Chapter 25
By the dim glow of the flickering lantern, Ellie watched Phoenix slide the heavy bolt in place and then pull a chest of drawers across the door. "That should do it," he said.
"Do you really think they're going to come for us here?" She couldn't hide the tremor from her voice. After the hike up to the summit, she just wanted to lie down and pass out. The thought of having to fight those two mercenaries, or whatever they were, filled her with dread.
"I hope not," was all he said, which did little to bolster her confidence. For the past half-hour, she had been resting inside while he set up what he called booby traps around the cabin's perimeter.
"An early warning system," he explained upon his return. “Just in case.”
Then he set about checking the cabin. He opened all the cupboards and drawers, checked in every possible nook and cranny. One locked cabinet caught his eye, and using his knife, he forced it open.
“What are you looking for?” she asked.
“This.” He turned around and held up a shotgun. “You never know, it might be useful.”
“How’d you know that was in there?”
“I didn’t, but it stands to reason that a ranger station like this would have a weapon on hand.”
He thought of everything. At least now they were armed, and not just sitting ducks, should the men from the boat track them down.
"I found the first-aid kit." She pointed to the desk where she had placed it, alongside some bags of chips, cans of soda, and two chocolate bars. She had already devoured a bar and downed a soda before sinking into one of the chairs, utterly exhausted.
"Thanks." He lowered himself into the chair at the desk then opened the medical bag. The wound on his arm was still uncovered after he'd cleansed it in the stream, and it needed dressing. She watched as he spread on the disinfectant, then tore open a sterile gauze strip with his teeth. His face was hard, like granite, as he stared at his arm, intent on what he was doing.
They hadn't spoken about what had happened—or almost happened—on the beach, but she had set aside her longing, the day's sheer exhaustion dulling her emotions. So, he didn't want to go there. Fine with her. After the shock of the explosion, then almost drowning, she'd just wanted to feel a pair of strong arms around her. Even as she thought the words, she knew they weren't strictly true. She wanted to feel his arms around her.
She admitted her timing could have been better. Lying on a deserted beach in plain sight, with enemies on their tail, was hardly ideal for a tender moment, but his abruptness stung nonetheless. Still, she got the message. Loud and clear. Not interested.
Like she said, fine by her. She didn't need anyone complicating her life, she'd had more than enough of that. Her bruised heart couldn't stand to go another round, not to mention her mental health. If she wanted to avoid danger, she was with the wrong guy. Even though she knew he didn’t bring this danger to her. The reverse was true. This situation was all about her and what she'd discovered. It had nothing to do with the former Navy SEAL, who was only trying to keep her safe.
She watched as Phoenix struggled with the bandage, dropping it twice.
Oh, for goodness’ sake. "Let me."
His gaze shifted to her as she rose and circled the desk. Leaning over, she gently wrapped the bandage around the gash on his forearm, noting the flex of his muscles. He was, in all honesty, perfectly sculpted.
In the flickering lantern light, he looked like some mythical bronzed god, and her breath hitched. Being this close to him, it was impossible not to feel a pull. Her hands trembled as she secured the bandage. "There."
She made to step back, but he caught her hand. Her heart went into overdrive, bouncing around her chest like a jackhammer.
"Ellie—" His voice was a low growl, filled with pain.
She looked up into his tortured eyes, taken aback. "What's wrong?"
He shook his head, his brow furrowed. "I can't… do this to you."
"Do what? Hold me?" She searched his face, trying to piece together the puzzle that was this man.
"I don't want to just hold you."
Then she understood. His need was as great as hers, but he was afraid of where it might lead. She hadn't considered the future. All she wanted was to feel his presence, to confirm he was alive and with her. "It's okay," she murmured, facing him. "I'm scared, too."
He rose from the chair, towering over her. With a deep moan, he pulled her close, wrapping himself around her. She leaned into his chest, feeling his heart pound, his warmth driving away the fear, the anxiety, and the exhaustion.
In that moment, her world merged with his. As they clung to each other, she realized that while he exuded strength and confidence outwardly, he was terrified internally—not for himself, but for her. He didn't want to cause her pain.
"You deserve better," he murmured into her hair. "Better than me. I'm damaged, Ellie. You don't want this."
She looked up into his eyes. "You're exactly what I want. After the explosion, I thought I'd lost you. It terrified me. You're the only one looking out for me. Damaged or not, you saved my life. How can I ask for more than that?"
