Chapter 17
seventeen
. . .
Rachel
Snow falls steadily overnight. When I wake up to an email that school has been canceled due to yet another storm, I crawl back into bed and steal more of Jake’s body heat. He doesn’t mind.
We wake up for real a few hours later to the bleating of his alarm. He rolls over to turn it off, then nuzzles into me, still half-asleep. Lying in the comfort of his arms, I card my hand through his short hair.
How did I end up here? How did I go from not even thinking about him to being in a situationship with my ex’s younger brother?
Except that’s not quite true.
Jake is more than a high school ex’s brother. He’s a person in his own right, and the truth of the matter is, we probably have more in common than I ever did with Josh. Now that we’re adults, the slight age difference doesn’t bother me—not quite so much as it did a few weeks ago. We never would have worked before now. Good thing it happened when it did.
His hand on my hip grounds me, anchoring me. I’m not afraid of losing myself in him like I have in past relationships. I know who I am and what I want.
And what I want is Jake.
He releases me and stretches his impressively muscled arms. “I should get up. You have to get to campus.”
“Campus is closed today.” I burrow into his chest. “I don’t have to go in.”
He chuckles. “I bet I still have practice.”
Grabbing his phone, he flicks through it and makes a surprised noise.
“What?”
“No practice today.” He tosses his phone to the side. “We have a game tomorrow, but until then, I’ve got nothing but free time.”
“So… what do we do until then?” I prop myself up on my elbows, blinking innocently at him.
With a laugh, he lunges for me, tackling me back to the bed.
“You’re not going anywhere,” he teases, before he leans down and kisses me.
I wrap my arms around his shoulders, holding him to me.
“Good. I wasn’t planning on it.”
As he peppers my neck with kisses, I let myself relax and enjoy the moment.
There’s so much to figure out. So much to talk through. For now, I’m just going to enjoy it.
Later, after we’re sweaty and sated, we take a shower. He shampoos my hair and massages my back as he washes me, and I take extra care soaping him up and touching every inch of him that I can.
We curl up on his leather sofa in our sweatpants and t-shirts, my head on his chest. I’m a little worried about crushing him, but as he’s said repeatedly, he can handle it. I guess there are perks to having a hockey player boyfriend. His being able to throw my weight around is just one of them.
Threading his hand through my hair, he brings me close for a sweet kiss.
I clear my throat. “I think we should talk to Josh first.”
“He’s going to be pissed,” Jake says.
“I know.”
“He pretty much hates me,” he continues.
“He’s your brother. He doesn’t?—”
He shakes his head. “We don’t get along. He’s going to insinuate that this is me trying to get back at him for some perceived slight.”
“It’s not, though.” I know it in my bones. He cares about me. This isn’t a game.
With some of my exes, yeah, I might have second guessed things.
With him? I know where we stand.
“It’s not,” Jake agrees. “My feelings for you are entirely separate from him. But given how much of a dick he is on a normal day…”
“We can’t be afraid of him,” I tell him. “It doesn’t have to go over well. It probably won’t. He still deserves to know.”
He sighs. “We’ll tell him.”
I grab my phone, opening up my contacts.
“Wait, now?” he asks, staring at my phone like it’s a poisonous spider.
“Let’s get it over with.”
But as I scroll through my contacts, I don’t find Josh Lewis in there. I’ve had the same phone number since I was thirteen, all of my contacts are backed up to the cloud… and he’s not there.
“Huh.”
“What?” Jake presses a kiss to my temple.
“I must have deleted him from my phonebook.”
He chuckles. “Is that because he’s a worthless dickbag?”
Or maybe I just don’t care about him anymore.
Elbowing him, I reach for Jake’s phone, holding it up to his face to unlock the screen. He chuckles as I scroll through his phonebook.
There are three other Joshes in his address book, all with last names, and then there’s an all-lowercase josh entry. I click on it and, sure enough, it’s our old area code.
I click on a video call and the line rings. Once, twice, three times. Finally, on the fourth ring, it connects.
Josh’s face comes into view from below. He’s gotten older. Then again, we both have. He has a beard now and lines on his face.
“What do you want, asshole?” Josh snaps.
Jake takes the phone from me. “I wanted to talk to you.”
“Bullshit,” Josh says. “Pull the other one.”
“I did. I wanted to ask you a question.”
He rolls his eyes. “So ask it, already. I have to get back to work.”
Jake blows out a breath, and Josh pauses, looking up at the screen and doing a double-take.
“Wait. Are you with a chick? Why are you calling me ?”
Pulling on Jake’s arm, I tilt the camera until I’m in view, too.
“Hi, Josh.”
My high school boyfriend blinks a few times. “Rachel? Rachel Levine?”
I let out a nervous giggle. “Hi.”
Jake tightens his arm around me and brushes a kiss to my temple.
“What are you doing with him ?” His disbelief is clear to see.
“We’re together,” I tell him.
“I can see that,” Josh says evenly. “Why?”
“Because I love her,” Jake returns.
My stomach swoops, and I look up at him. He’s smiling down at me, his eyes bright.
“I love you,” he repeats.
“I love you, too,” I tell him.
He beams at me.
A gag makes me remember the video call.
“Gross,” Josh says.
“We wanted you to be the first to know,” Jake says. “I know you guys have history, but?—”
To my surprise, his brother laughs. “Dude, that was, like, fifteen years ago. That’s in the past.”
I swallow. “So you’re not upset?”
Josh shakes his head. “Seriously, Rach. You were great, but we were never going to work. We were kids. I’m happy you’ve found someone who makes you happy.” He pauses. “Even if he is a supreme dick.”
Jake flips him off.
Shaking my head, I let out a nervous laugh. “We’re inviting the parents up for Chanukah. Do… do you want to come?”
Josh pauses. “Yeah, I guess so,” he finally says. His lip curls. “It’ll be… fun.”
“It will be,” Jake says firmly. “If you wanted to bring your girlfriend…”
“We broke up,” Josh says shortly.
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well.” He shrugs. “I’ll come visit. Maybe Rach can set me up with one of her friends.”
I laugh. “Sure, bud.”
There’s a clang behind him. “Shit. Gotta go.” He pauses again. “I’m happy for you two. Really.”
And then the call disconnects.
I look up at Jake. “That went… better than expected.”
“I’m pleasantly surprised,” he agrees. He leans down and kisses me. “Now let’s hope the rest of our family is as supportive.”
“They will be.”
Jake smirks at me. “Oh? And how do you know?”
“Because they want us to be happy.”
He pinches my side. “And are you happy?”
Nodding, I nuzzle his neck. “Very.”
Jake tips my chin up, pressing the softest kiss to my lips.
“Good. Because you make me happy, too.”