Chapter 3 #3
“Fuck what he thinks. He doesn’t know anything. He sounds like a selfish prick.”
“He was,” I sigh. “It was always about him. His pleasure. Never mine. As long as he got off, that’s all he cared about. He told me I was too much for him. Too needy. My sex drive was too high.” I try to look away, but Austin doesn’t let me.
“Don’t look away from me, baby,” he growls.
“Don’t you be ashamed of who you are. There’s nothing wrong with wanting those things, okay?
You just need to find the right person to give you what you need.
And trust me.” He chuckles, his eyes heating with desire.
“I know for a fact there are men out there who would jump at that chance to give it to you.” His thumb brushes my chin, making my body ignite, warmth blooming inside me.
He called me baby. Why? And why did that turn me into this needy little puddle for him?
Him. I want him to give it to me. To hold me, to fuck me, to pin me down and do all the dirty things to me.
And I almost tell him. Thankfully, I bite my tongue.
His hold on my chin drops, and I almost whimper at the loss of his touch. It wasn’t enough. I need more.
“I wouldn’t know.” I look away. “I don’t have time to date. My life is school and work.”
“It doesn't have to be,” Austin says.
I huff out a laugh. “Seeing how I’m thirty grand in debt, yeah, it does.”
His frowns. “Why so much?”
“School tuition. It was around ten grand after I finally picked a career. That’s not including the two years of just fucking around until I decided what I wanted to do with the rest of my life,” I start.
“Then I needed a car to get around. That was another ten. Then the deposit for the apartment Cole and I moved into, and everything I needed to furnish it. That doesn’t even include the rent, bills, and other monthly expenses.
” I sigh heavily. “So, yeah. I work my ass off. But if I keep to my plan, I’ll have enough to pay off all my credit cards and my student loans by the time I graduate.
I’m young, and doing it this way, I’ll still have lots of time to date after college.
Unlike how my mother makes it seem, it’s not the end of the world that I didn’t marry my high school sweetheart. ”
“Thank god,” Austin scoffs.
“Yeah.” I find myself smiling. “Thank god.”
“Dating is a no-go for you. And casual hook-ups are off the table.”
“Yup.” I pick up my drink, needing more liquid courage because this conversation got too real, too fast.
“Have you thought about friends with benefits?” He surprises me by saying. “With someone you know and trust. Someone who you can be open with about what you need.”
“See, that would be the ideal plan. But there’s a problem.”
“What would that be?”
“I don’t have any friends.” I snort, feeling like a loser.
“Apart from Cole, I’m not close with anyone.
I’m too busy to have much of a social life.
And while Cole is a good guy, I don’t see him that way.
Not to mention the fact that he has a boyfriend.
So, friends with benefits wouldn’t work for me. ”
Things go quiet as Austin looks away. Fear that I made things awkward has my stomach churning. I should have just kept my mouth shut. What is wrong with me?
“Dance with me?” Austin asks, breaking the silence and rendering me speechless.
“What?” I blink at him in shock.
“Dance with me,” he repeats with a laugh. “I am your boyfriend after all.”
“That’s another thing we need to address.”
“Not right now.” He shakes his head, getting to his feet. “Dance with me first.” He holds out his hand. I stare at it. “It’s not going to bite.” He chuckles, reiterating his earlier sentiment.
Deciding I have nothing left to lose, I take his hand, letting him pull me out onto the dance floor.
Austin spins me so that we’re facing one another before wrapping his arms around my waist and I wrap my arms around his neck.
Our bodies are pressed together and my cheeks heat in embarrassment because there’s no way he can’t feel how hard I am.
Alcohol already ramps up my sex drive as it is. Add in the that I’m in the arms of one of the hottest men I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing, and there’s really no way I’m getting this thing to go down, not until I take care of it later.
I feel like a damn perv right now.
However, Austin doesn’t seem to mind, his hands slipping lower, gripping my ass as he presses me closer.
I suck in a gasp when I feel that he’s hard too, his thick length pressed against mine. My knees nearly give out.