When their eyes met again, his were filled with a molten intensity, and she knew there would be no rebuke this time. She cared nothing for his past, only for what he was doing now. What he had done—for her.
He lowered his head, and his lips crashed against hers, consuming her. She felt an instant connection, a depth of feeling she'd never before experienced. Her body craved his touch, and he responded, intuitively knowing what she needed.
Her lips throbbed as he crushed against them, and as she opened to him, she felt like she was offering up so much more. She was exposing her most vulnerable side to him, her heart, but without fear. It could be in no safer hands. He was her protector—he’d said so himself.
Leaning into him, she sucked in a breath as his hard body moved against hers. His heat seared through her clothes, dirty and torn from the hike through the forest. His skin, scratched and torn, marred his perfection while making him seem more human. Human was what she wanted right now. She wanted to know the real him, not the protective outer covering he used to keep everyone out.
Her body ignited as he attacked her mouth with his tongue. Gasping, she held onto his broad shoulders, feeling the tendons moving under her fingertips as he grasped her and crushed her against him. He was devouring her, his tongue delving with deep strokes, showing her what it was like to really be kissed—no, to be consumed.
Fire burned in her belly and spread through her limbs, right to her core. All rational thought vanished as she gave herself up to the delicious sensations radiating through her. She arched into him, moaning against his mouth, growing wetter by the second.
A window creaked and he froze.
She held him, her heart still pounding. "What is it?"
"I heard something."
A tidal wave of fear washed over her. "Is it them?"
"I don't know. Keep down, I'll take a look."
He extinguished the lantern, and they were plunged into darkness. Ellie held her breath, listening for anything that might signal danger. Her body was hot, so tuned into him, to everything she was feeling, that she was on high alert. Her every sense aroused.
He slunk around the cabin, peering out of the windows. At last, his broad shoulders relaxed. "It's only a raccoon."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I saw it run off. We're good."
"Thank God."
He came back over and sank down beside her, their backs against the wall. "You're trembling."
She bit her lip. "I thought it was them, that they'd found us."
"Too soon," he whispered. "They'd have to get back to the mothership and regroup. It would take time. I'd estimate they're at least a couple of hours behind us, more if you take into account the darkness, and the fact they won't know which part of the island we swam to, or if we even made it."
"Do you think they've found our inflatable?"
"Maybe. It could have washed up onto the beach. Either way, I'd say we've got some time." His slanted blue gaze bore down on her. "We should probably get some rest."
"I'm not tired," she murmured. She could still taste him on her lips. Salty, masculine, a sweet elixir that she longed to get more of. Her body was still tingling from his touch.
"Ellie…" It was a guttural whisper.
"Please, Phoenix. I need to feel you, to know you're there." Was that too much to ask? They might not even make it through the night. She didn't want to die without knowing what it felt like to be with him, to be consumed by him. She'd had a taste of it, and it was addictive. She wanted more. Much more.
"I've done things, Ellie," he rasped, his face twisting with pain. "Bad things."
"What things?"
He sighed and leaned his head against hers. She felt his pain, his angst, and she wanted to soothe him, to make it go away, but she had to know… "What have you done?"
He shook his head like it was too awful to talk about.
"Tell me," she whispered.
He took a shuddering breath. "It was last year, in Basra." His face filled with pain again. "God, Ellie. You don't need to know this."
She nodded encouragingly. "I want to know." She wanted to know all about him, about what had made him into the broken man he was today. Why he left the Navy SEALs, why he was on that rig in the middle of the ocean, tormented by demons he couldn't let go. It was part of who she was, her curiosity, her need to figure things out, to find a solution. Maybe there wasn't one here, but she still wanted to find out about the man she'd fallen for.
The thought made her inhale sharply. Yes, she'd fallen for Phoenix in a big way. She couldn’t hide it anymore. She was head over heels for the guy.
He squeezed his eyes shut, as if digging deep within himself, then he opened them.
The anguish in them made her chest tighten.
"It was a messed-up situation. We'd gone in to rescue a bunch of women and children who'd been held hostage in an encampment. The terrorists were using them as pawns, to protect themselves.”
As human shields. She fought back a shiver of familiarity.
“My team went in first. Butch and Slick were the first men in. They took out several hostiles, but then more came in from a back room. We didn't know they were there. Must have been in a bunker or something, out of range of our infrared scopes. The rest of us were shepherding the civilians out when we realized they had Butch and Slick at gunpoint. It was either them or the hostages."
