Chapter 12
“This isn’t a date.”
Not exactly the first words Zander expected out of Penny’s mouth after she’d climbed into his truck.
“Not that you think it’s a date, I just wanted you to know I don’t think it’s a date,” she continued, sliding her hands beneath her legs as her knees bounced.
“Because, you know, there’s a date feel with the whole pick you up at eight thing and the Fairy Light Magic, which can be romantic.
I mean, I wasn’t going with RJ romantically, but a lot of people do.
Go romantically. On dates. But not us. Actually, I’m not even sure why RJ suggested this. ”
Zander nodded and bit back a smile. “Don’t worry, Penny. I know.”
For a woman not on a date, Penny looked really damn cute in a red T-shirt, white denim shorts that showed a dangerous amount of skin, and white sneakers. Her eyelashes looked a little thicker than usual, and her hair was in a long blond braid down her back.
Zander tore his eyes off her thighs and dragged them back to the road as he tugged at his collar. A T-shirt would have been fine, but he’d made the mistake of mentioning the outing to Quinn, who then bombarded him with fashion tips.
Don’t shave. The scruffy thing works for you. And wear the navy blue button-down. Thank me later.
Not a date, he’d replied back quickly.
To which Quinn had simply said, and Mal says the brown belt. xoxo
And yeah, he’d worn the button-down and the brown belt. He’d get hell from Quinn otherwise.
“So.” He tapped the steering wheel as his truck rumbled down the long drive the Becker property shared with his grandfather’s house. “How was your day?”
“Fine. Had the market this morning, then, you know, did bee things.”
“Bee things?”
“Yep.” Penny’s knee was about to bounce her out of the truck.
“Hey.” Zander turned onto the two-lane road. On the dash, his phone was set to direct him about fifteen miles out to the Fairy Light Magic spot. “We just established this isn’t a date, so relax. We don’t have to be awkward.”
“I’m not being awkward.”
He laughed. “Bee things?”
“What? That’s what I did.”
“Okay. How was the market? Any signs of Brad Preston?”
He caught a glimpse of Penny’s grin. “Nope. Not sure he’ll be back anytime soon.”
“I’m sorry if I lost you a customer.”
“Eh.” She shrugged. “I’m not.”
Zander’s face warmed. “I will always remember the look on his face when I apologized.”
“I remember when you hit him that summer. It was all anyone could talk about.”
Zander tugged at his collar again. “I’m not a violent person. I didn’t go around punching people.”
“I know. I’m sure I would’ve heard about it if you had.”
“I imagine so.” He laughed as they drove through a neighboring town, its main road lined with shops and restaurants just like in Sullivan’s Glen. “That day, he said something about my mom. That’s why I made an exception.”
“I understand, and I’m sorry that happened.” After a beat of silence, Penny continued. “I’ve heard she was really beautiful.”
He arched his brows. “I’m sure that’s not all you heard.”
She shifted, sliding her hands beneath her thighs again. “Will you tell me about her? So I know more than the gossip?”
They pulled up to a stoplight, giving him a chance to look at Penny fully—her inquisitive blue eyes and innocently freckled cheeks.
“My mom is a complicated person,” he said finally.
“She’s diagnosed bipolar now, among other stuff she has going on, so I imagine that was at play back then.
From what she’s said, she and her dad never got along.
I almost suspect she got pregnant so that he’d kick her out and she’d have a final excuse to hate him.
” When the light turned, he pressed on the gas with some relief.
It was easier to talk about his mom while they were moving.
“She could be really fun, though. Sometimes she’d pack up the car with snacks and keep me out of school to go to Lake Michigan for the day, or we’d stay up all night watching old movies while she painted her nails and re-dyed her hair. ”
Later, Zander would understand that these high-energy periods were part of the cycle of her illness, but as a kid he’d looked forward to them, waited for them.
“She has a tendency to self-medicate with alcohol and sometimes other stuff, and the cycles became too much for me. I, uh, went no contact with her a year or so ago, but I hope that doesn’t have to last forever. ”
Penny’s hand landed on his shoulder, just briefly enough for him to feel the warmth before it was gone. “I hope so, too.”
She looked out her window as the town thinned around them, speaking quietly.
“It’s more complicated than I thought it would be.
Working with my mom and grandma all these years.
Sometimes my mom especially makes me want to…
” She sighed. “Who knew being an adult with your parent could be so crazy-making, you know?”
“Oh, come on, Becker.” Zander shot her a grin. “Remember, you have the perfect happy family. Don’t ruin it for me.”
But really, he wanted her to do just that. To show him she was as real as he was.
“I know we’re lucky to still work together and like each other after all this time,” she said. “But sometimes I look at my mom and wonder if we’re actually related. She’s always trusting in the universe, believing things will just come together.”
“Meanwhile, you’re doing the work to make sure everything doesn’t fall apart.”
Penny was silent as they approached another red light, but Zander sensed her attention. When he looked her way, she was watching him, head slightly tilted.
“Yeah,” she said. “It kind of feels like that a lot of the time.” She cleared her throat. “Um. So. How was your day?”
Zander wet his dry lips, trying to keep himself from staring at the seat belt cutting across Penny’s body. He’d never been so jealous of a piece of fabric. “It was fine.”
Penny’s brows raised. “Fine? Who’s being awkward now?”
His grin almost hurt his cheeks. “Why would I be awkward? This isn’t a—”
A horn blared behind them, making Zander jump in his seat.
“Jesus.” He returned his attention to the road as they moved through the intersection. “My day was interesting. I did work in the house this morning, then experimented with the recipes RJ showed me this week—he’s very good, by the way.”
