I’LL JUST JUMP INTO IT AND HOPE YOU WON’T MAUL MY FACE OFF
29
Prudence : Ikram said he’s proud of us for being rigorous and responsible human beings.
Nate : He should be.
Nate : We were very thorough.
Nate : Putting sunscreen on you is my new favorite activity.
Prudence : Is that another random feeling of the day?
Nate : Look at us, first day and we’re already nailing it.
Prudence : I’m not sure how.
Prudence : I still disliked you yesterday morning.
Prudence : And this morning but for different reasons.
Nate : Do you dislike me now?
Prudence : I’m convinced you’re some kind of wizard.
Prudence : And I’m… Really confused.
Nate : What’s confusing you?
Prudence : It feels like it’s… Going too fast? But it still feels natural at the same time.
Nate : Well, I’ve been thinking about this for nearly ten years, so I might be a few steps ahead of you.
Nate : But I understand. If I made you uncomfortable this afternoon or if I overstepped, I’m sorry.
Prudence : That’s the thing. You didn’t.
Prudence : I was perfectly comfortable.
Prudence : It felt… Easy.
Nate : Let’s not talk about all this by text, because there’s so much I want to say and ask, and I want to look at your face when I do.
Nate : But hold all those thoughts, and go on a date with me.
Nate : Tuesday night? I have a consult at the precinct, we can go from there.
NATE
“If you look one more time at your phone, I’m going to start believing I’m annoying you,” Jack mumbles from the armchair facing mine, lifting his beer bottle to his mouth.
I stash my phone in my pocket with a grunt. “Sorry. I’m just—waiting for a text. It’s rude, I’m… sorry.”
His face softens then, and the annoyed look in his eyes is replaced by concern. Great . Should have kept my mouth shut.
“Something wrong?”
“No, no. It’s… Good, I think. Complicated. But, forget about it. We’re here to talk about your issues.”
“No issues,” he says with a shrug and soft smile. “Ikram and I actually got to talk a lot at the beach. I’m… I think I’m going to spend a couple of nights at his place next week.”
My eyes widen in surprise.
“That’s a… Big step.”
“It is. But it feels right, you know? He feels right.”
Oh yeah, I know. If I wasn’t so scared to spook Prudence, I’d take her away for a few days too. Because I know, deep in my bones, that she’s the one for me.
But she’s not ready. Not yet. So I’ll take her on a date. At least, if she actually answers my text about said date…
“I told him my concerns about… Sex,” He continues a little hesitantly. “And, that it might not go as wanted or just be difficult.”
“I’m pretty sure Ikram told you exactly how it doesn’t matter to him.”
“In a way, yes,” Jack concedes. “He said there’s always a way. If something doesn’t work how we want it too, then we’ll try something else. And if nothing does, then we’ll just—”
“See how it goes?”
“Yeah. He told me what happened to him in high school. Said you knew about it too.”
I give him a terse nod. “I do. And that’s why I’m pretty confident he’ll never get upset or pressure you about it.”
Ikram and I have been friends since we started working together, shortly after Evie and him arrived here. He’d recommended my services to some patients he took care of, and I did the same. Ikram was kind. Too kind. Too trusting, despite the shit he had to deal with when he was in high school.
Abusive and toxic relationships don’t happen only to straight people.
“I’m—I don’t know how he can still… If that happened to me, I would have closed myself off. I couldn’t trust another guy.”
“Yeah,” I sigh. “But even though Prudence would have been there for you, Ikram has parents who are not absolute pieces of trash.”
Awesome parents, actually. I wouldn’t have expected that from a very religious family. But here they are, loving their children unconditionally. And, I think what happened with his ex is what changed things around for his parents. He was heartbroken, and a shell of himself. No matter how they felt about him being gay, they got him through therapy for what had happened until eventually, they all pressed actual charges against the guy.
“Yeah, he told me about them.”
“I have absolutely no doubt that they’ll love you.”
“I can only hope,” he smiles.
I take a swig of my beer, the silence stretching a little. Now would be the time to talk to him, wouldn’t it? But what if he freaks out? I can’t have a repeat of what happened back then if Nuri’s wrong about all this.
