Chapter 19
Noelle
Falling asleep knowing what he could do to me with only a few fingers and his tongue is not how I thought I would end my day. Honestly, I expected to go home, rot on the couch until Eve came home, and watch the snow fall until I fell asleep. But that?
I want more of that even if it means I never end up on Santa’s nice list again.
I fell asleep for a few hours but the recurring dream of what it would be like to have him completely for the first time in what might as well be forever is keeping me awake.
It’s quiet throughout the cabin with the expectation of the burning fire and the occasional cracks and pops coming from it.
Reaching for my phone, I check the time and see that it’s nearly one in the morning.
The snow is still drifting down from the sky, piling up outside in fresh heaps of powdery whiteness.
Tomorrow the town will sparkle and look brand new like it always does when it snows for the first time.
Rolling over on my side, I try my best to push the thought of him between my legs out of my brain but I can’t. It’s like my body has gotten a small taste and is now starving for the full meal.
What’s one time? The question pops into my head again.
I mean, technically, we didn’t go all the way.
Does oral count as having sex? Does a hot man from your past showing up ‘only for the holidays’ going down on you really count as sleeping with him?
I didn’t see him naked, so I feel like it doesn’t really count.
The desperate voice in my head tries to rationalize what I want and what my body is literally aching for.
I won’t regret it. What’s one time, really?
A little holiday fling with a definitive expiration date might be what I need before I take on the role of inn owner.
Maybe letting loose and having fun in this way is how Nick can support me as my fake husband.
And Grams said it herself, a woman needs help when running a business.
I’m pretty much doing what she told me to do.
Get married. Check.
Find a partner. Check.
Let them support me. Check.
It’s practically a no-brainer when I think about it like that. I’ll be fine if it’s only one time and not again. We’ll get a divorce post-Christmas, he’ll leave, and all will be well! Easy peasy.
I glance at the time on my phone once more before tip-toeing away from the couch.
I press my ear to his bedroom door and listen.
It sounds quiet which makes me think he’s asleep but I don’t really care.
I don’t think he will either; I could feel how badly he wanted me when we’re lying on the floor together.
Cracking his door open, the hinges squeak and I pause where I am.
Then it hits me that I want him to wake up anyway so it doesn’t matter if the sound wakes him up.
Slipping inside, I move through the darkness making my way to the bed.
I pull the comforter back enough and slip underneath it, sliding in next to him.
He stirs, taking a deep breath and squinting at me.
“Sugar?” His voice is raspy from sleep making it all the more sexier. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?”
Reaching for him, I find that he never put his shirt back on and is sleeping in only his briefs. My hands come to his torso, tracing the fine lines of his core that I remember from before.
“Cold hands,” he gasps when my fingers touch him for the first time.
He reaches over towards me and pulls me in, wrapping his arms around me in a bear hug.
I breathe him in, picking up distinct scents of pine, aftershave, and pencil shavings.
Makes sense for a man living on a Christmas tree farm who draws for a living.
“What’s wrong, sugar? Have a bad dream?”
My legs squeeze together at the sound of his voice. Smiling to myself, I tip my head up to look at him in the darkness.
“You said to come get you if I needed anything,” I remind him. I love the way his hands are pulling the bottom of the shirt he gave me to wear so he can reach my back. My skin ignites with a fresh heat when his fingers trail over my butt and up my spine.
“Whatever you need, wife, I’ll give it to you.”
God, why is him calling me that so damn sexy?
“I—” I lick my lips, suddenly feeling shy. “I need you, Nick. I need you to fuck me.”
When his hands pause on my back I worry that I’ve just done something so incredibly stupid and I won’t be able to look at him ever again out of pure mortification.
Then, he wraps his hands around my waist and rolls over onto his back, pulling me on top of him.
My hair falls to either side of our faces, encasing us in our own little world.
“Noelle,” he mutters hardly above a whisper.
“Yeah?”
“Did you just sneak into my bedroom in the middle of the night during a snowstorm and ask me to fuck you?”
My lips pull back into a sultry smile. One that he can’t see but gives me the confidence to answer honestly. “Yes.”
His hands start to work on removing my underwear once more, helping me shift my hips to one side so he can slide them off my legs.
“What a good little wife you are,” he groans before pulling me in by my neck and kissing me hard.
I press my hips down into his lap, feeling his cock grow as I do. Our lips crash together as he wakes up from sleep, working to come into full consciousness after I pretty much jumped him in the middle of the night. Reaching between us, I press my palm into his bulge, massaging him over his briefs.
“If you aren’t fucking careful, you’re going to make me finish before we even get started.” I only rub him harder, slipping my hand completely under the fabric and taking him in my hand. “Two can play that game, sugar.”
Using one of his hands, he slides it under my shirt and starts to play with my breast. He presses his lips to my throat, gently nipping at it, making me want him even more.
