Chapter Sixteen
After three days, Kayla had gotten used to waking up wrapped tightly in the cocoon of Mack’s arms. This time, she freely admitted to herself that she loved the feeling of being held.
More specifically, she loved the feeling of being held by Mack.
While she had always known Mack gave the best hugs, she had never fully appreciated the utter bliss of being held by her.
It was most likely the lingering effects of yesterday’s kiss.
Not to mention the way Mack had defended her at dinner the previous night.
Kayla had never experienced the thrill of being fought over by a pair of butches.
She had to admit it was a wonderfully empowering feeling.
Although it was clear Skye was more interested in defending herself, Mack’s reaction certainly felt like a dose of marking her territory.
And she’d thought she couldn’t pull off the fake dating thing.
Look how easily she’d slipped into the role of protective girlfriend.
And the fact that she had no problems calling Skye out right to her face was downright sexy.
Skye had been wrong in her accusation, of course.
Mack never treated Kayla like she was delicate or breakable.
In fact, without Mack’s steady encouragement, she wouldn’t work out nearly as hard as she did now that she didn’t have a paycheck dependent upon it.
She was just more careful and creative about finding ways to help strengthen Kayla without causing her further injury.
It was something Kayla herself wasn’t great at—Dr. Hell on Heels said it was an artifact of her denial over the extent of her injury.
When she first understood how severe the injury was, she fell into a deep depression.
It hadn’t just been about the pain and limitations.
She’d lost her lifelong dream along with all that cartilage and tendon.
She had been all set to give up on physical therapy, but Mack wouldn’t let her.
She went with her to sessions and adjusted their runs and hikes to build her muscle and stamina back without taking her too far.
Mack had been wrong, too, though. Despite the angry words, Kayla knew Skye hadn’t been trying to hurt her.
Skye just thought the best way for her to recover from her injury was to act like it never happened.
After all, Skye was an athlete and that had worked for her in the past. It worked for Kayla, too, for little things.
But those little things were what led to the big thing and this injury wasn’t like anything either of them had ever experienced.
Plus, Kayla had been head-over-heels in love.
When Skye wanted to do something wild, Kayla wanted to do it with her.
Life with Skye had been full of exhilarating highs, which always led to deeper lows.
Skye didn’t understand limits, and that was one of the things Kayla had fallen in love with.
It had been what made their relationship passionate and exciting.
Skye lived her life out loud in a way no one Kayla had ever met.
It was intoxicating to be in her orbit, and Kayla craved being caught up again.
Every day was a party with Skye, and Kayla tended to forget her own limits when they were together.
Most days that was fine, but sometimes she paid for it.
She didn’t want to be in pain for the rest of her life.
She didn’t want to have to think about the way she ran or even walked.
She didn’t want her injury to be her whole life, and most of the time with Skye, it wasn’t. Until, inevitably, it was.
So, the truth was they were both right. More than that, they were the two best things in Kayla’s life.
They both loved her fiercely. They both wanted the best for her, they just had two very different ideas of what that was.
They had both earned her trust and love.
No matter what, she couldn’t lose either of them.
She really liked Amy—even more so after last night. She didn’t want to hurt her, but she couldn’t let her marry Skye. If they got married, Kayla would lose her for the second time. She couldn’t let that happen. She didn’t think she could survive it.
Kayla had already lost too much. Too many versions of herself.
Too many futures that would never be. If she lost Skye for good—if she lost the future of them married, raising a brood of tiny, obnoxious, competitive weirdos with Skye’s eyes and her stubbornness—Kayla wouldn’t survive.
It would break her more completely than any injury or career loss ever could.
Kayla closed her eyes to shut off the thoughts of what a future like that would be like.
She squeezed so hard that her head ached and tears sprang up in the corners of her eyes.
She clenched her teeth until they felt like they would split down the center.
She would not let those thoughts in. She would not lose. Not again.
Just when she thought the intrusive thoughts would break through, Mack groaned gently and rolled onto her back.
Kayla was suddenly freezing cold, and the loss of touch when she was so raw made a hollow open in the pit of her stomach.