But I don’t think Prue will be able to move forward if she thinks there might be any chance that it could damage my relationship with Jack.
“Jack?” I ask, fumbling with the sticker on the bottle. “I—I have to talk to you about something.”
He leans forward, one of his brow arched, until his elbows are resting on his thighs.
“I’m listening,” he nods, setting his bottle on the coffee table between us.
I’m leaning against the back of my chair, eyes focused on the paper that I’m pulling away from the glass. My heart is beating a little too fast for comfort.
“I’m… Uh, I—There’s not really a good way to talk about this, so I’ll just jump into it and hope you won’t maul my face off.” I chuckle dryly. “You weren’t entirely wrong back then. I mean you were wrong about a lot of things, but I was indeed attracted to your sister.” To put it lightly . “I still am.”
I lift my eyes from my beer to search his face for a reaction. Something that could tell me anything about the way he feels about what I just said. But his eyes are not revealing anything. Just staring at me. Waiting.
“I didn’t help her with any hidden motives though, and I think it’s important you know that I wasn’t planning to act on it without talking to you first. Which I really tried to do for a few months, but I was a coward and I kept thinking I could do it later. Until it was too late, and then you assumed the worst.
“But I’m—She… From the moment you introduced us, I just felt like she was it, you know? I don’t know why, she just felt right. When you mentioned she was joining you here, I thought that after all that time, it would have passed. It hasn’t.”
He gives me a few slow nods, his green eyes boring into mine. But he’s still silent. It’s hard to swallow through the knot in my throat.
“As I told her, I’m done fighting against it,” I add with a long sigh.
His eyes widen then. “You told her?”
“Yeah… We talked. What’s important is, I’d like to take her on a date soon. And I don’t want to fuck this up like I did back in college. So I’m telling you.”
He nods again, frowning slightly.
“Because I really like her. And I really hope you weren’t just pretending to be okay with the idea, because I’m going to go for it either way, if she wants to.”
I need to stop talking. Admitting that I don’t even care if I have his approval doesn’t sound good right now. But I need to tell him the truth. That I like her, that I want to see this through, whether or not he’s okay with it.
I’m choosing to believe Nuri when she said he’d get over it.
Hopefully she’s right.
“Damn, you actually did it,” he finally says, leaning back in his chair. “Nuri and I had a bet going on. I thought it would take you a couple more weeks… She said you’d do it before she leaves.”
That minx.
“You knew?”
“I figured it out,” he says, but winces slightly. “With some pointers.”
“Nuri?”
“Evie.”
“What?” I almost rear back in surprise.
“Yeah. Apparently you talk when you’re drunk.”
Mortifying. Absolutely, mortifying. Evie knew? And Ikram? I don’t remember…
“You do realize that I’m the only disabled roommate you had in college? With a sister?”
I slap my hands on my face with a groan. Looks like drunk me is no better than drunk Prue.
“If it makes you feel any better, I wouldn’t have figured it out on my own. As clueless as my sister.”
I huff a laugh.
“But yeah… I wasn’t pretending. I mean, I’ll always look out for her, but I can’t—get in the way, you know? Things changed. I want her to be happy, and that wont happen if I keep pushing people away from her. From us .”
We stare at each other for a minute in silence.
“Don’t tell her I’ve talked to you, yet.” I tell him.
“Why not?”
“I don’t want her to feel pressured about it. I told you because I wanted you to know how I feel. She might not be ready to do the same.”
He thinks about it for a minute before nodding. “Yeah, okay. But as her big brother, I feel like I should at least threaten you…”
One of my brows lifts in surprise and a smirk pulls at my lips.
“Sure. Go ahead.”
He grins. “If you break her heart in any way, my best friend will kick your ass. Oh no, wait, that doesn’t work here, does it?”
A loud laugh escapes my throat, releasing all the anxiety I’ve been building up since I decided to talk to him.
“No, she’s a big girl. She didn’t need me to go after Jerkwood or the two other pricks. She’ll maul you herself.”
And if I ever cause her pain again, I’ll gladly let her.