Chapter 16 #2
“Sorry, Mama,” I said sheepishly as she pulled me to the sink, flipped on the tap, and held my injured finger beneath the steady flow of water.
She pulled my hand from beneath the spray and gently dabbed at the cut with a paper towel.
A few beads of blood formed, but the worst of the bleeding had already stopped.
“It’s not so bad,” Mom muttered, her tone shifting back to normal.
“A little Neosporin and a Band-Aid and you’ll be good as new. ”
I held the paper towel to the cut as she rummaged around in one of the cabinets and came back with a first aid kit. I stood there while she doctored me up just like she had when I was a kid.
“How’s that sweet boy doin’?” she asked once my finger was bandaged securely.
Blowing out a breath, I looked back out the window to the fields beyond. “He’s… okay, I guess. Or at least I hope.” I turned back to face her as I explained, “Honestly, Mama, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m in way over my head with him, and all I can hope is I don’t do more damage than good.”
Her face went soft with affection, and she gave my hand a gentle squeeze.
“Honey bunch, all your life, you’ve led with your heart.
Every decision you’ve ever made has come from in here.
” She placed her palm on my chest. “For some people—hell, for most of them—that isn’t a good thing, but my girl, along with having a big heart, also has good instincts.
You saw an injustice bein’ done, and you stepped in to make it right.
You gave that boy a chance at a good life, a chance he’s never had before. ”
“Yeah, Mom, but you know what they say. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. I jumped right into the deep end. I don’t have the first clue what I’m doing. What if I screw this up and make things worse for him?”
Her face broke into a smile that was just as beautiful today as it had been when she was younger.
I knew that since I’d seen countless pictures of her from childhood to adulthood, and she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on.
“My sweet girl,” she said on a light giggle.
“I’ll fill you in on something. No parent has any idea what they’re doin’ when they first start out.
The best we can do is wing it and hope for the best. That’s the position you’re in now, honey, and all you can do is keep followin’ that heart of yours.
And if you ever feel that isn’t working, you pick up the phone and give your mama a call, and she’ll talk you down. ”
At that, she gave me a wink, but the melancholy was still holding me too tight to smile. “I hope you’re right,” I murmured, looking back to the window.
“I am,” she declared. “I’m always right.” She paused long enough that I forced my head back around to her, and when I did, I saw her studying me intently. “But somethin’ tells me those clouds in your eyes aren’t just because of that boy.”
Damn. Damn, damn, damn, double damn. My mom knew me too freaking well. I didn’t say a word, but of course, that didn’t stop her from reading the situation with startling clarity.
“Cord looks at you like you hold the power to make the sun rise just by waking up, Rory. You were so busy railing at that man and woman from Child Welfare Services—rightfully so, I might add—that you couldn’t see the way he was watchin’ you while you did it.”
I fought against the pull, but it was too strong. “How was he looking at me?” I asked on a whisper.
Her hand came back to mine and she pulled it toward her, clasping it close in both of hers. “Like you were the sun and moon and stars all rolled into one beautiful package that he wanted for his own.”
“Mama—”
But she was determined. “Only seen that look on one other person in all my life, but I know it well because it’s what I see every morning when I wake up and turn to your father and find him watchin’ me like I just brought up the sun.”
Oh god.
I loved that. God, I loved that they had that, but I couldn’t hear this. “I’m happy for you, Mama. I’m so glad you and Dad have that. But that’s not me and Cord.”
“Rory—”
“It’s not. And I know this because, as you said, I lead with my heart.
And even though you think that’s a good thing, let me tell you, sometimes it’s not.
Leading with my heart got me seriously hurt.
I can’t go through that again.” To my utter surprise, Mom’s head fell back on a bright, tinkling laugh.
My forehead pulled into a tight frown, and I pulled my hand from hers as I muttered, “I’m not sure why you find that so damn funny. ”
“Oh, my sweet girl,” she said on a sigh, struggling to contain her hilarity as she brushed a mirthful tear from beneath her eye. “It’s funny because you said it like you have any choice.”
My back shot straight, my eyes going wide. “What?”
She shook her head and grinned. “Honey bunch, you don’t have a choice,” she repeated.
“Hate to break it to you, but the heart doesn’t give the first flip what your brain says.
It wants what it wants, and there’s not one thing you can do about it.
And what yours wants is that tall, strapping man out there. ”
“But—”
“You have two choices, child. You can either keep him at arm’s length in a senseless attempt to protect your heart, or you can actually take a chance on somethin’, knowing there are no guarantees in life.
The first option comes with guaranteed heartache, because whether you’re with him or not, you won’t stop wanting him.
The second option comes with the possibility of heartache, but it also comes with the chance of happiness unlike anything you’ve ever known. ”
My heart started beating against my ribcage so hard it was a wonder my mom didn’t hear it.
Her shoulders lifted in a careless shrug, like she hadn’t just hit me with a wisdom bomb that left me breathless.
“Now, I myself would go with option number two, because the chance of potential happiness over guaranteed pain is a no-brainer to me. But you’re your own person, so you’ll have to make that decision on your own. ”
“I—”
Instead of letting me say anything else, she gave my hand a pat and went back to the task of preparing lunch, shifting the conversation to a different—though no less intense—topic. “There’s also somethin’ we need to discuss before the men get here.”
“And that is?” I asked dubiously. After all, she’d already hit me with more than my brain could process.
“We’re comin’ outta retirement to work the bar.”
I knew exactly why she just said that, and while it warmed my heart that my folks were stepping in for me, I couldn’t let them do that.
They’d been working toward retirement for so long.
“Mama, you guys don’t have to do that. I know my situation’s changed now that I have Zach to care for, but I can make it work. ”
“It’s not about that. Well, not completely, anyway.
Your dad and I gave this retirement gig a shot, and it’s not for us.
The ranch hands have been with us for years, and they keep this place runnin’ like a well-oiled machine, so there’s not much for your daddy to get himself up to, and there’s only so much fishin’ he can do.
That means most of the time he’s pacin’ around the house, drivin’ me up the damn walls.
You have a child you need to look after now, so we figured you could work days during the week while Zach’s at school, but between me and your dad, and the rest of the staff at the bar, we’ll have nights and weekends covered.
And when you have to do those classes to get yourself certified, you just let us know and we’ll work something out. ”
I felt a burn in the back of my eyes that came from the knowledge that I had the best parents on the planet.
I’d been stressing about what I’d do with the Tap Room now that I couldn’t be there any time, day or night.
I had to prove to Child Welfare Services that I was fit to be a foster parent.
That meant working nights and weekends, leaving Zach in the care of others, was out of the question.
My folks had worked most of their adult lives to get themselves to the point they were at now, and at the first sign I needed help, they threw all that to the wind so they could step in and have my back.
“Mama,” I whispered, moving close and wrapping her in a tight hug. “Thank you.”
“Anything for you, honey bunch,” she returned just as quietly, hugging me just as tight.
After a few seconds, her arms fell and she took a step back, sniffing away her tears and pinning her adorable stubbornness back into place.
“Now enough with this lollygaggin’. Those boys’ll be back any minute now, and no doubt they’ll be hungry.
Lunch won’t finish making itself, so get back to work. ”
Damn, I loved my parents.