TERRIFIED
35
2 Missed calls from Jack
Jack : Tham just called me.
Jack : Call me back.
Jack : Please.
PRUDENCE
I don’t have a second to think about what I asked—or the way I asked it—that I’m suddenly on my back, Nate’s soft lips moving against my own and a whimper escaping my throat.
Has the earth stopped spinning? Because it definitely feels like we’re free falling through time and space. Am I being dramatic? Maybe. But right now, I’m wondering how I was able to breathe before knowing what Nate’s lips tasted like.
It’s that good.
I catch his bottom lip between my teeth and he groans, his hips pressing forward and his thigh almost grinding between my legs.
Oh .
“You need to behave, sweetness,” he rasps when I release him, “or I’ll be too busy to answer the door when the food gets here.”
He kisses me again. A slower, more wandering kiss, while his hand slides up from my folded knee to my thigh, my hip, my waist. Slowly, but with a firmer touch than before, leaving goosebumps and tingles in its wake.
“Or we could just skip food,” I muse between his soft kisses.
He chuckles against my lips and I whine, trying to lift my hips against his thigh but he pins them against the blanket.
“Who are you and what have you done to the shy and oblivious Prudence I know?”
“She’s gone on a vacation. You get clingy and needy Prudence now.”
He lets out a low moan when I slide my fingers in his hair, pulling softly on the soft strands.
“Fuck,” he rasps, “you’re trouble.”
“I’m not.” I gasp when his lips and tongue find my neck then licks down my collarbone. “You just have to learn to like us both.”
“I don’t need to learn anything,” he counters, nipping at the thin skin and my back arches from the delicious shiver. “I already like every side of you.” He slides his hand from my waist to my back, down and down to grab a handful of my butt. “This ass is a wonderful bonus.”
I giggle uncontrollably. Alright, ticklish there too…
“I don’t like my ass,” I admit with a sigh. “It’s not proportionate to the rest of my—”
“It’s perfect,” he cuts me off. “ You’re perfect. This indecent wasp figure? Fuck, it’s been haunting my dreams.”
“Wasp?” I ask, confused.
He lifts his head from my neck and hovers over me, eyes searching mine. I already miss his lips on mine.
“Yeah. I don’t—I don’t have a type, usually. I’ve been attracted to curvy girls, skinny girls, or athletic girls, but… I don’t think you realize just how attractive you are. Like a mix of all of those. These thick runner thighs. These wide hips and perfect squeezable ass. This defined narrow waist. These gorgeous perky breasts… The amount of time I’ve been thinking about them since the shower incident is outrageous.” He shakes his head, releasing a shaky sigh. “And that’s just about your body. Don’t get me started on your silky hair, soft skin, multicolored eyes, and lips that just beg to be kissed.”
My lips part in confusion. I don’t see myself in the way he’s describing me. That woman he’s talking about? That’s not me.
“I’m not—”
He shuts me up with a kiss. I’m not even mad, it’s the new best way to make me quiet.
I get lost in the taste of him. The feel of him. Of his soft lips moving against my own. His tongue slowly stroking mine. The warmth of his breath, short and panting.
I’m ready to throw his phone away when I feel it buzzing in his pocket and he groans in frustration.
“I should take that,” he says between kisses.
“No.”
“It might be our food…”
“Hm, hm,” I mumble against his lips.
He chuckles and manages to detangle himself from me. I sigh, letting my head and arms drop back against the blanket in frustration. He sits back on his hunches to get the phone out of his pocket and I quickly sit up to crawl towards him. The second he goes to answer, I straddle his thighs, burying my face in his neck.
God , this delicious smell.
“Hello?” He says, before gasping when I kiss the spot where his neck meets his shoulder. “Okay, I’ll be— fuck”
His whole body tenses and shudders when I nibble at his earlobe, and I can feel the bulge pressing against the front of his jeans twitch against my core.
“Yeah sorry, I’m alright. Just—bumped my toe. I can—” He exhales roughly when my hands slide under his tee-shirt to meet the soft smooth skin of his abs. He sits up, grabbing my ass with his free hand to keep me flush against him. “Do you see the box next to the door?” He asks, his voice strained, as he moves his legs to sit back down more comfortably. “Yeah, it’s a fridge for deliveries. Leave the bag in here. Code is— ah… 0579. Awesome, thank you.”
He hangs up and drops the phone on the blanket next to him, both of his hands now on my backside, his hips tilting forward to grind his trapped length against my core.
“How is the food already here?” I moan before kissing him again. “You’ve ordered like ten minutes ago.”
“More like forty-five…”
My eyes widen but he cuts any retort I might have had with a hungry kiss, devouring me.
No way. There’s no way we talked for that long. How long have we been making out like teenagers?
Oh my god, the camera !
I rear back as my gaze snaps towards it and I feel my face burning. It’s still here. Oh no, no, no… What if it took pictures of us kissing and—
“Stop worrying, we’re outside of the angle,” he says, nibbling at my jaw. “But if it makes you feel too uncomfortable, I can turn it off.”
