Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
SAGE
“You know, you don’t have to look like you’re walking to your execution,” I said, giving Xander a teasing nudge with my elbow as we started toward the diner a few blocks from work.
I tugged the cardigan I was wearing tighter around me to ward off the chill.
The nip in the air was something I’d rarely experienced after eleven years of living in Arizona.
After more than a decade in Phoenix, I’d moved to Flagstaff.
I was on the path of starting my new life, and I wanted to go where it wasn’t uncommon to experience snowfall, but, in the end, it hadn’t been far enough from some of the toxic people I’d tried to remove from my life, and I hadn’t stayed long enough to get the full fall or winter effect.
Back in Tennessee, I used to love this time of year.
I’d sit on our back porch, snuggled under a blanket, sipping hot chocolate while I watched my dad work on his bike.
Being in Hope Valley, where autumn brought chilly temps and the leaves changed from green to beautiful shades of orange, red, and yellow, making the foothills and mountains look like they’d caught fire, I was once again reminded of home.
“I don’t look like I’m walking to my execution,” Xander grumbled, his face twisted into an unhappy scowl that made most of the people we passed give him a wide berth.
Stepping in front of him, I lifted my finger and pushed it into the divot his frown created between his eyes.
“Really? ’Cause you’ve got these two deep wrinkles right here that say otherwise.
” He batted my hand away with a snort, the corner of his mouth trembling as he stepped around me.
I sucked in a dramatic gasp and skip-walked to catch up with him.
“Was that almost a smile? My stars, Xander Caine, did you almost smile?”
Schooling his features to erase his humor, his sharp, “No,” came out in a grunt. But that tremble at the corner of his mouth was still there.
“Liar,” I said with a big grin. He slowed his pace so I could keep up, and we fell in line together. “You know, you really should smile more. You have an incredible smile,” I said, recalling just how profoundly his smile the night before had affected me. “And that dark beard makes it even better.”
I saw his head twist toward me from the corner of my eye. “You like the beard?”
I cut my eyes his way for a brief moment. “Are you kidding? I dig beards and long hair. As long as they aren’t scraggly. And yours aren’t scraggly. A lot of men can’t pull off that look, but you’ve totally got it going on.”
A gust of wind kicked up just then, and I burrowed even deeper into my cardi.
“You really should get a thicker jacket,” he stated, noticing my shiver. “Once you hit late September, early October, a sweater isn’t gonna cut it.”
“Yeah,” I replied softly, lifting my face to the wind and breathing deeply, pulling the crisp fall air into my lungs. “It was the same back home. I guess I forgot what it was like to experience seasons when we moved.”
“You aren’t originally from Arizona?”
I wasn’t surprised he knew that, seeing I’d listed my old Flagstaff address as my last known residence on my application, but I had to admit I was a little surprised Xander hadn’t done any digging on me.
His dislike was so strong when I first started, I was sure he’d use his computer hacking skills to do some sleuthing so he could dig up any dirt and get me fired.
“I was born and raised in Tennessee until I was sixteen. When my parents divorced, my mom dragged me off to live with her new boyfriend in Phoenix.” For the most part, that was the truth.
I just left out the fact that she’d divorced my dad after he was sent to prison.
“I grew up in a small town a lot like this called Redemption. Green mountains are in my blood, so you can imagine how shitty it was living in the desert for so long.”
“Must’ve been a culture shock for you.”
I shrugged, trying my best not to let memories of my mom cast a dark cloud over the incredible mood the cool weather had put me in.
“It was, but I dealt. And now I’ve got my mountains back, so it’s all good.
What about you?” I asked, turning to look at him as we walked. “Have you always lived in Hope Valley?”
His gaze shot back to the sidewalk directly ahead of us, and I got the eerie feeling he looked away to hide his reaction to my question. “No, only about seven years or so. I grew up in South Carolina but lived all over. Haven’t been back there for years.”
“Did you live all over because you were in the military?”
His head shot back around, his brows in such a deep V he was almost intimidating. “How’d you—”
“All the other guys used to be in the service. Doesn’t take a genius to sense a theme. Linc hires ex-military, so I assumed that was the case with you.”
