Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
Cole burst out the door of the school with his backpack hanging halfway off one shoulder, sneakers skidding slightly on the concrete as he barreled toward me.
I barely had time to say hello before he launched into a play-by-play of a science experiment his class was doing, something about volcanoes and baking soda that I’d be hearing more about over dinner, guaranteed.
“Hey, bud,” I said, ruffling his hair when he finally paused to take a breath. “That sounds real cool, but I’m gonna need you to press pause for a bit. I have to check in with your teacher real quick.”
“Am I in trouble for something?” he asked, his brows pinching together as he clutched the strap of his bag.
“Nope,” I said, squeezing his shoulder while smiling down at him. “I just gotta have a quick chat with Miss James about the fundraiser we’re having out at the ranch. Remember me telling you about that?”
He scrunched up his nose and made a face like he was trying to recall our conversation a couple of days ago. “Yeah, I remember.”
“You got your iPad in there?” I asked, notching my chin toward his backpack.
“Of course I do, Dad.”
“Of course you do,” I chuckled. “Can you go sit on that bench right there for five minutes? I’ll be right back.”
He nodded and started moving to the shade-covered bench, where a few other kids were still waiting for their rides.
Inside the school, it was mostly quiet, that end-of-day hush settling over the building.
As I walked the halls, my boots echoing against the polished floors, I told myself this wasn’t about dredging up our past. I just needed to clear the air between Eden and me because I hadn’t been able to focus on a single task since she walked back into my life.
I’d replayed that committee meeting a dozen times while mending fence posts a couple of days ago, smashing my thumb with a hammer because I couldn’t stop thinking about the look on her face when I called her ma’am.
Then, yesterday, I almost backed my truck into one of the corrals, remembering the way she used to moan when I’d go down on her.
I needed to do something because shit was getting dangerous. Clearly, ignoring her wasn’t working.
I’d been turning this moment over in my head all damn day.
Rewriting it, rehearsing it, second-guessing myself into knots.
And for all that, I still didn’t know what I was going to say.
Maybe something like, “I owe you a better hello than what I gave you at the committee meeting.” Maybe something stupid like, “You’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. ”
But when I rounded the corner toward her classroom, all my thoughts scattered like dust in the wind.
She was standing just inside the doorway to her classroom, laughing at something a tall guy in a flannel shirt was saying to her. He was leaning back against the frame, and when she tucked her hair behind her ear, he reached out and brushed something off her cheek.
It looked like the kind of touch you didn’t offer a casual acquaintance … or even a friend.
My stomach twisted, and heat flooded my chest. My hands curled into fists at my sides. The rational part of my brain knew I had no right to feel possessive, but watching another man touch Eden’s face, seeing her smile up at him, was like taking a cattle brand to the chest.
I stood there for a beat like an idiot, watching him look down at her like she hung the damn moon. And maybe for him, she did. Perhaps he was the reason she had returned to Montana.
The thought made me sick. Ten years I’d been telling myself she was living her perfect life in Chicago with her perfect fucking husband, and now here she was, building a new perfect life with some new guy. Right here, where I’d have to watch it happen this time.
Well, fuck that. I wasn’t going to stand here and watch it happen.
I turned on my heel and stalked out, my jaw clenched so tight I thought my teeth might crack. I almost turned around twice, but forced myself to keep moving before I did something stupid like march over there and make an ass of myself.
Dinner that night was a bit chaotic, the way it always was when the five of us sat down to dinner at the same time. It’d be even louder when Judd got home in a handful of weeks.
In between shoving bites of meatloaf into his mouth, my brother Nash was frowning down at a spreadsheet on his tablet. “We’re bleeding money in equipment maintenance. If something big breaks this winter, we’re screwed.”
Gage leaned back in his chair and snorted. “Something big has already broke. The baler’s been coughing up smoke for a week. Pretty sure Dad bought it when Judd was still a baby. We’ll need to replace it before next summer.”
