Chapter 8
EIGHT
Aiden loved the feeling that surrounded them in the truck.
Angela had gotten her magical night for Fallon. The little girl hadn’t enjoyed sitting on the blustery Santa-figure’s lap, but Aiden had urged her to stay long enough for them to get a picture. Fallon was more interested in the reindeer and screamed bloody murder when they finally took her away.
The screaming actually made Aiden happy, because it meant she was still a baby who wanted her own way. Sometimes she was too serious, and she saw too much. Angela had distracted her with her toys and a pacifier, and they’d tried to shield the public from her temper. He and the security team were getting better about building a metaphorical wall around the baby, both to keep her wild emotions from getting out and affecting other people and to keep her from being ‘seen’ by others that had been modified.
By the time they made it back to the SUV, she’d tired herself out. Her head rested on Aiden’s shoulder, and she’d almost been asleep by the time he loaded her into her car seat.
Angela had hugged Grace goodbye, and promised to get together with her again soon. Aiden could feel how much they liked each other, and it reassured him that he sensed no subterfuge in Grace at all. She had feelings for Black, but that wasn’t any of his business. Although, from the lingering way Black watched her walk away, he wondered if the feelings didn’t go both ways.
Vaughn drove them up the mountain, through the fresh snow. As the elevation climbed, so did the snow they drove through. It wasn’t especially cold, but he was glad he’d banked the fireplace before they’d left. They would appreciate the extra heat tonight.
Once they pulled into the drive, Aiden carried Fallon into the house. He toed off his snowy boots and padded through to her room. The baby didn’t even wake as he pulled the puffy snowsuit off her. He changed her diaper and put her in a one-piece sleeper. She fussed a little, but not enough to fully wake. It had been a very busy night for her.
Angela was puttering in the kitchen. A tea kettle simmered on the stove, and her hands were wrapped around a mug of tea as she leaned against the counter, looking out the sink window.
“She barely even opened her eyes as I put her to bed,” he murmured.
“There’s a bottle ready in the fridge if she wakes up tonight,” Angela said, her voice raspy.
Aiden got himself a cup of tea and sat at the table as Angela talked about the people she’d met and the stories she’d heard from Grace. “I really, really like it here, Aiden. It’s scary how much.”
Yeah, he could feel the fear in her now. Pushing up from the table, he crossed the distance to her and took her hand. “There’s no sense in being afraid. We’re going to live our lives and make a safe environment for our child. If something happens, we’ll deal with it.”
Sighing, she gave him the crook of a smile. “Did you see Grace and Black?”
“They were a little hard to miss,” he laughed.
Angela leaned back in her chair. “I hope he takes a chance with her. He’s too closed off.”
Aiden rubbed his jaw. “Well, it’s up to him. Knowing Black, he’s thinking of the consequences down the road if the men get involved with the townspeople. We’re going to have to come up with a protocol on what we can tell the people that come into our lives. We’re in a pretty tight bubble right now, and that’s going to have to change. I’ll talk to him. If he has a chance at love, I would never tell him he couldn’t take that chance.”
“Some men may choose to leave the Foxhole,” Angela said softly. “Leave the mountains.”
He shrugged a little, trying not to show her how much the thought worried him. “They have that prerogative. If they don’t want to join Task Force Omega or work for Elizabeth at the Elton building or the Foxhole, they’re free to leave. We would never try to control them like Shu and Wilkes and Hall. That goes against everything we stand for.”
“I know,” she sighed.
He squeezed her hand and pulled her close enough to cup her cheek. “Don’t borrow trouble, babe. We’ll take it a day at a time and just be in love, and love our little girl.”
Tears filled her eyes and she nodded, leaning into his touch. “That’s all I ever wanted, Aiden.”
He kissed her sweet tears away, vowing that whatever time they had on the mountain, he would make it as normal and loving as possible.
Black cursed, his hands frozen cold as he tried to manhandle the hydraulic fitting on the tractor. Duck had been plowing snow when the line burst, making the plow inoperable. It wouldn’t have been a big deal, but they’d just gotten four inches of fresh powder overnight, and it was a little hard to get around up here if the main road wasn’t clear. Snow continued to fall softly.
He wiped his hands free of hydraulic oil yet again, blew in them to try to warm them up, then went at the fitting again. He just had to push the metal sleeve back and pull the hose…
His hand slipped and he busted his knuckles. Again.
Cursing a blue streak, he stalked away, shaking his hands out. Blood dripped off three of his knuckles.
“Can I help?”
He looked up at Aiden Willingham, standing with his hands deep in his coat pockets. “You can try. Duck and I have busted just about all of our knuckles. It’s someone else’s turn.”
Aiden looked between the two of them, and they held up their hands. Duck’s were actually worse, but he’d been working at it longer.
“You might get dirty,” Duck warned, grinning as he scanned down Aiden’s legs, but Aiden snorted.
“Believe me, I’ve been dirty before.”
