Chapter 13
thirteen
. . .
Rachel
Two days after the world goes back to normal, tonight is the team’s holiday party. I texted Vanessa about the dress code and she was much more helpful than Jake was. I think I have a dress figured out.
She also suggested we get our nails done together. I’m sure she’s dying for the gossip. I’ve been holding out on my friends. Aside from a quick text in the group chat that I found a place to stay, I’ve been keeping a low profile. I even skipped our monthly Neurospicy Book Club meetup.
I’m sure my friends want to make sure I’m okay, but sometimes their concern is smothering. It’s one of many reasons I stopped couch surfing and agreed to stay here. They mean well. They love hard. I’m just not always good at accepting their love.
It’s a common thread in my life.
Jake wanders into the kitchen, his hair mussed from sleep. He’s wearing a pair of gray sweats—and nothing else.
“Morning,” he says, reaching me and kissing my cheek. He pulls me into his arms and I wrap mine around his neck. He smells good, his fresh Irish Spring scent comforting me.
“Mm. Morning.” I offer him a sip of my coffee, but he shakes his head.
“Let’s go back to bed. Let’s spend the entire day naked,” he says.
With a laugh, I pull back. “You have practice. And I have plans.”
“Oh. Yeah.” He heads toward the coffee maker, then pauses. “Plans?”
“I’m meeting Vanessa.”
He gives me a faint smile, his eyes bright. “I like Van. She’s cool.”
“I’m glad you approve,” I say dryly.
Secretly, I am glad he likes my friends. It would make this infinitely more difficult if they didn’t get along.
Jake makes us both breakfast and we sit at the kitchen counter elbow to elbow. It’s nice, having someone at my side.
After I do the dishes—it’s only fair since he cooked—I go to get ready for my nail appointment and he gets dressed for practice. We head out the door at the same time.
“Oh, here,” Jake says, reaching into his pocket. He pulls out his wallet and offers me a credit card.
I don’t take the card. “What’s this for?”
“For your nails,” he says.
I stare up at him. “I can pay for my own nails.”
“Yeah. But I want to treat you,” he says.
“I’m a big girl. I don’t need your money,” I tell him.
“I know you are. And I know you don’t,” Jake says evenly. He inhales sharply. “I want to do something nice for you. Will you please let me pamper you?”
With a sigh, I relent. He’s clumsy about it, but he’s being sweet. He has good intentions.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
He tips my chin up. “I just want to take care of you,” he says. “I want to make you happy.”
“You don’t have to buy me things to make me happy. I just want you.”
Jake brushes a kiss against my lips. “Me, too.”
Leaning down, he pushes his card into the side pocket of my leggings.
“I’ll be back around two,” he says.
He offers to drive me to the nail salon, but I insist on taking the T across town. Once I’m on the subway car, though, surrounded by the stifling heat and the stench of body odor, I start to regret it.
He’s genuinely kind and thoughtful, if a bit heavy-handed with it. We can work on this.
Vanessa is waiting for me at the nail salon with Hailey MacGregor.
“Hey,” Van says, giving me a warm hug. “You know Hailey, right?”
“We met the other night.” I give the woman a brief hug and she returns it readily.
“Awesome. I’m trying to recruit more normal people to the club,” Van says.
My eyebrows go up. “The club?”
“Yeah. Attached to the players, but not necessarily part of the WAG lifestyle.”
“I love Melanie,” Hailey adds. “She’s just… a lot.”
“And a lot of the other girlfriends don’t like that I work for the team,” Van adds. “They think I should give up my job and flit around the city all day. Look, I love Sven, but even after we’re married, I’m still going to keep my job.”
I glance at her hand. There’s no ring there.
“We’re not in a rush.” She sounds defensive, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Hey, I get it,” I tell her. “I thought I was on the conveyor belt to marriage and babies until it suddenly collapsed. I get not wanting to rush into things.”
Sometimes I wish I’d forced the issue with Erik. If I’d given him an ultimatum, it would have been the end of things either way, because that’s not a basis for a healthy relationship. Who knows where I would have been if I’d walked away from him two years in, rather than spending six and a half years waiting on a “maybe soon.”
“Is that what you still want? Marriage and babies?” Hailey asks.
“I haven’t let myself think about it, honestly,” I tell her. “Jake isn’t?—”
Her eyebrows go up. “He isn’t what ?”
“I don’t know if he’s the kind of guy who wants marriage and babies.” I shrug. “Right now, we’re just having fun. I’m still getting over my ex. We’re keeping things casual.”
She looks me up and down, clearly not believing me. “He’s bringing you to the party tonight. He is not keeping things casual.”
I pause. “What does that mean?”
“He likes you. He really likes you,” Hailey says. Why does she sound upset? “If this is just a passing thing for you?—”
I have to ask. “Do you have feelings for Jake?”
There’s a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel vaguely sick.
To my surprise, Hailey laughs. “No. He’s like a brother to me. He hangs out with Aidan and Sven a lot, so I’d say I know him fairly well. He’s a goofy, kind-hearted, over-grown man child. But when he loves, he loves hard.”
“I want to love him,” I whisper. “It’s just… it’s too soon.”
“Is it, though?” Van cocks her head. “I thought it was too soon for me and Sven. He’s in this for the long haul, but he’s made it clear the timeline is up to me. Can’t it be the same for you and Jake?”
Biting my lip, I think it over.
“Does it have to end in marriage and babies?” Hailey asks. “Can you be happy if it ends up with you in a committed partnership without the ceremony?”
“I don’t want or need a ring or a fancy party,” I tell her. “I just want the commitment.”
She points at me. “Now all you have to do is talk to Jake. Make sure you’re on the same page.”
As if it’s that easy…
And when I get back to the apartment and find a black carrier bag from a designer boutique in it and pull out a gorgeous sequined dress in just my size… I think it might be.