A small cry slips from the back of my throat when he lifts my shirt and pushes me up so my chest is closer to his face and he sucks on my nipple.
At the same time, his other hand has come to my center and is starting to play with me like he did before.
“There they are, those precious little noises you make. They’re like fucking music to my ears.”
I release another moan just for him. He forces me to one side of him long enough to slip out of his briefs and dispose of them on the floor. Forcing me on top of him once more, he pulls me down so I’m level with his lips.
“Now, there’s something I need you to know,” he says between breaths.
“What’s that?” My hips move in a circular motion on top of him, skin to skin, my body finally getting the friction it’s been needing for hours.
“I didn’t really think this would happen so I don’t really have anything to use, if you know what I mean.”
“I’ve got us covered,” I say, thanking my past self for getting an IUD.
“Are you sure?”
I take my hand and cover his mouth. “Would you just shut up and fuck me already?”
He pulls his mouth free of my hand to kiss me while he lines his hips up with mine.
Then, in one swift motion he presses himself inside of me.
I gasp at the sensation of him, loving how he feels like he was made specifically for me.
While we had sex before we broke up, it was nothing like this.
It was awkward and clumsy and in the moment the best thing to ever happen to me but this?
This is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
He moves his hips in such a way that carries me higher and higher.
As he kisses me, his hands explore my body like he’s discovering it for the first time.
He holds me close as we work to become one, making me feel needed and whole all at the same time.
The same way he’s always made me feel which is exactly why I fell in love with him in the first place.
“You’re still as perfect as I remember you,” he shudders as I feel him getting closer to the edge. I match his rhythm, lifting and lowering my hips in unison with his. “I love you, Noelle. Love the way you do that.”
I’m not sure if it was a slip or what, but I try my best to not focus too much on how those three words hit me square in the heart as he said them.
With his hands around my back, he takes the reins and fucks me harder.
The pressure of him rocking into me starts to build, causing me to cry out in the darkness.
It doesn’t take us long to be falling over the edge and getting lost in the pure bliss of one another.
I bring my lips to his shoulder, biting down into the soft fleshy area, and giggle when he shivers.
“You’re shaking.” I laugh.
He slides out of me, causing me to shiver too.
“So are you.”
For a moment, I do nothing but lie on top of him and wish that, even if for a day, we could stay like this.
That we could stay in this delusion that we really are married, really are meant to be, really are in love.
But as always, the logical side of my brain pipes up and reminds me that this is temporary, fake, and nothing more than a one time thing.
That he will be going back to Boston once the holidays are over and that I will be left behind in Evergreen once more.
Just like before.
“Here, let me get you something to clean up,” he says, kissing me on the cheek and guiding me off of him.
Standing from the bed, he walks towards the bathroom and comes back a moment later with a washcloth.
He flips on the lamp standing in the corner, washing the room in a warm glow.
Seeing his face for the first time, I can’t help but laugh.
“What are you laughing at?” He smirks, setting the washcloth down beside me and leaning in for a kiss. I give him what he wants before pushing him away with one hand.
“Nothing. This. Us.”
“I don’t think that was nothing and I loved this and us,” he replies, pressing his smile to my lips again, stealing another kiss. My hand comes to his cheek and holds him in place, trying to commit the feeling of his lips on mine to memory.
“So did I,” I say, biting back what I really want to say.
“Here, let me help you.” He pulls me closer to the edge of the bed and carefully separates my legs. Then, he uses the damp cloth to wipe away the remnants of what we did. “If you want to shower or anything you can. Bathroom’s all yours.”
“I’ll shower in the morning. I think I’d rather head to bed.”
Standing from the bed to leave, he catches me by the wrist.
“You’re not seriously going back to the couch? Not after what just happened?” He looks at me like he can’t believe the choice I’m about to make.
“I thought maybe you’d want the bed to yourself,” I reply with a shrug.
He points a finger to it and gives me a stern look. “Get in bed, wife.”
I screw my face up at him and try to look tough. “You know, you really shouldn’t call me that. Not with this only being a thing for a few more weeks.”
When I turn to crawl into bed he playfully smacks me on the butt.
“You’re the one who broke the rules, sugar. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. And that includes calling you my wife at every chance I get.”
Moving to turn off the lamp, he comes to bed once darkness has filled the room once more. I feel the bed give way to him as he crawls in next to me, reaching over and pulling me close. With an arm draped around me, he presses his lips to my forehead.
“Goodnight, Noelle. Thanks for coming and getting me when you needed me. Please feel free to do so as frequently as you need.”
I pinch him softly causing him to chuckle before kissing me on the forehead again.
“Goodnight, husband,” I joke even though I love calling him that. “Thanks for being there when I needed you.”
“I’ll always be here for you, Noelle. Always.” His voice is fading as he falls asleep once more. Tucked into his chest, I wonder how true his words might actually be this time.
Will he always be there for me? Because he’s made that promise before and it only led to me having my heart broken.