CHAPTER 85
CHAPTER
MAGGIE AND JUDITH NASH SAT side by side in the front row of a small church in southern California.
Next to them was a closed casket set on a church truck.
The mother and daughter had been reunited weeks earlier, and the moment had been emotional and sob-filled. They had clung to each other for hours.
Behind them sat Shock, his large body bowed and his features full of grief. “I’m so sorry,” he said to them as he leaned forward.
The women turned to him, teary-eyed, and they each placed a hand on one of Shock’s broad shoulders.
“Isaiah, you did all you could for him,” said Judith. “Without you helping he never would have survived as long as he did.”
Shock said, “He was just like his daddy, you know. His motor ain’t ever quit. And all he talked about was you two. How much he loved you and all.”
“He never quit, on anything,” said Judith. “And I can’t believe I was. . .unfaithful to him.”
Maggie shuddered when her mother said this. But she put her hand on top of Judith’s and gripped it. “We all make mistakes, Mom. All of us.”
“I’m so sorry, Maggie. For everything.”
“We still have each other. That’s what Dad would have wanted. Okay?”
Shock said, “And you got me, too. No lie.”
Then he slipped his hand into his pocket and took out the necklace and locket that Judith had worn around her neck and then left at the spot where she believed her daughter’s remains had been discovered. “They found this with Walter’s things. I know he would want you to have it back, Judith.”
She took it from him, opened the locket, and looked at the picture of her daughter on the day she was born. “Thank you, Isaiah.”
They all rose, went to the closed casket, and put their hands on it. Judith’s legs started to buckle. Shock quickly gripped her by the shoulder and held her up.
Two FBI agents came forward from the back of the church and led mother and daughter out to waiting cars. Shock walked out to his rental car and stood there. The casket was rolled out and placed into a hearse, and it was driven away as Shock, Maggie, and Judith somberly watched.
There would be no burial. They had been told that Nash’s remains had already been cremated, and the urn was inside the casket. His ashes, the agents had told Judith and Maggie, would be given to them before they left to fly home.
They had new identities, and the money that the government had contracted with Nash to pay him had been transferred to accounts over which they would have control. They were now wealthy in dollars. But they were impoverished in everything else. Both women started to sob as they were driven away.
After they left, the church was quiet for about ten minutes before a tall man stepped out from a side room and surveyed the space.
Then Walter Nash walked over and sat in the front pew.
I just attended my own funeral. But. . .it has to be this way. For a lot of reasons.
His anxiety heightened, Nash did the old breathing exercises his father had taught him.
They had long served him well, but this time they did not seem up to the task.
Neither did thinking of the painting with the girl and dog.
Nothing seemed to be able to plug the hole in the dead center of his chest. He was physically strong but weak everywhere else.
“I know how hard this is for you, Walter.”
Nash turned around. Shock came out of the shadows and sat down next to him.
“It’s harder for Judith and Maggie,” said a shaken Nash. “Far harder.”
“Yeah, but don’t shortchange yourself on grief, Walter. You lost a helluva lot, too.” He paused. “I know why you couldn’t tell them the truth.”
“I tried to convince myself that it would be all right. That I could tell them. That I could go and live with them as a family again, under assumed names. But that’s a pipe dream.
And if all three of us go into hiding? And we’re found out?
I couldn’t take that risk. If the world thinks I’m dead, then no one will bother to hunt for them to make them reveal where I am.
Better I’m always separate from them, Shock. It’s just safer all around.”
“Logic don’t make it any easier to swallow,” said Shock. “But I appreciate you lettin’ me in on the fact that you made it through okay.”
“You can take care of yourself, Shock. That I know better than most.”
“You ever need anythin’, man, I’m here for you. No lie.”
“Because of the promise you made to my father?”
“No. This ain’t got a damn thing to do with your daddy. I will be here for you, Walter, because of you, no one else.”
Shock put out a big hand, which Nash shook.
Then the man rose and left, leaving Nash sitting in an empty church wondering what came next.