Chapter 18
“Oh, my babies!”
I smile as Colleen sinks to her knees on the front porch, arms flung open wide as Dalton and Penny vault into her waiting arms. She kisses them a dozen times each on the cheeks and forehead, making them both giggle. Dalton makes a show of wiping her kisses off, grinning from ear to ear. Colleen narrows her eyes at him playfully, then kisses him on both cheeks again, just for good measure.
“Grampa, I swear they’ve grown a foot since we saw them last!” Colleen mumbles over her shoulder to her husband. Dalton and Penny both disengage from Colleen’s arms and fling themselves at Kent, who catches them both as they hug his waist. I offer Colleen a hand and she groans dramatically as she rises from her knees. “I’m getting too old to be getting down on the ground like that.”
I laugh, but then I’m being pulled into her warm embrace, and I sink into it for a long moment. She always smells like peppermint and honey, and I take the moment to just breathe her in. Colleen has been my pillar in the last year. I don’t know what I would do without her .
“Thank you for coming to see us,” I whisper, squeezing her tighter for a heartbeat longer before letting her go.
Kent has Penny in his arms, and she’s telling him in great detail about the blanket fort she and Dalton had constructed in the living room yesterday, and how I’d been a ‘mean mom’ and made them take it down before bed. Kent chuckles and winks over at me before saying, “We’ll build another one tonight, how about that?”
Penny squeals in excitement and he laughs again. Dalton does a fist pump in the air. “Are we gonna have pizza for dinner tonight?”
“Pizza? What makes you think we would have pizza for dinner tonight?” Colleen asks innocently, though she winks at me, too. Pizza picnics on the floor and a pajama party are what Colleen and Kent are known for. The kids love it. They make stovetop popcorn, and then build a giant blanket bed in the very center of the living room to watch movies before they camp out on the floor.
“The sheets are all switched over on my bed, so it’s ready for you guys,” I say, leading the group of us into the house. Bea is zonked out in her bouncy seat on the floor, the automatic bouncing mechanism keeping her slowly in motion. Colleen leans over her, just to lay eyes on her, before moving away to let her keep sleeping. “Are you sure you want me to leave? I can stay?—”
“Absolutely not,” Colleen murmurs, moving into the kitchen. “You get to go have a night to yourself. Like I said, you can’t pour from an empty cup, sweet girl.”
Though I do fully understand the sentiment, and I’m so insanely grateful for the chance to get away and just be not Mom for a night, the guilt and selfishness of the act are making my anxiety soar.
I have a detailed list of Bea’s routine written out on a notebook. Her feeding times, how many ounces she gets, and her daytime nap schedule as well as her night schedule. The diaper station is fully stocked, and pajamas are laid out for all three kids. Dalton and Penny are easy enough and Colleen and Kent know their routines.
“How was the first week of school?” Colleen asks, and Dalton launches into a tale about his first week in the third grade. Penny then regales her grandparents with how 4’s Preschool is going, and by the time they’re both done telling their stories, Bea is waking from her nap.
Colleen shoos me away and lifts my chonky almost four-month-old into her arms, nuzzling her soft cheek.
“Okay you guys, let's give Mom hugs and kisses, and then she’s going to get out of here,” Colleen says to Dalton and Penny, who rush me like tiny linebackers.
My bag is ready, though it had taken me all day to convince myself to pack it at all. Just a pair of my comfiest pjs and a change of clothes for tomorrow, slippers, two smutty romance novels that I’ve been dying to get to, and all the fixings for pedicures and face masks. Also, two bottles of wine and enough snacks to last a weekend.
I give them both tight squeezes and kiss them on the cheeks. Dalton doesn’t wipe my kisses away, which makes me smile, and I ruffle his sandy brown hair. “Help Gramma and Grampa with Penny and Bea tonight, please? And be good. Brush your teeth before bed.” I look over at Colleen then, adding, “And please, no ice cream after nine o’clock. They’ll never go to sleep for you if they have that much sugar that late.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” she teases, but I know she’ll listen. She may be the best Gramma ever and they both spoil my kids absolutely rotten, but they’ve always been respectful of my ‘rules’.
