Chapter 3
Levi
This isn’t going to end well, not at all. Why did I agree to this? What have I gotten myself into?
Austin holds out his hand, that smile that warms me from the inside out, curving on his lips. “Shall we go inside with the rest of the guests, boyfriend?” he teases, and god, if it doesn’t make him more sexy. If that’s even possible.
I stare at his hand, my heart pounding in my chest. What should I do?
“Relax, Levi.” Austin’s deep husky chuckle makes my cock twitch. “It’s not going to bite you.”
“I know,” I grumble, slipping my hand into his. He locks his fingers with mine, and I hate how good he fits against me.
“Ready?” Austin looks down at me and I try not to get lost in his blue eyes.
“No.”
“It’s not going to be that bad, I promise.” He nudges me with his arm.
“Fine.” I blow out a breath, trying to prepare myself for my family’s reaction. “Let’s get this done and over with.”
“Gee, thanks.” Austin huffs out a laugh. “Way to make a guy feel wanted.”
“Shit. Sorry.” His eyes lock on where I bite my lower lip. “I’m just nervous.”
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Austin offers, starting to pull his hand out of mine.
For some reason, that makes me panic even more than facing my family, and my grip on his hand tightens. “No. No. It’s okay.”
“You sure?” He gives my hand a reassuring squeeze.
“Yeah.” I lick my lips, looking through the open door to the people already at their assigned seats.
Before I can chicken out, I tug him forward and into the main hall. My mom, who has taken it upon herself to make sure every guest is seated in their assigned seat, looks over to see who’s just entered the room.
Her face lights up when she sees me. “Levi, honey, go sit down.” Then her eyes flick over to Austin next to me. “Austin, sweetheart. We’re so glad you could make it.”
“Wouldn’t miss it, Mrs. Darwood. Megan is like a sister to me.”
Mom’s face softens. “And you're like a son to us.” She reaches up to give Austin an affectionate pat on the cheek.
I watch as Austin's face lights up and I remember the biggest reason why Austin spent so much time at our house growing up.
Austin comes from a very strict but well-off family.
He was judged for almost everything he did.
It never seemed to be enough to please his dad.
As an only child, Austin was expected to be exactly what his parents wanted him to be, and when he wasn’t, they reminded him daily that he was a failure.
He never wanted to go home, often sleeping over at our house.
Sometimes he would stay for weeks at a time.
Mom never minded, always welcoming Austin with open arms and at some point, it was like he was just one of us kids, a part of the family.
That was hard for me. Not because I didn’t like Austin, or didn’t want him around. It was because my feelings for him were anything but brotherly.
I knew I was gay from a young age. Back in middle school, when all the boys would crush on the girls, I cared more about spending time with my guy friends.
The first time I knew I preferred guys in more than just a friendly way was when I was fourteen.
It was one of the times Austin was staying over. I needed the bathroom, and Austin was showering in the only one we had.
I thought I could slip in and pee quickly—my brother did it all the time. But when I went to open the door, the sounds I heard were not the ones of someone simply showering.
I’ll never forget the sight of Austin naked in the shower, water beating down over his toned skin, hand wrapped around his cock as he jerked himself into an orgasm. The sound of him cumming haunted me in the most delicious way.
When I went back to my room, harder than I’ve ever been before, I realized two things: not only was I into guys, but I was crushing on my brother’s best friend.
Not long after that, I came out to my family. No one was surprised, and everyone was accepting. Then I came out to my friends and started dating guys.
Unfortunately, it’s also how I started dating my ex. It was one of the biggest regrets of my life.
Part of me thinks I agreed to date him because I was so hung up on Austin, I just needed to forget him because I knew there was never a chance anything could happen between us.
I also think that's a big reason why I can't seem to say no to Austin right now.
I’ve known Austin was gay for about a year now. When I went back home for a family supper, my mom was raving about how happy she was for Austin to finally be out and be able to accept who he was.
It also made me wonder if maybe I did have a chance with him back when we were teenagers.
Then I quickly dismissed that idea because there was no way Austin would want to be with a guy like me. We were the complete opposite.
He loved sports, I was in the school band.
He loved fast cars and action movies, while I loved anime and horror.
The only real common ground we shared was video games. Something we played a lot of while growing up.
But now, with Austin’s hand in mine, I wonder if maybe, just maybe, I was wrong this whole time.
Stop overthinking, Levi. He offered to be your fake boyfriend to save you from embarrassment in front of your family. Not because he actually wants you. There is nothing more to it.
Then why did I wish it were?
