9. Patrick
Isee her sitting on the porch from almost a quarter of a mile away, but I can’t bring myself to look at her as I draw nearer. I’ve been repeatedly going over what she said. She never married Kiernan. Why wouldn’t she have married Kiernan if she was pregnant with his child? The only logical conclusion I could come to is that Alex wasn’t his. He’s mine.
When I finally reach the top step of the porch, my eyes lock with hers. I want to wipe away the red rims I see, but I can’t. I need answers first. I sit on the swing next to her, saying nothing but rocking us into a comfortable lull instead. I wish I had something more eloquent to say, but the only words I can get out are, “Is he mine?”
She doesn’t say anything for a long time, and I want to scream in frustration at her silence. I need more than that. I deserve more than that. However, when I look over and see her silhouetted face, I notice the tears streaming down her cheeks as she practically chokes on a sob.
“Yes,” she squeaks out. “He’s yours.”
At this news, I break down and cry again. I don’t mean a manly cry, but the ugly kind of cry you see in the movies. I place my fists in my eyes to hold the tears at bay, but it doesn’t work. It takes me a long while to regain my composure enough to speak.
“I’m so sorry, Patrick. I had my reasons,” she starts to explain.
“Please don’t make excuses for keeping my son from me. I don’t think anything in the world could justify that,” I tell her.
I see indignation cross her features as she stands up, “You have no idea why I would do such a thing. You think I wanted to keep that precious little boy from his father? You think so little of me that I would keep him away from you without a good reason?”
Now I stand up, getting equally as huffy as she is. “What reason could you possibly have that would warrant keeping my son from me?” I shout.
“Because I love you!” she yells back. Under normal circumstances, I would have been ecstatic to hear those words, but these aren’t normal circumstances, and I’m not in the right frame of mind. When I talked with God, I understood He had a plan and that this was it, but it didn’t mean I was ready to jump on board without a little understanding first.
“You said those words to me once, and I took them at face value. Then you left, never to contact me again!”
“It doesn’t make them any less true, Patrick. I didn’t marry Kiernan because I don’t love him. I love you! I still do, but I just wanted to keep you safe!” she shouts. I don’t think twice about what I do next, even though I probably should have.
I step into Ariella’s personal space and put my hand around her neck, pulling her close to me as my lips crash into hers. Her hands fist the back of my shirt as she tries to press her body flush against mine. I walk her backward until she’s butted up against the railing, our tongues continuing to duel. I feel her hand press against my chest, a sign to stop. I do as she silently requests and step back.
She’s about to say something when Alex comes barreling out of the back door with Savannah and Jessie close behind him.
When Ariella makes eye contact with Savannah, her face flushes out of embarrassment, and she apologizes profusely. “I’m so sorry, Patrick. I can’t let you do this,” she says and takes off in a run. I need to go after her, but Jessie beats me to it.
“I’ve got her. You handle this,” she says, motioning to Alex. Jessie goes after her, but catching up with Ariella might take some time. Jessie is quick, but Ariella is almost as fast as I am. I know Ariella can hold her own since we enjoyed plenty of morning runs together.
I look at Alex and smile. His eyes are full of joy, fear, wonder, and excitement. He doesn’t know what to do or whether or not he should approach me. I fall to one knee and hold out my arms. When he recognizes the gesture, he runs to me and throws his tiny arms around my neck.
I can’t express my joy knowing that the little boy in my arms is my son. My parents’ eyes also well with tears as they join in the hug.
“Does this mean I can call you Daddy now?” Alex asks cautiously.
I embrace him tightly, “I wouldn’t have it any other way, Son.” I pick him up and sit on the swing while I hold him, my parents smiling at me the whole time but saying nothing. I think they’re soaking in the moment as much as I am. His arms never leave my neck, even though I hear him start to snore.
“He’s exhausted,” I tell my parents. I should get him to bed, but I don’t want to leave him alone. Jessie and Ariella left more than an hour ago, and typically, I would be worried that they hadn’t returned. Regardless of my confidence in Jessie’s abilities, I send a text asking for a quick status update. All I get back is a thumbs-up emoji, and I assume that Jessie is following Ariella but giving her the space she needs.
“He can sleep with me tonight,” I tell my parents.
“I think he needs that as much as you do. One of us will stay up to let Ariella know that he’s with you,” my mom tells me. “But Patrick, please take a shower before you crawl under my clean covers.”
I thought it would be a great idea for Alex to sleep with me last night, but I’ll have to rethink that in the future. Waking up without covers and an arm in my face wasn’t what I’d expected. Yet, I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything in the world.
I nudge him, trying to wake him up. “Hey buddy, it’s time to wake up. We have a big day planned, building a snowman and shooting some guns.” He rolls over, continuing to snore softly.
I pick him up, still wrapped in the blanket, and carry him downstairs, where I gently lay him on the couch. I stand there and simply admire him, not understanding how I had been so blind. When I look at him now, it’s obvious that he’s mine. I shouldn’t have ever needed to ask the question.
“Coffee?” my mom asks, sneaking up behind me.
“Please and thank you,” I tell her, taking the mug from her hands. I inhale the rich aroma before taking a small sip.
“He looks just like you did at his age,” she says sweetly.
“When did you know?” I ask her. “I’m a highly-trained agent, and I couldn’t see it. How could I have missed it?”
She sighs. “I knew from the very first moment I saw him as he came around the back of the truck and stood beside you. But that’s because I raised you and saw that same face looking back at me every day while you were growing up. For you, though, I think you were in denial. It’s interesting the way our brain works. We see what we want to see and ignore what we don’t. I’m sure Ariella showing up out of the blue with Alex was a shock in and of itself. But ask yourself this: was it easier for you to accept that she had been married off because of an arrangement, produced an heir, and had almost no choice in the matter? Or that she chose not to return and kept your son a secret from you, taking away your choice?”
