Chapter 11
The blue glow from Code's monitors snuck in under the door of my bedroom. I checked my phone. One in the morning. He'd been at this for fourteen hours straight, ever since he'd set up his equipment.
Enough.
I threw back the covers and padded barefoot across the cold floor. He sat hunched over his keyboard, fingers flying with mechanical precision. Three empty coffee cups formed a fortress around his workspace. An empty coffee pot sat beside him, the glass stained brown from too many brewed pots.
I crossed to the middle of the room and folded my arms. "This is ridiculous."
His fingers paused mid-keystroke, but he didn't look up.
"You're not going to be any good to anyone if you collapse."
"I know my capabilities." His voice came out rough, worn thin by exhaustion.
I moved closer, standing over him until he had no choice but to acknowledge my presence. His eyes were bloodshot, rimmed with dark circles that spoke of too many sleepless nights chasing digital ghosts.
"I know what exhaustion looks like, Code.
I've been on sets where we filmed for twenty hours straight.
I've watched people push themselves until they made mistakes that cost productions tens of thousands of dollars.
" I leaned against the table. "I still have fourteen days before I have to drop out of the movie.
You've already made good progress. You need sleep. "
His jaw tightened. Those light green eyes held mine with an intensity that made my breath catch.
"Katherine, I appreciate the concern, but I can't stop. Not when we're this close."
"Close to what? Burning yourself out?" My face burned. Who did he think he was, some kind of machine that didn't need rest? "What happens when you're too exhausted to see the pattern? When you miss something crucial because your brain is running on fumes?"
Code pushed back from the table. The chair scraped against the floor. He stood, and suddenly the space between us felt charged with electricity.
"You think I don't know when to stop?"
"I think you're stubborn and protective and you've convinced yourself that sleep is optional." My hands went to my hips. "But it's not. Even superheroes need to rest."
Something flickered across his face. His lips twitched.
"Superheroes? Really?" He raised an eyebrow. "This from the woman who played Natasha Blade? Didn't you jump off a twelve-story building in that movie?"
"That was a stunt double."
"And the scene where you took out six armed guards with nothing but a fire extinguisher?"
"Also a stunt double."
"The motorcycle chase through downtown Tokyo?"
"Okay, that one was me." I couldn't help the grin. "But I had a helmet."
"So what you're telling me is that Natasha Blade, defender of the innocent, scourge of international criminals, is actually a fraud who lets other people do the dangerous stuff?"
"I'm telling you that even Natasha Blade had the sense to know she can't do everything." I poked his chest. "Unlike some stubborn cyber warriors I could mention."
Code caught my finger. Held it. We stood there, breathing hard from the argument, neither willing to back down first.
The teasing light in his eyes shifted to something else. Something warmer that made my pulse hammer in my throat.
"Maybe I just need to step away from work for a while." His voice dropped lower. "Focus on something else."
My heart stuttered. "Something else?"
"Yeah." He tugged me closer by the finger he still held captive. "Something that doesn't involve staring at screens."
His free hand came up to cup my jaw. Warm, calloused fingers slid against my skin. I should have pulled back. Should have reminded him that we were in the middle of a crisis and this was a terrible idea.
Instead, I leaned into his touch.
"Code..."
His mouth covered mine.
The kiss started gentle. Tentative, like he was giving me the chance to pull away. But I'd been thinking about this for days. Ever since that almost-kiss in the office. Ever since he'd looked at me like I was Katherine, not Kit Lord the brand.
I pressed closer, fingers threading through his hair. He made a low sound in his throat, one hand sliding to the small of my back while the other cradled my face. The kiss deepened. His beard scraped against my skin in the best possible way.
My back hit the wall. I didn't remember moving, but suddenly Code's body pressed against mine, solid and real and exactly what I needed. His hands framed my face, thumbs stroking my cheekbones while his mouth did things that made rational thought impossible.
I lifted his t-shirt, my fingers finding warm skin beneath. He sucked in a breath.
Then he pulled away.
Not far. Just enough that air came between us. His forehead rested against mine, both of us breathing hard.
"What are we doing?" His voice was rough, wrecked.
I liked that sound.
"We're kissing." I tried to pull him back.
"Katherine." He caught my wrists, gentle but firm. "You're stressed. Vulnerable. I'm taking advantage."
