Homicide's Pain (Dirty Slayers MC)
Prologue
Melissa
M Y LIFE GROWING up was anything but normal. In fact, it was so far removed from normal, I’m not sure how I even got to be where I am and have a semi-normal existence. See, my dad is the President of the Burnt Brothers MC. It’s a motorcycle club founded on drugs, guns, women, and having no attachments in our small town of Mirfield. I’m literally the only kid around the club because no one else has any. At least none they know about. These guys in my dad’s club are horny and they spread their seed around as if their life depends on it. It wouldn’t surprise me to know there are several dozen kids running around out there who belong to the members of this club.
Instead of my dad putting me in dance or other girlie activities, I was taught how to fight, defend myself, and to shoot any number of weapons on a daily basis. Not just by my dad either. Every single man in the club played their part in making sure I had the knowledge to take care of myself against any possible threat coming my way. That was only the tip of the iceberg though.
My dad never celebrated holidays or birthdays. Unless it was for the guys. I mean, it’s an excuse for the guys to party and get drunk. Not that they ever need an excuse to party or get drunk. Not even to get high. Every single day I was surrounded by death, violence, and drugs. I didn’t know any different.
On top of being the only kid in the clubhouse, which I was in daily, my babysitters were the girls who stayed at the clubhouse. I now know they were club whores. Women who are there for the men to have sex with whenever they felt the urge to do so. They really didn’t pay attention to me when they were supposed to be watching me either. These women were either high, having sex, or trying to entice the men at the clubhouse into having sex with them. I don’t honestly know what my dad was thinking when he decided to leave me in the care of those women.
For as long as I can remember, I was responsible for myself. Getting ready for school and getting outside to catch the bus, preparing something to eat when I was hungry, and doing my homework when I was old enough to bring it home. I did my own laundry and everything else. No one was there to really guide me or tell me what to do and when because I was just kind of in the way for everyone when my dad wasn’t around. Even when he was around most of the time.
My dad did dote on me though. Anything he thought I wanted, he’d make sure I had. It was all material goods he could go out and buy or send one of the club’s Prospects out to get. If we weren’t shooting guns, fighting, or something along those lines, my dad didn’t act like I was around. Needless to say, I spent a lot of my time alone and learned to read. Reading became my escape. Books took me to different worlds where I could forget all of the chaos and life surrounding me on a daily basis. There wasn’t a single book I didn’t devour once I learned to read.
I’d borrow books from the library when I could get someone to take me into town. Most of the time, I spent a little bit of time there reading until whoever my ride was came back to get me. I certainly didn’t have any problems with the arrangement because it meant time away from the clubhouse and being able to read in a quiet location for as long as I was left there. Plus, the librarian always looked out for me as she sat behind the large desk and kept a close eye on me as I wandered the shelves until I had several books I wanted to read.
My mom wasn’t in the picture. She was killed by a rival club when I was a few months old. I don’t remember her at all. No one in the club talks about her and my dad got rid of every piece of evidence he had that she was part of his life. The few times I tried to bring up the topic of my mom, I was instantly shut down. My dad would either walk away from me or give me a look. One of my dad’s looks was more than enough to get me to stop asking him about her or bringing her up for a while. I don’t like being on the receiving end of his glares and I always went out of my way to ensure I wasn’t at the end of it.
So, my childhood was very lonely but with a ton of chaos surrounding me. There was always loud music and parties in the clubhouse. It would go to the early morning hours and most nights kept me awake longer than I should’ve been. My dad didn’t have a house so there was nowhere for me to get away from everything going on. Not that I’m sure he would have let me stay at the house alone while everyone was at the clubhouse.
The club had a ton of rivals and I was always made to stay inside the clubhouse. If I was allowed outside, it was only behind the large building we all stayed in and if someone was outside with me. The one time I tried to sneak outside just to get some fresh air, I was caught by Mad Dog. He was my dad’s Vice President. Mad Dog yelled at me, dragged me back inside the clubhouse, and sent me to my room for the rest of the night. He was so angry I didn’t even attempt to leave my room for something to eat or drink. It was a long night as my stomach protested the hunger my small body was feeling.
When I turned thirteen, my dad surprised me with a house he’d had built on the clubhouse’s property. It was out behind the clubhouse and far enough away I couldn’t see or hear all the chaos ensuing there on a daily basis. He told me I was getting too old to hang out there on a regular basis and I’d already seen more than I should for a girl of my age. Yes, by then I already knew what a penis looked like, what several different sexual positions were, and could tell you multiple ways to get high and the various drugs used. Not from any school education either. This was all stuff I saw in the clubhouse daily. So, he built a house, but it was never a home. It was just four walls with a few rooms inside for me to be when he didn’t want me at the clubhouse.
In a way, the house became my sanctuary. My dad had a hard rule that no one was allowed inside if he wasn’t home. Since he was rarely in the house, there was no way anyone else was inside either. It was up to me to keep it clean, let him know when I needed to have more food brought in, and everything else. It’s not like it was a hard job considering I was the main one there and I didn’t really do much other than my homework, reading, and watching TV. Can’t have a house without a TV according to my dad. He needed something to do when he was there a night or two a week.
