Chapter 15
“Honey! Quis!”
My face lit up at the sight of Jenifer. She’d emerged from her car and had closed the distance between us in the blink of an eye. She bent down to hug Quis first, as most people did. Then she straightened up and pulled me into the tightest hug.
Jenifer’s embrace was like a warm cup of coffee in the wintertime. She felt like home. She felt safe. She felt… familiar.
“Best friend,” I sang in her ear as we swayed from side to side. It felt refreshing to be in her embrace. If we weren’t in the pickup zone of the busiest airport in Houston, I would have crumbled in her arms. However, I held it together long enough to get our bags in her trunk and Quis buckled into the back seat.
We were in a comfortable silence until she maneuvered out of the windy roads of the airport. As she merged onto the toll road, we glanced at each other and squealed like schoolgirls.
“I’m happy to see you, best friend,” I stated in a soft tone. I reached over and rubbed her arm.
It had taken longer than I wanted to get back home. I thought I could up and leave the next day, but unfortunately, I had to get a lot of things in order before I up and left the state. After getting a temporary manager in place at the restaurant, canceling the remaining appearances for the month, and making flight arrangements for Moe to join us later in the week, I was finally back home. Houston, Texas.
The streets were busy, like always. Life moved around me as I braced myself to see family. I prayed none of these so-called holy and sanctified Christians were on bullshit. The death of the matriarch in a family could cause the whole tree to fall. With as many daughters as Granny Janie had, one of them would have to step up and continue on in her legacy.
Granny Janie left big shoes to fill, though.
“Looks like the flight caught up with my puddin’ cup,” Jenifer whispered as she bobbed her head toward the back seat.
I craned my neck to see my boy out like a light. “Yeah, it was a long one. Even in first class, I couldn’t get comfortable. He opted to watching cartoons the whole time, so I’m glad he can get a little rest on the ride to my parents’ house.”
“Are you staying with them or getting a hotel?”
“Girl, I’m staying with them. Free babysitting, free meals, and free beds. Okay?”
“I know that’s right.”
We were silent for a while longer. I wanted to gather my words carefully to avoid a river of tears.
“Thank you again for being here for me when I needed you. I wasn’t sure I would have been able to hold it together if my mom and dad were the ones who picked me up.”
“Of course. You know I’m always gon’ pull up when you need me.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do, Jen…” The frog leaped into the base of my throat like he belonged there. The itchiness in my eyes irritated me more. Crying was a given. It was the unexpected sobs that got on my nerves. I should have been able to hold it together. I should have been able to have a simple conversation without the tears, without the pain in my heart, and without the ache in my spirit.
“It’s going to be rough, girl. Allow yourself the grace to have these moments, especially with it being so fresh. Never be upset about releasing your emotions. It’s when you bottle that shit up and explode that will warrant an apology.”
“You’re right.”
“Plus, it’ll be good to be back home for a while. I know Quis is about to get spoiled rotten, chile.”
“And is. He’s the youngest great grandbaby, so they’re about to be all over him. He needs the distraction while I handle the finances of a funeral. My girl needs to be celebrated properly.”
“Period!”
I leaned back in my seat and stared out the window. My mind drifted back to the day I made the conscious decision to leave. I’d accepted the position from the head chef, gotten an apartment, and planned to have all my things put in storage.
As I walked into the house, my stomach did flips. I’d hidden my bump from the family for months. I’d isolated myself from all my loved ones because I couldn’t face them. Not after Marquise had gotten arrested and sentenced to fifteen years in prison. That wasn’t my future.
With shaky hands, I entered the kitchen and looked at my family. Mama and Granny Janie were making plates. Chamille and Daddy were chatting at the table over their steaming bowls of gumbo.
“Hey, Sweet Tea. How are you?” Daddy spoke to me first.
All eyes were on me as everyone greeted me with warm smiles. I wouldn’t be able to hold in my announcement for long. I wore an oversized sweater and kept my hands in front of my stomach.
“Hey, y’all.”
I went into the kitchen and grabbed my bowl. I scooped two spoons full of rice into the bottom of the bowl. Then I grabbed the ladle and poured the delicious, dark gumbo over the white rice. Sprinkles of hot sauce garnished the top.
Everyone sat around the table. My stomach still flipped with anxiety about the topic brewing in the back of my throat. Just do it, my subconscious urged.
After prayer, I stirred my gumbo and took a bite. I couldn’t enjoy my meal because the uneasy feeling made me nauseous.
Just do it.
“This gumbo is delicious as always, Granny Jay,” Chamille stated.
“Thank you, baby ? —”
“I’m pregnant, and I’m moving to California,” I blurted out.
Relief washed over me. I lifted my spoon to my mouth and hummed with joy as the hot meal slid down my throat. The baby growing inside of me no longer flipped with anxiety, but he’d joined me in a happy dance from the rich and spicy flavors of the gumbo.
