Chapter 14 #2
But Mallory hadn’t thought much of the peace they were seeking.
According to her, everything started going wrong when her parents enrolled her in ballet, where she eventually tore her hair out of the restrictive bun and refused to wear the special shoes and the ballet tights that matched everyone’s skin tone but hers.
As Mallory grew, so did her rebellions, and her parents responded to each incident by tightening the rules.
Lower grades resulted in being grounded from seeing friends; nights out past curfew meant losing her phone and driving privileges.
Eventually Mallory snuck around and defied them at every turn.
The pattern persisted until Zander and Mallory skipped town.
They’d already divorced when Mallory reestablished her relationship with her parents, but Zander had seen them now and then on their trips to Boston.
They had a cordial relationship, all things considered.
But he realized now, swaying slightly in the swing with Mallory’s mom, that he really didn’t know her at all.
She was his son’s grandmother, but he’d wrapped Candace up in all his other mess from Sullivan’s Glen, thrown it in the closet of his mind, and stuck a “not worth it” label on the door.
“You don’t have to be scared of me, Zander.”
He laughed awkwardly. “I’m not scared. Not exactly.”
“I would understand, of course. I was angry at you for a very long time.”
In the modest front yard, a red bird landed on a feeder. “I can understand that.”
Candace looked sideways at him, something mischievous sparkling in her eyes. “Can you? I blamed you for taking my girl, for keeping her from us. When I didn’t know where she was, or how she was…” She shuddered.
Zander squeezed his hands into fists, knowing he’d caused some of that painful quiver in Candace’s voice.
Not that he’d do anything different if given another chance. He’d loved Mallory, and she’d wanted to leave, so they’d left. To eighteen-year-old Zander, it was the most uncomplicated, soul-affirming thing he’d ever done, and the catalyst for the rest of his life.
“But I know it wasn’t just you,” Candace continued.
“We didn’t know how to parent Mallory, not when that spirit she had didn’t match with what we thought our life should look like.
When Isaiah and I moved up here from the city, we had this idea of how things would go.
It felt worth it to move farther from our families, even to choose a place with so few other Black families, to have this ideal life for Mallory, where there was fresh air and space, where she could be valedictorian and prom queen.
Where she could have everything I didn’t. ”
Candace stretched her legs out in front of her, crossing her ankles. “I couldn’t let go of that vision, that idea of what our life would look like, of who my daughter should be. I held on so tight to it that I lost her, and it was the worst thing that ever happened to me.”
Zander imagined losing Winter that way, and the unfillable hole he’d carry around each day. “I’m sorry I contributed to that.”
Candace chuckled quietly as she patted his knee.
“I know. But I also know we weren’t what Mallory needed then.
” Zander finally looked away from the bird and at Candace, who had Mallory’s coffee and cinnamon eyes.
“But you were, Zander. You were there for her when I couldn’t be.
And instead of hating you for that, I’ve decided to love you for it. ”
Something broke open in Zander—small but heavy, cracking now to relieve the pressure in his chest. The child still in him lapped up the word love like an eager puppy, and from the knowing look in Candace’s eyes, she might have known how rarely he’d heard it.
Zander pushed words past the lump in his throat. “Thank you.”
It was quiet but for an occasional birdcall or a burst of loud laughter from inside. A stark difference from the urban soundscape of Boston, which Zander found he didn’t miss at all.
Finally, Candace sighed. “That’s enough touchy-feely for me. Care to tell me why you were seen sneaking off into the forest with Penny Becker last night?”
That certainly broke him out of his emotional stupor. “What?”
“I heard you two broke the rules and went off the path.”
Zander rubbed his face as he tried to keep up. “We were fifteen miles away from here. Who even saw us?”
Candace’s regal brows arched. “It’s true, then?”
This fucking place. A guy couldn’t engage in any innocent shenanigans without being discovered. “Yes, I was at the fairy light thing with Penny, and yes, I may have gone slightly off the path looking for an owl.”
“Mallory said you’re helping with the Honey Festival.”
“I am,” he answered cautiously. “I’m keeping a deal I made with Winter, to really try to get to know this place and make it a great summer.”
She nodded. “Penny Becker is a special woman. She means a lot to this place, and she holds up a lot of it on her own.”
“I’ve gotten that sense, yes.”
“There was a man, some years back, who was supposed to help her with it all.”
Zander recalled their conversation in the forest, how much he’d wanted to hear more about Penny’s past. “Henry?”
Candace nodded. “They met at some conference or other, and he came back here with her. He was a bright guy, always full of ideas, but definitely a free spirit. He’d leave town for a bit and come back.
Then do it again. I’m not sure what kind of arrangement he had with Penny, but she seemed to welcome him back each time.
But then Henry left again, and this time he didn’t come back. ”
Candace straightened, watching him keenly. “You know why I’m telling you this?”
“Penny and I aren’t—” he started. “We’re just—” What were they, actually? “We’re working on the festival together, that’s all.”
Except for when they were talking through open windows, sneaking through the forest, or kissing against her door.
“And I’m happy you’re doing that. I’m just letting you know that Penny has a history of men leaving this place. I know your heart is in the right place, but for Penny’s sake, you might want to proceed with caution.”
He’d known he was playing with fire walking through the magical forest with her, kissing her like she was the fresh air he craved.
He’d be back in Boston in just over two months, and no matter how much he helped with the festival between now and then, no matter how much he really liked her, at the end of it all Penny Becker would be here, holding the world on her shoulders all alone. Again.
Candace patted him on the shoulder, batting away his attempt to help as she slowly stood. “Just be careful, Zander. If you decide to do more than festival planning, make sure you both understand how much you can give.”
When he looked back to the yard as Candace went inside, the red bird had flown away.