Her question starts to get my blood boiling, and only her gentle and motherly touch calms me down. “I didn’t pose the question to make you upset, Patrick. Your mind wants to believe one thing, regardless of the truth. You didn’t see the resemblance because you subconsciously didn’t want to see it. It was a defense mechanism.”
“There were so many opportunities where she could have shared the truth with me. We’ve been driving across the country for three days. Why didn’t she say anything?” I ask, hoping my mom can shed some light on the situation.
“I don’t presume to know what was going through her head or why she didn’t shout it out from the mountain tops, but all I had to do was ask her, and she told me the truth. What kinds of questions did you ask her?”
I didn’t. “I assumed she was married like everyone else. I assumed that Alex was Kiernan’s. I assumed she would have told me if he was mine,” I admit.
“Well, we all know what happens when you assume; last night was a case in point. You were pretty rough on her. I can’t remember the last time you raised your voice to someone. I know you’re hurting, but remember she is too. She’s kept Alex a secret to protect you and save your career.”
“I would have given up everything for her, my career included.”
“I know, Baby. But she was also protecting your life. She feared that if her mother found out, she would have ensured you were never in the picture. By what means? I’m not sure, but I’m glad I never had to find out. Ariella gave up her own happiness for you, for Alex, and for her people.”
With those last words, my mother turns to leave. I stand there for another minute, staring in awe at the life I had created before following to help her prepare breakfast.
I’m stirring up the eggs and vanilla for the French toast when Jerry walks in yawning, his white hair sticking straight up.
“I take it you didn’t get much sleep,” I remark, assessing his haggard appearance.
“Nope. I had to finish getting the last of the surveillance equipment up and running. I’m going to get some shut-eye for a few hours before Savannah, and I take Ariella and Alex shooting later.
“If you need more rest, I can have Jessie and Savannah take them while you and I search for gaps,” I suggest.
Jerry grabs a mug from the cabinet and pours himself a cup of coffee before taking a seat at the table. It looks like he might fall asleep sitting up, and I chuckle. I’m about to suggest that he skip breakfast and get some sleep when my cell phone rings. Looking at the caller ID, I see it’s Ethan calling.
I set down the eggs and swipe to answer, quickly putting it on speaker. “Ethan.”
“Hey, Patrick. How is everyone getting settled in?” he asks.
“As well as can be expected. You’re on speaker, and Jerry is here with me.”
“Good. I just wanted to let you know that the video feeds are uploading to the servers here without any issues, and it looks like everything is on track.”
Jerry grunts. “All 27 cameras are installed in the immediate vicinity of the house. The perimeter alarms and cameras are fully operational, and the drones are charged up. Everything is quiet on the home front. Well, from the security perspective, anyway. Not so much on the personal home front, if you know what I mean. There was some serious drama last night.”
“Hey, I’m right here, and it’s my personal life you’re referring to,” I say.
Jerry dismisses my comment. “It was a show of epic proportions. Some of the hits were major blindsides. Did you know that Patrick and Ariella have a history and a kid together, and she isn’t married to the Prince of Brachha? Woo wee, what a doozy!”
“Boy, you better check yourself, or you won’t get any French toast for breakfast,” my mom shouts.
“Sorry, Charlie,” he yells back. Then he whispers into the phone, “So, not sorry. Why didn’t you say anything, Ethan?”
“Because I asked him not to,” Ariella chimes in as she graces us with her presence. Even in her sleep-addled state, she looks absolutely gorgeous.
“When Ariella told us, I almost pulled you from the mission, but Amelia was the one who convinced me you were the perfect man for the job. She thought that it would force the two of you to communicate with one another and straighten things out in an environment where you can’t run away from the conversations that need to be had. I agreed with her assessment of the situation. I know tactics and strategy, but she knows people.”
I grab another mug from the cabinet and pour a cup of coffee. I mix in a heaping spoonful of Ghirardelli cocoa and stir it until it’s dissolved. Then, I add a splash of milk. My mom looks at me like I’ve lost my mind because I typically drink my coffee black or with a splash of almond milk. She grins when she realizes that Ariella has joined us and that the coffee isn’t for me.
“I assume you have some news for us since you called me. Normally, you wait for us to call you with the updates,” I say to Ethan, setting the mug down in front of Ariella without speaking a word.
Her mouth twitches, and I can tell she’s trying to stay mad at me but failing.
“I do, and I’m glad Ariella is with you. Where is the rest of the team?” he asks.
“We’re right here, Boss Man!” Savannah declares as she walks into the kitchen.
“Coffee first, then the briefing, please,” Jessie grumbles.
“I’m on speaker, Jessie. You can listen and get your ‘wake up’ juice at the same time. Your ability to multi-task is one of the reasons I pay you the big bucks. Ariella, are you still there?”
“I’m here, Ethan.”
“Great. I want you to know that we did a deeper dive into the royal families and found out something interesting. Were you aware that Kiernan likes to gamble?” he asks.
“I am. He goes to Monte Carlo once a month to play in their tournaments. He’s not very good at it, but it makes him happy. Why do you ask?”
“He doesn’t play in the certified tournaments, Ariella. He plays at the underground card tables. And you’re right about one thing. He isn’t very good at it. According to my sources, he owes some very bad people a great deal of money. Has he talked to you about any of this?”
“No. He hasn’t. How much is a ‘great deal?’”
Ethan clears his throat. “One point eight million dollars.”