Should she roll over and cuddle Mack to get the warmth back?
It would be impossible to pretend this cuddling was an unconscious movement.
It would mean she’d have to accept and maybe—God forbid—admit to Mack that she enjoyed their nighttime embraces.
“What the hell,” she mumbled to herself. “I’m cold.”
Even as she rolled over and cuddled into Mack’s side, she knew it had nothing to do with body temperature. Cuddling with Mack felt good. It felt right. She needed that right now, with the fear creeping in around the edges.
As she rested her head on Mack’s shoulder, she knew she’d made the right call.
Her cheek settled against the solidity of Mack’s muscular shoulder, stretching her skin pleasantly.
Mack’s long hair tickled her nose, but it still held the slightest hint of mint shampoo and warm cotton.
The intrusive thoughts didn’t disappear, and her fear wasn’t completely gone, but when her head rose and fell ever so slightly with each of Mack’s deep breaths, they seemed manageable.
As her own breathing slowed, she closed her eyes.
Just for a second. Just to focus her attention on her body and the way it relaxed into this moment.
When their alarm blared through the room a long time later, Kayla suddenly jerked awake. How had she managed to fall back to sleep after coming that close to a panic attack?
“LaLa?” Mack’s voice was groggy and confused.
“I guess you aren’t the only active sleeper,” Kayla said.
They laughed, but it was a little strained. Not only had she wrapped her arm around Mack’s torso, but she had slid one leg across her as well. Her knee hovered dangerously close to intimate areas. Before she could think too much about it, she hustled to the bathroom to change for their morning run.
“Oh my God, I love your nails. Did you get those done here on the resort? I just adore the colors.”
Kayla was laying it on too thick, but the spa receptionist gave her an indulgent smile that seemed to ask, “Why do white women always do this?” At least she hadn’t complimented her hair. Or, cringiest of all, tried to touch it.
“No ma’am. My sister does my nails. She has a shop in town if you’d like the address, the shuttle can take you,” the receptionist said.
Mack snickered behind her. She’d walked right into that one.
“Maybe next time.” Kayla leaned in close to whisper. “I was hoping I could convince you to do me a favor.”
“I’ll do everything I can to make your stay at Rainbow Sands more enjoyable, madame.”
Kayla pulled a twenty-dollar bill out of her pocket and laid it on the counter. “My friend back here. She and her fiancée, Amy, want to be taken back for their massages first.”
The receptionist’s eyes flitted to the cash, then over her shoulder at Mack, who had dropped into a chair next to the complimentary snacks and champagne. “You aren’t her fiancée?”
“No. She’s with Amy. Dr. Amy Nielsen. Blonde, super short, bubbly, with a bow in her hair. You can make that happen for them, can’t you?”
She flicked her eyes down at the money pointedly, and Kayla sighed, sliding another twenty on top of the first. When the receptionist only continued to smile, Kayla widened her eyes.
The receptionist just grinned and waited.
Kayla sighed. Whatever. She would pay whatever it took to pull this off, but between the bribe and the cost of the massages themselves, she was going to be eating nothing but rice for a month.
Kayla slapped the last bill down and raised her eyebrows in challenge at the receptionist. If she didn’t accept this quickly, Skye and Amy would get here and the jig would be up. Fortunately, she reached out, tapping her gaudily manicured nails on the counter as she slid the money into her pocket.
“Certainly, madame. As I said, anything to make your stay at Rainbow Sands more enjoyable.”
Kayla’s return smile was more fangs than teeth. “You’re a life-saver. Thanks.”
“What was that all about?” Mack asked as Kayla dropped into the armchair beside her.
She didn’t have a chance to answer because at that moment the spa door swung open to admit Skye and Amy.
Just like every time she saw them together, Kayla’s stomach twisted.
Her eyes locked on Skye’s arm wrapped around Amy’s waist. She could still remember the weight of that touch.
The intimacy of it. The promise of a future.
She would do just about anything—including humiliating herself in a moderately successful bribery attempt—to get that future back.
“Hey, you two,” Amy called with a cheery wave.