Chapter 5
5
A pril and Kylen stayed outside as Greg and Deenie got Dalton home. Mother and son needed to discuss what happened on the trip that made him wild about moving to Miami. She claimed not to be interested in a quick move like the one Carmine was suggesting.
“Kylen, you have to come back to reality. I have to talk to Carmine first, but you’re here now, so I can talk to you. Do you really expect us to move across the state for someone I’ve only known for a month? I should never have gotten you so wrapped up in this,” April said.
“You did, though. I was hooked up with him to play volleyball and then sent to Miami with him. He was thrust upon me in a way, and you’ve never done that with a man before. You must have sensed he was different, and you were right. Carmine motivates me, and it’s been forever since that has happened. You and Greg are great, but he reaches a different part of me,” Kylen said. “As I told you, he described the prep school where I can spend my senior year, and I was actually excited about school.”
“You’re my responsibility until you’re eighteen. I won’t let you go to Miami without me, and I’m just not ready to make that sort of commitment. I haven’t even discussed plans with Carmine, so you’re putting the cart before the horse.”
“Mom, you’ve had boyfriends before, but no one lit a spark under you like Carmine does. Do you feel different?” Kylen asked.
She nodded. “I think it has to do with the time in my life. I’m fifty, and that’s the time when many of us are asking, what next? This conversation has gotten out of control, and I didn't intend to get this deep with my seventeen-year-old son.”
“Mom, we’ve always had an odd relationship compared to other mothers and sons. It has always been just the two of us, and thanks to me, we’ve been through some tough times. You know where I stand, and I guess the rest is up to you.”
“I’ll keep you posted, kiddo. I’m sorry I didn’t give you a father,” April said. It was a little out of the blue, but the topic was never too far from her mind.
“I never missed the man who donated half my DNA. You protected me from him when I was in your belly, and you’ve kept protecting me,” Kylen said as he ran his fingers through his newly short hair. All the guys playing volleyball had short hair. “Since you brought it up, do I resemble him, and do you have a photograph?”
The question pierced April’s heart for so many reasons. Did he only feel comfortable asking questions if she brought it up? She should have kept a photograph of him, and the answer was yes, Kylen looked a lot like Charlie.
“I don’t have a photograph, but I can find one on the internet,” April said. She tried to hide the fact that it bothered her at all. This was unexpected, and Kylen had never asked such a direct question about his biological father.
“You don’t have to bother with that. Just give me the name, and I’ll look him up. It’s not like I want to contact the dude. I just want to know what he looks like,” Kylen said casually.
“His name is Charlie McGowan, and he’s my age, give or take a year.” April felt as if she had just opened a Pandora’s box. Kylen would be eighteen in a year, and he could contact Charlie, but there was one major lie she told years ago. He didn’t sign away his rights because he didn’t know April was pregnant, but that wouldn’t matter much because there would be no custody battle over an adult. April was concerned about how Kylen would react to her lies.
“Cool, thanks. Don’t worry. I’d never contact someone who wanted nothing to do with me,” Kylen said. “What are you up to tonight?”
“Carmine and I are having dinner tonight, so hopefully, we can work things out. He’s leaving Melbourne Beach before us, so we’ll talk. If all else fails, Miami was one of the schools you were interested in, so you might end up there regardless. It would give me some piece of mind knowing there was someone down there to keep an eye on you,” April said as she hugged her son.
"I love you, Mom. I'm going for a run on the beach. Deenie and I are hanging out because Dalton’s friends are visiting him, and Greg is getting together with some old colleagues.
April ran to her room to get ready, but before she did, she pulled out her laptop. She hadn’t googled Charlie in a couple of years. She checked to see if he was still alive. It pulled up a Charles McGowan, living in Philadelphia, who was born in 1973.
Over the years, she made sure not to cyberstalk him because April truly didn’t care. This time, however, she did care. What if Kylen had half-siblings and wanted to meet them? What if he needed to contact him to get medical information?
April read further and got as much information as she could. He was the president of the Small Business Association for a small town in Pennsylvania where he lived. That meant that he was probably a small business owner himself. On his profile, it said that he was married to Ginny and had two sons.
She clicked off the computer, stepped into the shower, and cried. She had to tell someone about it, and the first person that came to mind was Carmine. He might think she was a terrible person and would walk away, although that was unlikely. If he did, Kylen would be without the only man in years with whom he had a connection.