“Excuse me?” Mama was the first to speak.
“Finally,” Chamille exclaimed.
She was aware of the pregnancy for months, but she didn’t know I had accepted the job offer. She had an inkling I would take the offer, though.
“This is a joke, right?” Daddy asked.
I shook my head no. “I’m as serious as a heart attack, Daddy. I didn’t want to tell y’all until I was one hundred percent ready to accept the new life ahead of me.”
“You’re about to move to a whole different time zone with a new baby?” Granny Janie’s voice made me pause. The look of shock in her eyes made the uneasy feeling in my stomach return.
“Y-yes, ma’am. I am.”
“What the hell, Honey?” Granny Janie shook her head.
My eyes watered at the tone in her voice. I put my spoon down and looked up at her with tears streaming down my face. “I know you’re disappointed in me. I know you were never a fan of Marquise, and I’m so sorry. It took so long because I wasn’t ready to deal with the disappointment and judgment coming from y’all.”
“Baby girl, we aren’t judging you. It was inevitable with the way the two of you were goin’ at it.”
I covered my face as my cheeks burned with embarrassment. “Granny, please.”
“Do you have a plan?” Daddy questioned.
I shrugged. “I know I’m not staying here. I have to put me first.”
“Honey, you can do a lot of things but raise a baby by yourself ain’t one of them. Don’t piss me off,” Mama stated.
“Mama—”
“She’s right. Our grandbaby won’t grow up without us in his or her life. You can move if you want to, but you need to let your job know you not gon’ be there for a couple of months,” Daddy added.
“Let’s not gang up on my sister now. This is a lot to deal with. Her baby daddy’s in jail for who knows how long, and she’s about to be a single mother. All she needs in this moment is reassurance that we’ve got her back, no matter what.”
I smiled softly. “Thanks, sis.”
“Always.”
We’d found a schedule that worked for us. The first six months of Quis’s life, the grandparents and Granny Janie coddled and spoiled us. Jenifer and Chamille were there as much as their schedules allowed. Even when Quis and I were back in Los Angeles, we called them every night.
As Jenifer pulled into the familiar neighborhood, a bittersweet feeling engulfed me in the tightest chokehold. Houses looked the same. The residents of the neighborhood kept their lawns tidy, with expensive cars shining in the driveways. The closer we got to my parents’ home, the harder it became to breathe.
We passed the Kent home, and I damn near had a panic attack, as I did every time I came back home. The fear of Marquise stepping out to greet me was irrational but ever present in the back of my mind.
“Nana’s house!” Quis had unbuckled his seat belt and waited with bouncing feet for me to let him out of the back seat.
“Is that my grandbaby?” Mama emerged from the house with her hands propped on her hips.
“Nana!” Quis bolted from the car and ran to my mother. She scooped him up, and he hugged her tight.
“I missed you, baby.”
“I missed you, too, Nana! Where’s Pawpaw?”
Quis wiggled out of her grasp and ran into the house. I shook my head as I closed the doors and went to the trunk to grab our bags. As I pulled the bags out of the trunk, an eerie feeling washed over me, like someone was spying on me. I brushed the feeling away and continued to the house with the suitcases in tow. I had more important matters to focus on than a paranoid idea of someone watching me.
“My beautiful daughter.”
“My beautiful mama.”
When I finally closed the distance between my mama and me, I felt the tears build in the corners of my eyes. She was her mother’s daughter, and the resemblance got to me.
“Shh.”
She wrapped me in her arms and swayed from side to side. I was home. I was in the care of my mother. We would get through the loss of our favorite lady together.
“The rest of the family will be here tomorrow to discuss funeral arrangements. You can get settled into the guest room. I’m not sure you want to cook right now, so I can?—”
“I’ll cook. What do you have in there?” I wiped my eyes and focused on possibilities for dinner.
“Not much. You know, with it just being me and your father most of the time, I don’t have to cook like I’m feeding a village. Even with Sunday dinners, we kept it small.”
I giggled. “Understood, Mama. I’ll shower and take a short nap. Then I’ll head to the store to stock your cabinets up with groceries.”
“Thank you, darling.”
“Thank Jenifer too. She’ll be helping me.”
Jenifer shook her head. “Of course I am. I won’t be missing a famous Honey meal either. It’s a part of my best friend’s tax.”
“Right.” I giggled as I tugged the suitcases up the four steps onto the porch.
Mama opened the door, and I stepped inside the threshold. Every time I walked into my parents’ home, memories flooded my mind: memories of my childhood and cooking with my grandmother, memories of my first kiss, my first date, and my first heartbreak.
The next few weeks would be a trying time for me, especially surrounded by grieving family members. Lord, give me the strength to make it through this.