Visions
Magic is built on a foundation of trust. If you cannot speak freely about how you are feeling, you must come to terms with the reason you feel the need to stay silent. Keeping your fears and insecurities to yourself will only allow them to grow unchecked.
Fundamentals of Magic by Eroland Lockhart
AFTER I CAME TO THEM in a panic yesterday, Olbric and Cancassi seem to be doing everything they can to keep me occupied.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t grateful, because the promise of a busy day keeps me from going too deep into my own head.
Olbric and I meet up with Cancassi at breakfast, and they already have a whole morning planned for the three of us that includes a trail ride before heading into town to get lunch from Mabel’s pie shop.
“Are you planning on sleeping today?” I ask.
“Once we’re back from lunch,” Cancassi says, waving a careless hand. “If I don’t rest up before my date with Ambra tonight, I’m going to regret it.”
“Which means I’ll have the full privilege of tiring you out,” Olbric says brightly. “It seemed to work well last night.”
“Hmm, if the cost of a solid night’s sleep is getting fucked to oblivion and back, I’ll pay it,” I chuckle.
Olbric’s eyes are full of mischief as he says, “So I get to tie you up and tease you to madness two whole nights in a row?”
I drain the last sip of tea from my mug, trying to cool the heat that’s bloomed in my gut. “Bet paddling your ass red would tire me out just as well.”
Olbric considers that, his smile only growing. “I’ll consider your offer. For now, let’s go get some fresh air.”
After being thwarted by Nik yesterday, I eagerly follow Olbric and Cass to the stables. Once we get the horses saddled up, we head to the back gate where the Chokehold is on duty today.
“Where to?” he asks, his voice as clipped and impatient as always. As if we’ve interrupted his very important stretch of nothing that’s going on today.
“I’ll tell you if you tell me your name,” Cancassi says sweetly as they pull Tara to a stop next to the man.
“You’ll tell me anyway or I won’t open the gate,” the guard replies flatly.
Cancassi tsks, obviously annoyed their charms aren’t working. Out of all the Royal Guards on rotation around the Crux, the Chokehold has been the hardest nut to crack. “We’re going for a ride and then into town. We’ll be back after lunch.”
The man nods curtly before he releases the latch for the bridge. It thunks down across the moat before he opens the gate for us, yet Cancassi pulls Tara to a stop next to him.
“It seems someone else used this saddle recently.” They pull their riding skirt aside, exposing far more of their smooth, pale leg than necessary. “Would you be a dear and adjust my stirrup up a notch or two?”
The guard glances up at Cancassi, obviously suspicious, but does as asked.
Olbric and I share a knowing look as I fight back a smile.
There’s a wager circulating the Crux about who can get a kiss from a Royal Guard first. It’s no secret that Cancassi’s determined to win even though I’ve told them it’s a losing task.
Nik’s not the only one who’s shut tighter than a godsdamned crypt, but Cancassi is not deterred.
“Thank you, dear,” they say, slipping their boot back into the stirrup. “Until later.”
The guard waves us off carelessly, and Olbric waits until we’re across the bridge before he says, “You’d have it easier with Teagan. She at least talks to us.”
“Nik talks too,” I point out. “But I’ve already tried barking up that tree, and he’s not interested.”
“I’m starting to wonder if they’re celibate or something,” Olbric says. “Who knows what requirements there are to be a Royal Guard.”
“Gods, that would make so much sense,” I mutter, thinking of Nik’s usual surly attitude. I’d be pissed all the time too if I wasn’t allowed to cum.
“Well, until the Chokehold flat out tells me to stop, I’m going to keep trying,” Cancassi says. “The man has to have a name, at least.”
“How about a wager you might be able to win?” I say lightly as I nudge Mo to the front. “Last one to the tree line pays for lunch.”
Before either of them answer, I urge Mo to a run with a whoop. After a good night’s rest, my mood is better than it’s been in weeks, and the feeling is only bolstered by the rush of excitement, whipping wind, and thundering of hooves.
Mo’s not the fastest, and even with my head start, I end up losing, but the sound of Olbric’s and Cancassi’s laughter as I catch up to them at the tree line is worth it. I give Mo’s neck a pat and follow behind as they head down the trail.
