Chapter 18
eighteen
I don’t answer.
Not the first time he calls or even the second.
I sit on the kitchen island, staring at my phone, not knowing what to do.
This morning, after I unraveled on top of Luke, I felt like a part of myself that had been hidden for so long had finally been freed.
I was able to embrace my sexual side without feeling shy or awkward about it. In control while also being guided by Luke.
The moment I came, my brain chemistry altered in real time.
And after my shower, instead of coming up with a million reasons why I should apologize and never do that again, I was tracking down Luke to make sure he was okay…
and to feel out the situation and see if we could have a lot more mornings like those, but with a little less clothing.
And when my literal wet dream came to life right before my eyes, I realized I was still a bit in over my head, but I didn’t run like I usually would have.
That is, until the one person I’d been hoping yet dreading to hear from finally decided to call me.
And I get it. I don’t have much of a leg to stand on here.
I left him at the altar. I should have come to my conclusions about our relationship much sooner and expressed those feelings in a far more appropriate manner.
But we’re here now, and in true Daisy Stonehaven fashion, right when I get a taste of something good, something I think I might deserve, here comes the person who had way too much control over my daily life, all for the sake of his image.
Control I should have never given up in the first place.
I bounce back and forth between the guilt of my own wrongdoings and wanting to make everything right again for everyone else. Attempting to figure out if there is a way to allow myself a moment to seek my own happiness without being a selfish and terrible person.
“What do you want to do, Daisy?” Luke asks as he places a glass of water next to me, fully clothed now.
My circular thinking halts at his nearness. He’s not within reach, and a part of me wishes he were.
But if I know Luke like I think I do, then I know he’s giving me the space to figure my shit out. Because as much as he likes to pretend that he’s a growly grump, the man is a total teddy bear under it all and is putting my needs and feelings before his own.
My phone rings again, and this time, I reach for it.
“I’ll give you some privacy. I’ll be outside.” He lightly squeezes my knee as he walks past, and I almost call out for him to stay.
Then I realize there’s nothing stopping me from doing just that.
“Luke?”
He turns, eyes raking over my face intently.
I ignore the constant ringing from my phone. Damien can call me a fourth time for all I care.
“Would you—”
He’s already making his way back to me, pulling out a stool and sitting between my swinging legs. After the morning we had, one would think there would be a sexual undertone to our closeness, but Luke’s unwavering silent support is all I can focus on.
“I’ll stay.”
I nod. “Thank you.”
“You’re not weak. Nothing he says can break you. Remember that.” He places my right hand in his, and I revel at the comforting contact only he seems to provide.
I release the breath that was caught deep in my chest, pick up my phone with my free hand, and answer.
“Damien, hi.”
Silence greets me for a moment before a dry chuckle vibrates through the phone. “Daisy Stonehaven, as she lives and breathes.”
I feel Luke’s hand tense in mine, so I know that he can hear Damien even though the phone is pressed against my ear.
I clear my head and focus on my main priority. Apologizing and moving on. “Damien, look. I’m sorry for how—”
“Save the apology for the cameras, Daisy. You were supposed to be here yesterday. I had a crew waiting on standby for our first sit-down interview after our wedding made national news.” The sound of him loudly crunching on something, probably pistachios, makes me think I’m mishearing him, because he’s not making sense.
“Thank you for the bump in the polls, by the way. The picture of me looking like a heartbroken jilted groom has done wonders for the female demographic between the ages of thirty-five and fifty-five.”
My face scrunches up in confusion. “What are you talking about? Cameras? Did—did you not see the note I left on the mirror?” Oh God, does he still think—
He snorts. “Ah yes, we all saw your little arts and crafts presentation. But I’ll have to ask that you keep the theatrics to acting when the interviewer asks about why you got overwhelmed about the grand production of our wedding.
And don’t forget to mention that you also asked me to consider a more intimate affair the morning of the wedding.
We need to make it clear that you never set foot into the church, and since no one saw you in your big white dress, it shouldn’t be a hard sell.
We need my male voters to not see me as weak, so you’ll clarify that you didn’t technically leave me at the altar.
