Chapter 18 – Ainsleigh
eighteen
AINSLEIGH
“You okay?” Aspen asked as she shut the door and sat on my bed, and allowed me to pace my bedroom.
“I’m worried that my parents are going to read too much into me in his clothes.”
“I get what you’re saying, but your family just wants you to be happy.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“What do you mean?”
“What’s wrong with me? I know we can’t be together, but I see him and every part of me falls back into how we were.” I flopped back onto the bed and let out a groan.
“He’s a man in love with you,” Aspen stated as her cheeks turned a bright shade of red.
“Yeah, yeah. I don’t think so. He should hate me. Not love me.”
I turned my head and stared at her, waiting for her rebuttal.
“I know. I just don’t think we are each other’s happy ever after anymore.”
“What makes you think that?”
“I broke his heart. I don’t deserve for him to love me again,” I confessed as I blinked back tears.
“You deserve all the happiness in the world, my dear friend.” I loved her optimism, but I didn’t believe her.
“I kissed him last night,” I confessed, needing to tell someone, and I knew she’d help me figure out what to do next.
“You did what?” she shrieked, as she clapped her hands and bounced on the bed.
I relayed everything that had happened last night and asked her what I should do.
“You should see where it goes. You love him, Ainsleigh. It’s written all over your face.”
I do love him. Could Aspen be right? Should I see where it could go with Gentry? Could I forge my own path here after all?
“I told him we could only be friends,” I told her as I worried my hands together, not sure if I regretted those words or not.
“I think that’s a mistake. While I understand your hesitation, when I see him look at you, I can tell how much he loves you still.
” She waited a beat before she finally asked the question that plagued her.
“Do you think Dylan would ever feel the same way about me?” Aspen whispered as she fidgeted with her hands.
I turned and looked at her, but she wouldn’t meet my eyes. She picked at her fingernails, her telltale sign she was nervous.
“Before I answer that, does it really matter? Crap, that didn’t come out right. What I mean is how do you feel about him?”
It would break Dylan’s heart if she didn’t have feelings for him or if she only saw him as a friend. Which was why I was sworn to secrecy after he’d accidentally told me how he felt about her.
“I never thought he’d feel that way about me. I’ve always kept him in the friend zone because I didn’t want to get hurt, ya know?”
“What does that mean?”
“I’ve loved him since our freshman year in high school. I’ve always wanted more from him, but I didn’t want to ruin what we had, especially after we all agreed to move in together.”
Holy crap. I was giddy inside that they felt the same way about each other. No two people deserved happiness more than they did.
“What are you goin’ to do about it? You goin’ to tell him how you feel, or make him sweat?”
“Make him sweat it out a little.” She laughed and stood up from the bed.
“But first, I’m going to put on that bikini that I packed so we can go to the pool.”
She pulled me up from the bed so I’d get ready too.
“You have ten minutes to get ready or I’m pushing you in that pool clothes and all.” She laughed as she left my room to go change.
Hurriedly, I changed into a pink bikini that I’d pulled from my suitcase. I was finishing rubbing in the makeup to cover my tattoo just as she rushed back into my room.
“What if I wasn’t dressed?” I joked as I picked up a pair of sunglasses off the bookshelf beside my desk.
“Your ten minutes were up. I didn’t care if you were dressed or not. Now, come on, bestie, so we can go make our men sweat.”
“He’s not my man. We were supposed to be working on Operation Divert Gentry. What happened to that?”
“You went and kissed him. That’s what. Plus, he’s totally smitten for you after all these years. Why not see where it could go?” she asked as she pulled me down the stairs behind her.
History. That was what kept me from wanting to see where this went.
The harm was breaking his heart along with mine.
I didn’t say those thoughts aloud. If I did, I’d have to explain everything, and I wasn’t ready to go there yet.
Even after all these years, my throat felt like it was closing when I went to explain everything.
So, I did the only thing I knew how. I bottled up the pain and buried it deep down, only letting it out on the day of her death.
I was scared. Plain and simple.
Gentry caused emotions I didn’t want to face to come back to the forefront of my mind.
Plus, if we didn’t work out this time, I would hate myself even more than I already did for breaking his heart a second time.
We made it to the bottom of the stairs just in time to see my brothers, Gentry, and Dylan go out of the back doors that led to the deck.
I put the sunglasses over my eyes to mask the emotion I was feeling and followed Aspen out into the Texas heat.