He appeared to relax at my answer, but there was still an underlying tension that hadn’t been there before I started asking about his past. It was obvious he didn’t like talking about himself, and as much as I wanted to get to know him better, as much as I craved every bit of information about this man as I could get my hands on, I didn’t want to push.
Our recent friendship was incredibly fragile.
I didn’t want to risk breaking it when it had barely started.
I told myself I had plenty of time to get to know Xander; there was no need to rush.
Something in my gut told me this man needed someone in his corner.
And more than that, the more time I spent with him like this, the clearer it became that I wanted him in my life.
Sure, I was attracted to him in a big way, but I was off relationships for the foreseeable future.
However, a person could never have too many friends, right?
“I hope you’re not low on cash,” I said, shifting the topic a hundred eighty degrees, “’cause I’m not one of those chicks who picks at a side salad then pretends to be full. I want a burger the size of my head.”
“I’m not sure a burger the size of your head is a fair exchange for a scone and a black coffee.”
I shot him an affronted look. “Did you taste that scone? That was a little piece of heaven, right there. And even black, the coffee at Muffin Top is the best coffee you could ever taste.”
He lifted his hands in surrender, that tremble in his lips giving way to an actual smirk. “All right. You win.”
“I always do.” I gave him a saucy wink and reached out to grab the handle to the door of the diner only to have him brush me aside with a scolding look and pull it open himself.
“So you do have manners,” I joked, as I passed through the door he was holding for me.
“Color me surprised, big guy. Guess you weren’t raised by wolves after all. ”
“Pain in my ass,” he muttered just loud enough to hear.
I started for one of the stools at the counter where I usually sat.
Sally, the wife of the husband and wife team who owned and operated Evergreen Diner usually manned that area, and I liked hanging with her while I ate.
I’d been in enough times to know she and her husband Ralph were awesome.
But before I could take a seat, Xander gently grabbed my arm and moved in close, lowering his voice. “Can we sit somewhere else?”
I studied his face, reading the anxiousness clear as day. “Sure. But are you okay?”
“Yeah. I just . . .” He looked around the diner like a caged animal about to make a run for it. “Not a big fan of crowds.”
Those shadows were back in his eyes, the darkness creeping closer to the surface, and I had the sudden urge to lean in and give him a tight hug.
But something stopped me, an instinct telling me a show of affection like that wouldn’t be appreciated by a man like him.
I could have suggested we leave, but Xander was the most alpha of all the alphas I worked with—and they were all pretty damn alpha—so doing that would have run the risk of bruising his ego.
Instead, I shrugged like it was nothing and glanced around for an open table.
There was one only a few feet away, but I bypassed it for a booth in the very back corner.
“Well, hey there, darlin’,” Sally greeted after we sat. “Good to see you.”
“Yeah, you too. You’ve met Xander, right?”
She turned to the big man sitting across from me, a flicker of surprise registering across her face before she tamped it down.
“Yeah. I know Xander. Good to see you too, honey.” He mumbled a return greeting, but I could tell he was still uncomfortable, so I did what I could to cut through the tension.
“Do you know what you want, or do you need to look at the menu?”
“I’ll have the buffalo blue cheese chicken sandwich with fries and a water,” he said to Sally in a gruff tone that sounded rude, even though I knew that wasn’t his intention.
I hadn’t realized until just then, but what came off as him being a dick was mostly due to him being uncomfortable.
I knew there were times with me where he was an asshole just for the sake of being one, but at least now I knew his attitude started because he didn’t do well with new people.
That answered a lot of questions.
I turned to Sally with a big, easy grin. “I’ll have the Bigmouth Burger, extra cheese, add bacon, and a side of onion rings.”
Sally’s eyes went big after I finished giving my order. “You sure you want all that?”
I pointed my thumb at Xander and winked. “Big guy’s buying, so I’m going whole hog. What I don’t finish I’ll pack up and have for dinner tonight.”
Sally barked out a laugh loud enough to catch her husband’s attention from all the way in the kitchen. “Woman!” he bellowed as his bearded face popped up in the pass through. “What’re you hootin’ at out there?”
“Somethin’ Sage said,” she yelled back. “Mind your own business, old man!”
“Sage?” he shouted in return, ignoring his wife’s insult. “My Harley girl’s here?”
“Hey, Ralph,” I called, giving him a wave.