Instead, you were waiting for me at home to have a private service first, followed by the big party.
” I’m stunned by his words, only able to hear the beehive of activity around him.
He must be surrounded by his entire campaign team.
“I don’t—I don’t understand, Damien. I broke up with you. I’m sorry for the shitty way of doing it, I truly hope you know that, but I—we’re not—”
“Oh, but we are.” His voice whips out in a sinister tone.
“Because I’m taking over as your handler in regard to you and your media responsibilities.
Your father promised he had it all under control, but clearly, he’s done a shit job of it, and the gamble is too big at this stage in the game to have another fuck-up.
We can finish this conversation in person.
I’ll have a car sent for you if I must. But I truly don’t have the time to hold your hand through all the details.
That’s what my assistant is for.” He pauses before humming in delight.
“That and fucking me, of course.” He chuckles when I gasp.
“I assumed your father told you about our little arrangement, but I’m guessing he fell short in performing that task as well? ”
The phone nearly slips out of my hand. I feel as though a tight fist has wrapped around my heart.
My father? A handler? His assistant?
But then every moment of our relationship starts to flash before my eyes. How he always flipped his phone over while having dinner with me or flat-out denied me access to it when I wanted to download a podcast I thought he’d enjoy.
The sudden change of plans, the unexplained extended nights away…
I guess the clues were all there, if I had only dared to look close enough.
I now understand that me running from my wedding wasn’t a rash decision but rather me finally listening to my intuition. It’s one thing to know something is wrong, but when your blinders are up so high, it becomes easier to ignore them… until you can’t.
I’m frozen in place. All I can feel is Luke’s shaky hand in mine.
When I look down, his shoulders are almost to his ears, and it seems like his entire body is brimming with rage. He’s looking at the ground, but I can only imagine the look on his face.
He draws circles on my hand with his thumb, but even that motion is erratic, as if it’s taking too much concentration to focus on that small act and not my disaster of a phone call.
I know it’s going to take more than a moment to unravel everything Damien has so callously revealed to me. But I need to walk away from this conversation knowing that I’ve said all that I’ve needed to while also giving him a piece of my mind.
“I don’t know why you’re telling me this. I know you’re upset, and you have every right to be, but honestly, are you fucking kidding me right now?”
Luke’s head snaps up at my change in tone.
I’m no longer feeling guilty, sad, or remorseful.
I’m fucking incensed.
“I have no clue what you and my father have conspired behind my back, but that is now none of my concern and I am none of yours. Therefore, I won’t be needing that car you so chivalrously offered and I won’t be crying crocodile tears for votes.
So you can ignore the little doodle I drew on that mirror and take this conversation as the official ending of our fucked-up engagement.
Oh, and while I’m at it, fuck you too.” I raise my voice.
I’m about to hang up when I hear his stupid laugh over the phone.
“My, my, so she does have a backbone,” he all but purrs.
“Had I known you had this ruthless side to you, I might have considered fucking that attitude out of you after all. I wouldn’t even have minded the little extra meat on your bones, might be a nice change from all the coked-out models I tend to prefer.
” My grip on the phone tightens. “But while this verbal foreplay is getting me hard, I really do need you back within the hour, because even though I wouldn’t mind fucking you now, I’m still not going to risk losing the Latino vote that you’ve all but handed to me on a silver platter, mi amor. ”
Luke stands, sending the stool he was sitting on flying back in the process.
The grip on my heart loosens slightly at the sight of him running his hands through his unruly hair, eyes set on my phone, probably ready to snap it in two.
But what neither Luke nor Damien are aware of is the overwhelming sense of power that is coursing through my veins the longer I hear Damien speak.
Because I’ve played every possible scenario of this very conversation in my head repeatedly since the moment I ran from that church without a backward glance. And every scenario ended with me feeling like a pile of crap while curled up on the floor crying.
I never could have anticipated the venom coming from the man I had foolishly convinced myself I could be happily married to.
Couldn’t have fathomed my father having a hand in orchestrating my obedience for political gain.