The smell of sunscreen hit me as I walked across the concrete over to where the lounge chairs were.
We didn’t have any trees to help shade the area, but my mom made sure that we had enough umbrellas on this side of the pool to help with the scorching sun.
The guys were rolling out the last umbrella when I sat on the furthest chair from them.
Aspen followed my lead and sat in the chair beside mine.
“You goin’ over there to ask for the sunscreen, or am I?” She laughed as she turned to face me.
Since she was my guest, I should be the one to walk over there, so that was just what I did.
“Hey, Leo, toss me a bottle of sunscreen and two towels,” I shouted as I walked toward them.
Leo tossed me the bottles, and I walked over to the lounger where Aspen sat.
“Spray my back for me?” I asked as I turned around.
We finished spraying each other with sunscreen, and I sat back on the chair and got comfortable. I just wanted to enjoy the sun and relax.
Minutes passed before I heard Aspen chuckle beside me. I wouldn’t have thought anything of it, but a shadow covered me, blocking the sun. Just as I was about to open my eyes to see who it was, I was lifted off the chair and whoever grabbed me took off running.
“Don’t you dare,” I screamed just as we went airborne. I took a deep breath just before my body hit the cold water and went under.
I allowed my body to sink to the bottom before I pushed off the pool floor and made my way to the surface.
Whoever did that was going to pay.
I wiped off my face and turned in the direction of the laughter.
I should’ve known it was Leo.
“Leo, you’re gonna pay for that.”
“Since when did you get all mad for being thrown in the pool? You come back from Virginia worried you’re gonna mess up your hair or somethin’?” Leo laughed at his own joke, and my other brothers chimed in.
“It’s all in good fun, sis. Take a joke and loosen up. You should’ve known one of us was gonna do it,” Brooks said as he took a sip from his water bottle.
Yeah, I should’ve known. But I was hoping my pissed off vibe would keep them away a little longer.
“Just remember what goes around comes around,” I warned as I swam over to the edge of the pool and hoisted myself up on the side.
Gentry being the gentleman that I remembered stood beside me and helped me stand.
I was squeezing my hair out when I heard him laugh.
Just as I looked into his green eyes, he pushed me back into the pool.
“Gentry,” I screamed just as I hit the water.
This time I waited until they’d all walked away from the side of the pool before I got out. I just wanted to chat with my best friend and enjoy the sun. These men needed to understand that.
I went over to the outdoor fridge and poured Aspen and me a glass of sweet tea. I walked over, and flopped down on the lounger beside Aspen who was trying her best to look mad for me, but I could see how bad she wanted to laugh.
“You can let it out, ya know. I know you want to laugh at their antics,” I told her as I put my sunglasses over my eyes and laid back enjoying the rays of sunshine beating down on me.
“I’m sorry, but they are just too hilarious,” she said as she held in the laugh that begged to escape.
I pursed my lips and crossed my arms over my chest. They were annoying, was what they were.
“You didn’t tell me Gentry had Bella’s name tattooed on his chest. That’s so sweet,” she said with a sigh. Looking over at her, she had her hand on her chest as she glanced in Gentry’s direction.
“I wasn’t expecting that, but the minute I saw it, my heart swelled and broke at the same time,” I admitted in a whisper as to not have the guys hear me and dampen the mood.
We sat in silence for a beat before Aspen suddenly turned her head toward me. I looked over at her and waited for her to say whatever was on her mind.
“And why didn’t you tell me how hot your brothers were? Sheesh. Way to keep secrets.” She laughed as she fanned herself with her hand, while looking over where all the guys stood trying to push each other in the pool.
“Um, they’re my brothers. That’s just gross. Plus, you have no idea what those idiots put me through when I was younger,” I told her as I reached over and grabbed my cup of sweet tea, taking a refreshing sip.
“I’d have loved to have this growing up. I didn’t have any siblings, and it sucked. The four of you clearly love each other, even if they drive you crazy.”
She had a point. I did love them, even if I wanted to strangle them half the time. I’d die for them, and I knew they felt the same about me.
“Can you do me a favor? Can you not bring up anything about Kyle? Everyone knows we broke up, but they all think it’s because I moved back home. I don’t want them to know what he did.”
I knew she’d keep this secret; I just didn’t want it to slip.
“Absolutely. Plus, saying his name gives me hives.”