She stared at him, horrified. The thought of violence and war were so far from her reality, it felt like he was describing a movie. She could only imagine the horror he must have felt.
"What did you do?"
"I knew they were dead, no matter what." His voice caught, and he swallowed. "Those bastards weren't going to let them go. So I made the decision to move the civilians out.”
He paused, his face twisting in pain. When he spoke again, his voice was a whisper. “I abandoned them."
She grasped his hand. "It wasn't your fault. You saved the women and children."
"I left my men to die."
She held him then, cradling his head against her breast. He didn't cry, but she felt him shudder, and then his arms wound around her. There was desperation in his gaze as he looked up at her. He needed solace too, and she wanted to give it to him. She wanted to ease his pain.
"Ellie," he groaned.
“I’m here.”
He snaked a hand around her neck and brought her head down to his. He kissed her, tenderly at first, then filled with need. Soon, she was gasping for breath.
They slunk down onto the hard cabin floor, but she hardly noticed the discomfort for he pulled her on top of him. Ellie wound herself around him, while he ravished her mouth again.
This time there was no stopping them. She could feel his need. Literally. His dick was thick and hard underneath her, pushing through his shorts and digging into her stomach.
Damn, she wanted him inside of her. It would be so easy to peel off her shorts, straddle him and?—
She felt a surge of longing so deep it took her breath away, accompanied by a slick wetness between her legs. His hands gripped her butt, pressing her down, revealing every dip and bulge of his body, hard and solid under hers. God, she wanted him so bad.
Suddenly, his hands were under her shirt, sliding up her back, tugging the material gently over her head. Ellie lifted her arms and ducked, letting him pull it off. Panting, he fixed his hungry gaze on her, turning her stomach to mush. She felt desperate, like she was out of control—a sensation she usually hated.
Except this was different. This was exciting, exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time. It was insane how much she wanted him. Never before had she felt desire even remotely like this. Usually she was so clear-headed, so logical, so scientific. This was raw and spontaneous and totally out of character for her.
What could she say? Phoenix brought out her inner wild child.
He lifted his head and kissed her neck, his lips closing over her skin, hot and wet and unhurried, working a path along her collarbone and down to her breasts. She gasped as her bra popped loose, and she realized he’d unclipped it from the back. His gaze dropped to her breasts, now hanging free.
“Christ, Ellie. You’re beautiful.”
She didn’t have time to reply, before he reached up and captured a hard bud in his mouth sucking it gently.
Holy hell.
She gasped, spiraling out of control. There was something so decadent, so erotic about his hot tongue on her nipple, that she nearly came right there and then. It was like he’d ignited a fuse that burned right to her core.
Moaning, she leaned forward, giving him more of her. His hands caressed her back, gentle yet insistent, tracing her curves with his fingers. She clawed the wooden floor on either side of his shoulders, moaning with ecstasy.
Beneath her, he grew bigger and harder, until she was straddling his cock, feeling it pulse between her legs. Any moment now and she was going to lose it entirely.
“Phoenix,” she groaned, rubbing her groin against his. “Please… I need you.”
He growled and tugged at her shorts. Lying on top of him, she undid the zipper, her hands trembling with anticipation. As soon as it was open, he shimmied them down, and she wriggled out of them. Her panties followed, already soaked with her desire. She reached for his waistband, and he reared up, nearly bucking her off. As soon as she had her balance, she stood, straddling him to tug off his shorts. When she got them over his knees, he managed to kick them off, then he pulled her on top of him.
There was nothing between them, but it still wasn’t enough for her.
He lifted his head, his voice tense. “Ellie, I want you so bad, but are you sure?”
She’d never been so sure of anything in her entire life. “Yesss.” It was a moan, a desperate hiss.
“Are you safe?”
She nodded. She’d been on the pill with Rafael and hadn’t seen the need to go off it. “No problems there.”
He grabbed her hips and positioned them over his cock. She was trembling so hard, he had to guide her down onto it. For a fleeting moment she wondered if it was going to fit. She hadn’t been with many guys, and he was… huge.
She didn’t have to wonder long.
Oh. My. God.
She’d never felt anything so incredible in her life. He filled her completely, thick and throbbing, and she closed her eyes, absorbing the entire length of him. She had to sit up, straddling him, to accept his full length, and for a moment, they both stared at each other, dazed at the overwhelming sensation.
Then he began to move.