Chapter 26
twenty-six
Cameron
The past week has been way too damn quiet.
That’s partially because I’ve ignored every call that’s come through from my dad. I’m sure that means he’ll show up unannounced soon, but I’ll deal with that then.
But it’s also because Zhuri seems to have pulled back.
Outside of practice, I haven’t seen her since she left my place after breakfast.
I think I crossed a line, and it fucking sucks because I already miss my friend.
I’ll have to figure out how to make that up to her soon. Our Axis photoshoot is after practice on Friday, and I don’t want things to be awkward.
“Why are you so fucking slow today?” Bodhi asks, coming to a stop about twenty feet ahead of me on the trail in City Park.
“Fuck off, Bode,” I huff, picking up my pace to catch up to him.
We stop for the moment, and my brother’s face turns more serious. “Did you talk to Ivor again?”
I shake my head. “No. I’ve been ignoring him, actually.”
Bodhi tips his head to the side, looking at me curiously as he wipes sweat from his brow. “Then why do you seem like you’re in your head?”
Because I am.
“Don’t know,” I shrug, playing it off. “Just didn’t sleep well, I guess.”
“Why?”
Because I can’t get the one person who shouldn’t be there off my mind.
“No reason.”
I take the hat off my head, running a hand through my sweat-slicked hair, before flipping it backward. It’s shadier under the trees, so there isn’t much sun to block right now.
Bodhi hasn’t taken his eyes off me. “You’re being weird, Cam. Are you nervous about the team or something?”
I lean back against a tree, moving off the trail slightly. “No. I feel good about the team, honestly. Practices have been going well. I think we’ll look good when preseason starts in a couple months.”
“You and Zhuri still getting along?”
“Yeah,” I reply, trying to tamp down a smile. “We’re friends now, so we’re all good.”
“That’s good,” he hums, still looking at me like he doesn’t quite believe everything I’m telling him.
He’s right to do so, but I’m sure as hell not going to tell him that.
I close my eyes for a moment and don’t see the person jogging down the opposite end of the trail until they stop in front of us.
“Well, if it isn’t Cameron and his brother, the fetus.” Bodhi rolls his eyes while I laugh, smiling over at Zhuri. “You two out for a jog?”
I cock my eyebrow. “What gave it away?”
She huffs a laugh. “The athletic wear is pretty telling.”
“I’m not a fetus, you know.” Bodhi crosses his arms and stares at her, pretending like he’s actually offended.
“Sorry about Icy,” she says. “She never thinks before she speaks.”
“It’s fine,” he chuckles. “It was kinda nice to not hear about how cool it must have been to have Cameron Kovacic as a brother, so I’ll happily take the fetus comment over that.”
Zhuri looks over at me playfully, and that look still does things to me that it shouldn’t. “I’d never think that, Bodhi. Can’t be many worse things than having that one as a brother.”
“What the fuck?” I laugh. “I’m not that bad, Hart.”
She winks at me, and I smile like the goddamn fool that I am.
I’m becoming a fool for the one woman I can’t have.
Bodhi looks between us curiously but doesn’t say anything.
“You ready for the next photoshoot, Cam?” Zhuri asks, stepping a little closer to me.
“Probably won’t be as fun as the last one,” I shrug, “but it should still be good.”
“The last one was really fun, wasn’t it?” she smiles. “I know we all have to dress nicely before games, but I don’t often get to wear actual formalwear. It was fun to do that for a bit.”
I rub my thumb over my bottom lip, not peeling my eyes off Zhuri. “It was definitely fun. You looked good.”
She looks away from me and smiles. “Thank you. You didn’t look too bad yourself.”
“Oh, I know,” I smirk, clasping my hands together behind my head.
Zhuri rolls her eyes now. “Can’t you just take a compliment without ruining the moment?”
“No, he can’t,” Bodhi interjects, and I shove him lightly on the arm.
“Shut up, Bodhi.”
He throws his head back and laughs, and I roll my eyes.
“Well,” Zhuri says a little uncomfortably, almost like she doesn’t want to end this conversation any more than I do. “I should probably let you get back to your jog.”
“Right,” I reply, sheepishly rubbing the back of my neck, and I hear my brother snicker. “I’ll catch you at practice, though.”
She smiles at me. “I’ll see you then, Cammy.”
“See you tomorrow, Zhuri baby.”
She waves to Bodhi before she takes off down the trail again, and I keep my eyes on her the entire way, watching intently as the muscles in her legs flex with every movement.
Of course, Bodhi notices.
“Holy shit,” he laughs in disbelief. “That’s why you were in your head, isn’t it?”
“I have no idea what you mean,” I shrug, focusing on the really interesting tree bark in front of me rather than him.
“Oh, please. I might be younger than you, but I wasn’t born yesterday, Cam. I’m not naive.”
“Shut up,” I chide, starting to jog down the trail again as Bodhi laughs his ass off behind me.
When he catches up to me again, I look over to see the biggest shit-eating grin on his face.
I sigh. “What?”
“You like Zhuri.”
I stop jogging again, resting with my hands on my knees as I take a deep breath before I look at my brother again.
“I know.”
Bodhi’s eyes widen in surprise. “I thought you’d deny it.”
“Nope.” I let out a breath. “It’s pretty obvious, but it’s not like I can do anything about it.”
“This is… surprising.”
“Why?”
He shrugs. “I’ve just never seen you show interest in anyone. And you hated Zhuri until last month.”
“I know I did,” I sigh. “That was stupid because she’s actually really fucking awesome. I, uh, talked to her about my dad, and she was really supportive.”
“That’s awesome, Cam,” Bodhi smiles. He might be a shithead, but he’s still a good brother.
“Would be more awesome if I could do anything about it,” I grumble. “Being on the same team means it’s forbidden.”
He gives me a sad look. “Shit. Sorry, man.”
“Probably for the best. I should focus on hockey anyway.”
Bodhi rolls his eyes. “Okay, Ivor.”
“Fuck off. I’m not my dad just because I said I should focus on hockey.”
“No,” he sighs. “You think you should focus on hockey because he’s always in your goddamn head.”
I scoff and roll my eyes. “You’re still a fetus; you’re not supposed to be wise.”
“I’m twenty-fucking-two.”
“You’re barely an adult.”
“Deflect on me if you want, but you know I’m right.” Bodhi lets out a breath. “Don’t let him get in your head. Your life does not have to revolve around hockey.”
Realistically, I know it doesn’t, but that doesn’t mean I can just stop caring. I can’t switch my brain off from what I’ve always been told.
Hockey is your number one focus.
Nothing is more important than hockey.
Relationships get in the way of a successful hockey career.
I’m tired of listening to him. I want to be more than a hockey player.
That’s why I like being with Zhuri. She makes me feel like a person. It’s freeing to be acknowledged for more than what I’m capable of in a pair of skates.
If it’s all I can have, I’m happy to have her friendship.
That’s better than nothing.