The words hit like cold water. I jerked my hands free.
"Excuse me?"
"This isn't the right time. You're dealing with a crisis and I'm supposed to be protecting you, not..."
"Not what?" My voice rose. "Not treating me like an adult who can make her own decisions? Not trusting that I know my own damn mind?"
Code's eyes widened.
"I've spent fifteen years in Hollywood having people make decisions for me.
My agent decides what roles I try out for.
My publicist decides what I say in interviews.
My business manager decides how I spend my money.
" Each word came out sharper than the last. "The one thing I get to control is my personal life.
Who I kiss. Who I want. When I want him. "
"I didn't mean to imply..."
"You absolutely did." I poked his chest again. Hard. "You decided I was too fragile to handle this. Too weak to know what I want. Well, newsflash, Code. I'm not some damsel who needs protecting from her own feelings."
"That's not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean? Because from where I'm standing, it sounds like you think I'm so broken by this situation that I can't possibly know my own heart."
He caught my finger mid-poke, holding it against his chest. His heart hammered beneath my touch, fast and erratic.
"I don't want to be something you regret." His voice dropped. "When this is over. When you're back in LA." He pulled back slightly. "I don't want to be your biggest regret."
The words deflated some of my anger. But not all of it.
"You don't get to decide what I'll regret."
"No. But I can try not to give you reasons to."
We stood there, neither of us willing to back down. The tension between us felt like a living thing, coiled and ready to strike.
"You know what your problem is?" I pulled my hand free. "You think you're being noble. Protecting me from myself. But really you're just scared."
His jaw tightened. "I'm not scared."
"You're terrified. I bet you've spent twenty years keeping everyone at arm's length because caring about people is dangerous.
Even with Jase there's a distance, and he lets it all hang out.
Same with Angelica. You pull back. I can't decide if it's because you're afraid you'll end up hurting them, or they'll end up hurting you.
" I stepped closer. "And now you've found someone who sees through all your walls, and that scares the hell out of you. "
The silence stretched between us. Code's expression had gone carefully blank. The soldier's mask.
"You're right." The admission came out quiet. "I'm sorry."
My remaining anger faded. Not because he'd apologized, but because I saw the truth in his eyes. He was scared. We both were. Two people who'd been burned by life, circling each other, wanting connection but terrified of the cost.
"I'm not fragile." My voice softened. "I'm scared, yes. But being scared doesn't make me incapable of wanting things. Wanting you."
Something raw and unguarded flickered across his face before he locked it down again.
"I know." His thumb traced my jaw. "But that doesn't change the fact that you deserve better than some burnout who doesn't know who he is without the Army telling him what to do."
"Maybe you should let me decide what I deserve."
My lips still tingled where his beard had scraped. My hands shook as I stepped back, putting some much-needed space between us before I did something stupid like kiss him again.
Six days ago I didn't know Code Drakos existed. Now I couldn't imagine not having him in my life. The thought terrified me.
"You know what? I'm going to get us some bourbon." I headed for the kitchenette. "And then you're going to rest, even if I have to knock you unconscious to make it happen."
"Katherine..."
"Don't 'Katherine' me. You need sleep and I need a drink. We're both going to get what we need."
I found the bottle I'd stashed in the cabinet when we'd first arrived. Good Kentucky bourbon, the kind Dad used to drink. Two glasses. No ice. We weren't civilized enough for ice.
Code had moved to the couch. He sat with his elbows on his knees, head in his hands. Exhaustion carved lines around his eyes, made his shoulders slump.
I poured two generous shots and handed him one.
"Drink."
He looked at the glass, then at me.
"I don't think alcohol is the answer here."
"It's not an answer. It's a temporary solution." I clinked my glass against his. "To not overthinking everything."
The bourbon burned going down. Smooth fire that settled in my chest and spread warmth through my veins.
Code drank his in one swallow. Set the empty glass on the coffee table with a soft click.
"Better?" I asked.
"Not really."
"Good. Because I'm not done with you yet." I liked the look of trepidation on his face. Served him right. I grabbed the throw blanket from the armchair and a pillow from my bedroom. Code watched me approach with wary eyes.
"What are you doing?"
"Taking care of you." I shoved the pillow at his chest. "Lie down."
"Katherine..."
"Lie. Down."