I hug Penny tight then speak directly to her. “Absolutely no running away from Gramma and Grampa, and no playing out in the backyard without one of them out there with you. What is the big rule?”
Penny looks up at me with her big brown doe eyes and whispers, “No running into the cweek.”
I nod, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. “Right, good job.”
Turning to Colleen and Kent again, I gesture over to the notepad. Colleen hands Bea over to Kent, who snuggles her close like a football.
“Everything is here. Obviously, you have my phone number, and I have my charger just in case. Phone number for the hotel is here,” I say, pointing to the phone number I’d scrawled at the bottom. “I have milk thawing and there’s more in the freezer. Bottles are all set up and sanitized. Don’t worry about sanitizing them when you’re done, I’ll do that when I get back tomorrow. There are enough to not have to use any more than once. Diapers, wipes, diaper cream, pjs are all ready to go, too.”
Kent hands Bea over to me and I clutch her close. This is the first time I’ve ever been away from her and I’m starting to panic. I breathe in her baby scent. They’ll be fine for one night. I get to go and be a normal woman for one single night. Nothing catastrophic is going to happen.
“If we have any issues, I will call you,” Colleen says gently, sensing my rising panic. “But we’ll be fine.”
“I know,” I whisper, my eyes meeting hers over Bea’s dark head that I have pressed close to my own. I press another kiss to the top of her head, then her chubby little cheek, before handing her over. I fight away the sting of tears in my nose and blink the moisture from my eyes. I’m leaving for like, eighteen hours, not eighteen months, for goodness’ sake! I can do this!
Grabbing my bag from beside the door, I smile at them all, then blow them all kisses. “Have a good night, Mom!” Colleen calls, holding Bea’s hand and waving it, making my infant belly laugh .
“You all have so much fun tonight! I love you,” I murmur to them as a whole, and then I’m forcing myself out the front door.
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I dig it out as I walk over to my minivan. I smile shakily and lift the phone to my ear. “How’d you know I’d need you to call me?”
“Because I know how hard it is to leave them for the first time,” Vi says in response. “My first overnight shift at the hospital after Hols was born, I was an absolute train wreck.”
I laugh, sliding into the driver’s seat and starting the engine. I blow out my breath and lean my head back against the headrest. I stare out the windshield at my little duplex, imagining all of them inside. They’re going to have the best night, I know it. So why is it so hard to do something for me ? Admittedly, I know why. “This is my first time away from Bea… and my first time away from any of them since Logan died.”
“I get it. They’ll be perfectly fine. We’re going to eat trash food, drink wine, and watch the swooniest rom-coms we can find.”
“You’re right, this is going to be great,” I murmur, glancing in the rearview mirror as I back out of the driveway. “I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes, and Scottie should be there soon, too.”
“Awesome,” Vi sing-songs. “See you soon!”
Half an hour later, Vi and I are sitting cross legged on one of the two queen sized beds in the hotel room, a bag of Doritos propped up between us and sipping on White Claws when there’s a knock on the door. Vi jumps up and heads to the door, swinging it open. She’s big into yoga and pilates, and she’s all curvy and toned and ridiculously beautiful in a matching lounge set in a jade green waffle weave fabric. The woman is stunning.
“Hey, you found us!” she says with a smile, opening the door wider to let Scottie inside. She’s got an army style canvas bag slung over one shoulder and a grocery bag in the other hand. Scottie follows Vi further into the room, setting her bag down by the other bed, and then places the grocery bag on the foot of the bed that I’m still sitting on. Her strawberry blonde hair is piled up on top of her head in an artfully messy topknot, and freckles dot across her nose and cheeks. She’s wearing a tightly fitted pair of athletic leggings in a dark navy color and a plain white tank top that shows off her athletic figure. I don’t fully remember the first time I met her—the very brief meeting we had outside of Shifty’s when Cal and I had been drunk—but I do remember the second time, after they’d been rescued from Quell’s Peak. It was obvious how absolutely enamored my brother was with her, even then. I’m still thankful she came into his life, as unorthodox as their beginning was. I stand from the bed, adjusting my shirt over my middle as I do.
“Thank you for dragging me out tonight, I needed this,” she says with a smile and steps over to me. She hugs me tight, just for a few seconds, and I’m reminded of just how grateful I am to have these two women in my life.