Without hesitation, Aiden kneeled down in the muddy slush of the drive, leaned against the huge tire and grasped the fitting. The first and second time, he lost his grip and bashed his knuckles just like they had. The third time, though, he got the fitting off.
“Yes,” Duck said, pounding Aiden on the shoulder as he stood up. “I been limpin’ that bitch along for three weeks, off and on. Just kept replacing the fluid I was losing.”
Grinning slightly, Black shook his head. “We should have called you thirty minutes ago.”
He handed Aiden a blue shop towel to wipe his hands. They’d already gone through most of a roll.
“Happy to help.”
Within just a few minutes, they had the hose replaced and Duck was back out plowing.
“Isn’t your job mostly administrative,” Aiden asked, and Black snorted.
“Right,” he drawled. “No, I end up helping whoever needs help. If it needs done, it doesn’t matter who does it. We’ve all had to pitch in and do a bit of everything.”
Aiden crossed his arms, his heavy jacket rustling. Obviously, his outer gear was brand new. He wore a thick trapper hat, with furry ear flaps. He looked a little ridiculous, but Black had a feeling Aiden’s head was a lot warmer than his own. Cowboy hats kept the weather off, but they did nothing to keep his ears warm.
“Let’s get out of the cold,” he said, and turned to lead the way to the 4x4 UTV. It had a two-man cab and was a good utility vehicle, with a small dump bed. He drove it around to check on jobs, and it was a heck of a lot easier to get around in than his truck. There were 4 wheelers down in the barn, but too much snow and they wouldn’t go anywhere. There was another UTV, but Evan was usually using it at the greenhouse. If the men were really deep in the woods, they had horses they could also use, but he preferred wheels over hooves most days.
Black gave the vehicle hell, and they pushed through the snow, back to the main lodge, or the Den as they liked to call it. This was the heart of the sanctuary, and he was pretty proud of it. Black went around to the exterior door of his office. This was the first section of the Den they’d built, and his eyes traced over a few nagging details, just as he did every time he came through the door. They’d learned a lot since they’d first started, but those little inconsistencies would always be there. He used the office as a gauge against what they did now.
Stomping the snow from his boots, he hung his hat on the peg. Crossing to the wood burner, he opened the damper as he threw in a couple of logs. The banked coals licked hungrily and quickly enveloped the wood.
“Help yourself to a coffee,” he told Aiden, motioning to the Keurig on the stand, then started removing his layers. Aiden did the same, and he settled at his desk, a hot cup between his hands.
“I feel guilty I’m not out doing more,” Aiden said.
Black made a face. “I wouldn’t. You’ve just moved into your house. Enjoy your time with the baby and Angela. It’s wintertime, anyway. There aren’t as many jobs right now. Once spring rolls around, I’m gonna be throwing jobs at you. I’ve already written up your schedule.”
Aiden chuckled as he sipped from his cup. “I’m not gonna lie. The time in the cabin has been the best. Angie is nesting, and Fallon has been giggling and laughing like a baby should. We were so stifled in the Elton building. More than I even realized.”
Black nodded. “I felt the same. Yes, it was harder than hell when we first moved out here, but I don’t think there’s any way I can ever move back.”
“Don’t you have family out west somewhere?”
“Montana. I… haven’t connected with them. I didn’t think it was fair to let them know I was alive if I wasn’t going to stay.”
Aiden gave him a considering look. “It’s wintertime, and almost Christmas. Maybe you could run out and give them an amazing gift. It rips out a family’s heart when they’re told their loved one is lost. I promise you, the mountain will still be here when you get back. As well as all your lists and schedules.”
Black had actually thought about it a time or two, but discarded the idea. His family thought he was dead, thanks to the government, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to disabuse them of that reality. He felt responsible to the men here. They were his family now. Eventually, he shook his head. “I’m good.”
“Well, if you change your mind….”
“I don’t think I will,” he said, giving Aiden a look. “Now, do you want to tell me the real reason you came looking for me?”
Aiden grinned, his white teeth flashing. “Was I that obvious?”
Black shook his head. “Not at all,” he lied.
“Well, now that Duck has the plow running again, Angela was wondering if you could run her down the mountain. I’ll watch the baby. She wants to get some last-minute shopping in.”
Black rocked back in his chair. “I’m sure Doc…” he started, but Aiden shook his head.
“His driving scares her.”
Unfortunately, Black understood. Doc hadn’t wrecked recently, that he knew of, but he drove with a recklessness that made Black worry. Doc had been a medic in the Army, so he should be more careful, but it didn’t slow him down. As soon as Doc had recovered enough to get out of the Elton building hospital and be mobile, he’d bought the Jeep. He’d been one of the first to volunteer to move to North Carolina, and he lived to be outdoors.
Black understood. With the way they’d been kept before, they cherished their freedom.
“Plus, she’s meeting Grace, and she thought you might want to tag along.”
Black tried not to react to the woman’s name, but Aiden smiled slightly and he knew he’d seen. Or maybe he felt the emotion that hit him. Aiden was kind of like he was. He registered too many things.