Fall has turned the leaves shades of gold and red, and while Olbric and Cancassi chat, I fall back to appreciate the sight quietly as we cut down the deer trail to the sluggishly trickling creek.
Ahead of me, Cancassi laughs at something Olbric said, but I’m too far behind to hear what they’re joking about. The sound is a comfort all the same. I rock with every one of Mo’s steady steps. This is the normalcy I’ve been craving since I got home, and the feeling spreads through me like a balm.
Cancassi trots up a hill, moving so gracefully in time with Tara that it looks like they’re floating. Olbric follows close behind on Valar. They crest the hill, moving out of my sight, though I can still hear Cass’ trill of laughter across the distance.
I nudge Mo forward, and a burst of cold greets me at the top of the hill. A gasp of shock is ripped from my chest as I pull Mo to a stop.
There’s no fall colors. No path. Instead, there’s... snow. A blinding flurry that kicks up with the wind. It stings my face, my exposed forearms, like daggers, and I take a staggering step forward, squinting for any sight of Olbric’s back.
Fear lances through me as I see a figure laying prone in the snow up ahead. I take another staggering step forward, fighting through the shin-deep drifts before I fall to my knees beside the figure. I carefully turn them over, but my hand is suddenly covered in a thick, black glove.
It’s not Olbric.
Instead, it’s pale blond hair, a battered face, one eye swollen shut. Rags cling to his bruised and bloodied skin, but I know it as Lucien all the same.
A shout of triumph breaks from me. But it’s not my voice. Not my lips that lean down to brush a soft kiss to Lucien’s brow.
Lucien’s pale eyes fly wide open, a hoarse shout escaping him. He struggles to focus on me, body shuddering as the lid of his one non-swollen eye flutters.
“Tevares?”
“-om? Dom!”
It’s like dropping into a trance. Or maybe out of one.
I blink in shock as I crash back into myself, stomach plummeting like I’ve dropped off a cliff.
I turn and find Mo munching on a patch of grass by the road.
My eyes travel up to where Olbric and Cancassi wait at the top of the hill, peering across the distance curiously.
The wind kicks up around me, scattering fallen leaves over my boots.
“What are you doing?” Olbric calls.
I don’t remember getting off of Mo. Don’t remember walking over here.
“Just had to piss,” I call back, forcing the tremor out of my voice. I turn back to Mo before another gust of wind kicks up, and the shaking branches make Tara flinch under Cancassi.
The sky overhead is already starting to darken, clouds accumulating over the mountains. It’ll snow. Likely the first real one of the season. And I don’t doubt it’ll be a blizzard.
I hurry back to Mo, stepping up into the saddle as quick as I can. “Storm’s coming. We should head back.”
“Was just about to say,” Cancassi says as another, stronger gust makes Tara dance nervously.
Cancassi leads us back down the trail, and I’m quick to follow as Olbric falls into line behind me. I can almost feel his eyes boring into the back of my head until he finally calls out, “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine. It’s nothing,” I say quickly, even as the wind tries to snatch my voice away.
We fall into a tense silence as we hurry down the path, picking our way back to the Crux. Even though I know it’s coming, I still flinch as freezing rain hits my shoulder.
The storm only gains strength. By the time we reach the gates, the Chokehold looks pissed that we’re making him come out into the rain to lower the bridge for us. We hurry past him without a word and duck into the stables.
“Well, a trip to the baths is almost as good as a trip into town for lunch, right?” Cancassi asks breathlessly.
Olbric chuckles, his teeth chattering. “Agreed. Dom?”
The thought of going to the baths nearly sends me spiraling again. As it is, I’m just barely keeping it together. I’m not meant for company.
“I think I’ll pass,” I say. “I’m starving.”
We finish getting the horses settled before Olbric comes to meet me. The concerned pinch of his brow tells me he knows something’s changed.
“You’ll be alright?” he asks gently, his hands coming to rest on my hips.
Gods, but I’m grateful he doesn’t pry. I nod as I cup his face, just to be sure he’s really there. Without thought, I press a kiss to his forehead only to remember the lips that weren’t mine brushing Lucien’s forehead. I pull away quick.
“I’m alright. Just... need to be alone for a bit.”
