Chapter 4
LYRIC
I would be lying to myself if I didn’t at least admit how much I’d thought about him and what happened between us.
It hurt.
When he left, it hurt bad, but I didn’t want to be clingy, and I definitely didn’t want to be the sort of fangirl to just chase after him when clearly, he’d needed his space.
By the time he and his group blew up and he found out he’d be enlisting within the next year, I’d all but convinced myself to forget about him.
I stopped checking the news and only focused on the songs. I did hole up a bit and just decided that my only job was to write for musicians, and they all looked and felt the same when they came into the studio.
Some were incredible, others were into themselves so much I wanted to offer them an extra mirror just in case theirs broke.
Being in LA was a breath of fresh air, something I’m sure a lot of people wouldn’t agree with...but for me, it was just far enough away from Seoul that unless they dropped a new song, I didn’t see anything about him.
While K-pop was blowing up, it was still easy to avoid in the States. I kept my head down, and I wrote.
I just never expected him to come back.
Specifically for me.
For songs, I knew it was probably inevitable because I was good at what I did, but for me?
I wasn’t sure how much I could trust him, just like I wasn’t sure if he would stick around again.
We walked out to the elevator.
He hit down.
I looked away.
And then his hand grabbed mine. “What sounds good?”
My heart thudded against my chest. “Huh?”
“Food?”
He smiled down at me, his long black hair covering part of his face, his smile open, friendly, happy.
Before, he’d been a bit more closed off.
Now he seemed...relaxed almost.
Warm.
Content. That was the word. Content.
“Chicken,”
I finally said once the doors closed. “At my apartment. Let’s just catch up and order chicken.”
“Chicken.”
He repeated. “Very sexy, I’ve always dreamed of having chicken with you after a long night at the studio dropping beats.”
“Never say dropping beats ever again if you ever want to get laid.”
He burst out laughing. “Noted.”
“Ever.”
“Got it.”
“Ever again.”
“So, chicken...”
He pulled me closer, wrapping an arm around me. “...let’s do that, and once we’re done, I’ll tell you why I walked away, why I left, why I abandoned one of the only relationships I should have stayed in. I’ll tell you I thought I was protecting you when really, I think I was afraid. I’ll tell you that I didn’t want to get involved with someone who had so much potential and was blowing up. How I was scared about the netizens going insane over us hooking up, and then I’ll tell you I was being a dumbass. Sound good?”
Stunned, I couldn’t move. “W-what?”
“But chicken first.”
The doors opened. “Always chicken first.”
I had no choice but to follow him out while he blatantly held my hand, while people walking by saw, while security smiled at us, and while a car was already pulled up for us.
He still didn’t let go of my hand.
I smiled and jumped into the car.
He drove.
“Address?” he asked.
“Are we doing this?”
“The chicken? Yes. The sex, no, sadly not. I kind of want to do things backward this time let’s eat first, talk, catch up, and then I’ll take you against the nearest hard surface—in a very respectful do- I-have-permission sort of way—before it turns into Fifty Shades, as it should, where I use my teeth, rope, and create our own fantasy.”
I laughed again. “Something’s unhinged in you.”
“You...”
He pulled into traffic. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about you.”
“I hope it was miserable.”
He shook his head. “No, it was everything.”