Chapter 17 Dreams & Consequences #2
She almost missed the deep, growling groan of her name as his body trembled above hers and his cock pulsed within her tightly gripping walls.
A strange sob escaped her as their bodies stilled, and Jon’s grip immediately laxed.
“Fuck, Jen, was I too rough?” He released one of her hands, running his fingers over it as if checking for injury.
She wanted to tell him no, he hadn’t been. She had in fact enjoyed every moment. But his tender, almost cautious touch only made her tears come harder.
He pushed up to his elbows and cupped her cheek with one hand, searching her face. “What is it, baby? Why are you crying?”
Jenna lifted her arms and managed to latch her hands onto his shoulders.
She tightened the grip of her legs around his waist. “I-I’m sorry, I don’t— I’m not upset, I promise.
” She sucked in a breath and tried again as Jon stroked a thumb over her cheek.
“I just … everything…” Get your words together, Jenna!
Jon leaned down and pressed his forehead gently to hers. “Breathe with me.”
She let herself close her eyes and focused on matching her breathing to his. It took a moment, but her tears slowed to a stop. She dragged her hands up to his jaw, a smile lifting her lips, and blurted, “I never stopped loving you.”
Because they were so close, she heard his sharper intake of breath.
Shit, I did not mean to admit that! She really was her own worst enemy sometimes.
Jon lowered his hand to press the heel of his palm to her jaw and applied just enough pressure to tilt her head as he moved his own. His lips settled over hers, the kiss soft but lingering. Tender where before it had been hungry. And far too brief.
Her eyes fluttered open … and he rolled off.
Jon wondered if he would ever hear Jenna profess her love without a stomach-churning pang of guilt.
Guilt that was all the more confusing because he’d always done everything he could to prevent the pain, and yet still, he knew he’d hurt her.
He’d never done anything malicious; couldn’t fathom raising his hand or otherwise willfully harming her.
He’d been straightforward in their youth, as honest as he knew how to be. None of that mattered in the end.
He’d hurt her. Her tears were proof. Her hesitancy was proof.
And knowing he’d hurt her, hurt him. So much more than it had ever hurt during the years when he’d thought he needed to try and forget her, to try and move on.
Jon caught her thigh as it threatened to slide off him when he rolled, wedged his other arm beneath her shoulders, and hauled Jenna on top of him.
She gasped, her glassy eyes blowing wide and proving she hadn’t expected that movement.
He let both his hands slide over her skin, already addicted to her softness, until her hair was tangled in his fingers and he had hold of her face again.
She rolled her abused lip between her teeth for a beat and whispered, “I didn’t mean to say that.”
He smiled. “But you meant what you said.”
She hummed a confirmation, her fingers curling over his chest.
“Jen,” he said, keeping his voice as gentle as he knew how, “if I could go back and change one thing, I’d take you with me.
We would’ve had to wait until you were also eighteen, but I had some down time in my second year.
We could have worked out a small wedding, made it official, and that way I could have taken you with me when I was shipped overseas.
I don’t know if you’d have loved that so much, and I’m not saying it would’ve been easy, but…
” He trailed off, not wanting to segue too far from his point.
But, fuck, he wished he could have spared her the pain she’d gone through.
Hopefully she knew, at least, he would never lay a hand on her.
“You never wanted that life,” Jenna said, still whispering. “I knew. I always knew.”
Jon tugged her down until he could breathe her in again, letting one hand slide behind her head and the other trail down her back.
“I thought I was sparing you pain. I thought I was giving you a shot at a better, more open future.” His hand fisted in her hair.
“And I thought I could give you up … if it was for your sake.” It turned out knowing the career he’d wanted had not meant he hadn’t still been an idiot.
Jenna pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. “I’m not mad.”
He believed her, and somehow, that made it worse. “I am,” he said roughly. “If I’d done things the way I should have, if I hadn’t been so fucking scared of the ‘what ifs’, you’d have my name. My ring. A house full of kids and dogs and whatever the hell else, instead of a trauma you never deserved.”
Saying it out loud, it struck him like a blow to the chest just how much he’d turned his back on. He’d put all of his energy into one dream and never let himself consider any other. But he wanted that. Specifically that.
“That’s … a lot, Jon,” Jenna said. “And kind of—”
Jon sat up abruptly, keeping his hold on her to make sure she didn’t topple off his lap. “It is a lot,” he agreed as Jenna hurried to curl her arms around his neck. He eased his grip of her hair and lowered that hand to her nape. “But you know me, Jen, I don’t dream small. And there’s still time.”
“Time?”
Jon tugged her closer and brushed his lips over hers. “Start thinking about what kind of dog you want, baby.” He watched her eyes widen. “I’ll buy you one after our honeymoon.”
Her mouth dropped open. “After our—? Honeymoons typically come after weddings, which happen after proposals, of which this is most certainly not.”
Jon grinned. “No, it is not, you’re right. But you’ll get one.” Misty Glades didn’t have a proper jewelry store, so he’d have to go into one of the larger cities to find something she deserved. That was fine. He still had plenty of other reasons to be running around, too.
Jenna rolled both her lips between her teeth and her eyes watered. She started shaking her head. “Y-you don’t have to do that,” she said, like she thought he was making a sacrifice.
Jon angled up and pressed a soft kiss to each of her eyes before he murmured, “It’s not a ‘have to’, baby.
