here. You can stay as long as you’d like. I meant it—the room is yours, as long as you want it.”
“Thanks.” I start to unbutton my shirt. “Are we doing this?”
Jake tilts his head, watching me. “You’re kind of intense. You know that?”
Heat rises to my cheeks. “I’ve heard that before.”
“I like it,” he says.
Rolling my eyes, I look away. He might say that now, when he’s trying to get laid, but he can’t actually mean it.
He steps closer, one hand on my chin, tilting my face up until my eyes meet his.
“I like it,” he says again. “It’s part of why I had such a big crush on you growing up.”
My eyes widen. “What?”
He lifts a shoulder in a shrug. “I thought you were pretty freaking fantastic back then. I knew it would never happen—age difference aside, you were way out of my league, still are—but I could dream. So now, you standing here in front of me… I like that you’re intense. I like that you’re passionate. I like that you’re you .”
“Jake…”
“I can’t offer you much,” he says. “I know we live very different lives. I get that . But just for now, can’t we pretend? Can’t we just live in the moment?”
Slowly, I nod.
“Thank fuck,” he declares. His hand slides from my chin to the back of my head, threading his fingers through my hair, before his lips descend on mine.
Jake devours me, confident and sure. My lips part on a sigh and he surges between them, his tongue licking into my mouth.
My body sways toward him. He hauls me up against him, his hard muscles pressed against my soft curves sending delicious sensations through me. Tiptoeing my fingers up his solid chest, I reach for his tie, pulling it loose. He lets out a soft groan against my lips.
I start to undo his buttons. I get halfway down his torso before he grunts and breaks the kiss, pulling my hand away.
Taking a step back, I swallow. His taste lingers on my lips.
“Should I not?” My voice comes out breathy.
In response, Jake reaches for me, hauling my size twenty-six body over his shoulder. The world tilts upside down, giving me an excellent view of his ass in those suit pants. I grab one cheek. It’s rock hard.
“Careful, Rach,” he says, his voice hoarse as he walks me through the hallway and down toward his bedroom.
“Or what?” I taunt back.
His hand cups my ass through my jeans, squeezing and kneading the soft flesh there. “Tit for tat, babe.”
“You haven’t even seen my tits yet.”
Jake lays me out on his bed, looming over me. “Patience,” he says. He leans down to take off my boots, pulling the shoe free and tossing it behind him before divesting me of my sock, then doing the same to the other foot.
“I don’t want to be patient.” My hand slips down to the front of my jeans, popping the button.
He hisses between his teeth, reaching for me. He pulls me to the edge of the bed and then undoes my fly, pulling my jeans off my hips.
It’s almost time to go for another wax, the hair has grown in on my legs and on my bikini line, but with the way he’s looking at me, I don’t think he cares. His fingers curl into fists at his sides, his chest rising and falling rapidly.
Slowly, carefully, he exhales. His hands flex.
And then, his eyes on mine, he reaches for the thin band of my panties. They’re basic cotton, black with a subtle pink floral pattern.
My breath catches at the hungry look in his eyes. He peels my panties down my legs and brings them to his nose, inhaling deeply. My face heats.
“Fuck, Rachel,” Jake says, his deep voice gravelly. “You smell so good.”
I let my legs fall open with a sudden burst of confidence. “Oh? Why don’t you give it another check?”
He growls as he falls to his knees in front of me. He tosses my legs over his shoulders before he slides his hands under my ass.
And then he buries his face in my pussy.
I call out at the first touch of his tongue to me. He’s ruthless, relentless, devouring me. His tongue slides through my folds as his fingertips dig into the flesh of my ass. Jake brings one hand to my core, gathering the wetness there before slowly sliding a finger inside me.
Immediately, I clench around it. I want more. I need more.
He gets me used to the intrusion, thrusting his finger inside of me as his tongue flicks against my clit, sending a maelstrom of pleasure through me.
My hands fall to his thick, dark hair, threading my fingers through the curly strands. Oral is one of my favorite ways to get off, but I haven’t found a partner who is both willing and good enough at it.
Jake? He knows what he’s doing. And while I feel a tinge of frustration that he’s clearly done this before with other women, I’m placated by the fact that he’s here with me , and I’m the one benefiting from his experience. They’re not here in this bed. It’s just the two of us.
But how long can that last?