Nash rubbed the back of his neck and mumbled something under his breath before tapping his screen a few times. “Okay, I’ve added that in.” He looked up at Gage, lifting his brows. “Anything else I should be thinking about?”
Gage gave a slight shrug. “Just normal stuff, but I’ll keep you updated if anything else starts to look iffy.”
The entire time, Colt sat quietly at the end of the table, nursing a beer and pushing food around his plate. Something was going on with my brother, but I had no idea what it was, and he wasn’t saying. He didn’t say much these days, actually.
Cole hopped up from his seat, grabbing the serving spoon with both hands and scooping a mound of mashed potatoes onto his plate.
Half of them slid off the spoon, landing on the table, but he just used a roll to mop them up, flashing me a cheeky grin as he did.
“Miss James says we’re gonna build model bridges next week,” he said around his bite of bread.
“She’s gonna show us how to make them with popsicle sticks and glue and this special string stuff so we can test weight. It’s gonna be awesome.”
This was the third Miss James story in twenty minutes.
Colt finally chimed in. “Sounds like you’ve got a great new teacher.”
“Yeah,” Cole agreed around a mouthful of potatoes. “She’s the best. Super smart. And she’s funny. And she talks to me like I’m not dumb, which is cool.”
Guilt sliced through me, sharp and sudden. Over the years, I hadn’t always been the best at interacting with Cole when he had trouble focusing or was a bit hyperactive, but we’d made huge strides together since he’d come to live with me.
Cole took a sip of his water, his straw slurping against the bottom of the glass. “Did you find her after school, Dad?”
“No, I didn’t find Eden.” The second her name left my mouth, I knew I’d fucked up.
Every eye at the table snapped to me, and the air got real still. I felt heat creep up my neck, and I shifted in my seat, suddenly feeling like I was some sort of animal on display at the zoo.
Colt blinked. “Eden?”
Nash’s fork clattered against his plate as he set it down, his eyes narrowing. “Wait. Eden James is Cole’s new teacher?”
Cole looked between us, confused. “You guys know Miss James?”
I scrubbed a hand down my face and let out a beleaguered sigh. The heat crawling up the back of my neck was scorching. I did not want to have this conversation. “Sure did, bud. Knew her years back.”
“Did you go to school together?” he asked, practically bouncing in his seat.
Nash chuckled under his breath.
“Nah, we … uh …” I grabbed my glass and gulped down a mouthful of water, trying to buy myself some time.
Gage leaned forward in his seat, a wicked grin spreading across his face. “She and your dad used to date.”
“Fuck,” I whispered under my breath, my shoulders dropping as I resigned myself to the interrogation I knew was coming.
“Language,” Nash reminded me, but his voice was more amused than reprimanding.
Gage let out a low whistle and shook his head. “This is better than television.”
Colt leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest, his mouth turned down in a scowl. “She’s back?”
“Yeah.” I nodded, catching my brother’s stern gaze.
While I’d been in love with Eden, he’d loved her, too.
Not romantically, mind you. More like a sister.
When he found out I was going to ask her to marry me, he let out a whoop so loud that our deaf old dog started howling.
Later, after I confessed that she’d turned me down and was moving home to Chicago, he stormed out of the room.
He’d never mentioned her name in my presence ever again.
“Wait! Miss James was your girlfriend ?” Cole asked, his voice pitched high with excitement. “Like, for real?”
“Yeah, bud. For real.”
Cole’s head was tilted to the side like he was trying to solve a puzzle.
I didn’t know what he must have seen in my expression—the tightness around my eyes, maybe, or the way my back had gone rigid—but suddenly his excitement dimmed and his expression turned thoughtful, almost protective. “Did you love her?” he whispered.
The table went quiet.
I stared down at my plate, my throat tightening.
I could feel my brothers’ eyes on me, waiting.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Cole looking at me with those wide, innocent eyes that missed nothing.
My hands were shaking slightly, so I gripped my water glass harder.
The silence stretched until I felt like I might choke on it.
“Yeah,” I said softly. “I did.”
And the rub of it was I wasn’t sure I’d ever stopped, though god knew I tried.