” He made sure she was watching him, even if she hadn’t fully accepted what he was saying yet.
“I messed up when we were kids and let you go. That’s not happening again.
I love you, Jenna. That means I want to. ”
She sucked in a breath and then her lips were smiling against his.
Jon groaned and dropped his hands to her ass, squeezing as he positioned her over his dick. He had plenty more in him and they weren’t in a rush, so he had every intention of seeing just how many orgasms he could wring out of his future wife.
Jenna woke well after the sunrise to the smell of coffee permeating the air.
She blinked her heavy, crusty eyes open and rolled onto her back, into a full-bodied stretch.
It was only when she realized how unusually sore she was, and where, that she also realized she was alone in bed.
Which probably explained the coffee aroma.
Heat rushed over her as the events of the previous night replayed in her mind.
She’d never had sex like that. So completely uninhibited. So indulgent.
So unprotected.
She bit back a groan and swung herself upright. They’d been careful in the past, and her bastard ex had loathed the idea of kids so she’d always been on birth control. But she hadn’t had any reason to be since coming back to Misty Glades, and she’d let it lapse.
Her mind wandered like a runaway train as she went through an abbreviated version of her morning routine.
It had only been one night, but Jon had come inside her several times.
If she was honest with herself, even recognizing the potential consequences, she didn’t care.
Plus, she was over thirty. They were both over thirty.
It would be crazy if one night was all it took for her to get pregnant.
Jenna stared back at herself in the vanity mirror. It wasn’t one night. It was the first night. They’d crossed too many boundaries, exposed too many emotions, for last night to be the only time he held her. And he’d been very clear about the future he saw for them.
Marriage. Kids. Pets. A home of their own.
It was so damn domestic it made her heart ache.
She wanted all of it. Maybe more than she wanted anything else. So, she hurried from the bathroom and finally made her way down the hall, following her nose and some internal beacon that she hoped was leading her to Jon.
“Appreciate that, man,” Jon was saying when she stepped into the sitting room, his voice a low rumble.
“I’ve got a few buddies flying out this way today to lend a hand, but we’ll need everyone we can get.
” Jon lifted his gaze to hers and a warm smile raised his lips that didn’t feel like it had anything to do with whatever was being said on the phone.
Jenna quietly pointed toward the kitchen—and the coffee—and he dipped his chin.
“Yeah, will do,” Jon said into the phone.
Jenna made it up to the peninsula before Jon caught her, spinning her around and pinning her against the countertop. She let out a squeal as her hands landed on his chest.
Jon leaned in and ghosted his lips over hers. “Good morning,” he murmured.
Her heart melted and she stretched her arms around his torso, her fingers curling into the fabric of his T-shirt. “Good morning.”
He closed the kiss with a press of his lips, settled a hand at the small of her back, and licked his way into her mouth at a leisurely pace. Everything about the moment was warming and somehow reassuring, and despite the tenderness between her legs, Jenna arched into him as the kiss deepened.
Jon eased back and gifted her another smile. His eyes were brighter than usual, the brown shining out clearly. She couldn’t help but return his smile.
Until the serenity of the moment was quite literally shattered as a large rock, half covered in dirt, came flying through her kitchen window.
Glass exploded everywhere. One of her semi-sheer drapes was torn down.
The rock smacked onto the edge of the sink, wobbled, and rolled with a thunderous crash to the vinyl floor.
Jenna let out a startled shriek.
Jon tugged her beneath the overhanging edge of the peninsula with an arm around her shoulders, holding her close. He raised his other hand to his lips to signal her to be quiet.
Jenna bobbed her head and bit her lips to hold back any reflexive screams. She had no idea what the hell was going on or why anyone would be hurling rocks through her windows. If she’d been home alone, she’d probably be hyperventilating.
“Jenna!” a male voice bellowed from outside. “Get your whore ass out here!”
Everything froze. Her fear, her confusion. Her lungs. Her blood.
She’d forgotten. In the chaos and euphoria of the previous day, she’d managed to forget how the day had started. Stupid. Stupid, Jenna. She should have been bracing herself. She should have thought up plans—escape routes, emergency codes, anything. She should have held on to Lynnette’s bear spray.
A warm, calloused hand cupped her face, penetrating the ice and drawing her attention. Jon was close, his nose a hair’s breadth from hers and a concerned scowl on his lips. “Talk to me, baby. What just happened?”
“Jenna!”
Her throat constricted and she clung to Jon’s shirt, wishing she could will the knowledge into his mind. She pried her lips open. One word. It’s just one word. She’d already told Jon the story. If she could push the bastard’s name past her lips one more time, Jon would understand.
“If you make me come in there, bitch, I’ll kill your new fuck toy, too!”
Too. Because killing her was the plan. She’d known that, hadn’t she? He’d warned her. Screamed it at her.
Jon pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her, one hand threading into her hair.
“Tune him out. Find something good to think about and turn up the volume. Whatever it is. Sing to yourself, write up a new recipe in your head”—he pressed his lips to her ear—“remember my mouth on your pussy.”
She gasped at the unexpected turn. Her body thrummed.
Jon kissed her temple and eased back, moving his hands to her shoulders. “I’m going to go out there and shut him up. You stay right here until I come back, understand?”
All she could do was nod.