Chapter 25
twenty-five
I hate reliving this part.
But Daisy is right. She doesn’t need me making the calls on her behalf. I’ll tell her the full truth, and if by some miracle she decides she still wants to stick around, then I guess it’ll be on my ass to work on myself so that I can be the kind of man worthy to stand by her side.
“She was my ex-girlfriend,” I say out loud for the very first time.
“That night, while I was out celebrating our World Series win with the team, I broke up with Mindy. It was a dick move. I had been putting it off for months, but I was so laser-focused on getting that win that I didn’t want to add any potential distractions like her posting about our breakup all over social media and overshadowing all the hard work the team had put into the season. ”
I brace myself to find judgment on her face.
When I find none, I summon the courage to continue.
“We were young. Met at a charity event and hit it off immediately. She understood my lifestyle and supported me during the beginning of the relationship. But as the season went on, she got a little more brazen about asking for money, complaining about the fact that the other WAGs had more designer bags than she did, and hardly made it out to any of my games. I told my best friend Jack about my concerns, and he told me to keep my head in the game and deal with the drama after one of us made it to the World Series. The kicker is that we both made it, but on opposing teams.”
“So the night you won…”
“He lost. The game and his life.”
“It was a tragic loss. They were both so young and should still be here, but I’m failing to see where the fault of their untimely passing lies with you, Luke,” she says gently.
I start pacing, not able to sit with the energy coursing in my veins.
“I was an asshole. I was too focused on the sport and let my responsibilities as a boyfriend fall to the wayside. I didn’t even bother breaking up with her in a respectful manner.
And what did it lead to? Two drunk people getting in a car together and—”
I can’t even say it out loud. But the look on Daisy’s face tells me she already knows the rest.
“From what was reported,” she hedges, “they had been secretly seeing each other for months…behind your back.”
I close my eyes at the onslaught of memories. Of all the times they lied to my face while probably laughing behind my back. The betrayal that has nowhere to go because in the end, they died. Everything else is irrelevant.
“The newspapers didn’t have to report everything from the police report. The fact that she wasn’t wearing a seat belt and that he was found with his pants unzipped around his thighs is not something a parent should have to learn when they’re in the midst of planning a funeral.”
She winces, which only confirms that she knew that morbid fact.
“While I was partying with my team, my ex and my best friend were getting drunk on my tab and getting behind the wheel and putting others at risk as well. And when it was all said and done, I’m supposed to be looking like some sort of grieving widower, even though I was toasting to being single while they lay dead in a ditch.
And afterward, any time I cursed their names in my head, the burning hot rage turned on me, because how could I be upset at two people who couldn’t answer for what they’d done?
And as much as I hated what they did, I would have never wanted that outcome.
I wish I could have moved on and dealt with a scandal in the gossip headlines.
Instead, I was alone. I trusted no one. I ran here and bought a thousand acres of land that I had no clue what to do with, only to build a cabin fit for one because who the hell would I ever trust enough to share my space with again?
Who would ever want to associate with me?
” My voice cracks on the last word, and Daisy is up and catching a tear before it even has a chance to run down my cheek.
I gulp audibly. “A part of me always knew things were never right with my ex, yet I kept her along for the ride anyway. Almost everyone deals with some form of infidelity against them at some point in their life. But Jack? He was more than my best friend. He was a mentor. Someone I looked up to, confided in.” I suck in a fortifying breath, revealing what I’ve been too ashamed to say out loud.
“Before we sign our contracts, we’re warned by everyone with a pulse to look out for gold diggers or people in our circles who will try to scam us out of our newfound wealth.
But never in my life could I have imagined a betrayal like this coming from someone I thought was more of a brother to me.
And if a brother could do that to me, so easily cast aside his loyalty and respect for me, then I guess my only real value in the world are the numbers in my bank account and the one on the back of my jersey.
” I release the breath stuck in my throat.
