Wolf
For the brain that was supposed to be the cold and logical side of things, I was a mess.
Finally being able to lay eyes on my mates had me over the moon with happiness.
I never wanted to believe them when they told me they were dead, not my mates.
We would always find a way back to each other I knew that deep in my soul, but when I finally had them surrounding me, I noticed that our bonds didn’t reconnect like I assumed they would.
I’d thought it was simply the issue of being so far away from each other that our connection had a limit to what would work.
Now that they’re back I wasn’t sure what to make of the void that was still between us.
“Stop it, I can feel you worrying to the point of hysteria. Now is not the time to let emotions rule you, your human side is doing quite enough of that,” Maria said as she snapped me with a dish towel.
I snapped out of my panic attack and snapped at her, which got me another slap of the towel.
You know what’s wrong with us, don’t you?
“So what if I do,” Maria looked down at me with a quirked brow. “Seems to me that might be a good reason to be nice to me...don’t you?”
How have you lived this long being as cryptic and irritating as you are?
“Cachorro, one thing you will learn in life is to not give a fuck what other people think of you and just live the way you want to. I have lost loved ones, survived wars, and seen the worst of humanity... after that not much really scares you. I promised I would help you and your mates, but I’m gonna need you to trust me for this to work.
You know more about me than most of this pack does, hell even my own son, so in reality we are just having an exchange of trust or mutually assured destruction if you will. ”
A hand ran along my back and I looked up at Darius giving him a wolfish grin and a tail wag as I leaned against him.
“I’m sorry I lost my temper my queen, but as always you were right there to smack some sense back into me,” Darius said as he smiled down at me. “I’ve been all out of sorts since you’ve been gone.”
Koit let out a bark of laughter before he could control himself. “Is that what we’re calling it? Your man here is the reason we are enemy number one to the Collective, him and Asshole Abel got into it.”
“Would you have agreed to hand over control to the Collective?” Darius snapped. “Yeah, I didn’t think so, now back off.”
Well, it’s good to see that somethings don’t change...
My gaze drifted over to the stranger in their midst who was watching everything with an air of carelessness when in fact he was abnormally observant.
As he sensed my attention on him, he met my gaze and held it with no challenge in it, just simple curiosity.
Pushing away from the wall he approached me and squatted down so we were more eye level.
“Hello Viv, I’m Christian, an old friend of Orion’s and the leader of this rebel alliance. Your mates asked for my help in finding you when they got to the US, but it seems that you’ve managed fairly well. Can I assume that Faulk was your doing?” He asked.
I looked over at Maria expectantly for her to fill the others in.
“Oh no cachorro, I’m not playing telephone with you. If you have something to say either shift back or figure it out,” Maria offered as she bustled about the kitchen.
You said that I would need you to talk to them. That was the whole god damn reason I decided to come with you.
“I’ve changed my mind, I know you figured out how to talk to someone other than me, so be a big girl and deal with your own matters.”
What is this? Some kind of tough love therapy? Let me tell you, I’ve been through it all growing up to try and “fix” my issues and none of it worked.
“Of course it didn’t work, there was nothing for them to fix, this time is completely different. Now stop ignoring your mates and our guest,” Maria tutted frowning at me.
Rolling my eyes at her I moved so I was facing the rest of them in the room.
I took a deep breath and let my alpha energy out, filling the room just as I had with Tim earlier that day.
Building a connection to my mates was far easier, it wasn’t the same as the mate bond, but it was more like a pack bond, I could feel them and they could hear me, but it wasn’t more intimate than that.
Hello Christian, I am Vivianna, Dama of the Imperial Dawn pack of the island of Kursar... and yes, I killed Dr. Faulk.
Christian’s eyes widened in shock as he fell on his butt from where he was in front of me. “How the hell did you just pull us all into a pack bond? That shouldn’t have been possible, we’re all alphas.”
Maria cackled as she set the coffee pot and mugs down on the kitchen table.
“Oh my boy, you have learned much from me, but it seems we still have a lot to cover when it comes to female alphas. There is a reason they were picked to be pack leaders and not the men, they have a way of defying all the rules. This is the tip of the iceberg of what Viv can do, but with the state she’s in we need to make her whole before we can do much with it. ”
How do you plan on making that happen? I asked sharing my thoughts with the whole group.
