5. Kayshon
Monday Afternoon..
“What caused this emergency appointment, Kayshon?” Letitia asks after several minutes of silence.
Breaking eye contact with her, I stare straight ahead as I work to get my bearings and thoughts together. My regular appointment with Letitia is set for Thursday. However, a restless night had me calling her after the run Sassy and I took didn’t quiet the nightmares. Not wanting to entertain Honesty and the bullshit that came with her, I didn’t let her drain my dick last night. Therefore, I had nothing to block the torment of my mind, allowing the nightmares to begin the minute I closed my eyes.
“I need you to tell me how to make them stop,” I whisper.
“What do you need to stop?”
“The image of my mother that choked me all night.”
“I’m curious. Forgive me for asking this question now instead of during our initial session, but what have you done before now to keep them at bay? Or have you simply dealt with it without any form of strategy?”
Pulling my gaze from the crack in the wall behind Letitia, I meet her assessing orbs before answering her inquiries.
“I fuck my jump-off until exhaustion causes me to sleep without the strength to produce any thoughts.”
“So, why didn’t that work last night? Is that what you’ve always done to mask the torment within you?”
A frown slips into place at Letitia’s reference because I disagree with her statement, and I’m not tormented. I’m dealing with nightmares after seeing a brutality I haven’t ever been able to register in my mind.
“It’s nightmares, not torment,” I say aggressively.
“Until you relinquish the guilt that you should have never started carrying, your nightmares will always torment you, Kayshon. What happened last night?”
“I didn’t feel like being bothered, so I went home instead of getting my dick wet. My dick was hard, so I handled my business from a memory and went to sleep where my mother’s frowning face met me.”
“Okay. Let’s unpack that. What was the memory?” Letitia asks before breaking eye contact to write in the notepad, she keeps on her lap during these sessions.
“It was a time when Rema sucked my dick,” I say before recounting the encounter between Rema Gardner and me.
*Gawk. Gawk*
My toes curl into the carpet as my hands grip the back of the messy hair I’m holding onto. My eyes are closed to avoid staring into her eyes as I haven’t gotten used to seeing the look of lust filling the orbs I can feel burning a hole through me.
“Damn. Suck that shit, Rema.” My heavy and husky cords are low to prevent the rest of the house from hearing what’s going on in my room.
*Gawk. Gawk*
Heat and my toes popping snap me back into the moment as my nut spurts into Rema’s warm mouth.
“Fuck!” I whisper shout, holding Rema’s head in place as she sucks the remaining nut from my dick.
Letting her head go, I peel my eyes open to Rema removing the dribble of cum from her lips while her eyes twinkle in delight.
“I see you’ve been eating the fruit like I suggested. I love the sweet flavor in your nut, sweetie. Now, strap up so I can take a ride.”
“I had no idea that my new home would also come with such a condition. Rema started sucking my dick shortly before I turned fourteen. Rema was the person responsible for my becoming a man by allowing me to slip my inexperienced dick into her juicy walls. What’s crazy is that I don’t feel bad for sneaking around with Rema. According to her, it was our secret, and since she gifted me handsomely for my silence I never had a reason to. Shit, I was young and down to keep it between us for as long as she wanted me to,” I say after ending the memory that led to my nightmare.
“Where was your foster dad?” Letitia asks.
“Tuh. Humphrey was a fool for letting Rema run over him and pass her pussy out like the candy man did at the candy store in Willy Wonka. Although from the moaning and grunting I’d witnessed from Humphrey when Rema fucked him with a strap-on, I doubt poor Humphrey would disagree with anything Rema did. Rema’s freaky ass had no shame in her exploits and never stopped whatever tryst she was engaging in if you caught her. I’ll never forget the first time I stumbled onto the debauchery inside this house,” I say as another memory flashes in my mind, causing me to shake my head.
“Tell me about it,” Letitia says as I start talking while returning to that place in time.
My bare feet hit the stairs, descending toward the first floor as quietly as possible, searching for something to drink. Seeing Kyce and Jawaan’s closed doors let me know that both of them were in the throes of sleep, as I should be. Not wanting to get caught, I didn’t even look toward Rema and Humphrey’s bedroom at the opposite end of the hall. Upon reaching the bottom level, I quickly move toward the kitchen, but noises coming from that direction make me hesitant. Yet, curiosity keeps me moving but at a slower pace as my eyes shift from left to right. At the kitchen entrance, my feet halt at the sight before me as my eyes widen.