“I can’t have a mandated girl’s night out without my bonus sister and bestie. Especially since your guys are still gone. Do they have any idea of when they’ll be back?”
I ask the question as nonchalantly as I can as Scottie and I pull apart, though I think they both can tell I’m fishing for information on Xander. Vi grins over at Scottie then at me.
“Last Rowan said, probably a few more days at least,” she says, grinning widely. “Are you missing your hot neighbor?”
I groan, flopping back down onto my butt on the bed we’d just been sitting on. “ Violette. ”
But she laughs and waves her hand at Scottie as they both climb onto the bed, too. “Oh come on, I want to hear all the gossip about you and Xander.”
“Whoa, but there’s no me and Xander—” I rush to say, sitting up straighter, my eyes ping-ponging between the two women. “Like, we’re literally just neighbors. ”
“Mmhmm,” Vi murmurs, though the inflection in her tone says she doesn’t believe that for a millisecond. I groan again.
“Your brother is handling this way better than I expected,” Scottie laughs, grinning.
“Ohmygod, there’s nothing for him to handle !” I exclaim, my cheeks heating. “There’s nothing going on between Xander and me. Nothing .”
The lie makes my throat tight. They don’t need to know about how he’d seen me half naked. Or what he’d said to me standing on my porch. How his eyes had taken on that dark, dangerous glint to them as he’d stared at me. They definitely don’t need to know that I had given myself a self-induced orgasm once I’d gotten back into bed replaying those heated words. It had taken every ounce of self control I had not to make any noise as I’d done it, too. I take a large gulp of my drink.
“He’s my neighbor and my brother’s best friend. And his boss. I do not have a thing for my hot neighbor,” I insist again. Even though it’s a bold faced lie.
She side eyes me with a glare. “I’ll say the same thing I said to him; there’s no lying here.” Well, shit.
“But you do admit that he’s hot.” I glare at Scottie over the rim of my seltzer. She winks then. “Well, for the record, I think he’s got a thing for his hot neighbor, too.”
The jealousy that flashes through me is so unexpected I jolt. I can’t help it, I run through all of our nearby neighbors, trying to figure out who she’s talking about, but I’m left coming up blank. Well, guess that puts an end to this stupid crush I’ve been fighting for months.
Vi leans over and whispers loudly, “You do realize that she’s talking about you , Teddy. You’re the hot neighbor.”
Ooooohhh .
I flush hotly and take a gulp of my drink. The carbonation tingles my nose and I cough. Subject change, stat. “Do either of you have anything stronger?” I ask, wheezing .
Scottie beams, leaning over to grab the grocery bag she’d set down, then with a flourish pulls out a bottle of whisky. “Shots, ladies?”
“We’re so not setting alarms in the morning,” Vi laughs, hopping off the bed to grab the little complimentary plastic cups from in the bathroom. Unwrapping each one from their plastic wrap, she hands them to Scottie, who pours out two fingers worth into each of the three cups. I swallow hard, nervousness making me giggle.
The last time I was drunk was the night I’d met Cal for drinks at Shifty’s because he’d needed to talk about Scottie—not that he’d actually talked about her, he’d mostly answered in grunts and monosyllabic responses, and I think he’d even forgotten I was there at one point. I’d been giggly and drunk after three drinks thanks to my low alcohol tolerance. Logan had basically shoved me out the door to go spend time with my brother with the promise that he had Dalton and Penny handled for the evening.
Thinking about it now, I have a very fuzzy, extremely vague memory of Xander helping me with my jacket and the sensation of his fingers in my hair. And I’m pretty sure he’d driven me the half hour back home to Cedar Valley. Or maybe I dreamed that…
Shaking my head, I sit up straighter. Scottie holds out the plastic cup to me, one brow raised in question.
“Fuck it. Okay. I’m in,” I say, reaching out for one of the cups. “To friends, no baby monitors, and sleeping in.”
“To badass women,” Scottie says, grinning, raising her plastic cup. “And the men we bring to their knees.”
“Oh hell yes, I’ll drink to that,” Violette giggles, and I can’t help the genuine laugh that leaves me.
I may regret this in the morning, but for now, this is exactly what I needed.