Chapter 60
— Chapter 60 —
The last time I was here was the night I took Aubrey to Jam’s Yashiro program. I’d made a game out of picking up Aubrey at her house. When we had plans, I’d drive up the driveway and honk three times and she’d run out the door with all the supplies she needed for our adventure. She thought it was great fun, and it meant that I had not seen Charlie since that night I woke up shivering in my car in the post office parking lot with bruises on my neck and blood in my underwear.
But when we got home from the concert, Aubrey was so exhausted that I had to carry her into the house. Charlie’s car wasn’t in the open garage and I could hear Steena watching television in her bedroom. So I brought Aubrey right upstairs, tucked her into bed, still in her fancy dress, red lipstick smeared across her little face. When we’d gone to the bathroom after the show, we were using our “tea talk” voices. Aubrey decided that fancy British ladies always wear red lipstick, so she needed some, and she wanted me to fix mine because it had mostly worn off. “Tea ladies are perfect,” she’d said. “All the time. In their faces.” And I knew that she didn’t mean to be funny, so I tried not laugh.
After I smoothed Aubrey’s blankets, I kissed her forehead, turned off the light, switched on her Glo Worm doll, and tiptoed back downstairs. On my way out of the house, I caught sight of myself in the mirror by the front door. Aubrey’s lipstick was all over my blue sweater. I got in my car, but then I decided I should probably use the stain spray in Steena’s laundry room before the lipstick set. It was my only nice sweater and the coast was clear. But when I came out of the laundry room, Charlie was standing in the garage, blocking my way.
“Haven’t seen you in a long time, little sister,” he said. In the dim light, his eyes looked dark and alien.
I tried to walk past him.
He grabbed my arm and pulled me close. “You didn’t tell anyone, did you?” He said it in a calm, happy voice like we were having a chat, but his grip was much less friendly.
I stared at him, frozen. The stain spray was stinging my shoulder through the sweater. I could feel my heart beating in my neck.
“You’re pretty wild when you’re drunk,” he said, smiling.
I had a flash of clarity, the distinct sense that Charlie was trying to rewrite what had happened, because he knew culpability would keep me quiet. But it fucked with my head anyway. I had been drunk and irresponsible. I had been sitting at that bar thinking about rebound sex and Charlie looking down my shirt. The rest of my memories were a jumble of disconnected pieces. Maybe in the blank spaces I said and did and promised things I couldn’t remember.
“We always seem to end up here, don’t we?” Charlie said, pulling me even closer.
Steena only heard us because it was the first time I fought back. I pushed Charlie and he lost his balance, knocking over Aubrey’s bike.
But he was wearing my lipstick. And of course, she didn’t believe me.
“You’re such a train wreck,” she said. “You’re such fucking trash.”
“He’s been doing this since I was a kid, Steena,” I said, pleading with her.
She laughed. “Why would he care about you? Why would anyone care about you? I don’t.”
She slammed the door in my face, then realized Charlie was still on the other side. He stared at me, slack-jawed, my stupid lipstick all over his mouth.
Steena opened the door again and he loped into the laundry room like a scolded kid, slamming the door behind him, to show that he was mad at me too.
They didn’t have to say it. I knew Steena wouldn’t let me see Aubrey anymore.