30. fallon
THIRTY
fallon
T he air in the small café is thick with the smell of roasted coffee beans and the soft hum of quiet conversations. The sun has begun to set outside, casting a warm, golden glow through the windows. I sit across from Hayes, my hands trembling, though I try to keep them steady as I cradle my coffee cup, my fingers wrapped around it to steady the storm of emotions brewing inside me.
Hayes is quiet, watching me closely, his gaze steady but full of something I can’t quite name. His presence here, in this café, is surreal. I still feel the weight of his words from earlier, his promise that he wanted to explain everything. But now, as we sit together, the silence between us is heavy, and I’m unsure how I’m supposed to feel. A part of him is still closed off and still hidden from me.
I sip my coffee, and Hayes finally speaks, breaking the stillness. “I know this has been confusing, Fallon,” he begins, his voice low, almost apologetic. “Raquel and I... we have a history. We dated once, but it was never really... love. It was more of an expectation. An obligation to our families.”
His words hit me like a punch to the gut. “An obligation?” I ask, keeping my voice lowered. “You’re telling me you’re with her because your family expects it?”
Hayes nods slowly, his eyes briefly darting down to his hands before meeting mine again. “Yeah. In a way, Raquel and I were... always meant to be a business arrangement. But I never wanted that. I didn’t want her. And I sure as hell don’t want this marriage.” He pauses, his voice heavy with the weight of everything unsaid. “But I have no choice.”
I stare at him, unable to process the depth of what he’s saying. My heart beats so loudly in my chest that I can barely hear his words. “But why come to me? Why are you telling me all of this now, Hayes?”
He leans back in his chair, his expression pained. “Because I can’t keep lying to you, Fallon. Not anymore.” He pulls a check from his pocket and slides it across the table. “I didn’t persuade any shareholders to vote for you. They were impressed with everything you’ve done for Sanderling. The community, the store, everything. They saw your vision. You earned that grant.” He meets my gaze, his voice a little softer. “And as for your application for the retail space? My father withdrew FFJ’s application. That’s why it took so long for yours to be approved. He was the one holding you back. He wanted me to get close to you.”
My breath catches in my throat as the realization hits me. All this time, I’d been fighting so hard for a dream I didn’t even know was being sabotaged by the people I thought were helping me. “Why didn’t you tell me all of this before?” I ask, my voice shaking with frustration, hurt, and confusion. “Why did you let me think you felt something for me?”
Hayes doesn’t answer right away. He looks at me, his gaze searching like he’s trying to find the right words. “I wanted to tell you. I’ve wanted to tell you for so long. But I couldn’t, Fallon. I was trapped. My father holds all the cards, and I’m not in a position to make any decisions without his approval. If I don’t follow through with this marriage and don’t do what he expects, people will be hurt.”
His eyes darken with regret. “It’s not just about me, Fallon. It’s about everyone else who depends on me. I don’t have the luxury of making choices that affect just me.”
As much as I can empathize with him, I can’t help but feel a deep sense of betrayal. All this time, I believed in him. Believed in us. But how could I when his entire life had been dictated by someone else? “And what about us?” I ask, the words slipping out before I can stop them. “What about me, Hayes? What about what we had? Was any of it real?”
His expression softens, and for the first time, I see the vulnerability in his eyes that I haven’t noticed before. “It was real, Fallon. Everything between us was real. But I can’t ask you to understand what I’ve been through and still going through. I can’t ask you to wait while I’m tied to all this... obligation.”
Tears pool in my eyes, but I blink them back, trying to hold myself together. “So, what now? You’re just going to walk away and marry her? You’re going to go back to your life, and I’m supposed to just accept it?”
He stands up suddenly, his chair scraping against the floor. “I wish I could change things. I wish I could fix it all and make it right. But I can’t, Fallon. I can’t change what I’ve already done.” He walks toward the door but then pauses to face me one last time. “I’m not asking for you to forgive me. I know I haven’t earned that. But I just…” He quiets then, then allows the smallest of grins to lift the corner of his mouth. “I cannot live without my life. I cannot live without my soul.”
And then, he’s gone.
“I cannot live without my life,” I repeat slowly. Wuthering Heights. He just quoted something Heathcliff said after Catherine’s death. It’s something he said in grief, unable to cope with the absence of her in his life. He was forever haunted by the loss of her.
Fuck, that’s the most romantic thing he’s ever said to me.
