Chapter 29 #2
Her entire body went lax, except for her breath. She panted like she had run a marathon. This is where I usually ripped open my jeans and fucked my way to oblivion, but instead, I crawled up the couch, lifting her so she lay on my chest.
I did big slow circles on her back until her trembling body calmed. Her breath evened and slowed. Total post-orgasmic bliss .
Meanwhile, my cock was so rock hard, I wasn’t sure it’d ever go back to normal.
She lifted her head and her eyes danced. “My turn.”
“Your turn what?”
“I want to do that to you.”
Oh, thank fuck. “You sure?”
She pushed herself up. “You’re vibrating.”
“I’m turned on.”
“No, I mean something on you is vibrating.”
My phone. In my pocket. There was no way I would answer. I glanced at the face of my phone before tossing it on the coffee table. “It’s just my mom.”
She frowned. “You should answer.”
No way in hell. “I’ll call her tomorrow.”
“It’s almost midnight. Moms don’t call this late unless they really need to talk.”
Fuck me. She was right. I picked up the phone and hit redial.
“Mom?”
“Oh, thank goodness you answered,” my mom sounded panicked.
“What’s going on?”
“I’m at the airport.”
“What airport?”
“The Vancouver airport.”
I watched, distracted as Zoey pulled down her tank top. “What are you doing there?”
“Carole invited me to join her in Las Vegas. And I got a cheap flight from Vancouver to Vegas, but I needed a flight to Vancouver.”
“Uh huh.”
“And I got the dates mixed up. My flight to Vegas isn’t until tomorrow night.”
Now Zoey was pulling on her panties. “Wait, what?”
“I need to come and stay with you for one day.”
“You do?”
“Is that okay? ”
I rubbed my forehead with the back of my hand. Nothing like getting totally cockblocked by my mom. “Yeah, sure.”
“And I need you to come and pick me up.”
“Take a cab. I’ll pay for it when you get here.”
“Ryan Andrew Parker, I’m not wasting good money on a cab when you can come pick me up.”
I laughed, despite myself. “Okay. Give me 30 minutes.”
My mom was a flurry of activity, talking a hundred miles an hour. I half listened while trying to think of how to tell her about Zoey.
Finally, she caught her breath and asked me, “How are you?”
“There’s someone you will meet when we get to my place.”
“Oh,” she stopped. “A woman?”
“Yes.”
“Is she your girlfriend?”
“It’s complicated.”
“So it’s just a friend?”
“She lives with me.”
My mom’s face looked confused. “She’s your roommate?”
It didn’t sound right to call Zoey my roommate. I didn’t know what she was. “Sort of.”
“How did you meet?”
I didn’t want to get into all that. “It’s a long story.”
“Well, I can’t wait to meet her.”
“She’s kind of shy, so just go easy on her.”
“If she’s living with my son, I have the right to get to know her.”
“She was homeless.”
“Excuse me?”
I explained how we met and how she ended up living with me.
Mom sounded horrified. “Are you sleeping with her?”
“Mom!”
“Ryan, you have to admit this is very concerning from a mother’s perspective.”
“Just…you have to meet her.”
But when we got home, Zoey wasn’t around. She had put fresh sheets on the guest bed, stacked clean towels on the end of the bed, and had cleaned the guest bathroom.
“So where is she?”
I opened my bedroom door. Zoey was out cold. “She’s asleep.”
“In your bed?”
“I only have two beds, mom.”
“I guess I can meet her in the morning.”
I had an early practice and then a meeting with my personal trainer, so when I left the apartment, both my mom and Zoey were still asleep. How would their first meeting go? I ended up cutting my session short with my trainer, so I could get home.
It shouldn’t have, but it surprised me to find them in the kitchen cooking together. My mom had her arm around Zoey’s shoulder and spoke to her in a gentle tone.
“Exactly like that. You put a little twist on the end and it’s done.”
“What’s going on?” I dropped my bag at the door.
Zoey’s eyes shone. “Your mom’s teaching me how to make Butterhorns.”
My mouth watered. I loved my mom’s Butterhorns. “Wow.”
I sat down at the island and watched them work. Zoey remained engrossed in her task and my mom worked around her, cleaning up. They seemed comfortable with each other and totally in sync.
