Chapter 14
Austin
Trying to keep my shit together for Levi was almost impossible. But the last thing he needed was me to go off the rails.
So I swallowed down my anger and held Levi in my arms. We sat for what felt like hours, just being connected with one another until the sun went down.
Today was perfect. Being able to hang out with Levi like this was everything. Seeing his face light up every time he found a stone or piece of glass he liked melted my fucking heart.
I don’t think I’ve smiled so much in my life. Seeing him happy made me happy.
That was until he told me about how things were between him and his ex. And how it led to them breaking up.
Seeing the broken look in Levi’s eyes when he told me his truth fucking destroyed me. I never in my life want to see that look or have him feel that pain again. If I could go back and save him from his past, I would in a heartbeat.
What Brogan did was sexual coercion. He sexually assaulted Levi. Even if he didn’t physically hold him down and force himself on him, he harassed him to the point he felt like he had no other choice than to give in, even if that was the last thing he wanted to do.
Knowing that Levi, even for a moment, wanted to end his life makes me want to burn the fucking world down.
I meant what I said. I’m so fucking proud of him. He chose to stay. To fight for his life. A world without Levi isn’t a world I want to be in.
This heavy guilt weighed on me the whole way home. We sat in my car, his hand in mine, and drove in silence, but the whole time all I could think about was how much I hated myself for not being there for him when he needed someone the most.
Maybe if he felt like he had more people on his side, he would have ended things with Brogan sooner.
But it’s not easy to leave an abusive relationship. Just ask my mother. I’m still waiting for her to wake up and see the man she’s married to. Or maybe she already has and has given up. It hurts to know some people feel like they have no way out.
I’m so fucking glad Levi got out.
When we get home, Levi heads into his room to shower and change. I do the same, spending far longer in the shower than I should. I just can’t get out of my own head, can’t stop thinking about what Levi had to go through.
I’m glad I’m in his life now. I’m going to make it my damn mission to make sure this man never feels pain like that again.
“Hey.” Levi looks up from his spot on the couch when I eventually make my way out to the living room. “Is everything okay?”
“Yup.” I give him a smile. “What are you up to?”
“Studying,” he sighs heavily. “Downside of enjoying my night off, I still have homework to do.”
“We can do ours together,” I say, grabbing my bag from near the door.
“Okay.” He smiles as I sit down next to him. For the rest of the night, we do our work, but I sneak glances at Levi, making sure he’s okay.
Eventually, he starts to nod off, and I chuckle softly. “Bedtime for you, Mister.”
“Huh?” He blinks his adorably sleepy eyes at me.
Grabbing his textbooks, I close them and place them back into his bag before standing. “What are you doing?” he asks, but there’s no heat or protest behind it as I scoop him up into my arms.
“Carrying your cute ass to bed. Now shh. Go back to sleep.”
Levi mutters something under his breath but closes his eyes, placing his head on my shoulder.
Lying him down, I cover him with his blanket.
Snicklefritz jumps up onto the bed and curls up into a spot near his head.
“You take care of your daddy, okay? Get me if he needs anything.” I reach over and give the little guy a scratch on the head.
I really do love this cat. He’s such a sweet boy. And god, he’s so soft.
“Sweet dreams, baby.” I lean in and place a soft, lingering kiss on Levi's forehead. I can’t wait until he’s in my bed. Soon.
I head out into the living room and clean up before going to my room. Lying in bed, I stare up at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep. All I want to do is go into Levi’s room, pull him into my arms, and cuddle him. To hold him close to me so I can protect him.
***
Yeah. I play like shit. With no sleep and a distracted mind, there wasn’t any hope for me.
I hate that I’ve failed the team, but it’s been a few days since Levi opened up to me, and I can’t get it out of my head.
Getting to hang out both Tuesday and Wednesday with him was the best. We did some more studying, hung out, played video games, and just relaxed. I could tell Levi really needed it. When he woke up this morning, he seemed in better spirits.
I’m not sure if it has anything to do with me and my company or that he got a few days off to recharge, but I’d like to think it’s both.
Me, on the other hand, my sleep has been shit. I stayed up half the night thinking about Levi and stopping myself from going in there and cuddling his ass.
It got to the point I called my therapist. I didn’t tell her about any of the arrangements with Levi, or the fact that he’s living with me. But I did tell her about the fact that I’ve fallen hardcore for my best friend, and I feel like I’m going crazy not being able to have him like I want him.
And you know what this woman said? Tell him how I feel! Like, hello, if it were that easy, I would have already done that.
Okay, maybe it is that easy. But I’m not willing to take the risk.
Now knowing what Brogan was like and the things Levi has been through, I really want to make sure he can see how much I care about him before I spill my heart out. Show him that I can be the right one for him.
“It’s okay. We got this next time.” Charlie says, patting me on the shoulder.
We’re all a mess, covered in mud, tired, and ready for sleep. I don’t think anyone is going to be going out for drinks tonight. I’m glad. The last thing I want to do is drink right now. I’d probably get trashed and do something stupid.
“What the fuck is he doing here?” Cole growls.
Charlie and I look over to see what he’s looking at. “What?” I have no idea.
“He doesn’t even fucking like rugby, would insult it any chance he could. Saying it wasn’t a real sport like football. Like, get fucked, asshole.”
“Who?” I look between the two of them, not having a fucking clue what’s going on.
“Brogan,” Cole mutters.
“Wait. Brogan as in Levi’s ex?” My spine stiffens, and all I can see is red.
“Yup. That fucking asshole. God, I hate him so much.”
Now that I know who I’m looking for, I spot the asshole with a group of guys leaving the bleachers.