But if that’s how he feels about me, if the loss of us, if the loss of me in his life brings him so much pain, there’s more to the story than what he’s telling me.
Something isn’t sitting right. He came all this way, put himself through all of this... to explain, to reveal parts of his life I never knew existed. He’s hiding something from me. I know it. And if I’m ever going to understand the whole picture, I need answers. I need to know what’s happening behind all the secrecy and obligations.
* * *
The plane ride back to New Hampshire was long, but I couldn’t stop thinking about everything Hayes had said. It’s a tangled web of family, obligation, and sacrifice. But I need to know more. I need to understand why he’s willing to destroy everything and why he was willing to let us go.
I found myself walking into the FFJ offices after commandeering Thomas’ car for a drive to Boston, looking for anyone who could help me. Hell, I’ll seek out Frank Fitzgerald himself if necessary.
I spot Andrew in the lobby, coming out of the elevator, and my heart skips a beat. I don’t waste time walking up to him. “Andrew,” I say, my voice tight with determination, “you need to explain to me what’s really going on. All of it.”
Andrew pauses, his brow furrowing in confusion. “Fallon, what are you doing here?”
“I need the truth,” I say, my voice shaking with frustration. “I need you to tell me everything.”
He looks around as if trying to decide whether to tell me. Finally, sighing, he leads me to a quieter lobby area. “Fitz made a deal with his father, Fallon,” he says quietly. “If he marries Raquel, Frank agreed to stop pursuing the location in Sanderling and leave you alone. Raquel’s father is the majority owner of FFJ Holdings. Hayes didn’t want any part of this, but he’s been backed into a corner. He risks losing everything if he doesn’t follow through with the marriage.”
My chest tightens. “He did this for me?”
Andrew nods. “Exactly. Hayes is stuck, Fallon. He never should have been put in this position. He’s been forced into making a decision he didn’t want to make. And that’s why he hasn’t been able to tell you everything.”
My knees might give out. Hayes is sacrificing his future to ensure I have mine. He’s willing to live in a forced marriage to allow me my future without his father trying to destroy it. “He loves me,” I say aloud as realization dawns on me—all of it. His distance and avoidance—he’s been running because he developed feelings for me.
God, it’s like when the boys on the playground torture you because they have a crush on you. Why couldn’t he just share this information with me? We could’ve found a solution instead of him sacrificing his entire future.
“I need to stop this. I need to stop him from making this sacrifice.” My fists clench at my sides. “Where is Frank’s office?”
Andrew hesitates for a moment before telling me. I won’t waste another second. I storm out of the lobby and take the elevator up to the top floor, my heart pounding in my chest as I prepare to confront the man who has forced Hayes into this impossible situation. The only problem is that FFJ’s offices are massive and make me feel like I’m in a maze.
I’m about to ask the secretary at the front desk where to locate Frank, but I feel a hand on the small of my back gently guiding me toward a door on the left. Andrew is trailing behind me, but Jace is leading me away.
“He was meeting me for lunch,” Andrew informs me. “He saw you get on the elevator and wants to help.”
“I might owe you an apology,” Jace says, though his smugness is still very prominent. “To be honest, Fitz has needed someone like you in his life for a long time.”
“Thank you,” I say softly. “I’ve needed him, too.”
Jace opens a door that leads into a separate wing of offices, then points to an empty office on the right. “This will belong to Hayes someday. He chose it as a child because he can see the water below.”
The vision of a small Hayes running through this place warms me, and I glance at Jace. “He loves you, you know.”
Jace’s expression falters momentarily, his smile fading into a more serious, contemplative look. “I know. I don’t make it easy for him.”
I give him a playful shrug. “Not hitting on me might help.”
A chuckle rumbles through his chest. “Noted.”
We approach another secretary sitting at a desk perpendicular to a large office. The door is closed, but I can see through the windows on either side, which gives me a glimpse of the Boston skyline just outside.
“Cynthia,” Andrew greets. “Frank in?”
“He is, but?—”
I step past the secretary, barely acknowledging her, as I march into Frank Fitzgerald’s office. She calls for me to stop and tells Andrew that Frank is on the phone, but a freight train wouldn’t be able to stop me from speaking to this man.