“Let’s get you two seated. Levi, Austin, you two are at the family table,” Mom says, looking between the two of us. “Levi, honey, where’s that boyfriend of yours? We saved him a seat. Is he still coming?”
Here we go. I think I’m going to be sick.
“Ah, about that, Mom.” I laugh awkwardly. Abort, abort!
I hold up my hand. The hand that's locked with Austin’s to show her.
She looks and blinks. Blinks. And blinks. Before it clicks.
“You... two... are...” Her eyes flick up to me, then Austin, and back to me. “You're together?”
“We really hope that's not going to be an issue,” Austin says, not sounding so confident in his plan now. Shit. I really hope this isn’t going to backfire.
“An issue?” Mom’s lower lip wobbles, her eyes welling up. My eyes widen, fearing we’ve fucked everything up. “Of course not. I’m so happy.” Mom starts to cry, and I’m rendered speechless.
“You are?” I question her. I thought there was a good chance my mom might be okay with this. Austin was someone she loved after all. But to see her so emotional... that wasn’t what I expected.
“So, so happy. Oh, boys.” Mom reaches up and cups both of our faces. “You have no idea how happy this makes me. To see two of my boys, who I love so much, together and happy. Oh, I’ve wanted this for so long.”
I blink at her, still in shock. “For us to be happy? Or together?”
“Both.” She laughs, wiping at her eyes. “I knew there was something between the two of you. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.”
“You did?” My eyes widen. She has to be mistaken. “I didn’t.”
“Oh, stop it,” she laughs, slapping me on my arm playfully, then looks up at Austin. “Did you know Levi had a big crush on you growing up?”
“Mom!!” What the hell?! How did she know?
“Don’t even deny it, Levi. We all saw those big heart-eyes any time he came over.”
“Stop,” I groan. “Please, stop.”
“Really?” Austin chuckles, amused at my pain. My mother just outed me. What the fuck?
“No.” I glare up at him.
“He’s lying.” Mom waves me off. “But that doesn’t matter because now you two are together. Oh, this is so wonderful.”
As my mom calls my dad over, I start to fear we’ve made a big mistake. This is becoming a bigger deal than I wanted it to be.
“Honey, you will never guess,” Mom starts, but Dad looks confused. He sees me and Austin and smiles.
“Hey, boys. Looking dapper tonight.”
“Thanks, Mr. Darwood.” Austin chuckles. “You do as well.”
“Frank. Guess what?” Mom says, practically bouncing with excitement.
“What?” Dad asks.
“You will never guess who Levi’s boyfriend is.”
“Mom.” She’s gonna start drawing attention soon. Fuck.
“Who?” Dad asks, looking around.
Mom grabs Austin’s and my hands, still locked together, and holds them up. “Austin!”
Dad’s eyes widen. “No way.”
“Yes way!” Mom squeals, getting the attention of the people nearby.
My cheeks heat, and I look up at Austin, expecting him to be as embarrassed or as freaked out as me.
Only... he’s smiling. Like he genuinely loves this.
“Well, I’ll be damned. Congratulations, boys. I’m happy for you two.”
“Thanks, Mr. Darwood.”
“Frank. Call me Frank, Austin. You’ve been a part of the family for nearly ten years now.”
“Thanks, Frank.”
“Maybe soon you can call him dad.” Mom’s eyes light up.
“Whoa.” I hold my free hand up. “Let’s not go there.” Dad? Like, as in we get married. Is she already planning out our wedding? We’re not even actually dating. Yup, I fucked up. Big time. And I don’t know how I’m going to get myself out of this one without breaking her heart. Damn it.
“Sorry, sorry.” Mom laughs. “I’m just so happy.”
“Why are you so happy?” my brother asks, and a different sort of panic sets in.
My eyes dart up to Austin, and that happy smile is now gone. He looks panicked. Maybe this is the out I need.
“Charlie, how come you never told me Austin and Levi were dating?”
“Umm, what?” Charlie looks at us, confused. “Because they’re not.”
“They are too!” Mom defends.
Charlie looks at Austin. “Wanna tell me what the fuck is going on?”
Austin lets my hand go and runs it through his hair. “Can we talk?” Austin asks Charlie.
“Yeah. We'd better fucking talk. Now,” Charlie growls, grabbing Austin’s arm and tugging him away.
Worry sets in as I watch the two of them leave the room. Fear that after that conversation, Austin is going to come back and revoke the offer to be my fake boyfriend.
That is what I want. It gets me out of this fucked up plan we agreed to without thinking it through.
So why does the idea of it ending before it even really began make me so damn sad?
Mom continues to talk, but I’m too distracted watching the door, waiting for them to come back.