“Hey, Charlie!” one of Brogan’s buddies calls out. “No wonder your girlfriend's attention is wandering. She’s probably looking for a real man.” He cackles like a dickhead. “Give her my number. I’ll show her.” He winks.
A few things are happening right now. One, I have no idea what he means about Claire's attention wandering. I know the two of them have been having issues, but I’ve been so busy with Levi lately, we haven’t really had a chance to talk about anything but rugby.
Total asshole best friend move on my part. I’ll admit that.
And two, I know we’re about to get into a fight with these assholes. I know it’s not a good idea. We’re on school grounds. There are a lot of people around. And we could get in big, big shit.
But the look in Charlie's eyes tells me this is going down either way. So I could try to stop my best friend from kicking this fucker’s ass, or Cole, Charlie, and I could go over there and fight.
“Dibs on Brogan,” I shout the moment Charlie snaps, snarling as he starts to rush over to the group like a bull.
I take off after him, Cole on our heels, and even some of the other guys on our team follow, seeming to have our back.
The group of guys from the football team’s eyes widen in surprise for a moment before they start after us, too.
We all clash together, shouting and getting into a brawl. Brogan goes to swing for one of my teammates, but I punch him in the face first.
He lets out a cry, blood spurting from his nose. A sick smile makes its way onto my face as I grab the fucker by the shirt and pull him away from the group and under the bleachers.
Throwing him to the ground, I straddle him and throw a punch.
“Fuck you!” he shouts. “Get off me, you crazy bastard.”
Snarling, I punch him again, chipping one of his teeth. He curses, swings back, and hits me in the jaw. I see red, wrapping my hands around his neck.
“Why should I?” I spit in his face. “You didn’t get off Levi when he fucking asked you to.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” He chokes out, trying to claw at my arms.
“I know what you did to him. I know how you treated him. You never deserved him. You're just some spineless piece of shit. A sad little boy who gets off putting other people down to make himself feel better. Levi is the best damn thing you were ever going to get. Now he’s mine.”
He manages to get in a punch. Pain splits through my head, making me grunt as I get shoved to the side.
Brogan rolls over and spits blood before looking at me with murderous eyes.
“You never deserved Levi,” I shout. “He’s too fucking good for you. I’m gonna treat him like the king he is. Make him forget you ever existed. How fucking messed up do you have to be to force sex from people? Can't get it on your own, huh?
“Fuck you.” Brogan spits. “Whatever the little prick said is a lie. He’s fucking pathetic. You can have that little freak.” Brogan growls. “He was shit in bed anyways.”
A deep guttural growl vibrates in my chest, and I launch myself at him.
The two of us roll around on the ground, getting hits on one another. Every blow fucking hurts, but I don’t stop. Even when my hands go numb. I keep going.
That is, until my coach grabs me by the back of the shirt and pulls me off Brogan.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, Cade?!” he roars, yanking me to my feet. I stumble, breathing like a madman as I shoot daggers at the pussy on the ground. I spit a wad of blood in his direction.
“Fucker and his team started it.” I spit.
“He’s fucking crazy!” Brogan stumbles to his feet.
“Both of you get the fuck out of here!” Coach roars. “Before the cops are called. Dean’s office tomorrow. You both are in big fucking trouble.”
Brogan wipes at his nose, keeping his pissed off glare on me before walking away.
“This isn’t over fucker!" I call out.
“Oh, it is.” Coach growls, letting go. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you’re in Austin?” Coach shakes his head. “Save it for the fucking field.”
“He’s not on the rugby team.” I point out.
“Not that! The aggression. Where was all that energy in tonight's game?”
Really? He wants to point out how bad I played tonight.
I don’t say anything, just glare at him.
He sighs heavily. “You boys are like sons to me. I don’t want you all to get in trouble, but this is out of my hands.
The best I can do is send you home before the cops are involved, but I do have to report this to the Dean.
Be at his office tomorrow by nine.” He shakes his head.
“And go home, Austin. Do not hunt that boy down and do more damage because I can’t save you from jail time if you're off school grounds.”
He leaves me standing there, chest heaving, so much pent-up anger inside me I want to scream and punch something else.
When I get back to Charlie and Cole, they’ve each got a bloody nose and a bloody lip.
“Damn boy.” Cole whistles. “He got you good.”
“You should see the other guy.” I grin, and I can taste the blood in my mouth. “So fucking worth it.”
“I wish I could have seen you kick his ass. He deserved it. But I was a little busy.” Charlie laughs.
“Get the pound of flesh you needed?” I ask.
“For now,” he shrugs. “There will be other times.”
Funny. That's the same way I feel about Brogan.
We all head into the locker room, and everyone is high off the madness of the fight. Laughing and talking about it as we shower.
When I check my phone, I see a text from Levi telling me not to wait up for him because he needs to work late.
“We might not have won tonight, boys, but it still ended on a banger. I say we head down to O'Connell's and ride this high, what do you say?”
Everyone cheers, agreeing to go. “Let’s get fucked up. I need it.” Charlie mutters.
“Yeah,” I mutter more to myself. “I do too.”
I just hope my boyfriend, not boyfriend, doesn’t hate me when he sees my new bloody lip and black eye when we show up at his work.
If he asks, I’ll tell him we all got into a fight. And I’ll tell him it was with Brogan.
What I won’t tell him is that I pulled him to the side so I could yell at him for how he treated my man.
Just so that he knows that fucker got what was coming to him. Even though I don’t believe it’s enough.
I’m aware I’m facing repercussions with the school, but right now, at this moment, I’d take a suspension or expulsion if it meant getting payback for my man.