Frank Fitzgerald’s office is exactly what I expected: cold, sterile, and entirely devoid of warmth. The polished wood furniture, the expensive art on the walls, the massive desk that seemed to put him on a pedestal—I can feel the weight of his power, his control, pressing down on me the second I step inside. But none of that matters. I came here with a single purpose and won’t leave until I’ve clarified myself.
Frank Fitzgerald is sitting behind his desk, leaned back in his chair while talking to someone on the phone. He barely glances my way when I burst through his office door.
Jace and Andrew trail in behind me like two bodyguards.
“I assume you know why I’m here,” I shout, my voice cold and unwavering.
Frank looks from me to Andrew to Jace, then mutters something to the person on the other end of the call and places the receiver down. “Andrew. Jace.” His greeting is dry. “And I assume you’re Fallon.” He isn’t actually asking. He knows exactly who I am. I hate how he looks at me—as if I’m just another obstacle in his plan, something to be dealt with quickly and efficiently.
I slam the grant check down onto his desk, the thick paper making a sharp sound as it lands. “I refuse to accept this,” I say, my voice dripping with fury. “I’m here to tell you that I’m not taking a single dime from you or your company. I’m not going to be part of the scheme you’ve created to ruin your son’s life.”
Frank raises an eyebrow, unbothered by my outburst. He doesn’t flinch. “I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”
I don’t let him get away with playing innocent. “Cut the bullshit, Frank. I know what’s going on. You’ve set this entire thing up so that Hayes has to marry Raquel to keep her father from pushing you out of your precious business. You’re too much of a coward to handle your own problems, so you’ve dragged your son into it.”
I step closer to him, my hands clenched into fists by my sides. “You want to talk about sacrifice, Frank? Look at what you’ve done to him. You’ve asked him to marry someone he doesn’t love just to save your skin, and you don’t even have the decency to give him a choice in the matter. How fucking lucky you are to still have your family intact while you’ve completely destroyed your son’s chance at happiness. You’ve put his whole future on the line so that you can keep your power. You’re an ass.”
Frank’s face darkens, but I don’t care. I’m not afraid of him. And looking at him, I’m not sure why everyone else is either. “You don’t understand the magnitude of the situation, Fallon,” he says, his tone low and threatening. “This isn’t just about Hayes. It’s about the future of this company and the livelihoods of the people who depend on it. I didn’t make the rules. I’m doing what I have to do to secure our legacy.”
I laugh bitterly. “Secure your legacy? Is that what you’re calling it? You’re not securing anything. You’re just a man too afraid to stand up to Raquel’s father, so you’re sacrificing your son to protect your pride.” I fold my arms over my chest and shrug. “If you were actually decent at your job, you wouldn’t be so afraid of losing control. If you were good at what you do, you wouldn’t have to manipulate your son into marrying someone just to keep the business from slipping through your fingers.”
My eyes narrowed with uncontained rage. “You’re a coward. A selfish, power-hungry coward. And I will not be part of this. I won’t take your grant money, and I won’t let you use me to keep your son trapped in this mess. If you want to fight for control, come at me with everything you’ve got. Because I’m not going anywhere. I won’t let you destroy him like this. I won’t let Hayes sacrifice his future just because you’re too weak to deal with your own problems.”
Frank’s jaw tightens, his fists clenching on the armrests of his chair, but he says nothing. He doesn’t need to. The tension in the air is thick, and I feel the gravity of the moment. I’m going to walk away from this. Not when it’s about Hayes. I won’t let Hayes sacrifice his happiness and future to satisfy Frank’s ego.
“You think you can just walk away from all of this?” Frank asks; his voice is quieter now but still full of contempt. “You think you can make demands when you’re not even part of this family?”
I stand straighter, feeling the weight of my decision settling over me like a shield. “I’m not part of your family, Frank. And that’s the point. I’m not going to be your pawn. I won’t let you use me as leverage to get what you want. If you think I’ll just sit back and let you manipulate everything, you’re wrong.”
His eyes burn with anger, but I don’t flinch. I’ve made my decision, and I won’t back down.
I turn, heading for the door without a second glance, but Andrew stops me with a gentle touch on my arm. “Wait,” he says, looking directly at Frank. “I quit. I’ve spent years watching you tear down Hayes when all he’s ever wanted was a little respect from his father. I won’t be part of it anymore.”
Jace’s parting goodbye is to flip Frank off with both middle fingers, slipping a bottle of whiskey from his alcohol cart before following me and Andrew out.
I hook my arm through Andrew’s. “Take me to Fitz.”