Chapter 29
twenty-nine
Zhuri
Nia flops herself down on my sofa, mug of piping hot coffee in hand. “How are you feeling about the upcoming season, Z?”
“Pretty good,” I say, sliding in beside her. “The team has been looking great in practice. Preseason starts next month, and that will be our biggest tell.”
She looks at me warily now. “I looked at your schedule. I saw that you’re playing the Lasers during the preseason.”
“Yup,” I shrug. “I’m not worried about it.”
“Isn’t Jack on that team?”
“He is.” I take a sip of my own coffee. “I don’t care. We broke up a decade ago. Honestly, I can’t wait to kick his ass on the ice.”
Nia shakes her head. “I always hated Jack.”
“Yeah. You, Mom, Dad, and Ty, too. Hell, even Cameron hated him.”
“And in turn, you hated Cameron,” she teases, and I playfully swat her.
“I didn’t hate him because he hated Jack. I hated him because I believed all the shit Jack told me about him, and when he tried to hit on me the night we met, it all seemed to be true.”
My sister sits up now in excitement. “Cameron hit on you when you met?”
“Did I not tell you that?” I rub the back of my neck sheepishly. “Yeah, he did. He backed off as soon as he realized I was dating Jack.”
“Oh my God,” she laughs. “I’m not crazy.”
I look at her curiously. “What do you mean?”
Nia stares at me expectantly. “Come on, Z. You know.”
“What do I know?” I ask in exasperation.
“That Cameron has it bad for you, baby sister.”
I choke on my coffee, covering my mouth to keep from spraying it everywhere. “Cameron does not want me like that, Ni.”
“Keep telling yourself that,” she smirks, and I just sigh in response.
I know Cam has been flirting with me, but can he actually want me that way?
He isn’t how everyone thinks he is. I know he wants a real relationship with someone, but no one gives him the chance to get closer because of his reputation.
But does that mean he would want one with me?
It hasn’t even been two months since we became teammates, and we’re closer than I ever imagined we’d be. I talk to him every damn day, even when we aren’t at practice.
I like being with him.
Honestly, I think I just like him.
Fuck me.
A loud knock at my door startles us both. I set my mug down on the coffee table and walk over to open the door, surprised to find Cameron on the other side. He looks disheveled and upset, and I just know his dad said something to him again.
“Cam…”
“I’m sorry to just show up,” he says, voice unsteady. “I just… didn’t know where else to go.”
“It’s okay.” I step back and gesture for him to come inside. “Come on in.”
Cameron steps inside, and I can feel all the tension on him right now. He says he doesn’t know why he’s here, but I do. He needs someone to talk to.
He needs me.
Cam rakes a hand through his hair and stops when he notices we aren’t alone. “Oh, I didn’t realize you had someone over.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I wave him off. “Cam, this is my sister, Nia.”
He forces a small smile. “Nice to meet you, Nia. You’re Nova’s mom, right?”
“Yes,” she chuckles. “Girl still hasn’t stopped talking about how cool Cameron Kovacic is since you let her paint your nails.
” Nia stands up now and walks over to me.
“I’ll head out now. Thanks for the coffee, Z.
” She wraps her arms around me in a hug before letting go.
“Nice to finally meet you, Cameron. I’m sure I’ll see you around. ”
They wave at each other as my sister walks out the door, leaving us alone now.
“I’m sorry,” he says quickly. “I didn’t know your sister was here. I wouldn’t have come.”
“Cameron…” I say before stepping closer and wrapping my arms around him, knowing that he’s here because he needs comfort and understanding. “I’m glad you came over.”
He tries to swallow down his emotions, but I can still hear them in his voice. “Thank you, Z.”
I pull back from him and gesture over to the sofa. “Why don’t you have a seat? I’ll grab you a cup of coffee.”
“Got any whiskey for that?” he says, trying to make light of the situation.
“Self-medicating isn’t healthy,” I reply, popping back into the living room with his coffee and sitting down right beside him.
“Who says I’m self-medicating?”
I place my palm on top of his hand, and I have to ignore the sparks that fly around us. “You didn’t show up here looking like that for no reason. You’re here because you need someone to talk to, and I told you before to let me be that person.”
Cameron lets out a heavy breath. “Yeah…”
“Did you talk to your dad?”
He nods. “He showed up at my place this morning because I’ve been ignoring his calls.”
“What did he say?”
His eyes are glassy, and he tries to turn away so I can’t see. “That I’m a pathetic disappointment because I like this new league. That my mother made me soft. That I need to stop ignoring him because I have a career thanks to him.”
“No,” I state emphatically, moving my hand to his cheek and turning his face to meet mine.
“Every part of that is wrong. He’s the disappointment because he can’t see how great his son is.
Your mother taught you empathy, which is something the world is sorely lacking.
And you don’t owe him a goddamn thing. He thinks you owe him your career, but did you even ask for this?
Or did you play hockey because your dad pushed you to? ”
Cam closes his eyes. “Because of him. I don’t regret that now because I genuinely love it, but I started playing because he signed me up. I didn’t have a say.”
“Cameron, from the time you were a child, you’ve been doing what he pushed you to do. You haven’t had a say in your own life. You’re twenty-nine now, and he’s still trying to keep you under his thumb, but you don’t have to be there.”
“That’s where I’ve always been,” he says dejectedly. “I don’t know anything else.”
“That’s why you have me.” I give him a reassuring smile. “You deserve to live your life without his constant degradation and judgment. You’re your own person; you aren’t an extension of him, no matter what he thinks.”
“It doesn’t feel like that.”
“Because you’ve always been told that you are.” Even right now, his caramel eyes hold me prisoner. “You can’t turn off your feelings like a switch. Depression doesn’t work that way.”
“What if I’m not depressed?”
“You won’t know for sure unless you start therapy. I’m more than happy to be here when you need someone to talk to, but I’m not a professional. I can help you feel better for now, but a therapist can help you get to the root of the issue.”
Cameron sighs. “I guess I should look for a therapist.”
“I’ll help you. We’ll find someone who focuses on family trauma.”
“You’d… do that?” His words come out choked.
I smile at him. “Of course I would. I’m your friend; I want to help you. I want you to be your best self, and it’s okay if you need a little help to get there.”
Cameron leans forward and wraps his arms around me, and I melt into his embrace. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. Just take care of yourself. That’s all I want.”
When he pulls back, his eyes are glassy again, but he still forces a soft smile. “I will.”
Cameron and I spend the rest of the day together. We find him a therapist with great reviews, and because he’s a famous hockey player, he has no issue getting an appointment. He’ll have his first one next week.
Once that’s finished, it looks like a load has been taken off his shoulders. He’s lighter now, happier than he was when he got here.
We watch The Mighty Ducks again over takeout containers of Chinese, and I think this might be one of the best days I’ve had in a while.
I’ve spent it with my favorite person.
The pull between us feels even stronger now, and it’s getting harder to fight off.
I don’t know how much longer I can do it.