“Mm. You like how my dick feels in your ass, huh?” The bare ass of an unknown man pushing into Humphrey nearly causes me to upchuck.
This is precisely why I didn’t want to get caught out of my room. Rema and Humphrey have been sending weird vibes since I got here.
Humphrey is bracing the island as best he can with Rema kneeling in front of him gobbling his dick like a turkey. Her hands are holding onto Humphrey’s thighs while her eyes are tightly closed. Something is in Humphrey’s mouth preventing him from verbalizing his enjoyment, yet his moans are their own decree.
“Unh. Unh. That’s it. Take this dick, Humph,” the man says as smacking sounds fill the air.
I know I should move or even retreat in the opposite direction, but I’m frozen in place because this shit is wild. I can’t believe the man who’s been preaching to Kyce, Jawaan, and me about being integral men enjoys taking dick. Bile forms in the pit of my stomach, forcing me to retreat just as Rema’s eyes open and land on me.
Oh shit! Oh shit! Hold on. Did she just… smile?
Seeing Rema release Humphrey’s dick to give me a smile nearly has me losing my stomach contents. There’s a gleam in her eyes as she spits on Humphrey’s balls before sucking them slowly into her mouth. Rema’s eyes never lose contact with me as she appears to be taunting me in some way. Nodding unconsciously, I slowly back out of the entry and return to my room, lightly closing the door behind me.
“The moment had been monumental to me because it was like Rema was dropping the gauntlet, and I happily picked that mothafucka up. Shit, my young ass wanted to know if Humphrey was exaggerating or if Rema’s mouth was worthy of making him that stupid. While Rema could never fuck or suck me into having a nigga fuck me, I was curious about what her mouth was capable of doing outside of that.”
“So, you’re saying you willingly let Rema suck your dick?” Letitia asks, her left brow hiking as her left hand hovers over the notepad.
“Did I? Hell yeah, I did. After she sucked me off, I laid there and let her bring my dick back to an erection so I could fuck her ass,” I say with a low chuckle and a wide smile.
*antttt*
The buzzer sounds, letting me know that my time with Letitia has come to an end as I stand while feeling lighter than I did before my arrival.
“Do you think you need to keep your regular appointment, or are you good until next week?” Letitia asks.
“I’m straight until next week. Thanks for squeezing me in. I appreciate you.”
An undetermined time later…
What the fuck am I doing over here?
“Hey, fam bam. Next up is an oldy but goodie on this hour of the quiet storm. This is your boy, Ralph Tresvant,” the New Edition band member says, echoing around the silent interior of my vehicle as my eyes stare straight ahead.
My eyes are burning, yet I can’t pull myself away from the sight before me. My jaw clenches, and my hands become ashen from clutching the steering wheel. My mystery wife is standing at her door as some tall nigga with a bald head grins in her face while trying to caress her cheek. On the other side of the complex, Honesty is rubbing her hands up and down some nigga’s chest while smiling like a fool.
*bzzz*
Unconsciously, I tap the button to connect the incoming call without the presence of my eyes. “What’s good?”
“Where are you at, bro? Sassy is lying by your front door with tears in her eyes and shit,” Jawaan asks.
“Trying to imagine how committed I need to be to making choke sandwiches for the next five to ten,” I say as my chest tightens upon seeing dude gently push my wife into her crib before smiling wide while following her inside.
Biting the inside of my cheek, I fight the urge to get out of this vehicle and make this busta ass nigga leave not only the complex but the area.
“Bro, where the hell are you at? Do I need to meet you somewhere? What the fuck is a choke sandwich?” Jawaan asks back-to-back questions, reminding me of his presence on my phone.
“Why are you asking so many questions, nigga? What the fuck do you want?” I ask aggressively as my body temperature increases while a haze of clouds dances in my eyes.
“Who’s rank pussy is resting in your beard, causing you to snap at me, bro?” Jawaan asks with humor heavy in his tone.
Feminine laughter pierces the vehicle, forcing me to shift my attention to Honesty, whose legs are now wrapped around the nigga struggling to hold her.