Zoey slid the pan into the oven and my mom set the timer.
“I should go work,” Zoey smiled shyly at my mom. “Thanks for baking with me.”
My mom squeezed her shoulders. “It was my pleasure. ”
I watched as Zoey disappeared into my bedroom and then turned to look at my mom.
“Well, you two seem to get along.”
“She’s absolutely lovely, Ryan,” my mom’s voice was soft.
I crossed my arms and nodded slowly. “I know.”
“I’d be proud if you dated someone like Zoey. She’s polite and gentle. Funny and intelligent. She told me all about how she grew up and her recent trials and yet now she has a job with your accountant and she told me about her dreams to become an accountant.”
“She’s come a long way.”
“And the way she talks about you, I can tell that she cares very deeply about you.”
I knew there was a “but” coming, and I didn’t want to hear it. “I have feelings for her too, mom.”
She wiped her hands on the tea towel. “Are you thinking of pursuing a relationship with her?”
I didn’t know what I was planning. “I don’t know. She’s become a huge part of my life.”
“You’re moving towards deepening your relationship with her.”
After last night, I couldn't deny it. I wanted Zoey in my life and in my bed. Every single night. “Yes.”
She sighed. “It won't work.”
“Excuse me?”
“If you want a romantic relationship with Zoey, it won’t work. Not right now.”
I could feel my entire body get hot. I never fought with my mom, but right now, I felt nothing but angry words bubbling up inside me. I worked to keep my tone neutral. “Okay. Care to explain that?”
She came around the island and sat down beside me. “Zoey needs to be on her own.”
“Not true. She’s been on her own her entire life.”
“What I mean is, if you sweep her up into your life and take care of her like you have been, the dynamic between you is always going to be uneven. The fact that you saved her will come between you. ”
“I did save her. That isn’t going to change.”
“She needs to save herself. She needs to thrive. Stand on her own two feet. She needs to understand that she can do so, without help from anyone. Then she will be an equal partner to you.”
“I’d never treat her as anything less than my equal.”
“I know that. But she will always feel that way. She needs to feel empowered. Find her own success. Get her own apartment. Earn her own money. So that she can feel whole. She has so much gratitude and hero worship for you, it won’t work.
She needs to stand on both feet if you want anything serious between you two to work out. ”
I wanted to stand up and howl. This was the exact reason I had fought so hard not to take things further with Zoey.
I had never been able to articulate it to myself, but somehow, I knew it wasn’t fair to cross those lines.
A line I had crossed last night. And now, in one short conversation, Mom summed up weeks of internal debate and hot temptation.
She explained me to me, in a way that no one else could.
I knew she was right. And it made me feel sick.
“What do you want, Ryan?” My mom stood up and wiped the counter.
That was a loaded question. “I don’t know.”
“Don’t pull that with me,” she chided. “If you don’t know what you want, you have no business sleeping in the same bed as Zoey.”
I wanted to live in Vancouver. I wanted to get along with my team. I wanted to take Zoey on trips during my time off and show her how big and wonderful this world was. I wanted to buy her things. And make her smile.
And I wanted to introduce Zoey to the wonders of sex. I wanted to give her orgasms in a hundred different ways. I wanted to fuck her into oblivion before I pulled her naked body against mine to keep her safe from the monsters in this world and her nightmares about those monsters.
I wanted to protect her from the Terrances of this world and use my money to buy her whatever her heart desired .
Which is exactly what my mom was talking about.
What I didn’t want was to push her out into the world. And I couldn’t imagine how lonely life would be without her in mine.
My voice sounded raw to my own ears. “I’m crazy about her, mom.”
There. I said it. The truth of the matter was out in front of me, and it didn’t help me one fucking bit. Because I knew it would only make everything else that much harder.
“Then give her what she needs, Ryan.”
“Tell me what that is.”
“She needs to be successfully independent.”
Except that. I didn’t want to hear that.
“What if she doesn’t want to come back?”
My mom’s smile was sad. “Then you need to be happy for her.”
“Do you think she will?”
“I think she will not feel confident leaving your side, so be gentle and encouraging.”