“The first step will be to reestablish your bonds with your mates, and once we do that I’ll need Kate and Neveah, along with myself to do the rest,” Maria answered as she sipped from her mug.
“What Viv needs right now is unconditional love from each and every one of you boys. That no matter what she tells you that you will not turn your back on her, but instead support and encourage her. What we have to do can’t be done without all eight of you functioning as a whole unit.
It will take time for all the wounds to heal, and some won’t, but there can be grace and understanding in those moments,” Maria paused to look at all of us for a moment before she nodded.
“Alright cachorro, I think it’s time you tell them, and I mean tell them everything. ”
“Wait, let’s not do this here. Why don’t we go into the living room where we can all sit together?” Orion suggested. “I don’t know about the others, but for a conversation like this I would really like to be able to hold you if either one of us needs it.”
The others murmured their agreement, so we headed off into the living room where they all sat on the floor.
“Babe, I’m loving the new accessory, but I think it might better if we take it off for this. If you decided to shift back, I’m not sure picturing you naked and in a diamond encrusted collar would be fitting for this moment,” Koit teased as he removed the collar in question and took his seat.
Taking a moment to shake out my fur, I placed myself in a spot where I could see them. I needed to be able to gauge their reactions. None of them tried to reach out to me even though I could sense how badly they all wanted to, and I appreciated it more than they knew.
This is going to be one of the most difficult stories I’ve ever had to tell, so if you could just wait until I get it all out before you ask any questions it would help.
I waited a moment as they all nodded their heads, their expressions grim as they waited for me to start.
I don’t know how I got there or how long it’s truly been since I was taken from Kursar, because they kept Viv in a coma for most of it.
Viv awoke once by mistake and found herself in a hospital room, strapped to a bed weak and lost. Whatever drug they had given us kept me locked away somewhere deep inside of Viv where I couldn’t help her.
As Viv explored the room, she discovered that we were pregnant…
like super duper pregnant ready to pop, in my opinion.
Then we found out it was because we were going to have twins, two baby girls...
could you believe that? As you all know werewolf pregnancies are dangerous, so they kept me locked away so there was no chance she could shift, and kept her asleep and medicated to speed up the process.
Everyone in the room tensed and Bentley gave a sharp intake of breath at this information.
Faulk used genetic modification on my babies so they would be born faster, using a combination of my own genetic makeup and some new studies.
For the last week or so before they were born, they kept me awake because one of the girls was in distress and felt it was all the medication to keep me under.
By the end of the week, I was able to free myself and we took out a nurse and tried to escape, only to find out how weak our body had become.
This triggered my labor, and I was rushed to an operating room where they got Hope out first...
I paused picturing that moment again where I saw her for the first time, screaming at the world.
“Viv, I can see her.” Rik shouted, pulling me out of the trance I had fallen into. “Oh sweetheart, she’s beautiful, you said her name was Hope?”
Yes, that is our first born, and she is a spitfire ready to take on the world when she doesn’t get what she wants.
“Sounds just like her mother,” Darius muttered, but the soft smile on his face told me how he really felt.
“Can you show us our other daughter?” Orion asked, and something in his voice told me he had an inkling of what I was about to tell them.
Closing my eyes, I pictured her little body curled up in my arms, her pure white fur tinged with violet like her father’s.
I remembered her soft floral scent that was as pure as she was, the softness of her coat and the amethyst color of her eyes, even though they would never truly see anything.
The grief I’d been holding back, as I tried to protect Viv from this moment, slammed into me like a title wave.
Arms wrapped around me and I knew it was Orion, his body shook as he cried with me and it was in this moment that Viv couldn’t turn away from her mate who was hurting as well.
I reached out a hand to her and she tentatively grasped it and let me pull her from the pit of darkness that she’d been hiding in.
I know this is painful and it hurts to face it, but they need us and we need them. I can’t do this alone...
You’re right, we need each other, and they need us whole no matter what that looks like.
Have you looked at them? Really looked at them? They’re as damaged as we are— maybe with all our broken pieces we can fit together to create something new and whole.
Will you help me...I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to tell them everything on my own.
Viv, when are you going to get it though your thick skull that you are never alone. We will do this together and if we fall then we’ll pick each other up... okay? No more hiding.
No more hiding.
With that I pulled Viv to the light, and I stepped aside letting her wrap her arms around Orion as they mourned together over the loss of our daughter.