Carmine picked April up. She was home alone, which was odd and rarely happened. It was likely that someone was home, but they were napping. She wore a pink sundress and sandals. April wasn’t looking forward to donning scrubs again, but that wasn’t for a month.
He showed up having been on the beach all day, so his skin was freshly bronzed. He put on sunscreen like he was frosting a cake, and still, the rays got through.
“You look beautiful tonight.” Carmine kissed her. He frowned when he put his arms around her waist. “You’re tense, is something wrong? Did something happen to Kylen?”
“It involves Kylen and a decision I made about his future, a long time ago,” April said.
“Let’s go to the restaurant, and you can tell me about it over dinner. Does that sound okay?” Carmine asked.
“I don’t think I can eat. How about a beach walk instead, and we can grab something casual afterward?” April asked.
“Sounds serious, and walking is fine. Clouds look like they will burst any moment, so grab a coat or an umbrella. That hurricane will stay well offshore, but it’s producing some rain. I geeked out about the weather this morning reading reports from the National Weather Service, and Martha will fizzle out before it makes landfall. We need the moisture, so I won’t complain.”
“I like summer rain, especially when I have someone to walk in it with.” April smiled.
“Is Kylen around?” Carmine asked. “I’d like to say hello.”
“No, he’s doing something with Deenie tonight. They carved their own paths this summer and haven’t spent much time together. I’m sure they have a lot of catching up to do.”
April and Carmine walked down the beach at least a mile from the pier and back again. As the sun set, they chose a bench on the pier as April spilled her guts, and Carmine listened compassionately. She was embarrassed that she even moved in with a man who would hit her. Carmine said that an abusive man doesn’t usually show his violent side until he gets a woman where he wants her. His sister had a similar situation, but she was caught off guard, and he broke her ocular bone.
“Did she leave?” April asked.
Carmine nodded. “She ended up in the hospital, and when I saw her, I visited the guy. I did to him what he did to my sister and more. My sister didn’t want to press charges, but I said I would if he called the police on me. The weasel crawled back under a rock, or at least he tried. I found out that he never passed the bar after taking it three times. He faded into obscurity, and my sister is happily married with three kids. She’s a part-time paralegal, and when the kids are grown, she will go back to law school. She wants to be an advocate for abused women and work for legal aid.”
“It took me a long time until I trusted a man after that. I’m not overstating it when I say you’re the first man I’ve trusted,” April said.
“That’s a compliment, thank you. I’ve gotten to know Kylen and know he’s not a kid with his head in the clouds. He probably suspects that things with his bio dad were not so cut and dry. It’s not like you had some huge court battle over Kylen, and you ended up kidnapping him.”
“I probably would have if I had to. The lie was easy, and it was so long ago. I didn’t give it a lot of forethought or afterthought until Kylen asked about it,” she said.
“It was probably for the best. Charlie sounds like he made a life for himself and wanted to forget about that dark period in his life. That’s pure conjecture. He might be as much of a jerk now as he was then.”
“I don’t want Kylen to know I lied. Look how Deenie turned out, and her parents aren’t together,” April said. “He might imagine the same could have been possible with him and his father.”
“You’re comparing apples to oranges. Greg cheated on his wife. Charlie raised a hand to you. Men like that don’t get second chances,” Carmine said.
“Do you have any advice in that handsome head of yours?”
“It’s really up to you, beautiful. Either way, you’ll win. If you tell Kylen, he’ll understand because he’s a smart kid. He is not only streetwise but also emotionally mature. On the other hand, if you say nothing, I don’t think he’ll find out. I truly believe he wants to see what Charlie looks like, and that’s all. You said he’s never shown any past curiosity, and he never mentioned it to me. We dove deep on our drive to Miami and back. It was never brought up.”
“Good advice, and I feel so much better. You mentioned a few weeks ago how we move this thing we have forward. I’m ready to talk options,” April said. “I was broken tonight, and you made me whole. That’s something I want to have more of, and I want to help you when you need it in return.”
“Where should we start?” Carmine asked with a huge smile on his face.
“Give me a couple of days. I have a few calls to make, and I’m emotionally drained. How about we grab a pizza and a couple of beers,” April suggested.
“We’re made for each other in so many ways. I love that I don’t have to prepare myself to get my heart crushed,” Carmine said. He grabbed her hand.
They walked to the closest pizza parlor, and it turned out that they liked the same toppings – sausage and onions. April kept looking for something wrong with Carmine, but she couldn’t find it. There surely was because everyone has flaws, but she would deal with them just as he would deal with hers.