The Baths
There are some wounds that magic simply cannot heal. A person who has experienced trauma may experience echoes of that trauma for days, weeks, even years after the event.
Advanced Casting Principles: Corpimancy by Aurelia Laskarsis
AFTER ARLON DISMISSES me, I’m left with an unexpected night to myself. I used to like being alone. Never had a problem with keeping my own company. Yet ever since the Eastern Tower, my own head has been a poor place to be, and I don’t relish the idea of being on my own tonight.
Yet there’s no one I can go to. When I’m collared, Olbric usually spends the night with Cancassi.
Galiva is too busy with her duties as apprentice, Alix is tricky to find on a good day, and ever since we got back from our trip, Margeurite and Allis have been keeping each other’s company and no one else’s.
The thought leaves me feeling a little lonely and more than a little aimless. Finally, I drop my collar back in my room and grab a cloak before I head towards the posterior yard. If nothing else, at least a walk will do me good.
The gates are open, but as I step foot on the drawbridge, a familiar voice says, “Where you headed?”
I turn to see Nikolai lounging on a chair in the alcove of the gatehouse, a finger smoothing down the mustache he’s been growing recently.
Ever since the Eastern Tower, members of the Royal Guard have been posted up around the Crux on a regular rotation.
With the high tensions in town, they claim it’s for our safety, but we all know the real reason: after Demica’s betrayal at the Eastern Tower, all wizards are being watched.
“Just going for a walk,” I say.
“Where’s your second?” Nik asks, sounding bored.
I roll my eyes. “I need a second just to walk to the woods and back?”
“Yes,” Nik says simply. “You go in groups of two or more when you leave the Crux’s walls.”
I scoff. “That’s horseshit.”
“Look, I didn’t make that rule.” Nik sighs as if this isn’t the first time he’s gotten called out on this. “Get clearance from Arlon, and I’ll let you out.”
“Arlon’s busy,” I say shortly.
Nik crosses his arms over his chest as he leans further back in his chair. “Sorry, Dom. Then it looks like you’re shit out of luck.”
I roll my eyes before turning back towards the Crux. “Asshole.”
If Nik hears me, he doesn’t respond. But that was my one idea, and I can’t be bothered to come up with another one now that it got shot down.
Restless and more than a little annoyed, I head back inside, making a line for the baths.
If I’m gonna be bored and lonely, I may as well do it in a hot soak.
With it being so close to dinnertime, the baths are abandoned, and I sigh as I shed my layers before I choose the pool in the back.
I suck in a breath as I step into the heat, but as I adjust to the temperature, I can’t stop a groan as I lean my head back against the lip of the pool.
I’m so tired that it’s easy to let my eyes slide closed, giving into the urge to doze.
Then, something prickles against my awareness. A prey’s instinct, a feeling like I’m being watched. Unease shivers through me, and I quickly sit upright, eyes flying open to look around the baths.
Steam rises from the various pools, and the warm glow of the light globes gives the whole room a dreamy feel. Light and shadow dance in the gently glowing waters, but my eyes are drawn to a patch of shadow in the pool next to mine. A shadow that seems to condense, to move.
It rises from the pool, steam wafting from invisible shoulders and arms. Then, the shadowy figure steps towards me.
Fear grips tight as the shadow steps into my pool.
Water laps against my chest, but I’m frozen to the spot as the figure approaches, leans close.
I can almost feel the heat of breath against my ear, the weight of a palm resting lightly on my cheek.
And in the water below it, I see the reflection of someone. Someone who isn’t there. Pale skin, auburn hair, distorted by the lapping water.
“Go home, Dominai. Now.”
Panic grips tight, squeezing my heart until it feels like it’s going to burst. It’s that voice, the same one I heard while I was trapped in the silver, the one that spoke to me from the faces of strangers on the road to the Tower.
I thought I had left that voice behind out east, and it’s jarring to be proven so wrong.
I surge back to scramble out of the pool, sloshing a wave of water over the floor. Yet when my eyes snap back to the water, the shadow is gone.
I blink hard, trying to will myself awake, and it’s an uncomfortable feeling to realize I am awake. I pinch myself just to make sure, but the shock of pain isn’t comforting. I fall to sit on the wet stone, my heart racing as my eyes chase every rippling shadow in the baths.