“So I ran. And if I’m being honest, I haven’t stopped running since. ”
Daisy’s grip on my face tightens. “I’m so sorry, Luke.
But you’re wrong. Your finances are the least impressive thing about you.
You carry honor like a second skin, and anyone who is lucky enough to be around you knows they’re in the presence of greatness when you enter a room.
” Her worried eyes sweep my face. “You didn’t deserve any of that,” she coos as her hands magically touch me exactly where I need her.
“And I won’t pretend to understand what you must have gone through, but I can promise to help you process it all from here on out. If you let me in.”
I laugh humorlessly. “If I let you in? Daze, you’ve somehow broken down all of my fortified walls with your smile and that special dose of kindness only you possess.
When we first met, you sat through so many lunches where I was a wordless grump and offered to bring me a special blend of tea because you thought my grunting responses were due to a tickle in my throat when in reality, I was an awkward, disgruntled man who didn’t know how to act around a woman as beautiful as you. ”
Her lips twitch. “In my defense, it was flu season and you guys could be taking better care of yourselves when you’re out there on the road.
” She runs her fingers through my hair, bringing my forehead back down to hers.
“But you were one of the first people to speak to me without an agenda. You couldn’t care less about who my brother was, what school I went to, or what designer I was wearing.
Instead, you asked about the social media segment I created for the Monarchs and offered to get mic’d up even though you’re notoriously known for hating press conferences and having to deal with the media. ”
“I wanted to support you any way I could. It was the only way I would allow myself to stay close to you without crossing any boundaries.”
“Yeah, and now look at you. In the past few months I’ve seen you dance at my brother’s wedding, help light an ungodly number of candles for Mateo’s proposal to Isabella, and even attend a joint bachelor and bachelorette party.”
“I stormed out of that last one,” I grumble.
“Yeah, I suppose you did.” Her small smile makes an appearance, so I dip low and kiss her on the corner of her mouth, relishing the feel of my mouth on hers again.
“I’m sorry,” I breathe over her lips, my shoulders slumping.
“The only thing you should be sorry for is not delivering on those morning cuddles.” She pauses, eyes searching mine. “How are you feeling right now?”
I sigh. “Better. Relieved… and scared. Because I know these feelings don’t simply go away. I’ve wrestled with them for years in therapy, and I thought the worst was behind me. But now there’s you, and I’d never forgive myself if I caused you heartache because my heart no longer worked right.”
Her sweet smile warms me from the inside out before she speaks. “Your heart works just fine, Luke. I promise to be gentle with it as long as you promise to be patient with mine.”
“Patient?” I almost laugh. “I’ve spent the last year wanting something I knew I couldn’t have…
and now that you’re giving me the time of day, knowing all the good and bad thoughts that run rampant through my mind and somehow still want to stick around…
hell, I think I could find cause to keep you locked up in this cabin for the rest of our days. ”
“Offering to kidnap and keep me in the woods? Who knew you were such a romantic?”
I feel my lips tug up slightly and realize only Daisy has the power to do that to me. “What do you say we start our morning over and I make breakfast so we can eat in bed? Where I promise I will cuddle you after I put the both of us into a food coma.”
She nods. “I’m going to have to charge you extra for those cuddles now. In the form of more chocolate chip cookies. I saw the cookie dough you tried to hide behind the milk carton. And then we can watch a thriller. I think we could use a little true crime as a distraction.”
“Nothing gets past you,” I accuse playfully. “And I’ve got the podcast you like paused and ready to go on my phone so we can listen while we cook. Or rather, while I cook and try not to burn the place down while you sit on the island and drink coffee in my hoodie.”
“Oh, this calls for an outfit change? Who knew you had a flair for the dramatics, Coach. Going overboard for a morning movie and cuddle.” She laughs as she leads me to the kitchen.
If only she knew how overboard I can truly go.
Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea for her to walk out the front door. Then there’d be no question about how deep my obsession for this woman goes.