“No it’s just—I forgot it was there.”
“Well, I’m glad to know that I have your whole focus.”
I reach for the bottom of his shirt, my lips finding his again, determined to rip it off his body if needed, but he stops me, grabbing my hand with his.
My eyes snap open and I freeze.
What the hell am I doing? Yeah, I’ve been wanting to kiss him for a while. But this is Nate . What if I’m reading this all wrong? What if he gets bored with me like he did with every girl in college? What if once he has me, and he gets to actually know me and how boring I am, he doesn’t like me as much anymore? What—
“Random feeling?” He asks, his breaths labored, pulling me out of my spiraling mind. His eyes are closed and he’s biting his lips, a slight blush coloring his cheeks. “I’m absolutely terrified.”
Terrified? What—
“Don’t start freaking out about something being wrong with you,” he says quickly, squeezing my ass. “I’m terrified to screw up. We have to stop right now, because if you lift your hips just one more time, I’m gonna make a fool of myself,” he sighs, burying his face in my neck. “ That’s how much I like you. I feel out of control. I’m this close to coming in my damned jeans like a fourteen year old at a strip club, and we were only kissing .”
Oh. Oh…
“And I don’t want to rush this. I want to enjoy every step, every moment. I need you to be sure about me, because if you regret it afterwards, it’s going to wreck me. Because I’m all in. Because the second I get to really have you, I’m not letting you get away again.”
Speechless wouldn’t be the right word, but I can’t form any. Can barely think any, to answer what he said.
He finally lifts his head from my neck to look at me, his deep blue eyes almost shimmering in the evening orange light passing through the window, illuminating his face and the space.
“So I’m… I really want this— us , to work. You, to be sure. That’s another reason why we need to hold back. Why I haven’t kissed you before today. I don’t want to be something you regret. Someone you forget, or—”
“Oh my god, stop talking,” I say hurriedly. “Stop. Just—please, stop.”
I see his throat work as he nods once, his head dropping between us in defeat. I grab his face between my hands to lift it back up so he can’t look away.
“ I am terrified,” I say softly. “Because you’re the one who made me think there was something wrong with me, while being the only man who ever told me that I looked beautiful. I know you never meant to hurt me and I’m not mad anymore. We’ve started over, and I’m scared. Because now, you’re real. You’re not just a fantasy in my head. And when someone becomes real, they can hurt you. I’m scared you’ll be bored of me. That you’ll realize that you’ve wasted time thinking about me, because the real me is not a fantasy anymore, and you’ll be disappointed.”
“Prue,” he starts, shaking his head softly.
“I’m scared of what’s real, Nate,” I interrupt him again, holding his head so he stops shaking it to look at me. “I mean, I spend my free time storytelling and making stuff up in drawings from things I see. Because reality sucks, and it’s scary. But I’m trying. And I really want this to work too. For the first time in ages, reality feels scary, but good. I’m scared enough for the both of us, so I need you to be my rock here. It’s getting better, but I’ll always be insecure. I’ll always doubt myself and people around me. And now, I’m placing my trust in you, so please, please Nate, I need you to trust me too.”
I lean to rest my forehead against his, closing my eyes and breathing deeply.
“I trust you,” he whispers, circling my waist with his arms, holding me tight against him. “And there’s no way I’ll ever be bored of you.”
I smile, rubbing my nose against his.
“Are you going to stop me again if I kiss you?” I ask.
“Not if you kiss me,” he sighs. “But I’ll have to at some point, if my control snaps again.”
I slide my hands from his cheeks to the back of his head, grazing his scalp softly, brushing my lips against his without truly kissing him.
“Even if I tell you I won’t be regretting it? That I’m sure?”
He groans, and his hold loosens around me before I feel his hands grabbing my hips.
“Unfortunately, yes. I… don’t have protection.”
“You didn’t…”
“No. I didn’t want to assume. And I don’t usually have sex here.”
I pout, frustrated, but also weirdly relieved that I’m not in some sort of bachelor pad where he brings all his hook ups.
“Fine…” I concede, still dropping a couple of featherlight kisses on his lips, and unable to help the arching of my back when his hands tighten on my hips, pushing me down against him.
My core throbs in need and I can’t help the slight rocking of my hips to relieve some of the tension.
“Prue…” He half sighs half moans against my lips.
“Yeah, I know,” I say between kisses. “No sex. Got it.”
“ Fuck ,” he rasps as I rock against him again.
My underwear is soaked, and I’m too aroused to even feel self conscious that it might have soaked through even the playsuit and stained his jeans.
My head falls back with a whispered moan when his grasp tightens on my hips and ass, pushing me harder against his hard length.
“You’re killing me,” he whispers against my throat, lifting me up just to press me down against him again.
My breath hitches in my throat when his lips move further down, kissing the swell of my breasts, and I start to rock harder against him, grinding, trying to rub the rising need, the ache building.
