Chapter 9
9
Lincoln
Wishing he was in the car with Ashley, driving off into the darkness rather than having to return to his real life, Lincoln wondered why he didn’t feel worse about what he’d just done. He knew he should regret it, should be guilt-wracked over making some really terrible decisions. Over cheating on Janet, even if she’d done it first.
Over having sex with a drunk young woman almost half his age, even though he’d also had a bit too much to drink.
So many excuses. So many equivalences.
All of it boiled down to the fact he didn’t actually regret it at all. He’d meant what he said to Ashley. They shouldn’t have done it, but he couldn’t find himself wishing they hadn’t.
He felt guiltier over not feeling any guilt than he did over what they’d actually done.
Did that make him a bad person?
Walking back into the reception—with the music, lights, laughter, and conversation—was jarring. No one knew the change he’d just gone through. They were living their lives unaware of what had been happening just down the hall. Rebecca and Wiley were still on the dance floor, practically humping each other.
It didn’t bother Lincoln as much as it had before. Which probably did make him a bad person.
There was Janet, dancing with Marshall. They were keeping things appropriate, but they were still dancing together, which made him feel a little better about the fact that he’d just cheated on her too. Clearly, she hadn’t missed him. Then he felt like shit because that wasn’t why he’d done it, and it made what had just happened with Ashley feel tawdry. As if it wasn’t already since he was already married.
He was too numbed to feel regret, though.
“Some day, huh?” Kellar Vaughn sidled up to Lincoln’s side again. “Did I see you following Ashley out?”
For a moment, Lincoln panicked, wondering if they’d been caught, but the mild tone of voice and Kellar’s unbothered expression didn’t seem like that of an outraged uncle.
“Yeah, I wanted to make sure she wasn’t going to drive. I stayed with her while she waited for a car to pick her up.” That was a very edited version of events, but it was what he was going with. If Kellar thought it was odd how long it had taken, he didn’t say so.
“That’s good. She doesn’t need to be here for this.” Kellar made a face as Wiley spun Rebecca around. “She would have had a meltdown right about now—this was her parents’ song at their wedding.”
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
He knew Rebecca had personally gone through and chosen every single song the DJ was playing tonight because she hadn’t trusted the man not to play something she didn’t like. What he didn’t know was whether or not she understood the significance of this song. If she didn’t, Wiley sure wasn’t giving it away. He didn’t seem fazed at all, which meant he either knew it was coming or he had forgotten his song with his previous wife. Or he was an incredible actor.
None of those options were reassuring, and that the man hadn’t even noticed his daughter had left made Lincoln want to storm over and shake some sense into him. Ashley deserved so much better. So did Rebecca, as far as he was concerned, but she’d made her choice for a husband. Ashley hadn’t been able to choose who her dad was.
“I wish I wasn’t here for this,” Lincoln muttered.
“Tell me about it. I’m probably headed back to my room soon. If I were you, I’d escape while you can.” Kellar turned to look at a different part of the dance floor. “Maybe take your wife with you. She seems like she might have overindulged a bit.”
That was a nice way of saying she’d been spending so much time with her lover on the dance floor, she hadn’t noticed her husband had just stepped away and fucked someone else down the hall from the party. Not that Kellar knew that last part. He seemed like a good guy. If Rebecca had to marry a man twice her age, why had she chosen the married Wiley instead of the unmarried Kellar?
They looked alike, but so far, Lincoln liked Kellar about a thousand times better than his new son-in-law. He seemed like a really good guy. If Lincoln had to have a son-in-law who was older than him, he would have vastly preferred Kellar.
“Thanks,” he said, rather than telling Kellar he was going to let Janet have her fun. It didn’t matter to him anymore. Besides, considering his own activities tonight, he wouldn’t make himself into an even bigger hypocrite by trying to keep her away from her lover. “Can you check in on Ashley tomorrow to make sure she got home okay? Also, she left her car here.”
He couldn’t check in on her of course. Or offer to bring her back to her car.
“Yeah, I’ll be seeing her and Sara tomorrow.” There was something in Kellar’s voice when he said that, but Lincoln didn’t know him well enough to decipher the underlying message. “Have a good night. And uh, congratulations, I guess.”
With that rather unenthusiastic rejoinder, Kellar nodded his head and turned, walking out and leaving Lincoln standing alone again. Sadly, that was how he wanted it. He didn’t feel like talking to anyone there. Not for the first time, he regretted letting Janet talk him into leaving his men off the list.
Sure, they were employees, and he was their employer, and it might be odd, but they were more like family to him than his own family sometimes. Running a security firm did that. The lines got a little blurry. Janet hadn’t liked the idea of a bunch of ‘rough’ single men running around. She’d pointed out they would probably feel obligated to buy Rebecca a present, which was a very blurry line for the employer-employee relationship.
Truthfully, none of them had seemed all that sad about not being invited, though Lance had made a crack about missing out on sad bridesmaids. He’d been less interested once he’d heard all the bridesmaids were related to Lincoln.
Maybe it was a good thing they hadn’t been invited. They were all much closer to Ashley’s age than he was, and he was sure more than one of them would have had their protective instincts roused by her. The thought made jealousy streak through him, so strong, it nearly took his breath away. He could feel it like a physical thing.
He didn’t want to think about anyone else touching her.
Flexing his hand, he headed for the bar.
He didn’t care that his wife was ignoring him to dance with her lover, but the thought of Ashley with someone else… Fuck. He was so screwed. He definitely needed a drink.
Taking a spot at the bar, Lincoln spent the rest of the night staring blankly at the wedding guests. He wasn’t seeing them, though. Not really. Instead, he was seeing Ashley’s face. Her lips wrapped around his cock. Hearing her moans as he plowed into her from behind.
Wondering what she was doing now.
Wondering if she was thinking about him, too.
Wondering what the fuck he was supposed to do about it.
It’s just the allure of the forbidden. And possibly the alcohol.
Was it, though?
Lincoln took another drink.
At the end of the night, Wiley and Rebecca had their big send off. Even though they were staying on location, they still wanted to ride around in a limo as if they were going somewhere else, so everyone trooped outside to see them off. That was the first time that Wiley actually looked around, as if realizing that some of the people he expected to see weren’t there. Then he shrugged, and got into the car with Rebecca, who was laughing as she pulled him in.
As much as Lincoln wanted to see his daughter happy, he really didn’t want to think about what they were going to be doing during the limo ride. Probably some of the same things he’d done to Wiley’s daughter earlier that evening. Which did make him feel a little better, and then a little worse because he knew it shouldn’t have made him feel better.
He was officially losing it.
“Our baby girl, all grown up.” Janet leaned against his arm.
Lincoln clenched his jaw as his skin crawled. Fuck, he didn’t want her touching him. And he didn’t want to touch her. Thankfully, she seemed to be doing it for appearances, not out of any genuine desire.
“I can’t believe it.” She sniffed, bringing a handkerchief to her completely dry eyes.
“Me, either.” They watched the limo go off together. It was truly the end of an era. Rebecca was grown up and married, and their marriage was over.
And his new son-in-law’s daughter was haunting his mind.