“Nigga needs to spend more time in the gym, and he wouldn’t be looking like he’s seconds away from risking his impending nut,” I grumble, shaking my head at the sight before me.
“All right, bro. You’ve got less than ten seconds to let me in on what’s going on before I track your location,” Jawaan says.
“I’m on my way to the crib,” I say as my mood darkens when my eyes return to the closed door of my woman, as my imagination causes my psyche to spiral into a trainwreck.
While you’re sitting here, I bet that nigga is fucking your woman while she rubs his bald head. When he’s done, he’s gonna kiss her perfect lips before they go to sleep in each other’s arms. Your bitch ass deserves it for letting the nigga go in the house. To top it off, your jump-off is about to end her night with the next nigga while you drive home to let Sassy sleep at the foot of your bed.
Mom. Mom. Please come back.
Jumping out of my sleep, I sit up as the weight of Sassy’s body causes my legs to tingle due to my inability to move. Grabbing the bottle of water from the nightstand, I quickly untwist the cap and take a generous drink of the room temperature liquid. My dry throat is grateful for the moisture as my hand trembles lightly. My heart is out of sync as my chest pinches, and my pulse thumps erratically. Sweat coats my body like a glove, causing my tank top and pajama bottoms to cling to me like Velcro. I’m struggling to return my heart rate to its normal rhythm as the vision of Mom’s bloody body hovers on the surface. Placing the now empty bottle on the table, I grab my phone and dial a number as ringing pierces the quiet bedroom.
“How can I ease the burden, Kayshon?” Letitia’s sleep-heavy voice sounds through the receiver when the call connects after four rings.
“Coming over here to fuck this shit outta me isn’t an option, so you tell me,” I say as emotion mixes with desperation, deepening and hardening my delivery.
“What the fuck did he say?” A deep, raspy baritone sound in the background lets me know that Letitia also has the call on speaker.
“Oh shit! My bad, bruh,” I say apologetically.
“Go back to bed, honey. I’m gonna take this to my office,” Letitia says sweetly before I hear rustling, alerting me of her leaving the warmth of her bed.
Rubbing the back of my neck, I grimace at the knowledge of pulling Letitia out of her sleep to deal with my issues. Looking at the clock on my table, I note the time. 2:09 a.m.
“Am I about to regret providing you with my cell phone number?” Letitia’s voice hits the air an unknown time later, causing me to avert my gaze from the phone.
“I hope not. My bad, Letitia. I didn’t even consider the time when I hit you up. I just—” I pause to swallow the lump in my throat as a lone tear slips from the corner of my eye. “I feel like I’m losing my mind, man.”
“Can I make a suggestion that won’t cause you to cuss me out or dismiss me?”
Tingling at the base of my neck and the wrinkling of my nose pushes me to forge into the unknown of what Letitia will say next.
“Okay.”
“I’m a follower of Jesus, and I believe that every situation we face can be overcome through prayer. My suggestion for you is to pray and ask God to reveal what you need to see in this, equip you with the strength to go through while you and I sort it out, and help you release the guilt from your mind that’s keeping you bound. You and I have some work to do, but right now, at this hour, I feel led to send you to someone bigger than myself. While I don’t have the presence of mind to say the right words to you, I trust that God can handle you far better than I’m capable of right now.”
“I have done so much throughout my life that I’m scared He won’t hear me,” I whisper as rapid tears fall from my eyes, causing me to hang my head.
“Isaiah fifty-nine verse one contradicts your very statement. Try it, and if it doesn’t work tonight, we’ll explore other options during your next session.”
“How?” Emotion clogs my throat, making the word shaky beyond my ability to correct as I wipe away the moisture continually falling.
“My bible tells me that He’s closer than a brother, so this doesn’t have to be complicated at all. It’s an open dialog between you and the Father. Plain and simple.”
A low chuckle escapes my mouth at the reminder of Jawaan’s call from earlier as a light feeling spreads throughout my body.
“I cuss out my brothers, Letitia.”
“Well, eliminate those words and tell God what you need from Him.”
“Bet. Thanks for picking up, Letitia. I appreciate you.”
“No problem. I trust God with you, Kayshon. See you soon.”