“Sometimes I’m afraid people are going to fight over those pies. Are you adjusting his recipes? I mean, how are you going to help him?”
“I’m going to help him one step at a time.
Honestly, the baking part was more fun for me than anything, but after my attempts today, I’ll leave that to him.
This week his homework is to track the ingredients he’s using so we can break down a realistic cost per pie instead of just guessing. And speaking of homework, I did mine.”
Penny tucked her feet under her as she looked at him. “Oh, I didn’t expect you to get to it so quickly.”
“You dropped it off Tuesday,” Zander answered, grinning at the memory of stepping onto his porch at 7 a.m. only to find an envelope from Penny waiting for him. She was certainly a busy bee.
“I finished up Thursday but figured we could talk about it in person tonight.”
“Okay, yeah. What did you—I mean, do you have opinions? Thoughts?”
He sure did. And he wasn’t sure she’d want to hear them.
“Penny, I’ll say this as nicely as possible, but what the hell are you doing?
” Another traffic light gave him the chance to look at her.
“When RJ mentioned the festival, it sounded like a community project. I figured you were the main organizer, but that it was put on by some municipal entity. But it’s all you.
The entire festival is financed by Becker Farms.”
Her cheeks went pink as her jaw tensed. “We always break even.”
“Yes, I saw that. And it’s impressive, seriously.
” This time, he was paying enough attention to see the light change.
No more distracting eye contact with Penny.
“But it’s also a huge risk, and it’s all on you.
This festival clearly benefits Sullivan’s Glen, so the township—or, at the very least, an LLC made up of stakeholders—should be managing part of it. ”
Penny swallowed. “I’m not sure what that would look like, but if it will help with the money aspect, I can try to look up—”
“It’s too late this year, anyway.” Zander’s tone was sharper than he intended, but he was frustrated as hell that the whole town would let Penny plan an entire festival and take on all the risk.
Someone else should have stepped up long before now.
He let out a deep breath. “I’m not saying you’ve done anything wrong.
You’ve done a kick-ass job of this. But you should be getting more help from the people who benefit from the festival.
I’ll send you some sample agreements that I’ve used in establishing some LLCs for restaurant ventures, okay?
It could be a place to start for next year. ”
“Sure.” Her voice rolled along a sigh. “Next year.”
Zander turned and followed the GPS down a narrow road that curved between vineyard rows. As the sun dipped below the line of trees on the hill to the west, the sky deepened into a dark blue.
“But for this year, I have some ideas for some folks I can contact to cut costs. I know a guy who owns an equipment rental company who does work up here, and he owes me a favor, so I’ll start there.
By leveraging some connections I have, and building in some efficiencies, I think I found us some ways to save money. ”
Penny perked up at that, sitting up straight. “That would be amazing. But what’s this us?”
“Us. You and me.” He turned down a dirt road, the darkness closing over them as they drew closer to the twinkling lights. “The planners of the Sullivan’s Glen Honey Festival.”
“I said you could have one job. I never agreed to be an us.”
“It was a trial job, and I killed it!” Lines of cars were parked in a clearing, and Zander pulled into a spot. When he shut off the truck and turned toward Penny, her face was barely visible as lights in the forest glowed.
“Tell me why.” He took his seat belt off and leaned back against the window. “If you’re going to turn me down again, tell me why. Is it because you don’t trust me? Because you think I’ll mess it up?”
Penny crossed her arms over her chest. “Contrary to what you might think, this isn’t all about you.”
“What’s it about, then? Why do you hate accepting help?”
“I don’t.”
“Cut the crap, Penny. You seem determined to carry the world on your shoulders. What, do you get off on the martyrdom?”
She gasped. “I don’t get off on anything.”
“Then why—”
“Because most people who say they want to help get bored pretty damn quick, Zander. Because I’ve made plans thinking I’d have help only to end up doing everything alone, and it fucking sucked.”
Seeing anger and sadness in Penny’s eyes, Zander knew there were stories there. Stories about people who had let Penny down, starting with her father, who’d taken off before he ever even saw his golden-haired daughter. Stories he didn’t have any right asking about, as much as he wanted to.
“This last school year,” he said, “Winter started getting into math I didn’t know how to do.
I can do the basics, of course, and can use formulas to my advantage in a spreadsheet.
But Winter was starting to do some stuff with angles and geometry and multiplying fractions, stuff I never grabbed ahold of in school.
It sucked not being able to help him. He’d get frustrated and start freaking out, and I was no use.
So one night I told him I’d learn it. I’d learn all the math so we could do it together. ”
“All the math?”
“Well,” he hedged. “All the math I needed to know to help my fifth grader. I ordered myself some workbooks, watched videos while I was working out. It was elementary school math all the time. At the end of the year, I asked his teacher to give me an exam, and guess what?”
“You passed?”
“Passed? Please.” Zander hit the steering wheel. “I got an A. When I decide to do something, I do it. I know people have let you down before, and I’m sorry that’s happened. But if I tell you I’m going to help with the festival, you can trust that I’ll help with the festival.”
Penny’s smile was unmistakable, even in the dim truck. “I’ve never known anyone who begged to volunteer their time.”
“Well, Becker, maybe you’ve never known anyone like me.”
“Yeah,” she said slowly. “Maybe not.”
Her tongue swiped her bottom lip just once, and Zander’s whole body went on alert. He was in his truck in a dark forest with Penny Becker, her freckles barely visible and her lips glistening.
Zander’s hands flexed in his lap, itching to wrap around her braid and pull her closer to him. To show her how determined he could be when he set his mind to it.
What the hell did this woman do to him?
“Fine,” she finally sighed. “You can help. But don’t make me regret it or I’ll kick your ass.”