Chapter 5
Chapter Five
TEMPERANCE
My head wobbled on my shoulders, feeling light and floaty from all the shots I’d consumed with Nona, Gypsy, and Eden.
Rory was on the clock, so she didn’t partake, but she still hung with us at the bar as much as possible while we tied one on and really got to know each other over the past couple of hours.
The more time I spent with these ladies, the more I grew to really like them. They were open and honest while still being sweet and downright hilarious, and it was easy to see why Rory was a part of their crew.
Eden, being somewhat the sage of the group, had noticed my discomfort at Nona’s initial prodding at the beginning of the night, and had easily swayed the conversation away from me by talking about the drama that had gone down with her recently.
She told me all about her criminal brother and the nefarious activity she got sucked into that led to her being kidnapped and shot.
Then she went on to talk about how her actual boyfriend—who, from the sounds of it, was hot as hell and all man—started building her a dream cabin in the mountains just a few weeks after all that went down, and how she couldn’t wait to move into it when it was completed.
By the time she reached the end of her story, I was quite literally on the edge of my seat.
Sure, I’d heard gossip at the diner, but getting a firsthand account was totally different.
I was in awe of her courage and strength, and thanks to the alcohol loosening my tongue, I didn’t hesitate in telling her so.
“Wow. You’re incredible, you know that?”
Eden’s cheeks turned a dewy pink as she cast her eyes down and murmured, “Thanks,” shyly.
“And now your hot guy is building you a cabin!” I exclaimed excitedly.
Eden’s expression grew dreamy as she thought of her man. “Yeah. He’s okay, I guess,” she teased, the breathiness in her voice contradicting her casualness of her words.
Rory let out a snort, and we all turned to her. “Oh please. That man’s so hot you could fry bacon on his abs and he worships the ground you walk on. If I didn’t love you, I’d hate you.”
“Amen, sister.” Gypsy lifted her shotglass to Rory.
“Speaking of hot guys….” Nona broke in, looking at me and arching a brow. “You wanna tell us what it was like to date Hayes Walker before he turned into one of the hottest cops in the tri-state area?”
Oh God.
“Seriously, guys,” I tried. “It’s really not that big a deal. We dated for four years when we were kids a lifetime ago.”
The words left a sour taste in my mouth as I spoke them, because even though I’d spent all this time trying to convince myself of that very thing, my heart and head rebelled at speaking them out loud.
Yes, we were young when we were together.
And yes, it felt like a million years ago.
But for twenty-one years, every man who entered my life was put up against the memory of Hayes, and every man came up short by miles.
I’d always dreamed of having a family. I wanted the kids and the dog and the loving husband.
But I was a thirty-nine-year-old woman with nothing to show for my life but a crappy apartment and a job that took up my entire life.
And it was all because the memory of Hayes was so strong I could never fully push it away.
Nona flipped her gorgeous red hair over her shoulder and leaned in.
“Doll, I don’t know who you’re tryin’ to fool, but I own the only salon in Hope Valley, and let me just tell you, those old blue-haired biddies love to talk.
I knew about the epic romance that was Hayes and Temperance the first day I opened my doors.
A story like that doesn’t last for twenty years unless there’s a whole hell of a lot of truth to it. ”
“It’s true,” Gypsy said with a tipsy nod. “I’m totally persona non grata around here, and even I heard that story about a million times.”
My head quirked to the side as I took in the stunning blonde. “Persona non grata?”
She gave her shoulders a shrug like it didn’t matter, but there was no missing the shutters that fell over her pretty blue eyes as she said, “Taking my clothes off and dancing naked for a living doesn’t sit well with some of the upper crust in this town.”
My whiskey-soaked brain could only handle so much at a time, and right then there was only one thing I could focus on.
“You’re a stripper?” I asked on a breathy whisper before booming, “That’s so cool!
” I was cognizant enough to notice the way her chin jerked back in surprise at my response.
