Chapter 35
Jake
It’s been over a week since I kissed Scarlett on her doorstep.
I honestly don’t know what got into me. She was just standing there, the same height as me for a change, backlit by the pathetic excuse for a porch light, and all I could think was how easy it would be to just scoot closer and kiss her.
We stood, practically toe to toe and then she started staring at my lips.
Next thing I know I’m kissing her, practically bowling her over on the steps to her porch.
When I pulled away and saw how shocked she was at the kiss, I panicked and just… left.
And there hasn’t been a moment since, that I haven’t thought of that kiss.
It’s Sunday afternoon and out of nowhere Amelia has decided that we need to start having Sunday dinners as a family. At my house. Where I provide the food, I cook the food, and I clean up after the meal. I mean how could I have said no to that?
The weather has been calm, the sun melting nearly all the snow from last week’s snowstorm and therefore Scarlett and I have had no reason to see each other, apart from the moments when we are outside doing chores at the same time.
Yesterday she left the cottage and came back with several boxes that she unloaded onto the ground in the backyard.
They looked awkward to unload and I really wanted to walk over and ask her if she needed help.
By the time I debated whether or not I was ready to handle interacting with the woman I just kissed but probably shouldn’t have kissed, she was done and the boxes were on the ground.
Standing in the kitchen, chopping vegetables for the side salads, my front door swings wide open.
Cami comes inside, in a rush saying, “Hey Uncle Jake…Bye Uncle Jake.” And off she goes into the back yard.
Obviously, in her week back to school she’s missed her time with Henrietta. I try not to take offense.
“Cami,” comes a voice behind her, “don’t just leave the door open.” Her voice fades as she enters the house and realizes that Cami is in fact, not inside anymore.
“You just missed her,” I say, continuing to chop veggies through the chaos.
“That girl would move in the barn with Henrietta if she could,” Amelia says, setting down some things on the dining room table before she moves to the sliding glass door that leads to the back yard.
“Pen,” I say as I lay the knife down and walk over next to Amelia by the door.
“What?”
“It’s a pen. A barn is enclosed, her shelter is called a pen,” it’s pretty hard to contain the corners of my mouth rising as Amelia rolls her eyes at me.
“You are infuriating.”
“This was your idea,” I say, no longer holding back my smirk.
“Oh, you’re going to punish me for wanting to have some family time. That’s great Jake,” she huffs and walks over to the table.
“Alright, I’m sorry. You can call it a barn.” As much as I love teasing my sister, it really isn’t wise to get her all riled up before she plans on spending an extended amount of time here.
“You know what, it’s fine. I just won’t share my bread with you,” she says, turning around holding an oddly shaped loaf of bread. I want to make fun of it but the look of sheer pride she has on her face stops me.
“You made bread?” I ask, stunned.
“Yeah,” she beams, “After you gave Cami that loaf from Scarlett we couldn’t get enough of it.
So I watched a bunch of tutorials and made a lot of shitty bread and I don’t know if this one will be quite as good as Scarlett’s but I think it’s close.
I’ve never had anything so delicious before.
I mean I know people have made cinnamon swirl bread but I’ve never had it. Hers was like a decadent dessert.”
“Cami’s had cinnamon in it?” When Amelia nods her head excitedly I sigh.
“I knew I should have just eaten hers too.” Amelia chuckles, setting down the bread on the table and moves to the door again.
Cami has let Henrietta out of her pen and is walking around her grassy area.
I see her mouth moving like she’s talking to the goat as if she’s a best friend and she needs to unload something to her.
Henrietta follows her along, keeping up with every word she says.
“How’s our girl?” I ask. Amelia gazes out the window with such a look of longing.
My younger sister is starting to look her age, if not older.
Crows' feet appear around her eyes as her face strains with a smile as she looks at her baby girl. I’m assuming working in medicine and raising a teenager will do that to you.
She lets out a heavy sigh, her shoulders sinking with the exhalation. “Well, no new trips to the principal’s office. No boys crying assault. But she's still not very open. I swear I think she’s talking more to Henrietta than she does to me.”
“Well, Henrietta’s always happy to lend a floppy ear,” I say shrugging.
Amelia whacks me on the shoulder and says, “You’re such an idiot, she needs to talk to a person. Not a goat.”
“Hey, first of all, that hurt. Second of all, how much did you talk to Dad when you were her age?”
She doesn’t even think about it before she responds, “Ew. Never.”