That does nothing to ease the worry from Olbric’s face. “I understand. Can I still come to your room tonight?”
“Of course,” I say before I pull out of his grip. “I’ll see you later.”
I retreat into the Crux and swing by the mess hall to grab a plate, if only to keep up the lie. Then, I head to my room to let it go cold.
No one bothers me as the afternoon passes. I try to busy myself with some chores I’ve been neglecting, like darning my socks, carefully cutting fletching for some new arrows. On the road, having a bow and a stocked quiver came in handy, so I still like to keep some at the ready.
It’s times like this that I almost miss Airedale.
Fall was never an idle season in the mountains.
I’d be preparing the cabin for winter or helping my da salt and preserve our food stores.
The late season hunting trip is something I miss dearly, and I wonder if I could get permission to go on one now.
The idea of just... disappearing into the mountains for a week sounds more appealing than ever, even with the rain currently pelting my window.
But that thought brings others with it. This storm proves that winter’s come early to the mountains. But even if this is the storm I saw on our ride, that vision of Lucien... doesn’t make any sense.
Lucien has been in the King’s prison since the Tower. He was brought back with Demica and the others, along with Diran’s body. So why am I seeing him in the mountains? Unless I’m seeing something that hasn’t happened yet?
I shake myself, tossing my half-finished arrow onto my bed as I get restlessly to my feet. “Talking like it’s fucking real in the first place. Like you aren’t losing your godsdamned mind.”
A sudden knock on my door makes me jump, and I rush to open it. Arlon peers into my room before looking at me curiously.
“Were you talking to someone?” he asks.
I flush hot, not quite able to meet his eye. “Just muttering to myself.”
Arlon’s curiosity fades to concern as he asks, “I just wanted to check in on you. And apologize again for yesterday.”
“It’s alright. Olbric and Cancassi kept me company,” I say. Arlon looks like he’s just come from the baths, his hair still damp. “Did you get everything sorted that you needed to?”
Arlon’s smile is strained. “For better or worse, we did.”
Silence stretches between us, heavy with the things neither of us are saying. Yet I can’t get my thoughts off of what I saw in the woods.
“Lucien is still being held in the King’s prison, right?”
Arlon goes very still, and it’s no longer Arlon but the Grandmaster I’m talking to. His eyes search me, his arms crossing over his chest. “Why do you ask?”
The shift in his demeanor makes me immediately regret it. “It’s nothing,” I say quickly. “Just been curious if the Crown’s said anything about what they’re gonna do with him.”
Arlon sighs. “Lucien is dead, Dom.”
The words hit like a sucker punch. “O-oh. Fuck.”
“I was going to make the announcement tomorrow night,” Arlon says, the grief heavy behind his eyes. “His past casting partners deserve to know.”
I nod numbly, even as a cold dread creeps through me. If Lucien’s dead, then I really am losing my mind.
“Are you alright?” Arlon asks gently.
“Just... sorting through it, I think,” I hear myself say.
Arlon tsks before he pulls me into a gentle embrace. I clench my eyes shut tight as I bury my face against his broad chest. I suffer the wave of emotions silently as Arlon’s hand strokes comfortingly down my back. When I finally pull away, I feel numb.
“Are you alright?” Arlon asks again.
I nod, rubbing my aching eyes to avoid looking at him. “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
I nod before putting on a smile I don’t feel. “Are you?”
Arlon’s hand cups my cheek. “I will be. Garrett and Bridgette are coming to stay the night.” He presses a kiss to my forehead before asking, “Do you have any plans for this evening?”
But I hear what he’s really asking. He wants to be sure I’m not alone tonight, either. “Olbric’s going to come keep me company.”
His thumb strokes my cheek, and for a moment, he looks as lost as I feel. “You know that you can talk to me about anything, right?”
The weight of all the things I haven’t said suddenly feels like it’s crushing me. I fight back the panic that tries to curl around my chest as I force another smile. “I know, sir. Thank you.”
Arlon seems to be waiting for something that isn’t coming. He hesitates for a moment longer before his hand falls back to his side. “Have a good night, Dom.”
“You too.”
I retreat back into my room so I don’t have to see the disappointed slump of his shoulders as he heads down the hall.