Chapter Twenty-Six
CHAPTER
TWENTY-SIX
The moment she stepped through the door, Beth knew something was wrong. The heat was oppressive, stifling, like the house had been shut up all day. Why on earth didn’t Flo have the air conditioner on? It was the middle of March, the hottest part of the year.
‘Flo, are you here?’
Her question elicited no response, but surely Flo wasn’t still asleep—it was two in the afternoon!
Maybe she was still sick. Oh god—too sick to even get out of bed! Meanwhile, Beth had been selfishly preoccupied.
She sprinted down the hall. There’d be time to beat herself up later. Once she knew that Flo was okay.
Rounding the door to the main bedroom, Beth found it empty, the bed unmade, the covers tossed aside.
‘Flo?’
Nothing.
She wasn’t in the bathroom or spare bedroom, either.
The lounge room! Hadn’t she found Flo asleep in her armchair the last time she was here?
Racing through the empty kitchen to the lounge, she nearly collapsed in relief to see Flo in her usual spot. Why hadn’t she checked here—
Wait.
An ominous feeling settled over Beth. The unhealthy pallor of Flo’s skin was … it wasn’t normal. Something was definitely wrong. What if Flo wasn’t just unwell, but, like, really sick?
She choked on a sob and stepped closer. Why hadn’t she insisted that Flo get medical attention? Why hadn’t she kept her damn promise to check in on her?
‘Flo?’ She inched forward. Sweat trickled from the nape of her neck and down between her shoulder blades.
Stopping in the middle of the room, she locked her gaze on Flo’s chest. It wasn’t moving. At all.
‘No.’
An uncontrollable tremor took control of Beth’s body. This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t be real.
She should look for other signs of life, any sign. But panic had her stepping back, back, until she hit the wall and slid to the floor. This couldn’t be happening. Couldn’t be real. She was shaking. Unable to think. She couldn’t be losing another person she loved. This was her fault. All her fault.
She gasped for air and her lungs burned. So hot, so oppressive. Stifling.
Get up! She had to do something. Flo needed help.
Scrambling to her feet, she lurched from the room, fled towards the open front door. She cleared the threshold but tripped on the pavement. Landed on the dry, thirsty lawn and broke her fall with her knees and the heels of her hands.
Trembling violently, she filled her lungs and screamed. ‘Noooah!’
She cried out, again and again, and didn’t stop—not until he was right there in front of her.
Grasping her shoulders, a panicked look in his eye, he scanned her from head to toe. ‘What happened? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?’
She tried to answer, but her words came out in a garbled, incoherent stream. Noah seemed to get the gist of it and disappeared, leaving her alone.
Always alone.
This wasn’t happening. Wasn’t real.
Her body heaved and she retched, expelling the contents of her stomach right there on Flo’s summer-scorched grass.
When there was nothing left to bring up, she scooted sideways, towards the house, until she found the wall.
The rough surface dug into her skin. She pulled her knees to her chest, rested her forehead against them and hugged her legs to her.
Her spine pressed harder against the bricks and she welcomed the sting.
Squeezing her eyes shut, she blocked out the world and attempted to forget.
Breathe, just breathe. Noah will help Flo. He’ll know what to do.
It was her fault. All her fault.
Minutes, hours, days passed, and eventually, someone touched her shoulder.
‘The ambulance will be here soon.’ Noah’s voice sounded far away and distant.
She looked up, blinked against the blinding afternoon sun, wanting to know, not wanting to know. ‘Is she …’
Noah said nothing, but his barely perceptible nod sliced straight through her heart.
Gone. Flo was gone.
A loud keening wail, like death’s calling card, started deep in her belly.
Noah tried to help her to her feet, but she pushed him away. She didn’t deserve comfort. Didn’t deserve peace.
The ambulance arrived and Noah met the paramedics in the yard. Spoke to them for a moment before they all looked over at her.
She closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the wall. Didn’t want their sympathy, their enquiring looks.
A short time later, Noah was back, hauling her to her feet. With no strength left to resist, she let him lead her across the road to her place. At the front door, she pulled her hand from his. Sat on the top step and leaned against a post.
‘Beth, you don’t need to watch this. Come inside.’
She tuned out his voice. Ignored his every attempt to coax her inside. Focused her gaze on Flo’s front door and waited. Didn’t he know this was her fault? He should be forcing her to watch this.
Eventually, he gave up trying to get through to her and paced the yard, instead, speaking softly into his phone and glancing over at her every now and then. After a while, she started drifting off to the soothing sound of his voice.
‘Beth?’
She cracked her eyes open. Noah was sitting beside her.
‘It’s time.’
The shadows stretched long across the yard as the paramedics emerged through Flo’s front door, wheeling her out on a stretcher, her body covered with a pristine white sheet. In no time at all, they’d loaded her into the back of the ambulance and were driving away.
She was gone.
Beth sat there, still, silent and unmoving.
Noah crouched in front of her. ‘Will you let me take you home?’ Sapped of energy and the ability to care about anything, she nodded once and slowly got to her feet. Noah helped her into the passenger seat of his ute and she stared unseeing through the windshield as he headed for the centre of town.
When they hit the main road, he flicked on the indicator and prepared to turn right—in the direction of the Brennans’ farm.
‘No. Can you take me to Ellie’s?’ Her words scratched her raw throat.
A beat passed.
‘Sure.’ He flicked the indicator the other way. ‘Whatever you need.’
It took all her strength to make it to the front door of the B&B without falling in a heap. Inside, she headed for the stairs. Ellie appeared in the kitchen doorway, but Beth couldn’t look at her. She was already struggling to hold the pieces of herself together.
Her feet were heavy, so heavy, as she climbed the stairs.
‘She’s not talking.’ Noah’s voice drifted up to the landing.
‘I feel like I’m only making things worse.’
Beth closed her door. Leaned her head against it. Summoning her strength, she took a scalding hot shower, then climbed into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin.
Sometime later, there was a soft knock, but she ignored it.
The door cracked open and a strip of light crept across the room.
It didn’t matter, though, whether it was Noah come to say goodbye or Ellie checking in on her, Beth didn’t want to talk to either one of them.
It was all too much. She simply wasn’t cut out for relationships—platonic, romantic or otherwise.
Love, in any form, just wasn’t worth it.