She obviously hadn’t been expecting that reaction.
“I can totally see that,” I continued. “I mean, with your legs and all that hair and those curves, you’re probably the best-looking girl in that club! I bet you rake it in.”
She stared at me in shock for a few seconds before her face broke out in a smile. “Oh, I like you,” she announced.
“I mean, there’s so much more to being a stripper then just getting naked,” I continued drunkenly. “Like how you work that pole! That takes serious talent. I tried one of those pole dancing classes at a gym once, and gave myself a concussion. You totally have to teach me how to do all that stuff.”
Gypsy slammed her palm down on the bar and declared, “That’s it. You’re officially part of our crew for life.”
“I second that. Cheers to our newest member!” Eden chirped loudly, lifting her shot glass in the air. Nona, Gypsy, and I did the same while Rory looked on with a giggle and a shake of her head.
The four of us threw our shots back, then plunked the empty glasses back on the bar.
The liquor settled in my belly, and as I looked around the group of ladies who’d just adopted me as their own, something deep in my gut told me that I could trust them.
They were the type of women you could lean on, who’d offer to help shoulder your burden simply because they cared.
I’d never had that. Not since I tucked tail and ran away a lifetime ago.
And it was because of that realization—and copious amounts of booze—that I found myself opening my mouth and admitting, “I was so crazy in love with him. I was only a kid, but it never felt like this childish, na?ve love. It felt real. Even looking back on it now, it still feels that way.”
“Then what happened?” Eden asked on a hesitant whisper as everyone leaned in close, their curiosity piqued.
I looked to Rory to see her eyes glistening with unshed tears. She was the only one who knew the truth. Until now.
“Hayes’s dad was a Marine, and since he was old enough to want it, all Hayes dreamed of was following in his father’s footsteps.
That was the only thing he ever wanted to be.
We used to drive his truck out to the pond on my grandparents’ land and lie down in the back, looking up at the stars, and he’d talk about it with so much passion that I couldn’t imagine him ever doing anything else.
But….” I stopped to swallow the lump forming in my throat.
“One night in the middle of our senior year, the condom broke.”
“Oh my god,” Eden breathed, lifting her fingertips to her lips.
“The Hayes I knew was loyal to a fault,” I continued.
“The moment that stick turned pink, he was ready to give up everything he’d ever wanted.
No way he was willing to leave me behind while I was pregnant.
It was out of the question. He made the decision that he was going to stay in Hope Valley.
We’d get married and he’d get a job so he could support us.
And that was that. There was no arguing with him.
When he set his mind to something, there was no swaying him.
I knew whatever job he got would never fulfill him, but no matter how much I argued, he wouldn’t change his mind. ”
“Shit,” Gypsy hissed.
“No one knew. We kept it from everyone because we were scared of how our parents would react. I only told Rory about it after the fact.”
I looked to my friend, and she gave me a sympathetic smile. “Then….” The backs of my eyes began to burn, but I fought the tears back. “I started bleeding one night. I freaked out and told my mom everything. She took me to the hospital and I ended up… I had a miscarriage.”
Nona leaned in and placed a hand on my knee. “Oh, honey. I’m so sorry.”
“Hayes blamed himself for not being there even though it wasn’t his fault.
He told me we could try again as soon as we graduated, but I just couldn’t do it.
I’d wanted that baby more than anything.
It was part of us. I felt like a failure for losing it, and I felt like a failure because the boy I loved more than life had given up so much for me, but still wanted to give me more.
I kept asking myself what it was I was giving him in return, what was I doing to make all his sacrifices worth it, and couldn’t come up with a good answer.
I thought it was selfish keeping him here. So I….”
“You broke up with him so you wouldn’t hold him back,” Eden finished for me, understanding and sadness laced through her words.
“I was young and immature. I thought I was doing the right thing. That was just the first bad decision in a whole string of bad decisions on both our parts. By the end, we’d messed up so much there was just no coming back from it.”