“See, and you turned out… okay I guess.” I elbow her in the ribs gently and she slaps my arm again.
“That’s different,” she protests.
“Is it? I mean, I remember thinking every adult was an idiot when I was fifteen. I know that you don’t see yourself like Dad, but unfortunately to Cami, you are.”
She harumphs and crosses her arms over her chest. “Alright, let’s talk about something less offensive. I heard the neighbor stayed over during the snowstorm.”
I bristle but try to play it cool. “Yeah, you know Blaine used to do that too. Every time the power would go out. That house doesn’t have any heat that doesn’t require electricity.
I tried for years to convince Blaine to put something in but every option I came up with was still too difficult for him to manage.
So when the power went out, he would come here. ”
“And…” she drags out the word and pauses. When I don’t offer information, she tries again. “How did it go?” She waggles her eyebrows up and down like this is the most interesting thing she’s ever asked me.
“It went fine,”
“Really? That’s it?”
“Yep,” I pop the p sound, enforcing the end of the word.
“Cami said it was amazing and that she woke up in the middle of the night to see you two being rather cozy.”
“It was not the middle of the night. We had a few drinks before we went to bed and we only talked. That’s it.
You’re looking for a story where there isn’t one,” I dismiss.
I know that Cami walked out of her room while we were having wine but I really didn’t think she saw anything. It was dark and she looked half asleep.
“Well, that’s not what Cami made it sound like.
Cami made it sound like Scarlett was perfect for you and that you should lock that shit down.
” Hearing this makes my palms begin to sweat.
I knew that I felt some sort of connection with Scarlett while she was here but I didn’t think Cami would have picked up on it.
Damn kid is smarter and more mature than I realize.
“You know, hearing you trying to sound cool reaffirms how much you really are like Dad.”
“I’m going to ignore that and tell you that she’s right.”
My head snaps to hers but she continues to look outside at Cami.
She looks enthralled and I follow her gaze to see Cami running backwards as Henrietta chases her, trying with all her might to nibble on the hem of her shirt.
Just barely I can hear Cami squeal like she used to when she was younger.
When I look back at my sister she has a sad sort of smile on her face.
“Don’t you want that one day?” she asks.
“Want what? The goat? The kid? I already have them,” I answer.
“I mean a kid of your own, you jackass,” she says playfully.
I look back outside and in an instant I see all of the stages of life that I’ve enjoyed with Cami.
From her terrifying infant days to the hilarious toddler days, her fun school age days and now the also terrifying teenage years.
I see the things I’ve experienced with her and a surprising ache blooms in my chest. I don’t know if I’ve ever truly wanted it until Amelia brought it up. Maybe I just didn’t let myself want it.
“I think you’re skipping a few steps.”
“Well, you’re going to skip all the steps if you don’t go after something for a change.”
I’m not sure why but this stings. If you don’t go after something for a change.
“Oh yeah, like you’re the golden standard for going after something,” I snap.
“Well excuse me for not having a hot neighbor just drop on my doorstep,” she says with a mocking tone. “The universe doesn’t just drop good, available men, at the hospital. Which is pretty much what would need to happen for me to find someone.”
“Alright, well, this has been a super fun conversation but you have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I know that Cami said that you were smiling. Like all weekend.” Her own smile is wicked as she stares me down. With a higher pitched voice she says, “Cami even said, and I quote, Uncle Jake, like, never smiles that much.”
“Christ, Amelia, I smile,” I say. Amelia raises her eyebrows at me pointedly and I force myself to relax my forehead and form a close to neutral expression.
“Wow, that looks painful Jake.” She laughs and walks over to the kitchen where she opens the oven to take a peek at the lasagna I’ve got baking in there. “Looks almost ready.”
Thankfully that ends the conversation about Scarlett.
Once the lasagna is ready we call a reluctant Cami back inside and sit around the table that’s covered in food and I hate to admit that this was a great idea.
Once we really get the conversation going Cami opens up a little bit about school and how things are going.
She is hesitant at first but eventually she tells us all about how Garrett has completely moved on but that she saw him making eyes at another girl, who she immediately pulled aside to warn her about him.
After the girls leave I feel a confusing mix of satisfied and empty.
I’m not sure that Amelia was right about wanting kids, but now I feel like this house is a little bit too empty when they leave.
If I think about it hard enough I can hear Scarlett’s laugh.
The one where she throws her head back and there’s not a self conscious bone in her body.
Just over a few short days that sound became like music to my ears and I can’t believe how easy it is to miss it.