Chapter 46 Cameron
forty-six
Cameron
Therapy and medication have been a godsend for me this past month, but even that’s not enough to take me out of the darkness right now.
The darkness I created.
The darkness I put us in by not being able to keep my mouth shut to Jack.
Zhuri’s career is probably fucked because of my goddamn pride.
I’m spiraling.
How the hell do I get us out of this?
What do I do if she decides this is too much?
I don’t want to let her go. I can’t let her go.
But that’s not up to me, and after what I just did, I can’t see any reason why she’d want to stick around.
I may have been feeling better lately, but at the end of the day, I’m still no one. Even falling in love with someone can’t change that.
“Don’t beat yourself up, Cam,” Sid says, trying to calm me down.
When we left the hotel, we managed to rent a couple of cars before we started off toward the address Ty found for us. The girls jumped in one while the guys piled in the other. I’m grateful that Sidney is sitting beside me in the back so someone can try to talk me down.
“Pretty sure I deserve to beat myself up,” I huff. “I just fucked up Zhuri’s career.”
“What about yours?”
“Fuck mine,” I bite. “I don’t fucking matter. Z’s the only one I’m concerned about. She doesn’t deserve to be in this mess.”
“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?” Sid asks gently.
“Yeah, which means I fucked up the only good thing in my life by not being able to keep my goddamn mouth shut.” I pinch my fingers over the bridge of my nose.
“I’ve been so damn happy lately, but it can’t last. Nothing lasts.
Zhuri is going to think this is too much.
Why would she want to be with a man who told her fucking ex their secret because he was jealous hearing about them being together a decade ago? ”
Bodhi glances over at me from where he sits on the other side of Sidney, apparently eavesdropping. “I don’t think you have to worry about her leaving, Cam.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
Sidney gives me a small smile. “Because she’s not going anywhere. Icy is driving their car, so Bet’s been texting me. Zhuri’s worried right now, but mainly about how you’re handling this. She cares about you a lot, Cameron. Her biggest concern right now is that you’re okay.”
I throw my head back, trying to blink away the tears pricking the corners of my eyes. “I don’t fucking deserve her.”
Bodhi reaches across and puts a hand on my shoulder. “Yes, you do. Don’t let Ivor make you think you don’t deserve to be happy.”
Nico slaps his hand off the steering wheel. “Fuck Ivor.”
“What they said,” Wes states. “Don’t push Zhuri away because you think you can’t overcome this. You can. There’s a real chance that this doesn’t get past Jack at all.”
I let out a deep, unsteady breath. “I hope so.”
The rest of the ride is silent, but I feel a little lighter than before thanks to the guys.
I’m not sure I deserve them either.
Before long, we pull up to a long driveway and follow it down. We all park right outside the gate and walk over to the intercom. I grab Zhuri and wrap my arms around her before, though.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Z.”
She returns my hug, pulling me in even tighter. “I know you are, Cameron. I know you didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
“I didn’t,” I shake my head before resting my forehead against hers. “Just… please don’t give up on me.”
Zhuri places her hand on my cheek and gives me a light kiss. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise, baby. We’ll figure this out together.”
For the first time since breakfast, I smile. “I haven’t done anything in my life to deserve someone as incredible as you.”
“Yes, you have. You’re a good man. I wouldn’t be here right now if I didn’t think you deserved me.”
Isla grabs our attention. “Alright, lovebirds. As cute as this little display is, we’re here for a reason.”
“Right,” Zhuri says, walking over to the intercom and pressing the button.
It buzzes, and Jack answers after a few moments. “Why the hell is half the Comets roster at my gate right now?”
I find the camera and stare him down through it. “You know exactly why we’re here, Ledger.”
“No, I really fucking don’t. I’m busy icing my eye after what you did to it last night, Kovacic. I don’t really want to deal with you now.”
Zhuri takes my spot in front of the camera. “Jack, please. We wouldn’t be here without a good reason, and you know exactly what that reason is. Just let us in so we can talk.”
He doesn’t reply, but the sound of buzzing tells us he’s giving in. The gate opens for us, and we all walk up to the large front porch as Jack walks outside to meet us.
“Come back to give me a matching one?” he sneers, pointing at the black eye I gave him last night.
“I’d be more than fucking happy to do that after what you fucking did.”
Jack crosses his arms and eyes us. “Again, I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about.”
“Cut the shit,” Zhuri asserts, pulling out her phone and turning it around for Jack to see the picture he sent us last night. “We know you sent this.”
“What is that?” he asks, looking closer. “Why would I send you a picture where you’re just walking into a hotel room?”
“You sent the same one to me, dick.” I mirror his position and take delight in the fact that I’ve got a few inches on him.
“Can someone please fill me in on why the fuck I supposedly sent you a random picture, much less why I would send it to both of you?”
Zhuri looks at him cautiously now. “This has to be from you, Jack.”
“I don’t even fucking know what that is, Zhuri!” he yells, waving his arms wildly in frustration.
“It’s a picture of her coming into my hotel room!” I shout back, and suddenly it seems to dawn on him.
“Wait a second. You think I came to your hotel to snap a picture of my ex-girlfriend sneaking into your hotel room for… what? Because I hate you? Because you told me you’ve been fucking her?”
“Watch it,” Zhuri bites.
Jack rolls his eyes and lets out a breath. “Look, I honestly don’t give a shit if you two are hooking up. We broke up like ten years ago. I’m not that petty.”
“Really?” I say in disbelief. “You expect us to believe you’d just let that go when you know damn well it’s against our contracts? It’s against the league rules at that.”
“I don’t know what to fucking tell you,” he sighs. “I think the rule is stupid in all honesty. We’re grown adults. I think we can make our own decisions about who we want to sleep with.”
Zhuri watches him in confusion before she seems to have her own light bulb moment. “You’re sleeping with one of your teammates.”
Jack looks visibly uncomfortable. “Like I said, the rule is stupid.”
I let out a shaky breath. “Seems like we can all agree on that.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry someone seems to be blackmailing you, but it’s not me. Can’t really hold that over your head when I’m breaking the same damn rule.”
“So…” Zhuri looks at me, her voice shaky with worry. “Who did this, Cam?”
“I don’t know,” I admit, “but whoever it is didn’t find out from me. I only said something to Jack.”
“You want my opinion?” Jack asks.
“Why would I want your opinion?” I chastise.
“Because I’m trying to help you, dick. That picture literally just shows Zhuri walking into a hotel room. Even if they know it’s yours, you two are fucking co-captains and apparently friends. There are plenty of reasons she could have been in your room that aren’t against the rules.”
I look at the picture again and realize he’s right.
We could easily explain this away as just meeting up after the game. There isn’t anything there indicating she was coming over so we could be together.
“Maybe we just ignore this then, Cam,” Zhuri says, voice more confident now. “We’ll be more careful, but Jack’s right. There’s nothing actually incriminating in this picture.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “But since we don’t know who sent it, we have to be extremely cautious. It could have been anyone.”
“We’ll be careful,” she nods.
I feel like a weight has been lifted from me.
I didn’t fuck everything up.
I shouldn’t have said anything to Jack, but that isn’t what caused this.
I don’t know who has it out for us, but if I ever figure out who it is, I’ll take care of them myself.
They’d better fucking pray I never find them.