“I’m glad she’s getting together with Grace,” he said. “I’ve dealt with her for several months, and she seems genuine.”
“She also seems to really be into you,” Aiden said.
“I know,” he said, sighing. “She asked me out three days ago.”
Aiden’s dark brows shot into his hairline. “And you told her…?”
Black shifted, uncomfortable. “I told her I had a lot of responsibility and that it wouldn’t be fair to start something. Besides, it would be an entanglement that we don’t need up here.”
Aiden rocked back in the seat, propping one ankle on his opposite knee. “So, do you think we should curb all personal entanglements? Tell the men they can’t connect to anyone other than the men on this mountain?”
Black scowled. “Of course not. But we haven’t had a chance to go through and try to figure out how it would all work. What would we tell the potential partners? What if it didn’t work out? All our secrets will be exposed.”
“That seems like it could happen in any relationship.”
Yeah, it probably could, but they weren’t normal people. They had a price on their heads, and he already lost sleep at night thinking about the footprint they were leaving, and when they would be found. There were only so many security precautions they could put into place before they needed to be tested in a real-life situation. He would prefer to put that situation off as long as possible.
If no one found them up here, great. But he didn’t want to be the one to introduce the risk.
Grace was a temptation he had to fight against.
“No, she’s not,” Aiden said, and Black wasn’t sure if he’d broadcast the thought or his buddy just read it on his face.
He opened his mouth to argue, but Aiden held up a hand.
“If I’ve learned anything over this past week, Owen,” he said, using the name he’d given Grace. “It’s that you have to live. We were okay in Virginia, but for the first time in a long time, we’re actually living our lives. I’ve been so worried about Fallon being found that I haven’t let her be a little girl. Not even a little girl. She’s still a baby. And Angie has stifled herself as much as I’m going to let her. Yes, she’s a mother and she’s learned to love cooking, and she loves caring for Fallon, but she’s a ball-buster at heart. She was an MP and a cop, and I have a feeling she’d love to take on a role like that again. Maybe she’ll go down the mountain and work with the sheriff, or just offer her detective services. She had a whole life before me and our crazy world took it over.”
Aiden leaned forward, planting his elbows on his knees. “And let me tell you. She has healed me more as a man than any therapy sessions or drinking sessions or time. She’s been there for me every step of the way, and she hasn’t flinched once. She is my ride or die. I would love for you to feel that.”
Black couldn’t look away from the intensity in Aiden’s expression, and for the first time in a long time, he felt… on edge. Excited. A little scared. He never dared think about opening himself up to someone like that. He wondered if he even could.
Aiden pushed up from his chair. “I just wanted you to think about it. Angela and I talked, and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to have a relationship. You are actually the ideal candidate to be the first to jump into the pool. We have enough guys that can read the civilians and watch for leaks. And if something happens, we can go in and finesse the problem. We’re kind of a national security secret, and we’ve already been told to stay hidden. We’ve been given permission to do that in any way we have to.”
Yes, they had.
“I’ll think about it,” he said eventually.
Aiden bundled up, put on his ridiculous and obviously-warm cap, and gave him a smile. “I’ll tell Ang you’ll be over to take her down the mountain soon.”
Then, with a wave, Aiden was gone.
Black didn’t know what to think. For so long, he had lived and worked to breathe life into the Foxhole. For the past year, a little longer even, he’d given himself to creating a space for the men that had been tested upon. A place to recover and grow, and remember the men they used to be. Some days there had been so much work he’d gone to bed only when he could no longer walk or talk, then gotten up hours later to finish a job. He’d given them everything. And he was building a community, a home, they could be proud of.
Was it so wrong to think about finding a little piece of companionship for himself? He loved the men here, but he missed the softness of a woman and female companionship. It had been a long time since he’d let himself go with a female. Years, actually. Before he’d been forcibly enrolled into the program and given the drug.
There was a nervous feeling in his stomach as he thought about Grace. It was ridiculous. He felt like a boy trying to process a crush on a girl.
And would she even want to be with him if she knew exactly what she was getting into? They were a damaged bunch. A few of the guys had found love, but the women that loved them were extraordinary.
He thought Grace was extraordinary, but he barely knew her. Maybe he needed to get to know her more before he dumped anything big on her.
Watching Aiden and his family this past week had been hard. He was normally a solitary guy. He was comfortable being alone and never ran out of things to do. But seeing the little family playing in the snow and especially seeing the other men watching them, it made him realize how lonely he was. How lonely they all were. Yes, the men got together for dinner every night in the Den, and of course they were friends, but there was no replacement for an actual family or romantic connection.
If he needed to justify seeing Grace to himself, maybe he could think of it as a social experiment. The men here couldn’t and wouldn’t stay on the mountain forever, and maybe they needed some kind of framework for relationships.
Who was he kidding? He just wanted to see her. With that thought in mind, he headed toward his room to take a shower.