I could still recall everything that happened after that with such great clarity that it might as well have happened yesterday.
The party Rory dragged me to a couple weeks after the breakup.
Seeing Hayes and having my already-broken heart ripped to shreds.
The note. Sitting out in the woods all alone. Then going home to a nightmare.
Each terrible memory was in vivid technicolor, playing on a continuous loop in my head.
“Well,” Gypsy started, breaking the minute-long silence that had enveloped us, “it’s a good thing we found you when we did,” she stated, surprising me out of my melancholy.
“Between all of us, we give good advice, an awesome shoulder to lean on, and even better girls’ night out.
You’re officially under our wing, babe.”
And just like that, the mood was lightened, and I knew, without a doubt, that I’d done right in putting my trust in these women.
“Yes!” Gypsy yelped. “I love this song. Let’s dance!”
Without giving me a chance to object, she grabbed my hand, yanked me off my stool, and dragged me onto the dance floor, both of us wobbling drunkenly as “Natural” by Imagine Dragons blared from the jukebox.
Nona stayed back with Eden since the gunshot wound to her leg—while healing—prevented her from dancing for a little while longer. Rory was once again schlepping drinks as the crowd at The Tap Room continued to grow, so that left just me and Gypsy.
I loved to dance so it was second nature to throw my hands in the air and move to the beat.
As we shook our hips and moved all around the floor, it became clear to me that if her looks weren’t enough to earn her the big bucks, Gypsy’s moves certainly were.
The woman could dance. Practically every man in the bar was salivating over her.
But it wasn’t about sensuality. It was almost like watching moving art on that dancefloor.
Hell, even I couldn’t look away, she was just that good.
One song bled into another and another, and we danced and laughed until a thin sheen of sweat had spread across my skin and I was nearly out of breath. When it became too much, I grabbed Gypsy’s hand and gave it a little jostle to get her attention.
“I need water,” I called over the music.
“All right,” she relented with a smile. “Let’s go back.”
Holding tight to her, I turned to head back to the bar only to jerk to a stop so fast she crashed into me from behind.
“What the—oh shit,” she finished when she caught sight of what had stopped me short.
A small crowd had gathered around the girls since we left them.
The tall, hulking blond dude holding on to Eden like she was his very reason for breathing had to be none other than her Lincoln, and damn, had she done well with that one.
Another extremely good-looking guy stood to the left of them, chatting with Rory and Nona, but it was the man currently bent at the waist, leaning into his forearms on the bar top, who held my attention fast and stole my breath.
Those deliciously dark eyes were so intense on me that I felt my skin tingle as he stared in my direction.
The combination of his gaze and all the whiskey I’d consumed was impairing my senses and making me woozy.
When I left the farmhouse earlier, I hadn’t expected a couple of drinks to turn into a full-blown girls’ night, so I wasn’t dressed accordingly.
I had on the same clothes I’d gone riding in earlier that day, a pair of faded bootcut jeans and a fitted maroon tee with an unbuttoned flannel over it—normal wear for Hope Valley if you weren’t out for a night on the town with your girls.
I’d changed out of my Wellingtons into a pair of beat-up boots, but having only done the bare minimum makeup-wise that morning and with my long hair pulled back in a sloppy ponytail with flyaways all over the place, I was far from a stunner like the other women I was with.
And now Hayes was there, and I was suddenly wishing I’d had the forethought to put a little more effort into my appearance before making a trip to The Tap Room.
I started for the bar again when Gypsy leaned in and said, “Good Lord, girl. Is it just me, or did the temperature in here go up about ten degrees?”
At her words, the heel of my boot caught just a few feet from the bar and I stumbled like a drunken idiot.
Of course.
Before my ass hit the floor, two strong arms rounded my waist and I slammed into a strong wall of muscle that smelled like musk and man.
And when I looked up into those warm brown eyes, I felt like I’d just traveled back in time more than two decades.
Shit.