The song is a slow, sensual beat as Austin moves our bodies to the tune. It’s pure torture if you ask me, the way his cock is pretty much grinding against mine.
If he’s not careful, I’m going to cum in my damn pants like a fool.
My breathing picks up, my pulse going a mile a minute. My body breaks out into a sweat, need thrumming inside me.
“I have a proposition for you,” Austin murmurs in my ear. My eyes flutter closed, body shivering in his hold as my fingers grip the hair at the base of his neck.
“W-what?” I stammer out, my brain feeling like it’s short-circuiting.
“How about we don’t tell anyone that we’re not actually dating.”
“What?” I try to pull back but Austin keeps me close.
“Just hear me out,” he urges.
“Okay,” I whisper.
“I’ve only been out as gay for a year now.
” That, I knew. I remember when my brother told me after Austin came out to him.
It was an emotional thing for him, happy for his best friend but he wanted advice on how to support him.
It was sweet. But I was shocked by the news.
Even though I was in a relationship, Austin coming out as gay brought up old feelings and a few regrets.
Something I had to shove down out of guilt for my partner.
“And while, so far, it’s been smooth and everyone has been supportive, with school and rugby, I haven’t exactly had the time to date.”
“No?”
“No.” He shakes his head, the movement making his lips brush along my neck.
I moan softly, letting my head fall to the side.
Austin presses the smallest kiss to my throat, making me nearly feral. What is going on? I find myself asking that question a lot tonight.
“My issues are the same as yours. The idea of hooking up with someone I don’t know or trust doesn’t appeal to me. And I don’t have time to really date.”
“So what are you asking, Austin?” He needs to get to the point before I fucking explode. My cock is pressed so painfully against my dress pants, I might actually cry.
“I propose we do the friends with benefits thing. With each other,” he murmurs against my neck, kissing me again until my mind goes blank.
“I trust you. I know you. I don’t feel judged when I’m around you,” he whispers, and my heart nearly breaks at the vulnerability in his voice.
“I’ll give you what you need. What you crave.
You don’t have to feel like your wants and needs are wrong when you're with me. I might not be the most experienced person when it comes to sex, seeing how I’ve only been with one other person, but I’m eager to learn.
” He peppers kisses down my neck, and my body sways towards him. “What do you say, Levi?”
Yes, yes, yes. I want to scream, yes! Sex with Austin Cade has been a dream of mine for years.
“What about the dating thing?”
“You're not looking for a boyfriend, and I’m single. We can let the world believe we’re together, have fun, and give each other what the other one craves.
There’s no pressure, we can meet up whenever it’s convenient.
And if you decide this doesn’t work for you, no hard feelings.
We can just tell people we weren't right for one another.”
Tell him no. Tell him it’s a bad idea, that things will get messy. That its only going to lead to someone getting hurt. That someone being me because I know once I have a taste of Austin, I’m never going to want to let him go.
His offer seems too good to be true. It’s perfect. It’s exactly what I need.
But it’s wrong. So fucking wrong. Tell him it’s wrong, Levi!
“Okay,” I whisper. As soon as the words leave my lips, I feel like I might pass out. From nerves or excitement, I have no idea. That's sober Levi’s issue to worry about tomorrow.
“Okay?” Austin pulls back, this hopeful smile on his lips cementing my decision. It seems like I’d do anything to make this man happy. And it might be my downfall. But hey, I’m a people pleaser, it’s what I do. And of all the people to please, Austin would be my first choice.
“Yeah.” I nod. “Let’s do it.”
Austin’s eyes grow dark, his face taking on a feral look before he’s cupping the back of my head, cradling it in his large hand, and bringing his lips down to mine.
Austin Cade is kissing me. His lips are on mine, tongue gliding against the seam of my lips, demanding I let him in.
Who cares if I end up a broken mess? I’m taking the risk.
Seems like all logic is going out the window when it comes to Austin Cade. And I don’t seem to give a single fuck.