Chapter 23 – Ainsleigh #3
I covered Gentry with a blanket, before I carried our plates and popcorn bowl into the kitchen.
As I walked into the kitchen, I found my dad sitting at the counter.
“Hi, Daddy,” I said as I walked over to the sink and quickly washed the few dishes we’d used.
“How were your movies?” he asked as I finished drying the last dish.
“They were good. It was nice to just be for the day after this morning,” I confessed as I walked over and leaned into the counter beside him.
“How are you holding up today?”
He remembered.
“I’m hanging in there. I went to her gravesite this morning.
Holden showed up and we had a nice long talk.
It was hard being there, but I needed to go.
Having him there when I didn’t know I needed him or anyone for that matter, was exactly what I needed at that very moment.
I have a lot of making up to do for leaving.
I only thought about my pain when I left.
Not anyone else’s. I should’ve considered y’all’s pain too, but I didn’t. ”
I held back tears as I waited for my daddy to respond.
He stood from his seat, and pulled me into his arms.
That was when I broke for the umpteenth today.
My daddy held me as I cried. I almost fell to the floor several times, but he held me upright as I poured out more tears than I thought I had.
“You don’t need to apologize to me, baby girl. While it hurt not having you here, your mother and I understood. We still do. We’re just happy to have you home, no matter how long you’re here for.”
I pulled back and wiped my face, trying to get myself together.
“About that. I need to talk to you about my plans. Can we talk tomorrow in your office?”
“Absolutely. Just come by after your morning chores, and we can have that chat,” he said as he kissed the top of my head again and smiled down at me.
“I love you, sweetheart,” my dad said before he walked away.
With a sigh, I decided I wanted some fresh air. I made my way through the house out the front door, gently closing it behind me.
I walked over to the porch swing and sat down, wrapping my arms around my legs as I rocked back and forth.
I stared off into the distance and tried to clear my mind.
The front door creaked, breaking my attention, and I looked over to see my mom with two cups in her hand.
She sat beside me and handed me the steaming cup of tea.
“It’s chamomile. I figured you’d need something to calm your nerves and help you sleep.”
She always knew what I needed when I didn’t even know.
“Thanks, Mama,” I said with a smile as I blew on the hot liquid before taking a careful sip.
“Anytime, baby girl. Your friends are lovely. I’m glad you found them while you were in college.”
“They found me actually, and never let go.” I giggled thinking about that fateful day at orientation.
“They’re good people. I’m glad you had someone you got close with.”
“Me too,” I said as I turned to face my mama. I gave her a questioning look, as I waited for her to say what she was holding back.
“How’re you holding up today?” she asked after a few bated breaths.
“I’m hanging in there. But, Mama, I don’t want you to tiptoe about talking about Arabella anymore.
I know I asked y’all not to mention her or Gentry, but I’ve realized that hurt me more than helped me.
It’s hard to talk about her, and I’m going back to therapy once I find a good therapist. But I need you and everyone else to just talk about her and not fear my reaction.
It’s going to help me even if it’s hard. ”
“That makes my mama heart so happy. I just want you to be happy, Ainsleigh. I’d rather you find your happiness at home with your family, but even if that’s not the case, as long as you’re happy, I’ll support any decision that you make.”
“Thank you, Mama. That means the world to me. I realized something today. I’m staying in Texas. I’m ready to claim my place on this ranch. I need and want to be around my family,” I admitted.
Talking with my mama always soothed me growing up. I didn’t know why my grief took me away from feeling like I could talk with her, but sitting here on this porch swing made me so happy we could talk this way again, get everything out in the open, and handle anything that came our way.
I turned and looked at my mom to gauge her reaction to my news. She had a huge smile on her face, and she clapped her hands before she pulled me into her arms and told me how happy I’d just made her by deciding to stay in my home state.
By the time we finished our tea, I felt more relaxed.
“Thank you for this talk, Mama,” I said as we both stood from the swing.
“Anytime, sweetheart,” she said before we made our way into the house. We walked into the kitchen and sat our mugs in the sink.
“I’ll see you in the morning. Sweet dreams,” my mama said before she kissed the side of my head.
“Night, Mama,” I told her before I walked in the direction of the den.
I walked just inside the entryway, and leaned into the doorframe. Gentry still laid there sleeping peacefully. I almost didn’t want to wake him, but I knew he’d want to sleep in his own bed.
I walked over and stood beside the couch for a beat before I leaned over and shook his shoulder.
“Gentry,” I whispered, as I tried to coax him awake.
It took a few tries, but he finally stirred.
“You fell asleep,” I told him, as he looked up at me sleepily.
“I’m sorry I fell asleep on you,” he said as he stretched before he stood. He caught the blanket before it hit the ground, and threw it over the back of the couch.
“It’s okay. You were comfortable,” I said with a yawn. The affects of the chamomile tea kicking in.
Gentry linked our fingers together, lifting our hands, he kissed the back of mine, before he started walking in the direction of the back door.
We stopped as we got to the double doors, and he turned to face me.
“Thank you for today. It was just what I needed,” he said as he put his hands on my hips and pulled me toward him.
I wrapped my arms around his back and pulled him in for a hug, relishing in the feeling of being in his arms.
“It was just what I needed too,” I admitted as I pulled back to look up at him.
“Goodnight, butterfly,” he said as he kissed my forehead.
I held back a shiver at his sweet gesture.
“Goodnight, cowboy,” I said before I stepped out of his embrace.
He paused for a moment, before he turned and walked out the back door taking my heart with him.