Chapter Twenty-five #2
If Finbarr had heard Eoin describe the new teacher two weeks ago as “very solemn,” he would likely have realized far sooner that it wasn’t Miss Groves he’d been speaking to by the river at all.
The past few days with Emma likely would have given away the secret if he’d not already known it.
And it wasn’t merely a matter of him recognizing her voice now.
She was weighed down and she was worried, but she was also hopeful and forward-looking.
She seemed to enjoy talking with him as well, and she listened when he told her things that weighed on him.
And they laughed at times, smiled often.
Voices echoed up from below. He didn’t know how many there were, but he suspected more than one branch of the family had arrived.
“Come on, then,” Finbarr said. “We need to go say hello to everyone.”
“Are you certain you’re ready?” Emma asked.
“It’s easier when I choose to enter the lions’ den than when the lions suddenly descend on me.”
“Lions?” Eoin asked, clearly confused.
“Your uncle likes to speak in riddles,” Emma said with a hint of a laugh. “We should try to think of a few riddles of our own that we can pose to him.”
“I’ll think very hard,” Eoin said.
“Excellent.”
Easy as that, Emma had smoothed over a potentially uncomfortable situation. Finbarr couldn’t manage to explain to the adults in his family how miserable he sometimes was at family gatherings. How could he possibly explain it to a child without hurting his feelings?
He stood, tucking Gemma tenderly against him. Emma quickly set her hand on his arm. She’d known without him asking that he’d need help making his way out of the room with the little one in his arm. He felt certain she’d even thought to grab his cane.
They’d just stepped out of the room when Emma said, “Patrick, twelve o’clock. I suspect he’s come to fetch his daughter so he can go make introductions.”
Once again, she proved a reliable source of information. Gemma was transferred into her father’s keeping.
“Come greet your family, Eoin,” Patrick said.
“But Madra—”
“Madra won’t leave until Finbarr does,” Patrick said. “You’ll have time for spoiling the dog still.”
“Promise you won’t take her away, Uncle Finbarr?”
“My word of honor.” Unless he went to St. Louis. You’re not thinking about that for two weeks.
Patrick and Eoin walked on. Madra kept at Finbarr’s side, Emma on his other side.
“Thank you for the warnings,” Finbarr said quietly. “It’s nice to not always be guessing.”
“I also don’t want to annoy you,” she said. “Tell me what’s helpful and what isn’t.”
“I will.”
As they stepped into the public room, a wave of voices rushed over him. It would take him some time to sort out who was there and where.
“Tavish and all his family are here,” Emma said. “Ian and all his.”
“Word spread shockingly fast.”
“Keefe and Ciara have just come in the door.”
He rolled his neck against the tension building there. “This is going to be a lot.”
“Ian and Tavish have just turned in unison to look at you.”
“Oh, dear.”
He heard her light laugh, a feat considering the noise in the room. “They’re coming this way.”
A moment later, his brothers were there. But he was ready for them to be, and he found he could actually just smile rather than be on alert for movement and voices.
“The first to arrive, were you?” Tavish said.
“I hate to tell you both, but that means I’m destined to be her favorite uncle,” Finbarr said. “With such a head start, none of the rest of you stand a chance.”
They both laughed. “You’re already all the other little ones’ favorite uncle,” Ian said. “We’ve all just assumed it’ll be the case again.”
He didn’t know that he was truly the favorite, but his nieces and nephews did love him, and he returned the sentiment a hundredfold. How was it that his family could, at the same time, be what pushed him away from Hope Springs and make him reluctant to leave?
Emma had spoken of that trade-off. Finding some peace, but being pulled away from the people you love.
And he knew that, until Emma’s return, Eimear hadn’t remembered her at all.
She’d felt no connection to her older sister.
If he were to leave, how many of his nieces and nephews would forget him?
Gemma would have no memories of him whatsoever.
He’d not merely not be the favorite uncle anymore; he’d be a stranger.
He’d have a family of sorts in St. Louis, one that fully and completely understood what he was experiencing.
He’d be living in a place designed for someone experiencing what he was.
And he’d be helping so many others like him.
But he’d lose this family, and he didn’t know if his place in their lives was something he could get back.
“Guess!” The poignancy of little Grace instigating her usual game in that exact moment struck him with force.
“Grace.”
“You always know, Uncle Finbarr.”
But would she always know? If he were gone long enough, even on return visits, he might not recognize her voice. The game would end.
Swirls of activity continued around him. He didn’t dare step into it at all. Emma still had his cane. But standing stock still while the world spun was a little disorienting.
“How’s Eimear?” That was Aidan’s voice. Emma hadn’t offered him warning; she must have been pulled away.
“She’s been very ill. Dr. Jones is with her now. Joseph feels like she’s passed the worst of it, though.”
“I’d wondered if her fever would have peaked by now. Timing varies with each bout, so it’s hard to know. I wish we understood better what was making her so ill.”
“So do I,” Finbarr said.
“I wish I were more help.” Aidan sounded frustrated.
“Dr. Jones speaks highly of all you do.”
“If I knew more, I could help more.”
Aidan would make a very good doctor one day. He just needed the ability to pursue his education in Chicago or St. Louis.
St. Louis.
Finbarr was supposed to be moving forward at the moment with the assumption that he would be staying in Hope Springs. But a sudden realization undermined that. If he took the job at the Missouri School for the Blind, Aidan could stay with him. Aidan would be spared the cost of lodgings.
“If you had someone to stay with, that would make your schooling possible?” Finbarr asked.
“Where to live and how to feed myself are the only real obstacles I have left,” Aidan said. “But I don’t know anyone in any of the places Dr. Jones recommended I go for schooling.”
“I might—I might know of an option in St. Louis.” How was it that his heart could swell with excitement for Aidan and drop to his toes at exactly the same time?”
“Really?” Aidan sounded hesitantly excited.
Finbarr didn’t want to give him false hope. “Might,” he emphasized.
“If that ‘might’ turns into something sure, will you tell me?”
Finbarr nodded.
A scholarship to cover the cost of his tuition and an uncle giving him a roof over his head. That eliminated Aidan’s most difficult obstacles.
Aidan could become the doctor Finbarr knew he was meant to be.
But not if Finbarr stayed in Hope Springs.