The older I got, the more I realized kids at school looked at me differently. I didn’t have any friends at all. The boys only talked to me because of the club. They viewed me as their way in with my dad. Plus, they figured if I was at the clubhouse on a daily basis, then I was easy and would have sex with them. It didn’t take them long to realize I wasn’t their way in and I’d go back to being ignored. When it came to the girls, well, they saw me as a way to get close to the men of the club. They wanted a night with a bad boy. Most of them are old enough to be their fathers, but the girls in my grade and one or two above me didn’t care about that. Like the boys, the girls soon realized I wouldn’t help them accomplish their goal and left me alone.
Oaklynn is the only person in school I was friends with. We’ve been friends since kindergarten when we sat at the same table in class. She didn’t realize I was different and was never going to have all the new material items everyone else wanted to go to school with. Plus, as we got older, she didn’t give a shit about the club, it’s members, and using me as a way in. Oaklynn only wanted to hang out with me and barely paid attention to the men and women at the clubhouse. Unless it was my dad. He treated her like another daughter and visited with her for a little bit every time she was allowed to come hang out with me. Which wasn't often because of everything she had going on.
My best friend was into so much as a kid. Her parents had her in art classes outside of school because she loved to draw and was always doodling in notebooks and every other piece of paper she could get her hands on. Her dad wasn’t home most of the time because he was an over the road truck driver and her mom worked two jobs. It was a way for her to stay busy when they were at work. Oaklynn was either at class, with her grandma, or with me. That’s a huge part of the reason we were so close-we were always together and didn’t let anyone come between us.
Oaklynn also didn’t like to talk to boys or have anything to do with them. Like me, she was very shy until she got to know someone. In our teen years, everyone thought we were stuck up and believed we were too good to hang out with anyone else. Reality is we just didn’t know how to strike up a conversation or put ourselves out there with groups of kids we went to school with. However, that didn’t mean Oaklynn was a pushover because she had no problem standing up for herself or me. She also didn’t have low self-esteem. It was just hard for her to open up to others or share any of her personal information with someone she didn’t know. Kind of makes it hard to get to know someone when you can’t open up.
Over the years, Oaklynn has gotten into more than one fight because she was defending me. I never asked her to and was right by her side each and every time. The only difference between us is I let the petty bullshit girls our age spew go. They’re just jealous because we’re surrounded by the members of the MC while it’s something they lie in bed at night wanting to have. Since I know their game and don’t bring anyone around the club, the girls I go to school with get vicious and try to start fights with me. I’ve been jumped by them more than a few times and Oaklynn’s always by my side when it happens. I guess it’s all my years being around the guys who are my cousins and uncles that allows me to let most everything roll off my back and not bother me.
Zeke is the only other person I have let into my life. We met my sophomore year of high school. He was the new kid in town and drew everyone’s attention because he was already riding a motorcycle and didn’t care what anyone thought about him. The first time I saw him, my heart started racing and my eyes were constantly drawn to him. I could feel his eyes on me through our entire first period class. Zeke sat behind me and his eyes were always on me no matter where I went. When I didn’t feel him looking at me, I’d be staring at him. It was easy to do considering we had almost every single class together.
He began eating lunch with Oaklynn and me every single day and we began talking. Zeke also always sought me out so we could work together on homework or class projects. We developed a friendship which eventually turned into love. I loved him from the first time he stepped in when the boys at school were taunting me and calling me all sorts of vile names. All because my dad is the President of a motorcycle club. They think I should be fucking all of them even though I’ve always told them it wasn’t going to happen. Zeke also got into more than a few fights defending me. He never got mad at me about it or scared about what trouble he’d get into at home. No, he didn’t have a good home life.
We would hang out at school, go to my house, or find different spots around town to sit and talk while working on our homework. We’d listen to music all the time too. I listen to a little bit of everything from growing up in the clubhouse and then discovering bands and singers I loved on my own. Zeke liked rock and whatever I’d force him to listen to any particular day. The first time we danced, it was to Under My Skin by Nate Smith. That will forever be our song in my mind. Zeke is in my heart and soul after spending two years with him.
I wasn’t ever allowed to go to Zeke’s house. He wouldn’t tell me why either. Bits and pieces started to make sense though. If we went to a party, he wouldn’t go near alcohol or any other substance that was freely flowing around the house or vacant lot we were partying in. There would be bruises on his body. Whether it was his hands from punching someone or other parts of his body, I’d see them. I’d feel him flinch away whenever I touched a tender spot. My heart broke for him on a regular basis, but I couldn’t tell anyone. Zeke swore me to secrecy. Since I’d do anything for him, I never told a soul. Not even Oaklynn and we kept no secrets from one another.
Zeke was always there for me. If I called him in the middle of the night because my dad had to jump out of bed and head out somewhere on club business, Zeke would race to my house. He’d hold me while my dad was out doing God knows what and he’d keep my mind off of all the what if’s floating through my head. He’d make me laugh when I was having a bad day, bring me whatever I needed without a second thought, and protected me so many times. Not only would he defend me at school, he’d make sure no one got too close to me or looked at me too long if we were out in public somewhere. Zeke is an alpha male without even realizing it. I’ve seen more than enough to know he’s only going to get worse as he gets older and falls in love. Not that he doesn’t love me, we’re just in high school though and you never know what’s going to happen with a high school romance.
If I thought the first eighteen years of my life were different or hard, it’s nothing compared to what I’m about to go through. I just wish I would have been able to see into the future and I might have done things differently.