But I’m alone. I’ve been alone.
It strikes me all at once that... maybe I shouldn’t be.
Dread has tied my gut in a knot, and I silently snatch my clothes up. I drenched them in my hurry to get out of the pool, but I don’t care as I throw them back on and scurry out of the baths like something is chasing me.
I’m dancing on the edge of a full panic attack, and I don’t know what else to do but head to Olbric’s casting room at the base of the evocation tower. The door is closed, and I hesitate for only a second before I lift a shaking hand and gently knock.
There’s muttering behind it, and my stomach drops even further when I realize that him and Cancassi must be right in the middle of something.
When the door finally opens, Olbric’s hair is down and mussed, a robe clutched around his shoulders.
Yet the second he sees me, concern replaces his annoyance.
“Dom? What’s wrong? Why aren’t you with Arlon?”
I open my mouth to speak, but the words die in my throat. What can I tell him? That I got spooked by shadows in the baths? That it feels like I’m losing my godsdamned mind? Tears well to my eyes as the weight of all I haven’t said suddenly feels like it’s crushing me.
“Arlon dismissed me early,” I choke out. “I-I’m sorry, I just... don’t want to be alone tonight.”
Olbric tsks before his arms surround me. I bury my face against his neck as I let out a shuddering breath. He strokes my back, and my pulse slowly starts to return to normal. Yet as I look over his shoulder, I meet Cancassi’s concerned face as they watch us.
I swear quietly, and Olbric releases me as I pull back. “I’m sorry,” I say again, wiping my eyes.
“There’s no need to apologize,” Cancassi says gently. “We were just about to take a break for dinner.”
I nod, but I can’t quite meet their eye. Something... changed between the two of them while I was gone. Now that I’m back, Olbric’s been giving me a lot of his time, and it’s impossible not to feel like I’m intruding on the one night Cancassi and him have together.
Another source of guilt to add on top of my growing pile.
I wait awkwardly by the door as they both get dressed before we head to dinner as a small group. It’s nearing the end of dinnertime, so the mess hall is relatively quiet as we take a seat at one of the tables with a bowl of pottage.
“Why did Arlon release you early?” Olbric asks.
I poke at my bowl, my appetite nonexistent. “Some important missive came in that he had to deal with. I’m not sure what it was.”
Silence follows that statement, but the unease that settles over the table is familiar. The feeling has hung around the Crux ever since the Tower fell.
Cancassi tsks. “Did he at least give you relief after that sending spell?”
I don’t want to mention that I failed to do my part there, too. I force a smile and say, “‘Course he did. He wouldn’t leave me like that.”
“Hmm, lucky you had such a responsible key holder,” Cancassi says slyly. “Olbric made me choke on him before he freed me.”
I can’t stop a quiet huff of a laugh. “That’s rude.”
Olbric’s grin is full of fire. “I had to muffle them somehow. All that wanton begging gets old after a while.”
“Ass!” Cancassi laughs, but I smile as I listen to their bickering. Their good mood helps raise my own, and by the time we’re done with dinner, I can almost forget about the baths.
That is, until Olbric asks, “Do you want to sleep in my room tonight?”
All the reasons why I don’t want to be alone come flooding back, yet it feels like there’s no winning. If I say yes, I’m bound to ruin Olbric’s sleep with my own restlessness. I’m about to say as much, but Olbric seems to read my mind.
“You know, Cass was going to keep me up all night anyway,” he says.
Cancassi hums, amusement dancing in their copper eyes. “And I will gladly keep both of you up, if you’d like.”
Maybe that’s exactly what I need. I can’t help but grin as I rub my scruffy cheek. Guess I won’t be catching up on sleep tonight after all.
“Alright,” I say. “Where to?”
AFTER WE FINISH EATING, Olbric and Cancassi take me back to Olbric’s casting room.
It still smells of sex, ropes and restraints strewn across the floor and bed.
I may have interrupted them earlier, but they don’t miss a beat as they pick up right where they left off.
Except now I’m the one at the center of their attention.
Between the two of them, I’m shot so deep into conspace that I can forget about the strangeness in the baths.