“Nate…,” I say, my voice between a plea and a whimper.
He moans against my skin, the deep sound almost sending me over the edge. “I’m really trying to hold back, sweetness, but if we don’t stop in the next thirty seconds… Fuck , I really hope I still have a change of clothes stashed somewhere.”
Knowing that he’s as close as I am makes me grind harder, chasing an orgasm that usually takes me ages to reach.
“Prue,” His voice is labored, almost tortured.
“I’m so close Nate,” I breathe, circling his neck with my arms, sliding my fingers in his soft hair. “Please…” I beg, trying to hold his gaze with my hazy eyes.
And I could swear that his darken a couple of shades.
“I thought you were just—”
“ Please ,” I gasp, feeling my cheeks warm, the thin hairs rising on my nape and arms. “So, so close, please make me come.”
He murmurs a curse and shifts his hips to meet mine, thrusting back against my center, lining his length perfectly so every thrusts hit just the right spot.
My eyes roll in the back of my head and my lips part open. I can feel the muscles of my legs locking up and my core clenching.
“I’m going to—Fuck, Prue I’m gonna come—”
My whole body locks as his hips stutters, a deep guttural moan escaping his throat, and my vision blurs as he helps me ride the waves of one of the strongest orgasms of my life. My head feels like a firework is erupting behind my eyes, pleasure pulsing through me, and when my legs start shaking, I collapse on top of him.
I’m not sure how long it takes for me to finally get back on earth. But I guess I understand the expression “seeing stars” now.
A satisfied sigh escapes me and Nate chuckles, his broad chest rumbling under my cheek. My whole body feels over-sensitive and I shiver under his soft touch on my arms, shoulders, and back.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been dry humped to orgasm before,” he muses and it’s my turn to stifle a laugh. “You should let me get changed… I’m, uh—sticky.”
I lift my head from his chest to look at him. His hair is a mess from my hand running through it, and there’s a satisfied grin on his face. So I don’t stand up. Instead, I just move up his body to kiss him again. It’s softer now, more patient, exploring, tentative.
“I don’t think I’ve came that hard,” I muse back, smiling against his lips.
“It makes me regret that I wasn’t inside of you, feeling it,” he purrs, rolling so I’m on my back and he’s hovering above me. “Next time I’ll be ready. From now on, if you find condoms in random places don’t be surprised.”
I giggle and he kisses me one more time before standing up, the evidence of what happened clearly visible on the front of his pants. At least, we can’t say what I stained from what he did.
Turns out he did have some spare clothes in the small bathroom next to the front door. And by some, I mean just one. A pair of black sweatpants. Without underwear.
That vision makes me want to do sinful things to him.
Again.
“These empanadas are so good,” I moan.
“Told you,” he says, his piercing eyes boring into me.
I grab my phone, previously retrieved from my purse and check the messages.
“Oh, fuck…”
Nate frowns. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s uh—Jack and I need to talk,” I sigh.
“About what?”
I pause and he takes a bite from an empanada, waiting patiently for me to elaborate.
Which I do. Telling him everything from our mother and Tham trying to reach me Saturday afternoon to my conversation with Tham on Sunday.
“You think he might be telling the truth? That him and your siblings didn’t know?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. Tham was kind of manipulative when we were kids. I don’t know if I can trust him.”
He nods slowly, his eyes lost in front of him and hands playing distractedly with the empty container.
“But he did call Jack, which he said he was going to do,” I say leaning back to rest on my elbows. “Now I don’t know what to expect.”
“He won’t be mad,” Nate says confidently. “The worst case scenario is that he’ll ask to go. And we’ll all have to follow.”
I turn my head to look at the window where the sun has set, leaving just a small line of orange on the horizon. I didn’t notice how high on the hills the building was, and the view of the whole city and the sea a little farther.
And I wonder if Jack is sitting on our deck with Ikram, looking at the sunset and thinking about what to do.
“If we all go, it’s going to be a mess,” I state.
“Why?” He asks, moving to sit next to me, our shoulders flushed together.
“Because our parents are so homophobic that they erased Jack from their life and he’ll go with Ikram. Because we’re going to be stuck in that toxic environment for a few days and I’m not sure any of us will come back unscathed. Because you and I, it’s—it’s new and I don’t want them to somehow poison it.”
He slides his arm around my waist, pulling me against him and I let my head fall on his shoulder.
“They can’t,” Nate shakes his head. “I know I won’t let anything they say get to me. Ikram won’t either. If we all have to go, then we will. And if we have time we’ll go on more dates. Hopefully those times, we won’t keep our clothes on”
I giggle when his nose nuzzles softly in my neck.
He’s right. It’s probably what Jack will want. Go there, and have the chance to talk to them one last time. Maybe talk to our siblings too. But we’ll all be together, and it will be fine. Because Jack and I will have each other. Because we’ll have Ikram and Nate. And Evie will probably follow because she’s a control freak but also a good friend who will need to make sure that Jack is taken care of.
Because now we’re not alone.