I’m suspended and teased, toyed with and fucked until I’m begging for release.
Conduiting for either of them is a pleasure, but conduiting for both of them tests my endurance in a way I’ve been craving.
I lose myself in it, and by the time Cancassi leaves us well after midnight, I’m covered in rope marks and welts. I’m so exhausted that I can barely keep my eyes open as Olbric helps me over to the bed before I collapse on top of it.
Then, I feel a damp cloth start to clean me, swiping over the welts Olbric’s flogger left on my back before cleaning the mess Cancassi left between my legs. I moan at the gentle care, my eyes so heavy it’s impossible to keep them open. Yet as tired as I am, I still manage a quiet, “Thank you.”
Olbric hums contentedly as he leans down to press a kiss to the back of my neck. “I’m glad we could help.” He falls quiet for a moment as he wrings out his washcloth before nudging me to roll over. I obey the wordless order, shivering as he starts to clean my abused cock.
“Are you alright?” he asks.
“I’m going to be sore for days,” I murmur, though I’m not at all mad about it.
“Good. But that’s not what I was asking.”
I swallow, my eyes sliding open to meet his concerned look.
“You looked... terrified when you showed up, Dom. Did something else happen with Arlon?”
I shake my head. “No, no. Nothing like that. I just... dozed off. Had another fucked up dream.”
Olbric tsks, tossing the washcloth into the basin before he lays down beside me, one arm curling across my chest. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He always asks. Never demands, like Arlon and Gal do.
I roll to face him, bringing our noses just shy of touching.
His hazel eyes are full of understanding as one hand reaches out to stroke my cheek.
I sigh as I lean into his touch, letting my eyes slide closed.
Gratitude and love fill my chest in that way that only he can cause.
“I must have dozed off in the baths earlier, and... a memory from the silver hit me,” I say, though it’s not the full truth. Nothing like that ever happened while I was trapped in the silver. “It just shook me, is all.”
Olbric’s thumb traces the bow of my lip before he leans forward to kiss me. It’s soft and gentle, and it helps ease some of the tension from my shoulders.
“The hard truth is that those memories won’t die easy, if ever,” he says, his brows knitting. “In the months after the Black Burrows, I’d get hit so hard by a sound or smell that it felt like I was still there. Hell, even Thaddius’ accent set me off one time.”
I drape my arm over his waist, pulling him close as I twine my leg around his. In the aftermath of the Black Burrows, he used to wake from nightmares too. Yet even now, I can almost feel that shadowy touch against my cheek, the heat of a breath that wasn’t mine.
“Did you ever... see things? Feel things?”
Olbric’s smile is strained. “Sometimes. I still get phantom pains in my shoulders, though they healed ages ago.”
That should be comforting, but my worry still lingers.
I’d been left alone in the silver for so long.
All that fear, all that nothingness feels like it...
broke something in me, and my memories of that endless stretch have all blurred together.
I don’t remember what I said to Olbric when I dream walked to him, can’t remember details of the visions I saw of Galiva and the others.
Yet that voice... I remember that voice vividly.
You should never have come here, Dominai. You have to go home.
But I am home now. So the fact that I’m still hearing that command makes me uneasy for a lot of reasons.
I heave a heavy sigh before I shake my head, putting on a small smile. “Sorry. I’m not trying to dredge up bad memories.”
Olbric’s nose gently brushes mine. “It’ll get easier to talk about with time,” he says before his smile turns wry. “Ask me how I know.”
I tighten my arms around him, pulling him snug against my chest. He smiles against my collar as I brush my lips against his forehead.
“I love you,” I murmur.
Olbric hums contentedly as he kisses my neck. “I love you, too.” He sighs against my skin before asking, “Will you stay with me tonight?”
“You would have to physically beat me out of this bed,” I say, and Olbric laughs. “I’m serious, you and Cass are demanding casters.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Olbric says.
“Not at all. It was exactly that I needed,” I say before I catch his lips again. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, love,” Olbric chuckles before he gently extracts himself enough to roll over, allowing me to spoon against his back. “Sleep well.”
I intend to. I pull the quilt up to cover us before I drape my arm over Olbric’s waist. And as exhausted as I am, sleep comes to claim me quick.